5 NFL Super Bowl betting tips - IntelligentBettingTips.com

Will the Tennessee Titans win OVER/UNDER 8.5 games? By University Stats Prof!

1. Introduction

Tennessee’s season completely turned around once they benched quarterback Marcus Mariota in favor of Ryan Tannehill.

After a 2-4 start, the Titans won seven of their final 10 games to sneak into the playoffs as the 6th seed in the AFC. Fun fact: it was the fourth straight season that the Titans finished with a 9-7 record!

In the playoffs, they knocked off the defending Super Bowl champions New England Patriots, as well as the top seed in the conference, the Baltimore Ravens. Derrick Henry ran like a mad man in those games, becoming the first player in NFL history to rack up at least 175 rushing yards in two games in the same postseason.

In the AFC Conference Championship Game, Tennessee grabbed a 17-7 lead in the second quarter, but couldn’t hold off the Chiefs any longer in a 35-to-24 defeat.

2. Offensive Position-by-Position Breakdown

2.1 Quarterbacks (QBs)

Ryan Tannehill was clearly one of the best Cinderella stories in 2019. After taking over as the starting QB over Marcus Mariota, he led the league in QB rating.

He crushed his previous career-high in completion percentage with as astounding 70.3%; his personal best was 66.4% in 2014.

During his first six years in Miami, he posted a 123:75 TD:INT mark. That equates to a 1.64 ratio. In 2019, he threw 22 TD passes versus 6 interceptions, which amounts to a 3.7 ratio. As you can see, once again he obliterated his past numbers.

The team thinks he can keep playing at that level after handing him a hefty contract. I do believe he’ll do a good job in 2020, but not at the 2019 levels, obviously.

As of now, the backup QB is Logan Woodside since Mariota signed with the Raiders. Woodside was drafted in the 7th round of the 2018 draft out of Toledo. During preseason games, he completed 46-of-76 passes (a 60.5% completion rate) for 539 yards with 4 TDs and no interception. It’s hard to tell what he can bring to the table.

2.2 Running Backs (RBs)

Derrick Henry was a true beast last year. He won the rushing title with 1,540 rushing yards and 16 TDs on the ground (he added two more as a receiver). His 5.1 yards-per-carry average is mind-boggling considering the high volume.

He didn’t slow down in the playoffs. After rushing for 182 yards in New England, he single-handedly destroyed the Ravens with 195 rushing yards. He was quieter in K.C. by accumulating 69 yards on the ground.

Few people remember how he finished the previous year on a high note as well. In the final four meetings of the 2018 season, he averaged 146 rushing yards and 1.75 rushing TDs per contest. Obviously, he followed up with a season to remember.

Henry’s numbers have steadily increased every single year since he joined the league in 2016. Now 26 years old, defensive coordinators must be getting up at night to game plan against him.

Dion Lewis was a nice change-of-pace back, even though he didn’t have a great year. At least he had NFL experience, which is not the case of the remaining potential backup backs. Both Dalyn Dawkins and David Fluellen are undrafted guys who have combined for 19 rushing attempts in the league.

Tennessee filled a need by drafting Darrynton Evans in last April’s draft. The third-rounder complements Henry’s skillset well, as Evans can spell him on passing third-down situations (a role that used to be played by Dion Lewis). Also, he isn’t great running inside the tackles due to his small size, but he is more of a change-of-pace runner who has home-run hitting capacities.

2.3 Wide Receivers (WRs)

Rookie A.J. Brown was hyped as a big-play guy, and he did not disappoint. He didn’t catch that many balls, but when he did he made the most of it.

The Mississippi product led all receivers that caught at least 50 passes with a jaw-dropping 20.2 yards-per-catch average. He scored 8 TDs, while also topping the 1,000 receiving-yard mark (he had 1,051).

Will former #5 overall pick Corey Davis live up to his draft status? It seems unlikely after watching his first three years as a pro. He raised hopes by posting a 65-891-4 receiving line in 2018, but he regressed to 43-601-2 last year. Talent and youth play on his side, though. He may not be a true No. 1 wideout, but he can clearly do the job as a number two or three receiver.

Adam Humphries is an efficient, yet not explosive player. He is good to pick up key first downs. He caught more than 70% of his targets in his final two years in Tampa, and he reached that goal once again in his first season in Tennessee.

Was he worth a four-year deal worth $36 million? Probably not, but having him as your slot receiver is a bonus. His numbers were down last year, but he will be a useful tool as a 27-year old this year.

Tajae Sharpe also made a nice contribution last year with 25 receptions, 329 yards and 4 TDs. He was a nice luxury to have on your roster, but he signed with the Vikings during the offseason.

2.4 Tight Ends (TEs)

Jonnu Smith and Delanie Walker received the most playing time at tight end.

Walker did a decent job, but father time seems to have caught up to him. After being very durable for 11 years, he stayed healthy for just one game in 2018 and seven games last year. Accordingly, the team cut ties with him as he was going to enter his age-36 campaign.

Walker’s absence gave more room for Jonnu Smith to shine. The 2017 third-rounder has seen his numbers increase every year. His 35-439-3 receiving line is nothing to write home about. He could make a jump in 2020, but don’t expect huge steps.

Anthony Firkser will be back with the squad. He doesn’t have the size and speed to become a great TE, but he does a fine job for a guy that was never drafted.

MyCole Pruitt will be the #3 TE. He has never caught more than 10 passes in any of his five years in the NFL. Enough said.

2.5 Offensive Line (OL)

Ben Jones has done a great job at the pivot throughout his entire eight-year career. He raised his game to a higher level last year by finishing at the second-best center in the NFL according to PFF grades. He’s been an awesome pickup when acquired from the Texas a few years ago.

Right tackle Jack Conklin broke the bank in Cleveland, which left a glaring hole in Tennessee. He was a very solid player, and Dennis Kelly or Isaiah Wilson will try to fill his shoes.

Kelly has received his two best PFF grades of his seven-year career in 2018 and 2019, which is a good sign. However, he doesn’t play at the same level as Conklin.

The organization figures to have a better chance at replacing Conklin adequately with Isaiah Wilson, who was taken late in the first round of this year’s draft. This guy weighted close to 400 pounds coming out of high school! He is a mauler.

The rookie needs work for both his footwork and technique, which led to uneven play in college. He has exceptional physical traits and high potential, but may not be great right from the start.

At left tackle, Taylor Lewan is a cornerstone of this offensive line. He’s been good his whole career, never receiving a PFF mark below 76.4, which is remarkable!

Rodger Saffold is the starting left guard for the Titans. He ranked as the sixth-best guard in the NFL last year; needless to say he’s been a valuable piece of the puzzle for this franchise.

The weakest link is Nate Davis at right guard. The third-round rookie struggled big-time last year.

2020 VS 2019 OFFENSE

The Titans did not make a single free agent acquisition on offense.

They lost some depth with the departures of RB Dion Lewis and WR Tajae Sharpe. The team hopes 3rd round pick Darrynton Evans can spell Henry appropriately.

The backup QB will also be weaker due to Mariota leaving for Vegas. And despite his advanced age, Delanie Walker was a decent TE, although he only appeared in seven games last year.

The biggest loss occurred on the offensive line. Seeing Jack Conklin go to the Jets hurts the team. Rookie Isaiah Wilson will do his best to hold the fort, but he is unlikely to play at the same level as Conklin in his first year as a pro.

Finally, how could we expect better production out of Ryan Tannehill in 2020 as opposed to his 2019 heroics?

In conclusion, I am tagging the Titans offense with a moderate downgrade in comparison to 2019.

Final call (2020 vs 2019): Moderate downgrade

3. Defensive Position-by-Position Breakdown

3.1 Defensive Linemen (DLs)

Jurrell Casey is a strong run stuffer, while also averaging 5.7 sacks per year over a nine-year period. He was traded to Denver for cap reasons, which will hurt Tennessee’s interior of the line a lot.

With Casey gone, the team will hand a much heavier workload to Jeffery Simmons. After missing the first seven games due to a knee injury, he showed fairly good promise as a #19 overall pick from the 2019 draft. His sophomore year will be critical.

The team will also rely on DaQuan Jones to step up his game. He is an above-average DL, whose main strength is defending the run. He only has seven sacks in six years.

The Titans lost some depth as Austin Johnson went to the Giants.

3.2 Defensive Ends (DEs) / Edge Rushers (ED)

Harold Landry played twice as many snaps in his sophomore year as his rookie season, and he doubled his sack total (going from 4.5 to 9 to lead the team in that category). He graded as the 62nd-best edge defender in the league out of 107 players. He has the potential to take a leap.

The team hopes to improve its pass rush by adding Vic Beasley, formerly of the Falcons. His numbers are a bit puzzling. He led the league with 15.5 sacks in his second season back in 2016. Since then, he has posted 5, 5 and 8 sacks.

Those are not bad numbers, but they are clearly below expectations coming from a fellow that was the 8th overall selection in the 2015 draft. Also, he is a liability in run defense. In other words, he’s been more name than game recently.

Kamalei Correa racked up five sacks despite playing 39% of the snaps. He had just 3.5 sacks over his first three years as a pro. He’s not a game breaker.

Reggie Gilbert is a role player. The undrafted guy has 4.5 sacks in three years is no more than depth.

3.3 Linebackers (LBs)

Jayon Brown and Rashaan Evans are the leaders of this group. Based on draft status, Evans is supposed to be the superior player, but that wasn’t the case at all last year.

Evans received poor marks from PFF with a 47.6 grade; he obtained spot #74 out of 89 LBs. He struggled a lot in coverage and wasn’t that great rushing the passer. He does a fine job defending the run though.

As for Brown, his 68.8 PFF grade allowed him to finish as the 20th-best linebacker in the league. His sack total went from 6 in 2018 down to just one a year ago. The former fifth-rounder will try to bring that number back up this season.

Wesley Woodyard’s career is clearly on the decline. He lost his starting job, his PFF grades are falling, he’s 34 years old and he is now a free agent after the Titans failed to re-sign him.

3.4 Cornerbacks (CBs)

Adoree’ Jackson is the team’s number 1 CB. He was the 18th overall pick from the 2017 draft. Even though he has only two career interceptions, he is still a fairly solid coverage guy. He constantly ranks among the upper tier.

Logan Ryan played almost all defensive snaps last year and he filled the scoresheet more than ever in his seven-year career. He had career-highs in tackles (113), sacks (4.5) and forced fumbles (4). He also picked off four passes, his second-best performance.

Yet, he graded as an average corner by taking the 62nd rank out of 112 CBs because of ordinary run defense and coverage skills. The Titans couldn’t meet his salary demands, so he left via free agency.

Malcolm Butler finished once again in the middle of the pack among all NFL cornerbacks last year. The Super Bowl XLIX hero has seen his PFF grades decrease in each of the past three seasons, but he still manages to intercept 2-4 passes every year. He missed seven games last year with a broken wrist.

LeShaun Sims played 30% of the snaps, while producing poor play on the field. He’s never been a good corner, but he still found a new home in Cincinnati when the Bengals signed him in March.

The Titans took Kristian Fulton late in the 2nd round this year. Many reports suggest he’ll be an average NFL starter. He is best in man coverage due to his physicality. He lost the entire 2017 season when he was caught trying to tamper with a PED test sample, where he submitted a friend’s urine.

3.5 Safeties (S)

Kevin Byard is one of the league’s highest paid safety and he deserves it. He has 17 interceptions over the last three years. In those seasons, his PFF rankings were 4th, 3rd and 10th among close to 90 qualifiers.

Byard turned out to be a huge bargain as a former third-round pick out of Middle Tennessee State. Now 27 years old, there is no reason to believe his play will deteriorate in 2020.

Kenny Vaccaro is well known among fans, even though his play is not great. He probably gets recognition due to his former first-round status, but his best PFF grade was 66.7 back in 2013. Just to give you an idea, such a mark would have yielded him the #48 spot out of 87 safeties last year. And that was his best season.

Amani Hooker played 30% of the snaps last year as a rookie. The Titans had actually traded up to secure his rights during the 2019 draft. He did a decent job, but the jury is still out about the fourth-rounder’s future.

2020 VS 2019 DEFENSE

The Titans allowed the 12th-fewest points in the league last year. Should be expect better or worse play in 2020?

Jurrell Casey’s presence will be missed in a big way on the interior of the line. Also, not getting CB Logan Ryan back is hardly good news. Overall, he was an above-average corner who was constantly on the field and has been very durable in his career.

The only good addition is Vic Beasley. I feel like he’s overrated since his sack numbers are lower than what most people think and due to poor run defense, but he still has valuable pass rushing abilities.

Based on this information, I anticipate a small downgrade from this unit.

Final call (2020 vs 2019): Small downgrade

4. Regular Season Wins

According to sportsbooks, the Titans are expected to win 8.5 games this season. Should we bet the “over” or the “under”?

Here is the methodology I used in order to answer this vital question:

Here are the results:

Estimated Probability Sportsbook Odds ROI
OVER 8.5 WINS 50.9% FanDuel -110 -2.8%
UNDER 8.5 WINS 49.1% Pinnacle +129 +12.4%

Tip: Bet UNDER 8.5 wins
Return On Investment (ROI): +12.4%
Rank: 22nd-highest ROI out of 32 teams
Minimum odds required to bet (i.e. ROI = 0%): +104

Here are BetOnline’s point spreads for the Titans’ 16 regular season games:

Note: The “Best odds” from the table above were obtained after looking at 13 well-known online sportsbooks on May 18th, 2020.

I hope you found this article informative, I've got every NFL team covered so check out my other posts! Have a nice day!

Professor MJ
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Kickstarter Roundup: Mar 15, 2020 | 30+ Ending Soon (including: Viscounts of the West Kingdom + Tomesaga) & 25+ New This Week (including: Pax Pamir)

What this is:

This is a weekly, curated listing of Kickstarter board game projects that are either:
All board game projects meeting those criteria will automatically be included, no need to ask. (The occasional non-board game project may also sneak in!)
Expect new lists each Sunday sometime between midnight and noon PST.

Ending Soon

Project Info Players Backers Min / Avg Pledge Ends Comments
Dumpster Fire A fun and fast-paced card game of full of political scandals, treachery, conspiracy, and comeuppance! // Has raised $5,521 of $2,500 so far. (~220%) ☑ 3 - 8 158 $18 / $35 Mar 16 kicktraq bgg
Amazing Jungle Run Game Clever strategy game played with three dice and cards. Challenging and replayable fun for ages 12 and up. // Has raised $4,721 of $4,500 so far. (~104%) ☑ 1 - 4 74 $19 / $64 Mar 16 kicktraq bgg
VERDUN: STEEL INFERNO VERDUN: STEEL INFERNO: A fast playing card driven game on the epic battle of 1916. Illustrated by the famous WW1 cartoonist TARDI // Has raised €57,368 of €7,000 so far. (~819%) ☑ 2 - 2 577 $75 / €99 Mar 16 kicktraq bgg
The Ming Voyages and The March of Progress The Ming Voyages: A Game of Treasure and Conquest for 1 or 2 players. The March of Progress: A 2-player Strategic Micro-wargame // Has raised €23,542 of €12,500 so far. (~188%) ☑ 2 - 2 678 $20 / €35 Mar 16 kicktraq bgg
Astroforce: The Dice Game A solo and cooperative board game // Has raised £12,480 of £5,000 so far. (~249%) ☑ 1 - 2 281 $45 / £44 Mar 16 kicktraq bgg
Ghost Hunting! the Card Game A Card Game on SouthEast Asian Ghost Culture. // Has raised $2,974 of $2,500 so far. (~118%) ☑ 3 - 7 63 $22 / $47 Mar 17 kicktraq
PYRAMID QUARTET From the creators of Fluxx: 4 beautifully abstract standalone games that also expand Pyramid Arcade! // Has raised $60,905 of $20,000 so far. (~304%) ☑ ? - ? 1201 $20 / $51 Mar 17 kicktraq bgg
Hades Trap Hero Crawler game where you explore and outsmart other players ! Legacy campaign add-on available. Intégralement en Français et Anglais // Has raised €13,161 of €4,500 so far. (~292%) ☑ 2 - 4 418 $24 / €31 Mar 17 kicktraq bgg
Meeple Circus Giant Run Away to the Circus! Assemble your acrobats, circus animals and guest stars into a show-stopping performance. // Has raised $72,131 of $16,000 so far. (~450%) ☑ 2 - 5 540 $99 / $134 Mar 17 kicktraq bgg
JamSumo It's a flickin' dexterity game. Handmade, limited edition, wooden board game. // Has raised £13,136 of £500 so far. (~2627%) ☑ 2 - 4 202 $60 / £65 Mar 18 kicktraq bgg
Dr Mike's Times Table Board Game A Board Game to help make times tables practice fun! // Has raised $2,200 AUD of $1,250 AUD so far. (~176%) ☑ ? - ? 25 $34 / $88 AUD Mar 18 kicktraq
La Résistance! La Résistance! is an dice & card game that recreates leading a band of partisans during the World War II German occupation of France. // Has raised $9,604 of $6,000 so far. (~160%) ☑ 3 - 5 294 $20 / $33 Mar 18 kicktraq bgg
Rival Restaurants: Back for Seconds A board game about competitive restaurant owning. Use your chef's power, cook recipes, and lead your restaurant to gastronomical glory. // Has raised $237,988 of $15,000 so far. (~1586%) ☑ 2 - 8 4199 $20 / $57 Mar 18 kicktraq bgg #expansion #reprint
By Stealth and Sea A solitaire and cooperative game about the Italian human torpedo attacks during the Second World War. // Has raised $28,714 of $20,000 so far. (~143%) ☑ 1 - 3 518 $50 / $55 Mar 18 kicktraq bgg
Goetia: Nine Kings of Solomon A dark euro game where players will be contacting, conjuring and worshiping Demons! // Has raised kr180,405 SEK of kr166,000 SEK so far. (~108%) ☑ 2 - 4 424 $49 / kr425 SEK Mar 19 kicktraq bgg
Viscounts of the West Kingdom + Tomesaga Increase your influence across the kingdom in this unique deckbuilding-powered rondel strategy game for 1-4 players. // Has raised $1,005,025 NZD of $23,000 NZD so far. (~4369%) ☑ 1 - 4 6508 $53 / $154 NZD Mar 19 kicktraq bgg #dicetowerpick
The Last Bottle of Rum Raise your anchor and embark on a treasure hunt board game for 2 to 5 pirates. // Has raised €53,863 of €15,000 so far. (~359%) ☑ 2 - 5 1304 $47 / €41 Mar 19 kicktraq bgg
Gladius An award-winning board game about betting on and rigging the gladiatorial games. // Has raised $73,183 of $8,000 so far. (~914%) ☑ 2 - 5 2552 $25 / $29 Mar 19 kicktraq bgg
Ark Worlds: MOBA Card Game Choose your heroes wisely. Ark Worlds is a 2 player, MOBA card game of tactics and resource management that sets up in minutes. // Has raised $3,827 of $500 so far. (~765%) ☑ 2 - 2 139 $24 / $28 Mar 19 kicktraq bgg
Knight Tales A clever genre-mix for 1-4 knights cooperatively or semi-cooperatively standing against the hordes of evil. // Has raised €71,045 of €25,000 so far. (~284%) ☑ 1 - 4 1046 $50 / €68 Mar 19 kicktraq bgg
ERUNE Erune is a board game based on the classic dungeon crawler to which it adds a modern technology: a voice assistant (Artificial Intelligence). // Has raised €129,356 of €45,000 so far. (~287%) ☑ 2 - 5 1076 $99 / €120 Mar 19 kicktraq bgg
Forest Fighters Squirrels harvesting acorns for the winter and the resulting woodland mayhem that prospect causes! // Has raised $1,127 of $500 so far. (~225%) ☑ 2 - 5 30 $30 / $38 Mar 20 kicktraq #take2
Crazier Eights: Olympus A gateway fantasy card game featuring Greek mythology. // Has raised $2,444 of $500 so far. (~488%) ☑ 2 - 4 70 $15 / $35 Mar 20 kicktraq bgg
Dirty Politics A Game of Logical Deduction for Illogical Politicians! // Has raised $298 of $500 so far. (~59%) 5 - 10 18 $15 / $17 Mar 20 kicktraq
ANCHORMAN: THE GAME The official party game of Ron Burgundy and the Channel 4 news team. // Has raised $45,015 of $35,000 so far. (~128%) ☑ 2 - 8 985 $26 / $46 Mar 20 kicktraq
TopPick: A Party Card Game A party card game that allows players to hire each other for odd jobs, while the applicants sabotage each other with negative traits // Has raised $824 of $150 so far. (~549%) ☑ ? - ? 27 $25 / $31 Mar 20 kicktraq
ROBA Champion Edition The MOBA-inspired strategy card game returns with two expansions and a complete collected edition. 18 Heroes, over 800 Teams. // Has raised €17,116 of €15,400 so far. (~111%) ☑ 2 - 2 314 $31 / €55 Mar 20 kicktraq bgg #newedition #expansion
Public Market Catch, arrange and sell fish in this puzzly tile-laying game with beautiful art by Beth Sobel! // Has raised $21,186 of $8,000 so far. (~264%) ☑ 2 - 4 454 $39 / $47 Mar 20 kicktraq bgg
FINGERS, language independant edition the first game in the world to be played with fingers // Has raised €1,332 of €1,400 so far. (~95%) 2 - 6 61 $20 / €22 Mar 21 kicktraq bgg
WARCASTER: Neo-Mechanika The Supercharged Miniatures Wargame // Has raised $360,702 of $100,000 so far. (~360%) ☑ 2 - 2 1822 $70 / $198 Mar 21 kicktraq bgg
Hooch Stooges pledge for cartoon episodes and get the deck building game featuring all your favorite cartoon stooges // Has raised $1,299 of $2,000 so far. (~64%) 2 - 6 17 $24 / $76 Mar 22 kicktraq bgg
Ruins: Death Binder A Cooperative Deck Deconstruction Game For 1-2 Players set in the World of Ruins // Has raised $27,812 of $19,999 so far. (~139%) ☑ 1 - 2 750 $45 / $37 Mar 22 kicktraq bgg
The Digital Agency Game Run your own agency in this easy to pick up card game featuring over 100 unique cards. // Has raised £1,129 of £1,700 so far. (~66%) 2 - 6 52 $20 / £22 Mar 22 kicktraq bgg
Revenge of the Dodos An expansion of vengeful coopetition for the Beasts: Edge of Extinction tabletop game. // Has raised $581 of $200 so far. (~290%) ☑ 3 - 6 35 $9 / $17 Mar 22 kicktraq bgg #expansion #reprint

New This Week

Project Info Players Backers Min / Avg Pledge Ends Comments
Arena Legends A tabletop board game modeled after a PvP arena style combat system. Games are intended to be turn based, fast paced and sub 15 minutes // Has raised $56 of $500 so far. (~11%) 2 - ? 2 $25 / $28 May 01
Brotherhood & Unity A card driven war-game which depicts the war in Bosnia and Herzegovina from 1992-1995 // Has raised $7,415 of $2,000 so far. (~370%) ☑ 2 - 3 97 $56 / $76 Apr 09 bgg
Carrot Bunny Den A card game with big carrots, horny bunnies and sexy dens. Easy to learn but hard to master ! (ages 18+) // Has raised €484 of €5,000 so far. (~9%) ? - ? 25 $21 / €19 Apr 09 #nsfw
Cleocatra A clever light puzzle game for 2 to 4 players brought to you by the creative team of Cat Rescue and Cat Sudoku. // Has raised $4,854 of $3,000 so far. (~161%) ☑ 2 - 4 133 $12 / $36 Apr 11 bgg
Crass Humor A free-to-print board game. 1-4 player cooperative wargame that fits on 11 pages. // Has raised kr19 SEK of kr26,000 SEK so far. (~0%) 1 - 4 3 $83 / kr6 SEK Apr 13
Endless Skies Trading Card Game The new TCG Made in Germany! // Has raised €411 of €28,000 so far. (~1%) 2 - ? 14 $12 / €29 Apr 12
GALAXY DICE An Award-Winning Arcade Shooter Dice Game! // Has raised $6,155 of $4,000 so far. (~153%) ☑ 1 - 4 169 $23 / $36 Apr 09 bgg
Horseshoes and Hand Grenades Dexterity Card Game A card flipping game of immortal cartoon soldiers in comic bomb-and-bunker warfare. // Has raised $2,356 of $12,500 so far. (~18%) 2 - 4 25 $20 / $94 Apr 08
Juroku Musashi A stimulating and ancient Japanese board game from the Edo Era. // Has raised $70 of $26,000 so far. (~0%) 2 - 2 10 $25 / $7 Apr 13
Kingdoms: The Tabletop Game A resource-management, kingdom-building board game. // Has raised £68 of £15,000 so far. (~0%) 1 - 4 4 $68 / £17 Apr 13
Lie Detect Dare The game of Truth or Dare with a REAL working Lie Detector. We added structure and new game mechanics to the classic party game. // Has raised $1,860 of $17,800 so far. (~10%) ? - ? 29 $60 / $64 Apr 09
Lions of Lydia Curate a bag of meeples in this engine-building game by designer Jonny Pac about the dawn of currency in ancient Lydia. // Has raised $21,626 of $20,000 so far. (~108%) ☑ 2 - 4 388 $39 / $56 Apr 09 bgg
Monuments Play as one of 4 ancient civilizations and build your -3D- Monument faster than your rivals! // Has raised €5,651 of €20,000 so far. (~28%) 2 - 4 93 $77 / €61 Mar 27 bgg
Outta Our Shells The new super casual card game from Greg Johnson that helps people relax, laugh, and get to know each other better. // Has raised $17,042 of $10,000 so far. (~170%) ☑ 2 - ? 403 $20 / $42 Apr 09
Pax Pamir A second printing of the critically acclaimed game about power and politics in nineteenth century Afghanistan. // Has raised $223,789 of $10,000 so far. (~2237%) ☑ 1 - 5 4110 $70 / $54 Mar 27 bgg #reprint
PEACOCK BLOCK A hilarious 3-to-5-player "Take That" board game where players assume the role of peacocks at a raging party. // Has raised $2,122 of $7,250 so far. (~29%) 3 - 5 64 $20 / $33 Apr 10 bgg #take2
Project U A highly engaging remote team building activity described in a short book accompanied by slides, exercise handouts, and training plans // Has raised $781 AUD of $200 AUD so far. (~390%) ☑ ? - ? 27 $12 / $29 AUD Apr 07
Relax And Cats The best board game in the world or not. check it, check pls. // Has raised €2 of €22,300 so far. (~0%) ? - ? 2 $55 / €1 Mar 15 #lolwut
Robot Fight Club A game of card-fuelled customisable arena combat from the designers of Hellboy: the Board Game, League of Infamy and Blitz Bowl. // Has raised £5,006 of £20,000 so far. (~25%) 2 - 2 110 $37 / £46 Mar 31 bgg
Royal Ransack A cute dungeon building and pillaging card game for 1-4 players! // Has raised $723 of $12,100 so far. (~5%) 1 - 4 22 $20 / $33 Apr 08
Ruination Ruination is a 2-4 player game of post-apocalyptic conquest. Only the most resourceful horde will rule beside the Khan! // Has raised $31,781 of $45,000 so far. (~70%) 2 - 4 475 $70 / $67 Mar 26 bgg
Rumbbell FatDragon Invasion Rumbbell FatDragon Invasion is a deck building board game about Exercise and Fitness! // Has raised HK$7,680 of HK$233,125 so far. (~3%) 2 - 4 26 $51 / HK$295 Apr 01 bgg
Salt & Sail Follow the rumors, fend off pirates, and navigate through storms--all in the hopes of beating your opponents to fame and fortune. // Has raised $15,100 of $26,500 so far. (~56%) 2 - 4 184 $49 / $82 Apr 10 bgg
Stick Figure Melee A 3d printable game with quick set up, quick play, and lots of fun built right into it. // Has raised $57 of $100 so far. (~56%) 2 - 2 14 $3 / $4 Apr 08
Theurgy Take on the role of a half-forgotten god and compete for reverence in this deeply immersive area control game. // Has raised £7,603 of £32,700 so far. (~23%) 2 - 6 133 $73 / £57 Mar 31 bgg
Trepidation Horror Card Game // Has raised $739 of $800 so far. (~92%) 2 - 5 20 $25 / $37 Apr 13
Vampire: The Masquerade - Vendetta A competitive card game where you fight to conquer the role of Prince of Chicago as one of the vampire Clans of the Camarilla! // Has raised €101,407 of €40,000 so far. (~253%) ☑ 3 - 5 2209 $34 / €46 Mar 25 bgg
Victim: The Cursed Forest In the cursed forest, you and your friends have to find a way to survive from the evil that will possess anybody in your group. // Has raised $13,628 of $30,000 so far. (~45%) 1 - 6 95 $69 / $143 Apr 12 bgg

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If you enjoy these lists, maybe toss me a buck now and then. Signing up for a free AirTable account via my referral link can help, too. Plus, it's swell!
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I’m 31 years old, make $43,000, live in Lexington, KY, and work in State Government.

(I posted another MD here on the sub last July, so this is a follow up!)

Section One: Assets and Debt

Retirement Balance:
Savings account balance:
Checking account balance: $231.59
Credit card debt: $0. I paid off a 0% balance earlier in the month and now I’m trying to pay the balances as I use them. I’m trying to use them mainly for monthly charges and less for everyday spending. CC #1 is auto pay for internet, CC #2 is auto pay for Sirius XM radio (quarterly), CC #3 is auto pay for cell phone. I sometimes use CC #3 for everyday purchases, it gets good rewards, but I’m trying not to get sucked into the rewards vortex again.
Loan debt: $0. I made my last payment for my car loan and my last student loan in July 2018. I’ve been loan free since then!

Section Two: Income Main Job

Monthly Take Home: $2,350/month (minus all taxes and deductions). I get paid twice a month.
Side Gig Month Take Home: No recurring side gigs.
Any Other Monthly Income: None, just the main job take home.

Section Three: Expenses

Rent: $650/month
Renters Insurance: $152.20/year
Savings Contribution: $100/month to account A, $50/month to account B, $200/month to account C, and $300/month to account D.
Investment Contribution: Nothing beyond the 401k.
Donations: $5/month to alma mater, $8/month to local NPR station, and then usually $100/year in random other donations.
Electric: $47/month
Water: $27/month
Wifi: $38.59/month
Cellphone: $43.45/month (prepaid service, I bought my phone used last year)
Netflix: $9.80/month
Spotify + Hulu: $10.59/month
Extra Apple iCloud Storage: $0.99/month
SiriusXM: $42.19/quarter
NY Times Crossword: $42.35/year
Car Insurance: $553/six months

Day 1 - Thursday, 2/20
6:15 am - Rush around as I slept through (maybe snoozed) my alarm. I quickly blend up a smoothie I assembled last night (random greens, peaches, cherries, berries, spinach, and protein powder) and pack up my lunch: spicy pork noodles with peanuts, broccoli, an apple, a banana, and an orange. I also put a little half and half in a jar so I can make coffee at work. I rinse my face, put on Clinique moisture surge moisturizer, pop in some contacts, and brush my teeth. I toss my make up bag in my purse and run out the door.
7:40 am - Get to work a smidge late. I quickly put on some mascara (Tarte Gifted), Cover Girl loose powder, and a random Estee Lauder eyeshadow. I get to work on a project I’ve been working on all week. I also make a cup of coffee and drink my smoothie throughout the morning.
9:30 am - Break time. I make another cup of coffee and work on today’s crossword. Thursdays are always so tricky, so I don’t get too far. Also throughout the work day I listen to podcasts. Today’s line up is Armchair Expert (which I started last month so I’ve been catching up), Up First, and Terrible, Thanks for Asking.
10:00 am - I go ahead and make a credit card payment for my cell phone bill that just posted ($43.45, included in monthly expenses).
12:00 pm - Lunch time. I heat up my lunch and read today’s Money Diary. 99% of the time I bring lunch with me to work. I always eat it away from my desk, to give myself a little break.
12:30 pm - Back to work and more project. I also end up eating a mandarin orange cup (already had at my desk), the apple, and the banana that I packed sometime throughout the afternoon.
4:00 pm - Done with work. When I get back to town to stop at the pharmacy and pick up some prescriptions. I use my FSA card to pay. ($22.91)
4:50 pm - Back to my apartment. I unpack my lunch bag and my tote and try and tidy up a bit. Then I go full lazy and just plop on the couch. My friend N texts me about hanging out, we decide to snack and watch a movie.
6:30 pm - N texts me he’s headed home with the snacks and to come over whenever. I change into comfy clothes and grab a bottle of red wine and a couple ciders to contribute to the mix.
6:45 pm - Get to N and E’s house and there’s already a spread of snacks: chips, chips, more chips, tots, and more (I swear it wasn’t just potatoes, just don’t remember what else there was, haha). I have some wine with my snacks and we decide on “Uncut Gems” to watch. It is good, with a wild ending!
9:30 pm - I head home and try to get things ready for the morning. I do a sink full of dishes, grind some coffee, and pull out my blender to make a smoothie in the morning. Then I wash my face, put on a little Sunday Riley Good Genes, FAB Beauty Ultra Repair Cream, brush my teeth, and take my allergy medicine.
10:30 pm - Finally crawl into bed and work on a crossword for 10 minutes before I turn off the lights.
Total spent: $0

Day 2 - Friday, 2/21
5:15 am - Up with my alarm today. I hop out of bed and put away the clean dishes from last night, set up the electric kettle for coffee and then go take a shower.
5:30 am - After showering I put on a serum and Clinique moisture surge moisturizer. I also put a little ultra repair cream on my forehead (I have a very dry/sensitive spot there, I avoid putting most other products on it) and my nose, trying to keep my whole face happy is hard. I sit on the couch for a few minutes while I drink my coffee and watch the news. Eventually I get up, put in my contacts, put on mascara (Milk Kush), elf Primer Putty, Cover Girl concealer, Cover Girl loose powder, a shade from the Naked 3 palette, and a little swipe of the FAB Beauty ultra repair lip therapy.
6:15 am - I make a smoothie (greens, peaches, cherries, berries, and protein powder) and add some frozen broccoli to a stir fry I made earlier in the week. I pack both of those up with a mandarin orange cup, an apple, and a strawberry watermelon seltzer water. I get dressed, brush my teeth, make a cup of coffee to take with me, and tie up the garbage to take out.
6:40 am - It is freezing outside so I bundle up and grab all of my things to leave. I drop my garbage off as I walk to my car.
7:15 am - I mobile order Starbucks on my way to work so I swing by and pick it up. I got a grande Americano with a splash of cream and extra cinnamon powder. I loaded $30 onto my card in January so I use that to pay ($3.13 + $1.00 tip). I always go to Starbucks on Fridays as a way to celebrate the end of the week. I try and reload my card when a credit card has a cash back offer. CC #1 had a 5% back offer in January, which is why I reloaded then. CC #3 has the offer now, so I’ll probably use that one to reload when my balance runs out. I try not to go any other day, to keep it a treat-y thing.
7:30 am - Get to work and jump straight into it. I drink my Starbucks and get a cup of water. Today’s work podcast lineup is Up First, Armchair Expert, and Why Won’t You Date Me? I also eat a mini Hershey’s bar that I had in my desk.
9:30 am - Break time. I sip my smoothie while I attempt today’s crossword. I also help out a couple of coworkers.
11:30 am - I get up and my earring falls out. I realize I lost the back to it and I retrace my steps and my efforts are futile. I put the earring in my bag so I don’t lose it, but I leave the other one in.
12:00 pm - Lunch time. I heat up my food and, again, eat it while I read today’s Money Diary.
4:00 pm - Leave work.
4:50 pm - Back in town, and it’s happy hour time! I meet E and S at our usual spot. They have drink specials and food specials (always important). I get a glass of red wine, wings, and a side of french fries.
5:30 pm - Squeeze in another glass of wine before happy hour ends. We decide to all head back to E’s house and hang out after we finish up. $29.38 (including tip)
6:15 pm - We walk back to E’s house and enjoy more wine while we hang out.
7:30 pm - Oh no, another bottle of wine appears.
9:45 pm - Finally call myself a Lyft to head home. $7.00 (including tip, I had a promo code that made the ride a little cheaper)
10:00 pm - Home, and I’m so excited to see my couch. I change into comfy clothes and lounge on the couch. I end up finishing an episode of Armchair Expert and put on some old episodes of Catfish. I take out my contacts, swipe a little micellar water on my face, and quickly brush my teeth. I finally get into bed around midnight.
Total spent: $36.38

Day 3 - Saturday, 2/22
8:00 am - Not sure why I’m awake, but I take the opportunity to get up, drink some water, and brush my teeth. And then promptly get back in bed.
10:00 am - Ok, this seems more reasonable. Wash my face more thoroughly and moisturize. I move to the couch, with more water, and try and decide the best way to get back to my car. I contemplate a Lyft, but that seems excessive. I put on some more Catfish to entertain myself. Finally I manage to convince my friend to try a new restaurant with me, and then I’ll mooch a ride from them.
12:45 pm - We walk over to Roulay for brunch. It’s brand spanking new and this is their first brunch. It’s a pretty small menu, but everything looks delicious. We get beignets, coffee, fried alligator, waffles, and shrimp and grits.Everything is super delicious and we’re excited to come back and try everything else. $26.46 (including tip)
2:00 pm - Nicely get a ride back to my car and then drive back to my apartment. I do the dishes and continue the momentum by doing my laundry. My building has a washedryer in it and there’s no charge for them, it’s amazing. I do 2 loads of laundry while I catch up on my shows: Grey’s Anatomy, Law & Order SVU, Will & Grace, and probably more.
6:00 pm - Laundry done and put away (always an accomplishment). Shower happens too.
7:30 pm - Brunch really satisfied me and a full meal doesn’t seem appealing. I decide I need some food though, so I pour a bowl of cinnamon frosted flakes.
11:30 pm - Not quite sure what else I did tonight, nothing too productive though. Eventually brush my teeth and get in bed.
Total spent: $26.46

Day 4 - Sunday, 2/23
8:00 am - Wake up and lay in bed for a while. Get up and make the bed (I do this every morning). When I get up I make some coffee and drink it while I listen to yesterday’s episode of Up First. I put away the clean dishes and tidy up the kitchen, it can get so crowded and messy throughout the week.
9:00 am - Settle in to finally catch up on This is Us. There is so much happening this season.
12:45 pm - Motivate myself to run a few errands. I go to Joseph Beth to try and pick up a book I ordered for a friend’s new baby, but they cannot find it anywhere. They look through basically the whole store and are so flummoxed because it’s not where to be found. They offer to order it for me again, and of course I don’t pay for it because I prepaid for the first copy. It should be in in a couple days. I also stop by Target and return a part of a gift I didn’t end up using ($11.64 back on my card). For a brief second I contemplate looking around for things I don’t need, but I restrain myself and just walk back to the car. Drive over to Warby Parker and get my glasses adjusted. I got them a couple weeks ago and they’re a little loose, they keep sliding down my nose. I am in and out in 5 minutes with snug glasses.
1:45 pm - On my way home I decide that nachos would be delicious and I have no interest in cooking. I call in an order to go. I swing by and pick them up and head home. $13.28 (including tip)
2:15 pm - Enjoy my nachos while I watch more Catfish. I can never understand the people on this show, so much cringe.
5:00 pm - Get in the shower and use one of my favorite hair products (Virtue Restorative Treatment Mask). It smells so good and makes my hair feel amazing.
6:00 pm - I sit down to paint my nails, so of course I don’t touch anything for an hour afterwards just to preserve my nails. After they’re fully dry I eat the rest of my nachos.
11:00 pm - Again, the night is a blur. I set up things for coffee and smoothie in the morning, brush my teeth, and get in bed.
Total spent: $13.28

Day 5 - Monday, 2/24
6:00 am - Slow goings on Monday, of course. Start the coffee, rinse my face, put in contacts, put on FAB serum and moisturizer, and same makeup as usual. I make a smoothie (greens, grapes, peach, berries, and protein powder) and pack up my lunch and breakfast.
6:50 am - Make a coffee to go and hit the road.
7:30 am - Arrive at work. Drink coffee and smoothie, eat a mini Kit Kat too for good measure.
12:00 pm - Lunch time. My leftovers are pretty sad at this point, but I power through. I also drink a mini Diet Coke I brought from home.
12:30 pm - When I get back to my desk I eat a cup of mandarin oranges and a cup of diced mangoes.
2:30 pm - Break time, and enjoy some Thin Mints. I sound like all I did was eat this day, I swear there was work happening too!
4:00 pm - Get in my car to leave and my gas level is almost in the danger zone. I decide to chance it and get it when I get back to town.
4:30 pm - Roll up to the gas station almost on fumes. I fill up my tank. $14.00 Then I go to Kroger and get things for the week: cucumber, peppers, bananas, apples, spinach, blueberries,refried beans, turmeric spice tea, sleepytime time, coconut milk, pasta sauce, lentils, cheese (ricotta), cheese (parmesan), more cheese (queso fresco), frozen broccoli, frozen orange chicken, frozen meal, toilet paper, and vitamins. $56.28
5:20 pm - Get home and put away the groceries and make the frozen orange chicken for dinner. I also make some rice to serve it over. It’s pretty good.
7:30 pm - Head to trivia a little early so I can watch Jeopardy before. I order a beer when I get there.
8:00 pm - My trivia partner arrives! We do pretty well the first half. I order another beer during the second half.
10:00 pm - We place! Our betting strategy pays off. We split the winnings and I end up adding the tip to my balance. $11.00
10:15 pm - Back home. I take a quick shower, brush my teeth, and do the sink full of dishes. Then, bed.
Total spent: $81.28

Day 6 - Tuesday, 2/25
3:40 am - Wake up very confused and thinking I overslept. I look at the time and almost immediately fall back asleep.
6:00 am - Now, up for real. I rinse my face off, put on some moisturizer, put in contacts, put on makeup, and brush teeth. I pack up lunch, chips and salsa leftover from the to go food on Sunday, mango cup, banana, and apple.
6:50 am - Hit the road.
7:30 am - Get to work and immediately make a cup of coffee.
9:30 am - Eat the chips and salsa for breakfast. Weird choice, put delicious. Also make another cup of coffee. Today’s podcasts are Up First and Armchair Expert.
11:15 am - Someone says they’re getting pizza for lunch and I’m easily persuaded. I get a personal pan pizza and drink. I don’t have any cash on me, but I’ll hop down to the ATM later.
12:00 pm - This pizza is delicious and so much better than my sad, old packed lunch.
2:30 pm - I head to the ATM with the intent of getting cash but it says they’re going to charge me an additional $2 charge, which seems silly. (Later I looked into this and my bank would have reimbursed me for this fee, in addition to the standard “not their ATM fee.” So next time I’ll just get the money, knowing I’ll be reimbursed for the fees.) Instead I tell my coworker I’ll pay them back tomorrow. Of course they say that’s fine, so I set myself a reminder to stop by my bank’s ATM. I also go ahead and email Allure Beauty Box to cancel my subscription. I prepaid for a 3 month subscription in December, but I have no need to continue. I already have way too many things to get through. I did get a lot of good products from the 3 boxes I got though, plus they always release full spoilers way in advance so you know if you’ll like it or not.
4:00 pm - Time to head home. When I get home I unpack my bags and get into comfortable clothing.
5:30 pm - I heat up leftover orange chicken and rice and add some frozen sauteed kale to the bowl. I also pack up the rest of the leftovers for lunch tomorrow. I forgot to thaw the ground beef lasagna roll ups I was going to make for lunches, so this will do. I also go ahead and put the ground beef in the fridge so I can make them tomorrow.
7:00 pm - I watch Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy, one of my favorite nightly activities.
8:00 pm - I read a little of A Selfie as Big as the Ritz by Lara Williams. I really enjoyed Supper Club so I decided to give this a try. So far it’s good. I got it from the library. If you’re not a member of your local library, join now!
9:00 pm - Take my make up off, wash my face, use some Bare Essentials serum I got in my last Allure Box, FAB Ultra Repair Cream, and random eye cream. I floss (finally finished this thing of floss!) and brush my teeth.
10:15 pm - Not feeling super tired so I make some tea. I laugh a little that I’m drinking my sleepytime tea from a Cafe du Monde mug, not exactly a wild Fat Tuesday over here. I do wish I had eaten some beignets today though.
11:00 pm - Finally crawl into bed.
Total spent: $0

Day 7 - Wednesday, 2/26
6:00 am - Wake up and start the coffee. I rinse my face, put on some FAB serum and moisturizer, and brush my teeth. Then I get dressed, pack up my leftovers and a mango cup, make the coffee to go, and head out the door. I leave a couple minutes early so I can swing by the ATM.
6:45 am - Swing through the ATM and get cash out for yesterday’s pizza. $6.00 I realize as I’m pulling out of the ATM that I forgot to put on any jewelry before I left the house. This feels strange.
7:30 am - Get to work, give the cash to my coworker, and get to work.
9:30 am - I’ve already had a delicious breakfast of Girl Scout cookies (Thanks A Lots), so I make another cup of coffee. I work on today’s crossword and, quite frankly, crush it.
12:00 pm - Lunch time. I eat and read MDs.
2:30 pm - Aimlessly peruse Sephora’s website to see if there’s anything I need. Surprise, there is not. Why do I do this to myself!?
4:00 pm - Leave work. On the commute home I hear there’s an accident that may affect my route.
4:30 pm - Get right into town and already see traffic. I make this so much harder on myself and attempt to try another path.
5:15 pm - Everyone else had the same idea. I try another route and I just keep getting stuck and frustrated. I feel so trapped in this mess of traffic. I know everyone else is too, but still. I silently rage and get myself on another path.
6:30 pm - I almost cry as I finally walk through my front door. Not being in control of my situation is so maddening to me. I pour myself a glass of wine from a box I have and sit on the couch. I read about the accident and see there were multiple fatalities and now I feel like a dunce. I remind myself to be thankful that I’m here in one piece and let a little chaos go.
7:00 pm - Watch Wheel of Fortune and contemplate dinner. I had big, big plans to roast veggies for tacos for dinner tonight, make lasagna rolls for lunches, and chop up veggies for snacks. That is not happening now. Instead I opt for a bowl of buttery, cheesy pasta. I watch jeopardy while I eat.
10:30 pm - Wash my face, put on some retinol and moisturizer, brush my teeth, and get in bed. I read a little and play solitaire on my phone before I fall asleep.
Total spent: $6.00

Weekly Total Spent: $163.40
Food + Drink: $102.02
Fun + Entertainment: $40.38
Home + Health: $0
Clothes + Beauty: $0
Transport: $21.00

Reflection: This week seems pretty average. I spend most of my money on food and drink. I don’t usually eat out 3 times in one weekend, so that’s a little odd. I try to limit my work week spending so I can splurge a little on weekends. This has really shown me that I need to look more into my pension! It’s such a hard system to log into that I normally ignore it, but I need to plan quarterly reviews of it, just to keep tabs of it. Since I got rid of my CC debt, I’m hoping to really build up my emergency fund and then start living on last month’s income (keep enough in my account for 1 month worth of expenses). I am a total numbers nerd and if my calculations/budgets are correct this should happen by the end of the summer.
submitted by kykolonel to MoneyDiariesACTIVE [link] [comments]

Slashdiablo's official player ranking 2020 part 2

Official Slashdiablo player ranking
We will reveal our top 100 list based on data gained from the past ladders. Some players have been scrapped from the list due to cheating, such as Swisher,ExaltedOne, Roy, and others.
Lets begin our list from bottom to top. This is part 2 of part 2
©2020 trademark Bunnyhopper131
A fight with DanitoBamito gives the participating players an opportunity to show the true personality of both DanitoBamito and themselve. To be successful in it, one must degrade to DanitoBamito's level and confirm its effectiveness. He is truly an iconic slashdiablo player and there are few players that have not been in direct contact with him. Apart from Meanski, DanitoBamito is probably the 2nd most famous player of slashdiablo. He is not 'that' famous for his diablo game mechanics, his paladin travincal runs early seasons are rather fast and praised for. It was a shocking news that in the season of 2019 he had an accident which for privacy reason we wont go in full details, but his left arm got damaged when he had that car accident. As a result he cannot play diablo for an extended amount of time anymore, effectively eliminating him from achieving any higher rank. He posted on SNS that he will only play 3 April season for 2 days then quit.
Just how did Mikemanson managed to kill ubers in just 2:30 of game time? Well most of us experienced players already know that because Mikemanson has posted many videos and guides throughout the ages of time on the reddit. Please PM this player for hints and tips as his days of competitive player is over, he mainly coaches on his gaming stream these days. We appreciate what you have done for us community.
The question whether the toxic behavior came from the switch to softcore in the last few seasons of slashdiablo or whether the increasing number of toxic players brought out the toxicity of him remains unanswered. One thing is for sure. He belongs on the top 5 most toxic slashdiablo players. Closely watching the data, we see that he has had the most success with a sorceress. We'd recommend going for teleport sorceress this upcoming reset.
Most slashdiablo players would have been condemned for making a hammerdin on the back of enchanting tactics such as maxing enchant and using other players to gain an increase in levels quickly. But in anubis2019 case, both his play and circumstances were so extraordinary that slashdiablo has given him the benefit of the doubt. He quickly became a competitive player with his paladin rising through the ranks fast. He should learn however to not only rely on other players to carry him.
As it turns out, Slashdiablo can make local heroes, but it doesn't maintain them. Having done many events such as organised ironman since 2016, homeless3 experiences have become a harsh parable about how quickly new heroes will emerge to try and devour the old. Not only do people not know him anymore, more and more players are entering the server. homeless3 we remember and so do your teammates which who you have ran organised ironman's with and 'fake ladder resets'. You used to be a competent player but age gets the best of us all. We understand. Pick an easy class such as Amazon for continual success.
None of the inexperienced players were able to take on the fight with ghostofone3, their efforts were only to gain motivation to push further and stop anyone from overtaking him, as ghostofone3 is a seasoned veteran that will do anything to keep his spot on the ranks. Our piece of advice, keep playing like this. Get more familiar with the necromancer class, as this one is very good in the current meta, which you refuse to explore and use.
Jerrymaguire has continued to be a lens through which to see the shifting slashdiablo ranking dynamic. It's as if his single person represents an entire generation of slashdiablo players. Jerrymaguire has a rather tricky playstyle to copy therefor hard to master and hard to rate. He seems very familiar with the Barbarian class. Among items received from other players he seems to be very high up there, which might explain why he is able to spike through the ranks so quickly, and nobody wants to play these odd classes, he'll get the benefit of the trash. As Samuel l jackson once said in his movie "Another man his junk is another his treasure". Keep on playing
Around this time of year, we tend to take a step back and think about things in a historical context, wondering where one of our most famous necromancer of slashdiablo history went. Obvious, our attention first goes to his well written and famous necromancer guide, the players who might want to mimic his playstyle search for Pixstyx Necromancer guide on our subreddit and you'll find it.
d2d2 is a world class entertainer who had a wide range of audience of players. Yet, he tends to scale off after a week and quickly becomes what is called a slashdiablo meme. Whenever we see our data and d2d2, we are suprised as to why people praise him that high in skill. although his viewers are mostly somewhat 'inexperienced' and 'vocal' players we do see why this misconception about him has been scemed. Does this mean he only gives bad advices? No, infact he is an average player but the advice that he gives is solid for new players. He just lacks to skill to show them on his broadcasting show.
Diablo is a game form that is widely known in the US and China it is one of the primary reasons TheEscapizt plays the game. CSing account for the vast majority of hours during the season. Several aspects of MFing are extremely valuable such as Andariel runs, Lower Kurast Superchest runs. TheEscapizt has most of his hours in those 3 aspects. Which makes him a very threat to anyone that tries to get a high rank. This player tends to perform better solo than with a team. Therefor we recommend him going solo next season or with 1 other partner. Keep the number of other players in game as low as possible. His inferior complex makes him difficult to work together with.
We all remember that famous screenshot of czartaylor where he pulled out nearly six unique items from a single chest. barely having played much that ladder he had found a very wealthy amount of unique items. As you might have guess he was running Lower Kurast runs, He farmed till he had a full Tal Rasha set, then he went to proceed and farmed andariel and mephisto. Unfortunately, what holds czartaylor back is his quest on getting experience and rising up the ranks. His high speed mf runs carries him through a well deserved rank 39.
Shakka is not one of the first slashdiablo players. There had been hundreds if not thousands prior to this. However, currently his rapid pace of improvement has been noticed and many players want to know how his skills will be in the next upcoming seasons. We'd expect great results, as we only have very little data to fall back on, we recommend going blizzard sorceress this season.
It's easy to get caught up in the Greencarrot buzz. Greencarrot the most toxic player is a kind of story we've heard many times before Slashdiablo, and we're not seeing anyone more toxic than him yet. And, ofcourse, we hope that our community stays as toxic free as possible. But it's worth thinking back to those days where Greencarrot was an active member of the slashdiablo community. Not only can we learn from his behavior we can also prevent us from ever trying to follow his footsteps. Another member KPS of the slashdiablo community is getting dangerously close to Greencarrot level of toxicness. Greencarrot however is a much more competent player, and has proven this by finding a decent amount of high runes over the course of his stay.
Many of the top diablo players, with high ranks in previous seasons have given a praise towards NinjaInSpandex,represent farming skills both in the boss and in chest techniques. His successes during his stay relies on a simultaneous application of the dominant cow running techniques and getting a headstart from lesser experienced players by claiming a spot in a ladder reset group. As such we recommend he sticks to his game and goes Amazon next season.
Since Slashdiablo came to prominence in mainstream diablo reddit in 2014, and with their sister server in 2015, no servers have presented significant competition, and one of the reasons is draggon3. He made a particularly well written reddit post on the diablo reddit that attracted many people. regarded as having the most influence on our spike in popularity.Professional gamers usually get contracts after such an achievement, however he has time and time again refused it as he said 'it was just to get more people to play, nothing more'. We'd still like to take this opportunity to get him on board the moderator team.
shlshh22 actually came within a fairly decent lenght of reaching the top 16 rank of season 2019, reaching a staggering rank 22 on sorceress. shlshh22 has still a lot to learn, but his overal game mechanics carries him over other players. His mouse accuracy is what gives him a lot of speed over other players. We recommend him to avoid using druid this season as druid tends to not benefit from his mouse accuracy. Also, stop clicking on your health bowl each time you enter a game. You can enable this by default by going to the config.xml and edit this to value 'always show=true'
It's rare in Slashdiablo that we get an immediate 'wait, was that for real?' check on demand. In this case, we cleaned off our glasses and saw that Death was, indeed, for real his nickname on slashdiablo. Even if Death wasnt cool enough of a nickname, he tops it with his outstanding outclassing performance with early ladder necromancer skeleton corpse explosion play. it was confirmation enough for us players. Keep up slaying enemies!
Commonly also referred to as the Kennedy of Deconstructed Keepsake, the nickname is so unique due to the fact that KDK spelled backwards still remains the same identity of this player.It is actually the side you see in full bloom never has it departed from the core essence. You might see this player often in public games, as this player is generally considered a 'trusted' player. He did not have any scandals after his shocking 2013 season Jah rune steal that dropped during a public baal run in hell, while he was leeching with his level 39 sorceress. Therefore we can say with great joy that this player has learned from his mistakes and adapted for a better future. You can also see this reflecting on his gaming skills.
The first documented data of the name qourlite was in a competitive season. The term qourlite gained popularity when he did public cs + baal runs. Back at that season players casually referred those runs as qourlite runs. One of the biggest players in slashdiablo hosted and reprinted the name and used it for a good while. The first use of the term by the public was in 2016, when Craussie used it as a mocking joke in the public chat channels.
preparation alone can't possibly explain everything about Bigfatty success. After all, if Bigfatty was so great at preparation, then why did his peers spend the entirety of season 2017 behind him in ranks? The answer is within his superb gameplay while using the hammerdin. Once he gets enigma, his experience per minute goes through the roof. Not many can keep up with him, which therefore he is placed at a highly rank 30.
instead of regressing back into the middle of the pack, Nirst took major strides forward as a player in 2018. With a high finish rank as one of the strong players of the year. Nirst has been rather dissapointing these last few seasons. When will he go back to his insane 2018 form?
Bro, a player with so-so results in 2019, but of unimpeachable reputation. Whether it be his unique nickname or his fast paced druid gameplay, he is pretty popular among other players. Having survived many seasons as one of the better druid players he has very consistant top finishes for druids. It would be pretty cool if he'd pick up a role with more potential like a paladin. Yes this was a free subtle advice.
undeniable that Uee results were shocking in a good way since his performance back in the day. Some of that is due to good class picks and good teammates, as Uee is deciding to once again face other players in the ranking race, he is looking to do just that during the upcoming 3 april 2020 season. Uee was a very good sorceress user, and we suggest to continue on that path. Goodluck to Uee and the players trying to compete with Uee.
Nowadays MFing in the cow level are one of the most popular and the fastest developing MF areas presented on the server. Kory is one of the early adapters and has been gaining a lot of success over the course of the seasons. Kory is one of the few users that uses hammerdin to clear cows early in the ladder, we'd expect many runes from the season 3 april 2020.
Looking back on the one-year reign of Kerm as top assassin makes you realize how much Kerm's season 2018 has distorted our perception and standards of assassins. Just like many others on the list there appears to be a pattern with the cow level. Kerm uses assassins early ladder to farm cow levels, which was very unheard of before his grand appearance. If you need a high level rune early in the season, your best bet is to add Kerm to your friendlist, try to befriend him and then try to ask him to trade him the high level rune for one of yours. Many of us confuses Merk with mrek, who joined us in 2017, they are 2 different players...
Let's go back to that season 2014, which was a major component of the raler hype at the time. Before raler was even considered a 'good player',he had already have ton of experience competing in the diablo ranks. In a surprising turn of events, the raler managed to make it through the top 8 on his first attempt on slashdiablo. It might have been a fluke as he hasnt been performing on the level that he once was. Or has competition been harder? raler, you have been with us for years you have already exceeded most of our expectations, but we would like you to play paladin this season.
The string of slashdiablo seasons continued, with jovar3's absense as a player, jovar3 used to be pretty popular in the community as a solid barbarian player. However we are still sad that jovar3 has left us since that day. Players please let us remember the player who he was.
The fight for the top ranks confront players with a need to master multiple techniques used in different styles of magic finding and leveling. Depending on the preferred techniques used during a season, players can be divided into the so-called noobs and experts. On our list LivEisJeebus is the first of the so called experts. he has an insane clear speed in the cow level. LivEisJeebus is a player legend and should not need many words to describe his legend status. If you want to learn how to do cow runs. Please send him an email.
Two weeks later after adding the multiple server we got something close to the exact opposite result. Right off the bat, sicklyfish show little to none improvements in gameplay. At the time, sicklyfish was widely praised as the best player but with huge ping handicap. We expected him to skyrocket the ranks, but he has not really showed any signs of improvements. We'd like to think he was saving it for next 3 april 2020 season. If he still doesnt show us his true performance we might have expected too much of him.
In the ongoing season of 2019, SpankTrain finished #2 in the standings and was just one rank away from toppling #1 at Barbarian ladder to be known as number 1 Barbarian. He impressed many outside the race as well, having received high praises from players outside the race pool he has made a promise to us on his SNS that he will show us performances to reach #1 in 3 april 2020 season next upcoming.
This whole multiple server experiment has been a giant test of faith, as Xum slowly begins to fade away after the introduction it might have been clear that competition might have been to rough after this big change. Players that were getting hold back because of ping handicap started to out rank him. He tried to play it clever and stopped after the experiment, but the competing players knew it all along. His peak of his skills are just not good enough to rank him higher.
After unleashing his potential by becoming the first moderator to ever top spot a ranking list, Meanski went on to dissapoint all expectations by going on hiatus the following seasons. His performances against top tier players continued to be a memorable moment of history. The server is waiting for his comeback in 3 april 2020 season. Meanski has stated that he was busy with his son and 2 daughters the last few seasons therefor he was not able to compete. Now that his son has left the house to live on his own his PC has more free time than ever. Having made the promise to comeback next 3 april 2020 season we are waiting in full exciting posture for his performance. We are expecting him to play paladin and make atleast top 10 in the ladder. His rank in the rankings has fallen off due to lack of play. We might see him higher on the ranks next ladder.
While you may enjoy the pretty beauty colours of red, yellow, and pink in the river of flame , you may not be so quite to send Craussie of this particular river of flame to your friends since it actually conveys the warning of beware. As we all know Craussie has been only farming in the river of flame area for many seasons. He has much respect and success from us players for his consistant and stubborn behavior. Craussie can you tell us what the best way to run river of flame is? start from Waypoint City of the Damned or start from Waypoint river of flame?
While Rufi0000 had been hyped as a rising prospect on the ladder, no one could have expected how well he'd perform once he actually sat down to play in the multiple server enviroment. At first, he looked like a token player there to hand out free items, gifting shako's this seasons to finding ber runes. He has a large amount of luck on his side. Most of his success comes from mephisto running. Rufi0000 is considering writing a guide on how to kill mephisto easily while using a secret trick.
The beauty of diablo is that sometimes, a single player can be all that it takes to inspire us, and overcharge our realistic expectations with blind hope. In the case of toepin, that transformative play came when he introduced us to the rune farming against ghosts in the arcane sanctuary area. he has found around 6 high runes after just 2 days of the reset. Some people have reported him as botter although this has no evidence to back it up. He has shared in global chat that he does it by farming ghosts and not by breaking the rules and being seduced to botting.
Players of some sort have been around for millennia. It is unknown when questbugging was first used to keep the drops better, but it is likely that the first true questbugging started with jux3. Derived from the battle.net enviroment for centuries and was expertly optimised by jux3. jux3 knows all the tips and tricks when it comes to questbugging. Please message him for advice.
Stungan's Slashdiablo journey carries with it all his experience from the past seasons. For Stungan and slashdiablo, his success validated that diablo in the slashdiablo enviroment is all about skill and knowledge. Stungan used to play amazon in the early seasons, but later once he has all the items he switches to necromancer to full exploit his skill. Stungan prefers a slow but safe playstyle.
Just a few weeks after being accussed by KPS on slashdiablo, Kujah3 headed into exile to compete with players on battle.net. The year hit 2019 with Kujah3 living up to and exceeding all of his hype by placing a out standing top 10 finish. Next sesaon 3 april 2020 has a similarly important turning point, as Kujah3 is prepared to gather all of his energy into 1 final season. He might go back to b.net after this as this enviroment has been a toxic experience for him because of KPS. We'd like to give a reminder that we will take action upon toxic behavior.
After slashfap said he was willing to race to a high level on barbarian with him reaching the top of hardcore ladder he died... and didn't have much motivation to compete again, he followed that up by saying he was just joking about reaching the last achievement. Whether that is true or whether he was just being a salty player is up to him. He has however impressed many people with his performance. We are going to suggest him to make a sorceress 3 april 2020 season. All his player traits amplifies the sorceress playstyle.
Some of the most important moments of slashdiablo belong to him—he who leveled an assassin and paladin to level 99 in a fast time. Yet, as time has passed and seasons have faded out of existence, his deeds have ended up becoming obscure historic details, only talked about by the most obsessive fans on slashdiablo. He is however a very strong contender although he is a bit overrated by most people. According to the data he falls just short of the following players to come.
In mixed-region servers, raiob's resume—or that of any of the non-US representatives from the planet earth does not compare to that of raiob. Just this season, raiob has achieved multiple achievements. With atleast more than 4 characters on his name he is someone to consider putting in the top 10 ranking. raiob said on his radio interview back in 2018 that he used to play only sorceress because this is the best class to learn the game and play the fastest, he said it is a stepping stone that everyone need to master before moving on to other classes, get your game mechanics right before doing mindless of average MF runs. raiob goodluck next 3 april 2020 season.
In 1980, Slashpanda created his first ever computer mouse, called Computer Mouse Super, which was later renamed SuperUser mouse v3. Blizzard has made several diablo mouses and one of them at display was Slashpanda's mouse. However, in 2006 blizzard passed a bill prohibiting the use of the 'SuperUser mouse v3' this was due to its unfair advantage back at that time. in 2014 when mouses became more standarized and on par with each other has blizzard revoked the prohibiting bill and is usable on the official servers again. Slashpanda has been vocal about using the mouse between 2006 and 2014. However he stated that he played mostly on slashdiablo with it, which did not have any rules about unfair mouse usages. Wether it was his mouse or his skills, Slashpanda is a very competent player that is better than most players.
awf appeared in the late season sixteen, combining several global styles of sorceress usage, including Lighting and Blizzard builds. In turn, awf went on to greatly influence modern diablo. His flexibility of using other characters other than the sorceress has prevented him from going up higher in the list. His sorceress usage is atleast in the top 4 of slashdiablo users. We'd recommend sticking with sorceress in 3 april 2020 season.
Travincal and Cow level was becoming well-established. Previously, it was difficult to see returns from running these areas. The tenacious work of clearing travincal and cow level during the early parts of the season has made these areas very uncommon so early. muse's development of the building your character with items easily and quickly has risen in high popularity. muse is a strong believer in using spirit on the earliest as possible option till late game. through his detailed guide that was posted back in 2015 many people have found a very easy way to gear the character and make it ready for difficult areas such as Travincal and Cow level.
Trying to play diablo while being drunk feels more like a foregone conclusion than any previous year. The best version of Hedgehog is remarkable as he could cut through all the randomness, chaos, and noise to achieve what the best player often fails, and that is playing while under the influence of alcohol and (not always) drugs. First a disclaimer, we do not encourage the use of drugs and alcohol and advise to completely seperate diablo and alcohol and drugs. Hedgehog however is the best during early ladder resets, while his competition is slowly being drained from exhausting Hedgehog is still going strong on the drugs. He tends to scale off after each day as alcohol and drugs have a permanent damage that they leave behind. How many more seasons we'll have with Hedgehog is unknown but we'll know that he is one of the best early players.
This player has been famous for being so selfish and stubborn he really does things his own way. You cannot however ignore the skills that he brings to the ladder for slashdiablo. You'll have to get used to his sometimes harsh and strange words. Here is another quote from him when KPS tried to insult him by playing weird builds. “You are the shuckiest shuck faced shuck in the world!” “I'm unpredictable, I never know where I'm going until I get there, I'm so random, I'm always growing, learning, changing, I'm never the same person twice. But one thing you can be sure of about me; is I will always do exactly what I want to do." Keep on playing you are among the top players and nobody can take that away.
If filosofy is to be spun into yarn in the slashdiablo 180 lb bales of a Jah rune seller, then filosofy is often referred to as a rich madman because it is rich from baalruns. filosofy publicly announced that he wanted to learn from the best back in 2014, he has spent exactly 2 years streaming his gameplay on gaming broadcasting sites of him improving every aspect of the game. Having surpassed his mentor in raler he went on to becoming a top 3 ranked player. Name any class or any build and he will show you how to play like a professional diablo player.
His play during his prime was technically and theoretically sound, possessing a strong baseline gameplay mechanic and mixing in an almost scientifically calculated ratio of sorceress actions to keep opponents honest. Quietly, he's been one of the most consistent players in slashdiablo. Many players have tried to match his playstyle and most players cant keep up. Having received an invitation from moderators to join the moderator team he has been considering joining them. He stated in the public chat that he doesnt want to join the moderator team as his attention towards diablo would decline and would result in a loss in performance. We suggest that you play sorceress in 3 april 2020.
grover heads into the early season 2019 as the favorite to achieve an even more historic event. No player has ever achieved a level 99 character on all characters, yes ALL characters. We were closely monitoring his stats and data and can confirm that he is still the highest skilled player that slashdiablo has to offer. There are rumors that his next achievement will be a level 99 SC and HC in the same ladder, no one has ever achieved this. As grover is the only player that would have a chance of achieving this we are waiting patiently for him to pick up the game again. In his latest interview he told us that he has no plans yet when he wants to achieve this feat. We are hoping that 3 april 2020 season is the season he might achieve this. grover is also one of the few players that does not rely on help of others, he knows how to adapt in all circumstances. Secretly we hope he does not achieve all his diablo goals to keep seeing him play diablo on slashdiablo server. We have known him since the beginning and as good as he was in the early days he has only been growing stronger and stronger each season. Give him any classes and he'll beat you in the ranks vs the class of your choice, also is the most likable player in slashdiablo. grover is the player that truely shines the 'form is temporarily class is forever', 'The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires but in how much knowledge and skill he possesses', 'success will come by looking forward and learn from past mistakes', 'becoming the best player in slashdiablo is not guarding yourself from players, becoming the best is by being accepted by all players'
conclusion And there you have it, our #1 player still remains strong. there has been a shift in the ranks especially at the lower ranks, as new talent flows through old talents fade away.
We wish all the players good luck in the next season.
submitted by Bunnyhopper131 to slashdiablo [link] [comments]

Meditations on Week 15 NFL Losses

You wake up, not in a cold sweat, but in a hot shame. Your daughter’s crying at 2:57 AM, so you put her on her changing station and throw away the old diaper. You shake your head as you recall writing “$0.00 – sorry, the Redskins didn’t cover” on the tip line of your restaurant receipt, and you consider the merits of trading places with the discarded diaper.
The ESPN highlights from last night play in your mind like colorized footage of bombing runs on cityscapes from World War 2. It’s dark in the nursery, and the baby is crying. She’s pounding the changing station the same way you pounded the table when the Falcons recovered a fumble in the endzone to tilt the score above your under bet.
Suddenly, she stops, and in a single moment the tantrum and the tears are completely silenced. Did her neo-natal mind reach a revelation? Was she already smart enough not to take Jared Goff on the road, even against a spiraling Cowboys team? She clears her throat, and it feels like a moment before her first words. The silence reaches a crescendo, and you’re afraid she’s going to condemn you for devastating her college fund with her first words.
Hands outstretched in breathless anticipation, a strange confidence comes over you. It reminds you of the confidence you felt when you took Hodges to have 3 or fewer INTs in your player props. Then, a tremendous fart erupts.
Nothing oozes like a shit.

Phase I: Denial
It didn’t happen. The Raiders didn’t heartbreak their home faithful in the last game Oakland will ever see against a road Jaguars team that had lost six straight. (The Jags hadn’t won since October!) The Titans didn’t lose to the Texans, who got beat at home last week by the Broncos, 38-24. (Carlson missed two late field goals!) The Arizona Cardinals didn’t score 38 points when they’ve only scored more than 30 once this season. (How did the refs escape Oakland Coliseum with their lives?)
Home favorites are 47-81-5 ATS. How is that reality?
It didn’t happen.

Phase II: Anger
Fuck the slate this week. From the predictable Patriots win to Eli Manning beating the Dolphins, and the media treating it like he just slayed Tom Brady in the Super Bowl for a third time. That asshole barely breaks in the top 3 quarterbacks to have the name Manning, and they want to talk about his hall of fame candidacy?
Fuck the Jets for rolling over so predictably in a primetime game. Fuck the Bengals for tanking so apparently so they can acquire Joe Burrow just to trade him to another team that knows what the fuck they’re doing 2 seasons down the road from now. Fuck the Panthers for the backdoor cover in a non-division game that didn’t mean shit to them. Fuck the Bears for losing and not making the playoffs, ruining another future bet that looked so right. Fuck the Broncos for their horse-faced GM – Never has a quarterback’s face looked more like the team he represented* – Fuck the Titans for blowing such an obvious home smash spot. Fuck the Redskins for blowing the game, the spread, and the future in the same ham-fisted fumble. Fuck the Browns for losing what should have been a Baker Mayfield revenge game - No wonder Kingsbury didn’t start you, cuz. You suck. – Fuck the Chargers for Jekyll and Hyding again between last week’s 45-10 win on the road and today’s 39-10 loss at “home” – Rivers has a field goal’s worth more kids than playoff wins. Fuck the Super Bowl hungover Rams, and that’s all they deserve. Fuck the 49ers for looking tremendous against the Ravens and the Saints, only to come home and collapse like Weekend at Bernie’s. Fuck the Steelers for their dogged determination in the face of Vietnam-esque casualties. And fuck the Raiders anyway. Fuck those 53 assholes, and the sorry division they belong to. Fuck the AFC West, led by Patrick Mahomes and his Kermit the Frog voice. Fuck the AFC altogether, and then throw in the NFC for good measure. Fuck the impotent league commissioner, who has only made the game slower, softer, and outright worse. Ironic because players have only grown faster, stronger, and outright better.
Fuck the losers this week, and fuck the winners. And fuck me for betting on this chaos.
*Ryan Fitzpatrick with Tampa last year did look like a damn Buccaneer.

Phase III: Bargaining
Still not through with anger. Like trying to trade losses for going Christmas shopping with my sister is going to mean a damn now?

Phase IV: Depression
You don’t have any skin in the game, because you have neither thick skin nor game. You’re the worst kind of bettor: a play-it-safe heart bettor. Always chasing the underdog narrative so long as the narrative is comfortably favored by at least -140. You disgrace competition with your soft decision-making. You’re sloppy. The house knows it by the look of you, loose wager receipts coming out of your cheap clothes. When virtuous people think of gambling, they think of a lurid cesspool, and you’re the direct embodiment of it.
Why do you do it, you desperate sack of oozing shit?

Phase V: Acceptance.
Take a deep breath.
If you go max bet on the Saints minus points, you can start to recoup some of the devastation. Brissett is a lock to throw a pick. And of course Jack Doyle will score a tuddy. Then, next week the Packers and Patriots are a lock, so you throw them in a parlay. And Bucs-Texans will go over…
submitted by psstev01 to sportsbetting [link] [comments]


PRE-RAMBLE: If you don't know who I am, just skip this, honestly, you won't like it so, why bother upsetting yourself on a game day that will likely end in us being victorious. We won't have a ton of wins this year so don't bother getting confused and bummed out by my stupid shit. Just skip this.
For the rest of you!! (read: for about 9 of you)
Don’t call this a comeback!!!
The reports are in; you miss me, well 4 of you miss me and that’s enough for this week at least. And to be honest, it’s probably the last of it.
Seriously, don’t this a comeback because I’m ghosting y’all after this one.
Why did I go away? Well, I’m still here I’m not just hated, a pariah even, because I have had the audacity to say that we may not be a very good football team. I only say that because our record is 4 wins 137 losses since our last Super Bowl, I think...I’m not sure though, I counted very quickly and completely in my head without checking the internet at all. I feel like I remember winning 4 games though, right? Maybe.
We seem to live in a world where you’re either called a Nazi or a Snowflake and there is no in between and that has spread to this, and every other sub. You either love the Giants and bow down to every move they make or you’re “not a real fan.” I love this team and I absolutely hate the owner and GM. Both things are possible, don’t @ me. Tase me bro, but don't @ me.
Father Tip: (I’m a dad now so I’m very wise) If you agree with anyone 100% of the time you lack intelligence or you aren’t paying attention.
To prove how much you must drink the Kool Aid there is a current post about how evil the Bad-Man-Baby-Fondler Jerry Reese was and how Poor-Old-Mr-Nice-Man Dave Gettleman is doing his, awh-shucks, best. Here’s the truth, they can both stink. One can be slightly better than the other, or they can both be decent for what they were asked to do when they were asked to do it. It’s pretty likely that they’re both okay and neither is great. Jerry Reese was the head of pro-player scouting and did a great job of bringing in talent off the streets, whereas DG was a head scout and his drafts prove that out.
We look back at Reese drafts with the benefit (really through the shit-colored glasses) of time and we look at Gettleman drafts through the lens of “if player X improves in year Y he’ll be great!” Remember how BJ Hill was going to be an All Pro player because he had a good game against the Bears last year and now he’s lost his starting job to a player who wasn’t good enough for the god damn Jets? Yeah, well remember Reuben Randle had 71 receptions for just under 1,000 yards? We are waiting to see what BJ Hill becomes and meanwhile we remember Randle as, well, not great player. In fact, most of us pretend Randle was pure trash.
I’m not saying Gettleman is a fat, worthless, arrogant, piece of shit just like I’m not saying the Reese was some smooth talking, handsome, young black man. I’m saying they’re both GMs in their respective days who, likely, should have remained scouts. Head scouts at that, but scouts because they both have strengths and weaknesses and being GMs isn't their strengths.
I always admired on Reese looked cool while making bad decisions. Thought that was fun, I wish Dave Gettleman didn’t look like an assistant, overnight manager at Duane Reade who doesn’t quite understand how pants fit.
Anyway, this is why I’m not around. I’m not around, insofar as doing these write ups, because of the decline from spirited conversation toward dogmatic hero worship. Also, John Mara is a dickless turtle who should get fucked in his ear until his brain starts making better decisions about his billion dollar product.
Also, this post is in response to a “what happened to him” post. Many of you have come to this sub after I stopped posting these so, for you, just know that I’m just some old fuck waving his cane at the internet. If anything these posts started as well crafted scouting reports with lots of dumb jokes and they slowly turned into drunken jokes with very few “facts” thrown in just to keep me honest (I was never honest, I’m not a reporter and nobody is fact checking me. I'm just an asshole who drinks too much.)
Anyway this is for jimhenderson novelliant hollenb1 stevo2115 elkgravey starvinart /uTheMisterIt and thatsyurblood even though he’s just here for the nintendo of it all – and especially for glaci0us who can’t get my fucking user name right.
The Giants lead the all time series 8-5. What? Seriously? 13 whole fucking games? Why do people call this a rivalry? We’re in different divisions. We’ve never played a meaningful game against each other. We share the worst stadium in the league. Seriously, I’ve been to prisons, for work, all up and down the Hudson river and the ugliest prison I saw was MetLife Stadium.
The Snoopy Bowl??? Shut. The. Fuck. Up. First of all, Snoopy didn’t ever play football, if he weren't a cartoon he'd be a god damn dog. Charlie Brown at least tried to be a kicker but that stupid asshole Violet Gray, was a worse holder than Tony Romo in the playoffs and kept ruining it for Charlie. Seriously, that little girl charged for Psychiatry? You need a license for that shit and also, you’re mean to everyone and you’re a terrible person; what makes you think you could be a therapist?! Fuck her, fuck Snoopy, fuck corporate sponsored stadiums that still ask for tax dollars to be built, and fuck that giant cement turd in the middle of a swamp that has fancy blue or green lights depending on the Sunday. Fuck sharing. Especially fuck sharing with a redneck cousin, which is essentially what the Jets are.
Hey Jets, why don’t you move to Staten Island like the trash that you are.
(Note: I have only been to Staten Island once and found it lovely. This joke was cheap and doesn’t really mean much of anything so don’t get all offended like a whiny turd.)
If anything this is a sibling rivalry, at best. That is, if your younger sibling had just barely enough geneses to be considered a human – but definitely not the right amount. Having to share a stadium with these fucking turds is like when your mom bought you a new video game and half an hour into playing it she’s all like; “Okay, TheMisterIt let’s let your brother try it too.” And it’s like; “hey bitch, did you buy it for me or for thatsyurblood? Because you go away for 8-10 hours a day to work and for those hours I don’t have a mother, so maybe you could tell that job to give you enough money to buy 2 god damn video games. Hey, why don’t you take off your pants and send them to Aunt Carol...I think she should have a turn! You’ve had them on long enough.”
Or you know, maybe you have a better relationship with your mother, what do I know?
Point is, we don’t really hate the Jets for being the Jets, if anything we should hate that our parents are too god damn cheap to move us to our own apartments. Stick the Giants in Brooklyn, or Queens, or Meadowlands on the Hudson, leave us in Northern Jersey – I don’t care, just give us our own home and put a fucking roof on it so you can make money in the winter, you stupid, too proud to be “old school” morons.
“Why would we want to sell out our stadium in February for a Billy Joel concert followed by a week of sold Taylor Swift concert, when instead we can keep a roof off of it and make it look like a computer generated stadium in Madden ‘95?” says Mara, who I remind you, is dickless.
Let’s never forget that John Shitfuck Mara is the cowardly turtle grandson of a great man who gambled and cheated his way into being a very rich man. He was a god damn gangster! Meanwhile Little Johnny is all mushy mouthed and says things like; “mmmmmmmmI don’t know….I mean…..if the fans are sad about Eli not playing maybe I should hire a GM 100% based on the idea that he still thinks Eli is cute enough to get us wins.”
That’s not the apple falling far from the tree, it’s the apple falling off the tree and crying despite the fact that it is, in fact, an apple and not a human.
And shut up...I love Eli. I would encourage my wife blow him for 17 days straight if it meant he was able to stand in the pocket over the past 4 years and deliver the football like he knows he should have. But that just wasn’t going to happen because he was “seeing ghosts.” Or no wait, he was seeing actual players who were actually destroying him because he actually had an actually terrible offensive line. Just like Danny Dimes does currently.
The difference is Eli know AARP and Danny never lived in a world where he had to yell at one of his 93 siblings to get off the phone because he wanted to look up “key words: Bewbs.” The translation to that is Eli would die if he were hit and Danny is too young to know that he's slowly dying by playing football.
Rivalry? Nope. I don’t buy it. I don’t like them because growing up they were on TV after the Giants and it put me to sleep because I grew up in the era when the Jents sucked...which is every era save for about 6 seasons sprinkled in since they became a franchise.
I used to have a father. He didn’t care about me much. We’d talk once in a while. But if I were good at anything in this world, which I am not, and found success in it, which I never will - he would come on board and support me and I have absolutely no questions about that.
Meanwhile, Saquon’s father is going to wear a fucking Jets jersey? How god damn pathetic is that?
This legit, all bullshit aside, makes me very sad for both of them. I don’t know their relationship and maybe it’s not my place to be sad for them but god damn it sounds fucking awful to have your own father at your game openly only half routing for you.
Of course Saquon is a home run hitter. Of course he’s also trying to turn a 2 yard gain into a TD, he grew up watching the Jets so from age 5 through 19 he only say 4 touchdowns scored by his favorite team. And his dad is a bigger fan of that than he is of his fully grown, other-worldly sperm.
I have a daughter and whatever she wants to do, I’ll support her. If she’s like; “Dad, I want to do porn because blowing penises is the greatest thing in the world so I’ve signed with Vivid Entertainment.” I will run out, that same day and get my Brazzers Tattoo removed. Or at least covered up.
I get that our fandom runs deep but if your a bigger fan of a jersey (that has different people wearing it every single year) than you are of the person your wife spent 2 years carrying and feeding from her body...a child who you worked your ass off to protect and love, if that jersey means more to you than that kid...I don't know man. I'm just sad as fuck for you.
(I looked up his name this morning and now I forgot it and I don’t want to spend another second thinking about him so that's why I didn't name him. I cannot stress this enough, this story breaks my heart for Saquon and Saquon is my dude so I’m now forever mad at his father on his behalf. We don’t know how much our parents have fucked us up until after they’re gone for a while and we do a lot of work on it - likely in therapy. This is definitely damaging to Saquon no matter what he says or even if he doesn’t realize it yet. His father is actively putting a sport above his family. That’s the least manly thing I’ve ever heard. It’s also the least motherly thing I’ve ever heard but in this case we aren’t talking about chicks brah. We’ll talk about chicks later )
Imagine the scene, 3 years ago, Ben RoethlisDouble!uarterPounderWithCheeseAndSexualAssault, Antonio BrownSoundAlsoWithSexualAssault, and Le’vitation Bell were all on the same team and that team still couldn’t win it all. Imagine how difficult it would be for future Inbredskin’s coach Mike Epps to hold all that together without incident or really any meaningful victories with that talented and insane crew.
(Note the Inbredskins are so fucking stupid I bet Danny Snybro would actually hire Mike Epps just because he looks like that Pittsburg bro.)
Now imagine you were the best part of that trio and you spend an entire year not playing so you could be rewarded handsomely the following year. Only to be rewarded by being sent off to the ugly step-brother of NY, in a team who hired a coach seemingly just to make Pat Shurmur look like a genius by comparison. You almost have to feel bad for Bell but then again, he’s pretty fucking rich so he's clearly winning over us mere non-sports playing assfarts.
The Jests offense is as bad as they come, literally they're worst in the league in YPG, 2nd to last in PPG at 12 fucking points per game...what?! That's so bad it sounds fake and yet, somehow, as if by magic and cancer Washington is even worse.
They have decent skill players though. Sam Darnold was set back in his progression a bit this season by a few things; firstly he had his open mouth kiss and it made his tummy hurt so he had to take some time off, secondly Adam Gase sucked Peyton Manning’s dick into a 2nd head coaching job, and thirdly he might be fat? I don’t know. He’s got the round stupid face of a much fatter human. Is that why he sucks now? Will someone please tell me if he’s fat or if his face is just an inflatable safety device. Tell me!!!
By the way I rather like the new NY Jeff’s uniforms, they’re pretty cool. It’s the best part about their team. It’s almost like they’re not a bottom 5 organization in every single possible way – but they are. “Hey we may suck forever but check out this new shade of green!!” Fuck me, I fell for it. I like it.
Jesus. That was exhausting. Almost as exhausting as it would be to pretend that I’ve watched the Jeffs play a single game this season. I used to watch the team we were going to face every weekend before we faced them. But that was when I did this scouting reports before. I didn’t know I was going to write this up until there was a post BEGGGING (read: not a single person suggested) that I do another one. Also, last week they played the Dolphins. I picked the Dolphins in a survivor pool. That’s how little I think of the Jets. And yet, I’m scared we find a way to lose this game.
Anyway, Dam Sarnold is fine, I feel bad because Adam Gase may look like 3rd act of Philadelphia Tom Hanks but he coaches like first act of Forrest Gump Tom Hanks and that’s holding Samwise Darngy back...is he fat!? Is Sam Darnold fucking chubby or not!?
What to say about Adam Gase that has already been said by your asshole the morning after drinking 47 Bud Lights, eating a slice of pizza and then deciding that you should chase that down with an entire pizza but you’re going to cover it with hot sauce and then that hot sauce giving you a second wind so you drink 13 IPAs and think greasy ass chicken wings will really mend this bridge so you won’t fee sick the next day, and you smoke a joint a fall asleep. Then you wake up and think; “this is very much not my bed and this is very much not my home, I’ve got to get out of here.” You sit up and your head feels like a camera just pulled in tight on your face while playing a sad trombone into “Mad World” the Gary Jules version. You can barely stand, let alone sneak around. But when you get to your feet you realize, whomever’s home this is, you’re going to have to pay a visit to the toilet before you...no! You can’t!!! So you dash out of the house, half dressed, half retarded, and half dead – look at the sun because suddenly you think you’ll have a directional sense of where your home is, knowing that has never been the case before.
You stumble a block or two and you run into your cuntiest Aunt. Aunt Carol and you say; “Oh wow, nice pants!” And she says they were your mothers but she sent them randomly one day then she says she’s so glad you could make it to the brunch.
You think; “Brunch?” not realizing you said it aloud and she says; “Yeah, for Stacy’s wedding, it’s at the diner here.” You think about how that’s definitely a breakfast and not a brunch but you look up to see the diner and theres your god damn grandmother and she looks at you like a child at a puppy on Christmas so you have to go now. So you choke a turd back up into your asshole by about 4 feet and you put on a smile. “Hi Nana,” you say because despite being nearly 80 she says “grandma” makes her “feel old.” You go in, sit down and immediately order a coffee. You take three sips and it triggers something deep inside you and you stand to go to the bathroom but your stomach only allows you half stand, half crouch, you yell something about back pain as you shuffle to the bathroom, which is more spacious than you anticipated. You run for the first stall you see, it’s gross, there’s a swastika carved in the seat and slightly more piss on the seat than there is fresh water remaining on the Earth so you rip your pants down and hover, you’re barely aimed correctly as you start to fire and quickly learn why there’s often shit up the back of the bowl.
You ruin it. The toilet will never again be the same. You feel lighter. You’ve feel like you’ve shed the memories of 6 exes. And you hear a slightly southern voice on the other side of the stall saying; “hell yeah dude, that sounds amazing, get after it!” You wipe..you wipe again...fuck it, you wipe until you bleed and when you exit he’s still standing there, slowly clapping. It’s Peyton Manning. He’s the only person who appreciates Adam Gase and now you finally know why.
That toilet. That’s Adam Gase. (Imagine that were a port-a-potty instead of a diner, and you have Ben McAdoo.)
We’re similar offenses:
Oof, shall we talk about our defense here? Betcher was hired because he blitzed all the time in Arizona. Now he never blitzes. In part because why would he even bother? We can rush 11 and QBs still stand in there and have time to let the play develop. Our defensive roster is so gross that I actively spend a majority of my week drowning myself to try to induce some sort of water-logged-brain-CTE situation.
We haven’t drafted a good linebacker since I started ejaculating...I’m 40. We had a decent safety who left to get overpaid, fair. Fine. But we replaced him with CC Brown from the Browns and went and signed CC Brown from the Cardinals. I hope that Peppers ends up being a spicy player who is nothing to sneeze at but right now, he’s just a guy who is likely to be ground up in the passing game. I hope that Bethea goes away. And he will but not after really hurting us this year.
Janory Jenky has officially lost the right to be called Jckrbbit because he stinks and refuses to try for more than 10-15 plays a game. Baker’s problem in the draft was that people thought he lacked effort and relied on his natural talents to get by...it sure would be nice to at least see those natural talents that they were talking about.
Actually, I came on the board recently to defend him a bit, he’s done much, much better over the past few weeks. He still hasn’t been very good but he’s been better and that’s all I really want; to see the young players improve. So stop saying “this year is about getting better” and then also arguing that Baker is a piece of shit. Sure, he’s not great but he’s literally doing the one thing we all want. Imagine that, the president of the Dave Gettleman is a Fat Shit Fan Club defending a Dave Fat Shit Gettleman draft pick!!! It’s almost as if there is nuance in the world...who would have thunk it?
I have been told by many people that we have linebackers on our roster but I have seen no evidence of this.
I refuse to believe it/acknowledge them. Some players have LB numbers but really are playing DE in sub and those guys are Lorenzo “if he improves in year 2 we’ll be fine at edge rusher” Carter who has not really imporved at all in year two but has 2.5 sacks and 8 QB hits. Oshane “I know he went to small school but he’s going to be the steal of the draft” Ximines who has not really been much of a steal but played almost exactly to the level at which he was drafted, has 2 sacks and 4 QB. And Markus “Hey, alright!” Golden who leads the way with 5.5 sacks, 13 QB hits and gives more effort than just about anyone on the team.
(note: I think DG stinks at evaluating pro-level players and is a very, very excellent college scout. I think that he’s fantastic at drafting talent but it isn’t always the talent the team needs because he’s not great at roster construction. I’m very vocal about all of this as you’ve seen. And yet, I think signing Golden was a great move and he was absolutely right and I was absolutely wrong. Guess what; it’s okay to be wrong! Humility, especially when it’s involving something we have zero effect on, should be/can be easy.)
(Note on that note: part of why I didn’t want to do these is because I knew I’d use them to lecture at some point...sorry about that. Could delete it but I won’t because, let’s be honest, I really never edited these all that much and I’ve also preached a bunch in other spots too. Whatever. You can stop reading at any point.)
DL: one of the funniest things I read was about how Leonard Williams was telling his Giants’ teammates all about the Jats. I can only imagine that there is “Hard Knocks” style room where the entire team is sitting, knock on wood if you know what I mean, and Williams raises his hand in the air.
Head Coach Patrick J. (don’t know his middle initial) Shurmburn is like; “yes, Lenny?” Knock on wood if you like calling him Lenny.
Lenny; “Yo, coach, I think I know a thing or two about the BasicallyDolphins, if you know what I mean,” and an 80’s style laugh track plays out of nowhere, knock on wood if you feel me.
He comes to the front of the room and he looks very seriously at each player, which takes a long time because there are about 90 people in the room with the practice players, coaching staff, training staff, and a woman named Margo who just hangs around whenever they let her. Lenny is a bit shy but he clears his throat, looks down and collects himself before looking back up and saying; “they are pretty bad at football...um..that’s pretty much it.”
Knock on wood if you think the Raider’s season of Hard Knocks was the worst one ever.
Our DL is pretty decent. There isn’t a single player on it that really scares you but there are good players across the board. BJ Hill had a good game against the Bears last year, Dexter Lawrence is the Odell Beckham of DTs, Dalvin Tomlinson was drafted by Jerry Reese so you probably hate him, and RJ McIntosh tricks you every time you see him because you’re like; “90? Is that...oh no, wait though, who the fuck is it?”
Honestly, Lawrence was a frustrating draft pick and I was totally wrong, it looks like he’s going to be a complete stud.
The line was together for every game this season, proving once again that consistency is the most important element to having a great offensive line...not counting “having good players.” Remmers will likely miss this game because his back has been broken since we last drafted a good LB and Halapio is out with Halitosis. That means we get to see...oh it probably won’t matter, if I’m being honest. Remmers has been bad and Halapio has been pronounced differently by every announcer this year and that’s about all we can say positive about him. I guess Gates and Pulley will get the start. Pulley is just as good as Talapia and Gates is, I mean who the fuck knows really?
Also out; Sterling Shepard and Evan Engram who are the only two pass catchers on the Giants to create any separation at all this season. Even still, it was about 9 yards.
And as I mentioned earlier, Saquon isn’t 100% and that’s clear by looking at him, watching him, touching him, and smelling him; and legally that’s all I’m allowed to do to him until I eventually take my fight all the way to the Supreme Court. Just let me taste the man! How will that hurt anyone?!
I think, lowkey, we really miss Corey Coleman. He would be our best KR, though Latimer did well in that role last week, and he would be a good outside receiver. No offense to Slayton, Latimer, and Fowler but they aren’t very good at football. They’re good at football, clearly, they’re in the NFL, actually they’re great at football, until you compare them to other NFL players and that’s when it all starts to fall apart for them. Maybe Slayton turns himself into a player, but I think we’re seeing what he is; he has the ability to make dynamic and great catches and follows that up with not being able to track the ball at all – which oddly has happened to him like at least 5 times since pre-season. I’ve never seen that before. He’s a fantastic athlete though and a bubble screen or a tap pass/reverse would be great to see. But Patricia is bad a play calling and utilizing the talent he has.
I hope I’m wrong about Slayton but I think he’ll be a rookie contract value guy who maybe sticks around for another season after that – which isn’t bad for a late draft pick like him. He’s certainly not going to win us any games this year by just taking over. And we really need that this week. We need some WR to really, really show up. So that really puts a lot on Tate.
Golden Tate he’s still a good player. He’s not super dynamic but he can catch and can run after the catch. He doesn’t get much seperation and we play him on the outside too much but I bet he gets 6 receptions because in 4/6 games this year he’s had 6 receptions so it seems like a decent guess.
CJ Mosley is the starting MLB and he’s out of this game. But he’s only played in 2 games this year so it won’t likely matter one way or the other. A sign of bad linebacker play is when safeties lead the team in tackles which Bethea and Peppers do for us. A very confusing stat is when your corners lead the team in tackles, which is the case for the Jetserbockers. How? Why? It’s not like teams have had to pass against them. So why do their corners lead their team in tackles? It has to be an awful sign.
They do have Jamal Adams who is a very good player that we are all thankful doesn’t have a star on the side of his helmet. That’s a good thing. We don’t need the Cowboys to be better at football. They’re already above average and we haven’t seen that since Tony Romo held that field goal just slightly off and the ball fell, and everything went to shit and fuck the Cowboys.
Gregg Williams is the DC in well, in our building but on off days. He’s clearly and obviously a scumbag, a bad person, and has horrible hair for a man his age. He’s also aggressive and not smart. He is known for having middle of the road defenses no matter what his roster is. He also runs a lot of 0 blitzes, which is just man to man and you send everyone else. It’s called a 0 blitz because that’s how much imagination it took to design it; zero. Fuck Gregg Williams. Did you know the extra G in Gregg stands for Fuck Gregg Williams? He’s still serving his life-time ban from coaching in the NFL, I think. I don’t really know.
Let’s talk Danny real quick. I like the kid. Okay...hows that? Enough? No? Okay fine.
Danny Dimes is great, or at least he will be great, or at least he might be great someday, or at least he’ll have great games from time to time. I don’t know. You don’t know. Nobody really knows. He has a problem turning the ball over. He fumbles and throws picks all too often. The interceptions don’t really bother me so much honestly. I’ve grown accustomed to them. It’s really the fumbles. Maybe he should put a glove on like Eli did to show; “I’m not really doing much to fix this but now the papers will leave me alone.”
It’s hard for me to say this, I think Danny may end up being better than Eli someday, I think he’ll reach higher highs. Oh, it doesn’t matter for tomorrow though.
He should be able to move the ball against the Getts.
Saquon is needed, so is Gallman. Honestly, Saquon is hurt and we don’t need a guy to run for 50 yards we need a guy who can run for 5 yards a pop so maybe, just maybe, until our #2 – all world running back is healthy we should use him sparingly. Especially since Gallman is better than people think. He’s a good player. Let him get the run. Meanwhile, Saquon is 35% of our future, Dimes is 40%, and 25% is full of players who aren’t on our roster and our guards. Engram and Shepard may be a part of this but I think Shep is starting to look at the short end of a short career and Engram is like Percy Harvin so much that I half expect him to beat the shit out of Golden Tate out of nowhere.
Also, Evan Engram smokes more weed than anyone reading this right now. There’s no way that dude doesn’t get high as fuck all the time. I love it! I love weed. We should all get high all the time. The world is a dystopian nightmare and weed helps you forget that for about 7 seconds and that’s pretty great. So does beer. I also love beer. But that shit is making me fat.
Wait, wasn’t I supposed to talk about Saquon? Meh, whatever, he’s fucking amazing, we all know that. He’s better when he tries to run for 8 yards as opposed to 80 but whatever, watching him run for 80 yards once in a while is so much god damn fun. I love watching him run. Watching him run is like watching Eli throw the sideline pass to Manningham in the last game we won. It’s like watching Sunday Night Football and knowing, deep in your heart, that Rodney Harrison still thinks about David Tyree catching that pass in the 2nd to last game we ever won.
Honestly I think of Saquon as I did Odell. They’re so god damn amazing that I don’t think we deserve them. Hear me out! We haven’t had a skilled position Hall of Famer (non-QB) since Frank Gifford. Yeah. That’s right. And we’ve got 2 in the Hall of Fame. Listen, I’m not saying that OBJ and Saquon are hall of famers, but they have the talent to be those and the only players we’ve had that even had that talent (again – non-QB because QB is about wins and that’s fucking stupid however you slice it) are Tiki and Shockey. And you guys hate them both. So I don’t know what to even tell you about that.
Anyway, growing up in the 80’s and 90’s I felt more nervous when our team was on offense because that’s when bad things happened. Defense, we always had good players and we made plays. So still, even now, when we have highly dynamic offensive skill players it feels wrong to me. Anyway, it feels so conflicting to have great offensive players. We deserve Reuben Randle and Sterling Shepard, decent players with obvious flaws. I don’t know, we’re the Giants, we’re the only blue collar thing left in NY. And when we have fancy ass players like Saquon it feels like new Manhattan.
I’m not really focusing on the game because this will be my last write up. So I’m just spilling it all out. Why not right? This shit is taking forever! Fuck it, let’s end it.
I really ran out of steam on the offense part because I've had a shit day. So let's just rapid fire some of this in hopes that it will make up for it all.
Those sucked...I've lost it!
This wasn’t fun to write and I absolutely guarantee the following comments in some form or another:
These used to be fun. Sorry that they aren’t anymore, if anyone else wants to take them on – they’re all yours.
love you all.
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Meditations on NFL Week 15 Gambling Losses

You wake up, not in a cold sweat, but in a scalding shame. Your daughter’s crying at 2:57 AM, so you put her on her changing station and throw away the old diaper. You shake your head as you recall writing “$0.00 – sorry, the Redskins didn’t cover” on the tip line of your restaurant receipt, and you consider the merits of trading places with the discarded diaper.
The ESPN highlights from last night play in your mind like colorized footage of bombing runs on cityscapes from World War 2. It’s dark in the nursery, and the baby is crying. She’s pounding the changing station the same way you pounded the table when the Falcons recovered a fumble in the endzone to tilt the score above your Falcons-9ers under bet.
Suddenly, she stops, and in a single moment the tantrum and the tears are completely silenced. Did her neo-natal mind reach a revelation? Was she already smart enough not to take Jared Goff on the road, even against a spiraling Cowboys team? She clears her throat, and it feels like a moment before her first words. The silence reaches a crescendo, and you’re afraid she’s going to condemn you for devastating her college fund with her first words.
Hands outstretched in breathless anticipation, a strange confidence comes over you. It reminds you of the confidence you felt when you took Hodges to have 3 or fewer INTs in your player props. Then, a tremendous fart erupts.
Nothing oozes like a shit.

Phase I: Denial
It didn’t happen. The Raiders didn’t heartbreak their home faithful in the last game in Oakland will ever see against a road Jaguars team that had lost six straight. (The Jags hadn’t won since October!) The Titans didn’t lose to the Texans, who got beat at home last week by the Broncos, 38-24. (Carlson missed two late field goals!) The Arizona Cardinals didn’t score 38 points when they’ve only scored more than 30 once this season. (How did the refs escape Oakland Coliseum with their lives?)
Home favorites are 47-81-5 ATS. How is that reality?
It didn’t happen.

Phase II: Anger
Fuck the slate this week. From the predictable Patriots win to Eli Manning beating the Dolphins, and the media treating it like he just slayed Tom Brady in the Super Bowl for a third time. That asshole doesn’t even break in the top 2 Manning quarterbacks, and they want to talk about his hall of fame candidacy?
Fuck the Jets for rolling over so predictably in a primetime game. Fuck the Bengals for tanking so apparently so they can acquire Joe Burrow just to trade him to another team that knows what the fuck they’re doing in 2 seasons. Fuck the Panthers for the backdoor cover in a non-division game that didn’t mean shit to them. Fuck the Bears for losing and not making the playoffs, ruining another future bet that looked so right. Fuck the Broncos for their horse-faced GM – Never has a quarterback’s face looked more like the team he represented* – Fuck the Titans for blowing such an obvious home smash spot. Fuck the Redskins for blowing the game, the spread, and the future in the same ham-fisted fumble. Fuck the Browns for losing what should have been a Baker Mayfield revenge game - No wonder Kingsbury didn’t start you, cuz. You suck. – Fuck the Chargers for Jekyll and Hyding again between last week’s 45-10 win on the road and today’s 39-10 loss at “home” – Rivers has a field goal’s worth more kids than playoff wins. Fuck the Super Bowl hungover Rams, and that’s all they deserve. Fuck the 49ers for looking tremendous against the Ravens and the Saints, only to come home and collapse like Weekend at Bernie’s. Fuck the Steelers for their dogged determination in the face of Vietnam-esque casualties. And fuck the Raiders anyway. Fuck those 53 assholes, and the sorry division they belong to. Fuck the AFC West, led by Patrick Mahomes and his Kermit the Frog voice. Fuck the AFC altogether, and then throw in the NFC for good measure. Fuck the impotent league commissioner, who has only made the game slower, softer, and outright worse. Ironic because players have only grown faster, stronger, and outright better.
Fuck the losers this week, and fuck the winners. And fuck me for betting on this chaos.

*Ryan Fitzpatrick with Tampa last year did look like a damn Buccaneer.

Phase III: Bargaining
Still not through with anger. Like trying to trade losses for going Christmas shopping with my sister is going to mean a damn now?

Phase IV: Depression
You don’t have any skin in the game, because you have neither thick skin nor game. You’re the worst kind of bettor: a play-it-safe heart bettor. Always chasing the underdog narrative so long as the narrative is comfortably favored by at least -140. You disgrace competition with your soft decision-making. You’re sloppy. The house knows it by the look of you, loose wager receipts coming out of your cheap clothes. When virtuous people think of gambling, they think of a lurid cesspool, and you’re the direct embodiment of it.
Why do you do it, you desperate sack of oozing shit?

Phase V: Acceptance.
Take a deep breath.
If you go max bet on the Saints minus points, you can start to recoup some of the devastation. Brissett is a lock to throw a pick. And of course Jack Doyle will score a tuddy. Then, next week the Packers and Patriots are a lock, so you throw them in a parlay. And Bucs Texans is going to go over for sure…
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Super Bowl 2020 Picks and Predictions from Vegas Super Bowl Betting Tips and Handicapping Strategy from Vegas Super Bowl 54 & College Basketball Betting Tips with Greg Peterson January 31, 2020 2019 Super Bowl Props and Tips with Teddy Covers and Gianni the Greek Super Bowl 54 Predictions, Picks and Odds from Vegas  Sunday, February 2, 2020

The Chiefs, with a moneyline of -121, have implied odds of 54.75% to win Super Bowl LIV. The 49ers, meanwhile, are at +105, making them slight underdogs from a betting point of view. San Francisco has an implied 47.78% win probability. In other words, this one has some razor-thin margins to work around on the base sports betting odds. Betting tips, odds, and predictions from top bookmakers. Check out our preview for Super Bowl 54 between the San Francisco 49ers and the Kansas City Chiefs. Javascript is disabled in your web browser. please turn it on Quick Guide to Betting Super Bowl XLVII. February 2, 2013 TJ Gill Sports Betting 0 If the NFL had its way, certain Super Bowl prop bets wouldn’t even be legal. Due to the expansion of legalized betting in America, representatives from league asked Congress in 2018 to give pro Here’s a complete guide to betting on Super Bowl 54, including updated odds, prop bets, expert tips and more for 49ers vs. Chiefs. MORE: Get the latest Super Bowl 54 odds & betting trends at

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Super Bowl 2020 Picks and Predictions from Vegas

Super Bowl 2019 Prop Bets and Handicapping Tips from Vegas (Super Bowl - Sunday, February 3, 2019) - Duration: 13:07. WagerTalk TV: Sports Picks and Betting Tips 5,517 views 13:07 2020 Super Bowl Prop Bets Handicapping Tips and Strategy - Duration: 11:08. WagerTalk TV: Sports Picks and Betting Tips Recommended for you. 11:08. Prop Bets for Super Bowl 2020 Super Bowl Start Time: 6:30 p.m. EST on Sunday, February 2, 2020 - Duration: 36:19. WagerTalk TV: Sports Picks and Betting Tips 5,461 views 36:19 Super Bowl Prop Bets 2019 and Betting Tips (Super Bowl Vegas Odds - Sunday, February 3, 2019) - Duration: 7:41. WagerTalk TV: Sports Picks and Betting Tips 1,949 views 7:41 Bet On It - Super Bowl Opening Odds, Super Bowl Prop Betting Tips, and Weekend Basketball - Duration: 51:08. WagerTalk TV: Sports Picks and Betting Tips 21,905 views 51:08