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The Last Precursor 003: The Terrifying Terran
The Last Precursor is a brand new HFY-exclusive web-serial which focuses on the exploits of the last living human amidst a galaxy of unknown aliens. With his species all but extinct and only known as the ancient Precursors, how will Rodriguez survive in this hostile universe? Make sure to read Parts 1 and 2 first if you missed them! Previous Part Part 001 submitted by Klokinator to HFY [link] [comments]
Several kilometers from the Bloodbearer, aboard the Assault Ordinance Platform, 'Dragon's Breath.'
Orgon the Unkillable paces back and forth on his ship's bridge. The Kraktol Fleet Commander reveals his impatience as he turns to his Chief Tactical Officer.
"Officer Soren! What have you found?"
The red-scaled Kraktol swivels in her chair to face her Commander. She pounds her chest and lowers her head. "Kyargh! Commander, I have completed my fifth scan. I am still unable to penetrate the Precursor vessel's hull. I know nothing of its occupants, nor its internal technology. The metal composing its body is far denser than any alloy we have on file."
A flash of anger appears on Orgon's face. "Don't give me excuses. Give me results! I called off the attack on Tarus II for the sake of capturing that errant vessel. If we don't obtain that Precursor stealth craft, the Thülvik will have my head!"
Behind Orgon, a slightly shorter Kraktol with bright yellow scales approaches him.
Orgon turns to look at the newcomer. "First Officer Megla. Tell me you
have good news."
His first officer nods. "I have calculated the age of the unknown Juggernaut-class Precursor ship. The scorch marks lining its shell appear both numerous and ancient. Preliminary readings show it has resided within this nebula for tens of millions of years."
The Fleet Commander cocks his head. "Tens of millions of years? So... could that mean...?"
"Aye, Commander. I believe the vessel is an unclaimed Precursor relic. If we are lucky, we might have a chance at obtaining it for ourselves."
For the first time in an hour, Orgon's expression brightens.
"Huhuhu... remind me to grant you a medal of commendation when we return. No! Three. Haha. This news is most fortuitous, indeed!"
A gleam of greed appears in Orgon's eyes. He falls silent as his thoughts turn inward. Such an advanced piece of Precursor technology... if I obtain it, the Thülvik will surely promote me to the highest rank! Perhaps she shall even take me for her mate! Huhuhu...
After a moment, Orgon frowns. No. Aren't I thinking too small? The Juggernaut warship is a thousand times more incredible than our best vessels. If I were to obtain it... why would I hand such a powerful and priceless artifact over to the Thülvik? Huhu... wouldn't it be better if I took it for myself? Even in the Core worlds, my might would be uncontested! Those damned Mallali haven't anything of comparable might.
The Commander forces a neutral expression while noticing the look his First Officer gives him. I must keep such thoughts to myself. If the crew were to learn of my mutinous intent, they might turn against me. First, I should secure the vessel, and only then will I turn my attention toward those worthy to stay at my side.
Commander Orgon harrumphs
to clear his throat. "Graugh! Since the vessel is unclaimed, I believe now would be the ideal moment to approach. If we delay for too long, the fugitive Kessu may take over the vessel's control systems. The last thing we want are the descendents of the filthy Sky Cats to-"
"Commander!" Officer Soren shouts, her voice rising an octave. "We're being hailed! The origin source is... the Precursor vessel. The Juggernaut!"
Orgon's words halt in his throat. A sense of unease grabs him, making him turn to face the primary viewscreen, where his officers sit.
"The vessel itself? Damn! Don't tell me the Kessu have already made their move! Everyone, return to your stations. Officer Soren, put the hail onscreen."
"Yes, Commander! Kyargh!"
Orgon's First Officer and the others nearby take to their seats, while Orgon himself remains standing. His crew turns to face the viewscreen, using their numbers as a show of strength. Click.
The viewscreen shifts, revealing six bipedal aliens, all of them bald on their bodies, except for the tops of their heads. The one in the middle sports fur under his lips and around his chin, making the Kraktol all feel a sense of confusion. Hm?
Orgon thinks. I do not recognize this species. They are not Kessu.
Of the six assembled aliens, five of them wield highly advanced energy rifles, far mightier than anything aboard the Dragon's Breath. None of the Kraktol crew misses this distinction.
"Greetings. I am Fleet Admiral Rodriguez, head of the United Terran Coalition, servant of the Divine Emperor Malathus the Third. Who are you, and why have you brought a fleet of battleships into my space? Are you planning to declare war upon me?"
The bipedal alien speaks with authority, making all of the Kraktol bridge crew feel a hint of respect toward him. His voice does not shake, nor does his conviction waver.
Orgon the Unkillable folds his claws behind his back. He straightens his posture while meeting 'Admiral Rodriguez's' gaze.
"Graugh! I am Fleet Commander Orgon of the Kraktol, follower of the Thülvik. I am unfamiliar with your species, alien. Are you native to this region of space?"
The alien doesn't respond for a moment.
"...You could say that. My people are known as Terrans. Humans, if you like. I will repeat my earlier question. Why have you appeared before me with a fleet of death machines? Are you attempting to intimidate me?"
The Kraktol Commander shifts his feet. Several questions pop into his mind upon hearing the Terran's words. Death Machines? Compared to the vessel these aliens control, my fleet can hardly be considered a nuisance. Why does the Terran pretend he is at a disadvantage? Damn. What is a Terran, anyway? I have heard of no such species in all my years! Don't tell me some scavengers from the Core stumbled upon this vessel before me! If they've taken over its weapon systems, I won't have a chance at seizing it for myself! The Thülvik will behead me for sure!
Orgon casually raises his palm; the universal gesture for deference. "Ah, my apologies, Admiral Rodriguez! I was unaware the vessel you reside upon had already been scavenged. You see, I am a Rodak of many talents. I was pursuing a group of fugitives who stole valuable technology, when they entered this nebula and stowed away aboard your vessel! I wasn't certain if your Precursor vessel had been claimed by anyone, and now it seems my question has been answered. Might I implore you to hand over the thieves who took our technology?"
Several seconds of silence follow.
Admiral Rodriguez's eyes flick to the side, as if listening to someone else speak.
Not long after, the Admiral blinks in acknowledgment. "I see. You were in pursuit of a species known as the 'Kessu.' Is that correct?"
"Graugh! Yes, you are a very discerning Terran, Admiral Rodriguez. If you would be so kind as to return my stealth-craft, I will be on my way."
"According to information I've just received, the 'Kessu' you speak of have not stolen any such technology. They claim that the vessel is theirs. Are you able to provide proof for your accusations of theft?"
Commander Orgon's eyes flicker. "Hmm... the thieves stole not only the vessel, but many important documents related to its ownership. How about this? I can provide you with a substantial
number of Core credits in exchange for the return of that vessel. You see, if I do not retrieve it, I will suffer a great humiliation. As one who is wise in the ways of negotiation, you understand what I mean, yes?"
The Terran nods.
"Certainly, I do."
"Excellent!" Orgon says, as he clasps his claws together. "I can guarantee you a fruitful friendship with the Kraktol if you choose to cooperate with me today. Additionally, regarding your Juggernaut vessel, my people would be willing to offer a fortune in credits for the transference of its ownership. You need not rush to a decision, Admiral Rodriguez, but I hope you will consider my request! Why be a scavenger when you can live as a king?"
The Terran frowns. "I am confused regarding a few matters, Fleet Commander Orgon. If you would be so kind, would you mind explaining a few things to me?"
Orgon falters. "Graugh. Yes?"
Admiral Rodriguez continues. "You keep using the term 'Precursor.' It might be that my translation interface is not working properly. Would you mind explaining what that term means?"
Several question marks appear over Orgon's head. Is this alien not from a species our translator recognizes? Perhaps 'Precursor' means something different in the Terran's native language.
"Ah, yes, of course! I will be happy to explain. Maybe your people have a different word which refers to the former super-civilization that once ruled the Local Cluster. Most Core-worlders refer to them as the Precursors. They were the ones who created the ships you and I currently reside upon!"
The Terran nods. "Ah, so that's what you mean. Yes, I believe I understand. You mean the species which perished many tens of millions of years ago, correct?"
"Graugh! Yes, that is exactly right."
Commander Orgon shakes his head inwardly. This Terran seems intelligent, but he does not even know the universal term for the Precursors! Perhaps his people are nomadic, merely flitting about from one dilapidated outpost to the next.
Admiral Rodriguez narrows his eyes. "Next, you implied that I was a scavenger. What did you mean by that statement?"
Orgon's internal laughter comes to a sudden stop.
The Terran's cold expression chills his blood, reminding him of the one time in the past he screwed up and pissed off the Thülvik. Ancient Rodaks! The look on the Terran's face could freeze a star solid! Have... have I inadvertently insulted him?!
The Kraktol Commander suddenly becomes acutely aware of how much more powerful the Terran's scavenged vessel is compared to his. Even if 99% of its weapons might be nonfunctional, the remaining 1% could atomize his fleet with ease.
"...Ah! Perhaps there was another mistranslation! Graugh... what poor decorum of me to choose my words so flippantly! Let me rephrase my question, great Admiral Rodriguez! Ah... might I ask in which way you procured the vessel you currently reside? The Juggernaut Precursor ship, I mean."
The Terran Admiral's expression doesn't change. "That is my business, and mine alone, Commander Orgon. My crew numbers more than fifty thousand. All of them are highly trained, elite warriors. We are not
scavengers who obtained this ship through ill-means."
Orgon's scales shiver as the Terran's eyes threaten to bore holes in his natural armor. "Y-yes! Of course. Naturally, I misspoke! Forgive me, for I know very little regarding the ways of your people, the 'Terrans.' For you to acquire such a priceless Precursor ship, I am sure you must have explored far and wide across the galaxy. It seems you would not be willing to part with it for a reward as trifling as credits, yes? Perhaps some form of equivalent exchange?"
The Admiral's reply drains the blood from Orgon's scales. "My vessel is not for sale, Fleet Commander Orgon. As for the fugitives who have slipped aboard, they must have done so under the cover of the plasma storms pervading this sector. I will end our communication here and re-establish contact with you later. If I find that your claims are true, I will consider selling their ship to you for a fair price."
Orgon's dampened spirits immediately experience a full revival. He clutches his claws together and nods politely. "Oh, yes! Yes, we will give you any sum you wish-"
"But..." Admiral Rodriguez says, cutting off the Kraktol Commander. "...If I should find that your claims are false
... only the Divine Emperor's command will save your fleet from my wrath. For your sake, I hope that you have not attempted to deceive
Orgon's words jam in his throat. He quickly folds his claws behind his back to hide their shaking. "Y-yes... of course, Admiral Rodriguez."
Without another word, the viewscreen turns black as the Terran disables the connection from his side.
All of the crew aboard the Dragon's Breath remain perfectly still. The atmosphere becomes so tense that one could hear a pin drop.
Still trembling, the Fleet Commander takes a few steps back and sinks into his seat. I'm finished.
Commander Orgon's eyes turn vacant. If I don't retrieve the stealth-fighter, the Thülvik will behead me for abandoning our mission to annihilate the Kessu. If I don't retrieve the Juggernaut-class Precursor vessel, I won't have the power to make myself the new Thülvik. And if that Terran speaks to the Kessu aboard his ship, he's likely to find out the truth and destroy my fleet. He's... he's not a mercenary, nor a scavenger.
The Kraktol Commander's eyes slowly close. He's a damned zealot. He must belong to a species that thinks of themselves as virtuous protectors of the innocent.
Orgon raises his fist and smashes it against his chair's arm.
"First Officer Megla!" Orgon roars. "Dig up every piece of information you can find about these damned Terrans... these filthy humans!"
The First Officer jumps out of her seat and nods. "Kyargh! Yes, Commander!"
"Chief Tactical Officer Soren! Draw up a plan of attack! If that Terran turns on us, I want a shot at seizing his vessel! I don't care how little!"
The Tactical Officer nods. "Kyargh! I will do as you command."
Finally, Orgon turns to his Chief Navigation Officer. "Gorlax! Send a report back to the Thülvik regarding what we've found! Encrypt it with the highest security! We must keep this vessel's existence a secret! If the Buzor learn of its significance, they might come here before us!"
Gorlox, like all the other officers, merely nods. "Graugh! Yes, Commander!"
Quickly, the whole bridge gets to work following Orgon's orders. As they do, the Fleet Commander leans back in his chair. A look of animalistic rage appears in his eyes. You dare to threaten me?! Filthy Terran. I'll wipe your whole species from existence!
After ending the call, Admiral Rodriguez exhales deeply.
"Is there a problem, Admiral?" Irene, the blond-haired Bio-Entity asks. "Your discussion with the Kraktol designated Orgon appeared most fruitful."
José nods. "Yes. Assuming that crocodile-creature's words were true... it seems humanity has, indeed, gone extinct. The chances of finding some long-lost colony are remote. Additionally, I've learned that the galaxy is aware of neither our appearance nor our proper species' name, or else the Fleet Commander would have recognized me immediately. At the least, someone aboard his bridge would have."
"Umi," José continues, "keep an eye on the enemy vessels. If they move so much as a half-step closer, inform me at once. Additionally, monitor their transmissions. Something tells me the Commander isn't as meek and polite of a fellow as he pretended during our chat. I suspect he'll call for backup, and soon."
" Umi replies. "Admiral Rodriguez, I have downloaded the data stores from the Kraktol vessel. Their primitive security measures were unable to prevent my access. Would you like to take a look at what I've found?
"Later," José says with a wave of his hand. "Right now, I'm curious about that stowaway vessel Orgon mentioned. Why didn't you inform me of its presence?"
"You have only just awoken from stasis,
" Umi says. "Due to the nature of your hibernation, I deemed the refugees unimportant. The vessel they reside upon is a relic of the ancient United Terran Coalition war fleet. Its fleet signature identified it as an ally, and therefore, I decided it was a low-priority compared to the Kraktol fleet.
Admiral Rodriguez turns away from the viewscreen. "I see. Bio-Entities, please return to the tasks I gave you. Umi, I want to know more about the 'Kessu' vessel. Who are the Kessu, and why were they fleeing the Kraktol? I don't intend to step between two warring factions, even if their technology is lightyears weaker than the Bloodbearer. After all, Ramma's Chosen must never interfere in the matters of other factions. We have been and will continue to remain politically neutral."
Umi's voice softens. "You are the last living member of Ramma's Chosen, Admiral Rodriguez. For the sake of your mental health, I feel the need to remind you that there is nobody left who will punish or reprimand you for doing as you please. As you are the current highest-ranking member of the United Terran Coalition, I do not even technically have the right to refuse orders contradicting Ramma's creed.
José nods. "I know, but keep those thoughts to yourself. I am unable to change my state of mind so easily. From my perspective, I was a mere Private amongst a strict military hierarchy only one day ago. This whole situation makes my mental state somewhat difficult to readjust."
"Understood. I will not bring up this matter again unless I deem it a Priority One need. Admiral Rodriguez, do you have any further orders?
The newly minted Admiral strides through the Bridge's exit doors, leaving behind the five Bio-Entities. "I do. Pull up anything regarding the Kessu that you can find. Use the information you lifted from the Kraktol and cross-reference it with whatever news you've obtained from our stowaways. I want to quickly piece together the galactic situation outside this plasma cloud, as well as find out how much of what the Kessu and Kraktol have given us checks out."
Umi beeps in confirmation. "Orders acknowledged, Admiral. The requested operation will take me fourteen seconds to complete.
José smiles. "Good."
Twenty minutes later, after José has strolled down the Bloodbearer's hallways while taking his time, he arrives at the rear of the ship, its hangar bay. The gigantic open area features five levels of interceptor and assault corvette storage space, with more than 200 miniature battleships already docked and room for another hundred. José steps through the entrance to the hangar and pauses as he glances around.
Unlike many areas José has passed, including the mess hall, the hangar bay appears especially clean and pristine. Every inch of its interior sparkles and shines, making him frown.
"Umi. How has the hangar bay maintained its cleanliness for 100 million years? Are the Bloodbearer's janitors still functional?"
"Affirmative, Admiral Rodriguez. However, out of a complement of three hundred and seven Filth Expunger Units, only twelve remain functional. Five of them remain inside the hangar bay, where they have continued working since the crew entered stasis.
"Hm. I'm not complaining. Better to have twelve than zero. Send a few of them to the dirty sections of the ship. I'll work on repairing the others when I have time."
"Orders acknowledged, Admiral.
With a satisfied nod, José strides along a catwalk some three hundred feet above the hangar floor. Its reach spans the length and width of the entire hangar, with multiple vacuum tubes at recurring intervals for reaching the levels above and below.
"Seven hundred meters from your position, Admiral: That is where the Kessu's vessel resides. Turn seven degrees to your right and look for the arrow-shaped craft.
José follows Umi's direction. After confirming his destination, he quickly strides across the catwalk and stops at a vacuum tube, intending to ride it to the bottom. However, due to a hundred million years of wear and tear, it fails to open, leaving him stranded.
Umi speaks, her robotic tone containing a smidgen of embarrassment. "My apologies, Admiral. I did not realize the vacuum tubes were out of operation. There is a ladder one thousand and two hundred meters starboard of your current position. You may use it to descend-
"No need," José says, waving Umi's concerns away. "I'll just jump."
The synthmind's voice jumps an octave. "Admiral Rodriguez, I understand that you are one of Ramma's Chosen, but a 300-meter fall will-
"It won't do anything," José laughs. Without another word, the human swings his legs over the guardrail and jumps off the catwalk. His body plummets to the metal floor below, where he crashes into it feet-first with a clang!
José straightens his posture and shakes a bit of numbness out of his legs. "Hm. I'm a little out of shape."
" Umi says, her tone revealing audible annoyance. "You are the last Terran. Please do not take such risky actions with your life. The effects of extended cryosleep can result in drastic weakening of both your muscles and bones. Had you broken a limb, I would have limited methods at my disposal to retrieve your body and transfer you to sickbay. My assistant bio-entities are presently few and far between.
"Relax," José says. "I'm fine. I know my own strength. I once fought a group of Void Roamers on Ataraxia II, near the Third Spiral Arm. When they surrounded me, I leaped from a cliff ten times this height and survived. Don't underestimate Ramma's Chosen."
"Those circumstances were different-
"I don't want to hear it. End of discussion. Now, please behave yourself as I introduce myself to the Kessu. I'd like to make a good first impression with our potential allies. We could use some influential connections in this hostile galaxy."
"Admiral. Regarding the Kessu... they are not an advanced culture. You should temper your expectations.
"Oh? Then why were the Kraktol acting as if the Kessu possessed a vessel lightyears more advanced than theirs? Perhaps you are underestimating our stowaways."
Umi's tone shifts to one of exhaustion. "...Affirmative, Admiral. You are... possibly correct...
If José notices the discrepancy between Umi's words and tone, he doesn't mention it.
Instead, the human saunters the remaining 100 meters toward the Kessu's ship. Once he nears it, he raises an eyebrow.
"Oh? I thought you said this vessel came from the 14th Era? Its appearance mirrors craft from ten eras beyond. Were you, perhaps, mistaken?"
"Negative, Admiral. The Slipstream is a specially designed craft capable of adapting its shape and appearance by borrowing the design elements of other advanced vessels. Theoretically, it could mimic many aspects of the Bloodbearer, given enough research time.
José's expression shifts to one of surprise. "Ohh! An adaptive-type science vessel! I've heard of these! Supposedly, they can improve their programming and adjust their hulls over time to obtain ever-greater levels of utility. Admiral Baruchen mentioned the researchers at Rylon V made a few prototypes during our chats in the past. How fascinating. Well, why don't I introduce myself?"
With a bit of a spring in his step, José strides toward the entry port of the Slipstream. As he nears, the craft's entry bay lowers, revealing its interior. Before José can jog up the ramp, a host of strange, cat-like creatures appear at the top. The Admiral slows to a stop, as do the unfamiliar aliens.
Admiral José's heart skips a beat. These must be the Kessu! I bet they're also the 'Sky Cats' the Kraktol mentioned before. And no wonder! They look like large, bipedal breeds of various feline species from my era!
Slowly, the Kessu shamble down the ramp while keeping their eyes locked on the hulking, nine-foot-tall human at the bottom of the Slipstream's ramp.
As they draw near, a cat with colors resembling a panda, one who leans on a walking staff, raises his paw.
"Nyarr mrow meow prraw?"
A bio-chip embedded in José's brain translates for him. "Greetings. I am Nyoor of the Kessu."
A shiver runs down José's back. These... these Kessu... they're...
He swallows a lump in his throat. ...too damned cute! Next Part
....................................... Author Note: Klokinator here! I am also the author of The Cryopod to Hell. The Last Precursor takes place in the [Cryoverse] which TCTH spawned. You do not have to read TCTH to enjoy TLP. However, I highly recommend it if you enjoy HFY themes, but be warned it will take some 200 parts to get to the relevant HFY elements due to the nature of the story. (A similar structure involving very few humans fighting against vicious demons that have taken over the galaxy.) If you like this story, please consider subscribing to my Patreon! I am very poor and presently jobless due to Coronavirus, so every dollar helps. You get access to Cryopod artwork, and plenty of other exclusive posts, with more to come soon. Thank you!
Online gambling legislation and regulation. Starting your own gambling product.
| || | submitted by Fgfactory_ua to gamedev [link] [comments]
If you plan to develop an app with the ability to deposit and withdraw real money, then such a product automatically falls into the category of gambling and you will need to license your business for successful operation. Mobile and Web Based Apps
So let’s talk about the different kinds of online gambling apps available on web and mobile. We’ll be covering both free-play gaming apps and real money casino app games you can find for iOS, Android devices and web browsers.
Mobile gambling is more common for poker, casino, bingo, and skill games. They have advantages in terms of a low barrier to enter the market, instant liquidity, product knowledge, and marketing expertise, minimal infrastructure costs, and the ability to bring a brand to the market quickly. Consequently, this form of gambling does not sit neatly with jurisdictional boundaries. Multiple gambling opportunities are available, including betting on various events and markets, in a relatively simple format. Gambling products can also be integrated into betting on television shows or virtual racing and sports games as well as offering lotteries, bingo, poker and casino games. Most Popular Gambling Apps Sports betting, casino, poker and lotteries
are the most popular forms of online gambling. However, other forms are available too. These include the following: Bingo, slot machines, different card games, roulette and other game of chance. One of the best things about online gambling and betting apps is the number of choices you have.
Betting means making or accepting a bet on the outcome of a race, competition, or other event
or process, the likelihood of anything occurring or not occurring, or whether anything is or is not true. Today most sports betting is done via mobile-friendly sites and apps.
Today most sports betting is done via mobile-friendly sites and apps.
The introduction of live betting for sports like soccer and tennis
means that bettors who are sitting inside stadiums watching games can now pick up their mobile devices and find real-time betting value with the best sports gambling apps. This has really unlocked a door to the future of sports gambling and the popularity of online gambling apps.
Many sites offer free poker, where no real money is wagered, although in some cases players can accumulate credits that can be exchanged for prizes. This is the case why people are going to play for real money. There is an ongoing debate over whether poker should be classified as a game of chance or skill. The parameters of legal poker playing are still unclear and differ between jurisdictions. Since you are not gambling with money, I’m pretty sure under the law it’s just a video game for now.
Blackjack is the game of choice to many high-rollers and do you know why? Because blackjack is a challenging, logic and skill-based game where your thinking, strategy, and calculations determine the outcome of the game.
is one of the most popular and socially accepted games
in the world. Bingo is a traditional form of gambling that has seen considerable innovation in recent years. It is also the only form of gambling recognized in the Gambling Act that does not have a specific statutory definition
, the Act providing simply that “bingo” means “any version of that game, irrespective of by what name it is described”. Bingo must be played as an equal chance game. For game to be classed as “bingo” it must meet the Act’s definition of “equal chance gaming” (as opposed to casino gaming). Thus, it: must not involve playing or staking against a bank, and must be a game in which the chances are equally favorable to all participants in the sense that each ticket or chance has the same probability of success as any other.
Licensed bingo is a well-regulated and socially responsible form of gambling
that takes place in a safe environment. Many sites offer multiple forms of bingo with different features, types of games, and costs of play. These sites often cater specifically for women
and some research suggests that they may appeal to markets who would not typically engage in traditional forms of gambling.
Slot machine is one of the most beloved game among the gambling community and it has been a part of the industry for a long time. They provide fun and entertainment and their simplicity allows gamers to start playing at once. This can play out in different ways depending on the machine you’re playing. For instance, there’s Pick a Fortune, a five-reel, 20 line game that puts players right in the studio of a television game show, including the potential to play a Deal or No Deal-style bonus round. A super trend over the past few years is mobile-friendly slot games. These apps and websites were developed to enable players to enjoy their favorite games on their smartphones at any time. Another dominant slot trend is licensed branded slots that are based on popular movies, television, and musicians. Virtual Money vs Real Money
Let’s find out the difference between social gambling and real money gambling, as well as the differences between gambling through apps and gambling through a web browser. It can be quite confusing trawling through all the casinos, slots, and lotteries available, both through your mobile web browser as well as through mobile app stores, in the form of downloadable apps.
The main difference between virtual money and real money gambling is that the in-game virtual currency in social games and gambling-type games is used only like credits that are not paid out as winnings or anything given to player in cash, making these games exempt from gambling regulations.
Virtual money is loaded on user game accounts via in-app purchases in mobile applications or the game balance funding from a card via web based applications.
Real money gambling
Real money gambling via your mobile device is only allowed in countries where laws have been passed that allow for this type of gambling online, or there are no laws in place that prevent it. The payment systems are the legal way of services payment in the gambling app, performing as the intermediary between the gambling facility and the client. With their help, users replenish deposits and withdraw funds to personal accounts in financial institutions. If the application uses the payment system of a well-known brand, that gives players additional confidence in the resource. Nowadays, there is a wide range of payment systems, some of which operate all over the world, other systems are oriented towards the citizens of one or several countries. A number of services accept money of different world currencies, while others allow currency transactions of one state only. What is an Online Gambling Licensing
The internet has a global audience, there’s no single piece of legislation that covers the legality of online gambling for the entire world. Mobile gambling doesn’t typically accept customers from every single country in the world. It often focuses on certain specific regions.
Instead, most countries have their own local laws that deal with the relevant legal and regulatory issues.
Ultimately, questions of legality all go back to the location of the casino or where the website operates out of. In closed regulatory systems, such as Italy, France, and the Netherlands, licenses, and advertising rights are limited to domestic providers, which must be located within their country’s geographical boundaries and these are only permitted to offer some types of products. Some jurisdictions, for example, Norway, Sweden, and Canada legalize and regulate online gambling, but this is limited to a single site that is owned by the government. Under such an approach, the government becomes the operator and regulator and all revenues are returned to the government.
Remote gambling is generally permitted. That means that an operator that is licensed may provide gambling services to citizens in the country via all forms of remote communication (and using equipment that may be located in the country or abroad). Equally, a remote operator may be licensed to offer gambling services to citizens in any jurisdiction in the world using equipment located in the country
. The law provides that, for each type of gambling (betting, gaming, and participating in a lottery), there will be two forms of license available: remote and non-remote forms (land-based). If you provide facilities for remote gambling, online or through other means, and advertise to consumers you will need a license from the licensing jurisdictions or local licensing authorities. Before an online gambling site signs up its first customer, before it accepts its first bet before the first card is dealt, it must be licensed by a recognized governmental entity.
Certain regions in the world have specific legislation in place that allows them to license and regulate companies that operate online gambling sites or provide industry services (such as the supply of gaming software). These regions are referred to as online gambling jurisdictions or licensing jurisdictions.
Depending on what type of entertainment you are going to implement in your internet establishment, you will have to apply for the corresponding permissions. Online gambling laws in Europe vary from one country to the next. The industry is well regulated in some countries and less so in others. There are several online gambling jurisdictions located in Europe. Some of these are members of the European Union (EU), and thus subject to the various rules and regulations of that body, while others are independent. Each of these jurisdictions has an authority that’s responsible for approving gambling sites for licenses that enable them to offer their services legally. They also regulate their licensees. Countries that Provide Gambling Licensing
Today there are lots of licensing jurisdictions located all over the world and offering different terms for their customers. Depending on the country, licenses can be local, international (distributed in several countries), have a different set of documents for registration, costs of registration and further support, various operating conditions and other special details.
Which gambling license is both internationally recognized?
The government of Ireland
offers casino operators, software, and service providers in the gambling industry, with a gambling license that allows gambling operators to conduct business related to casino, lotto, and other gaming-related activities. Ireland Gambling License is one of the most popular license for online casinos worldwide. Ireland has long been recognized as one of the preferred locations for Online Gambling operators to base their operations. This success has been due to a combination of factors, such as a progressive legislative system, political stability, first-rate telecommunications facilities, and a well established financial services industry. A wide range of gambling sites operates out of Ireland including sports betting, casino sites, poker, bingo, and more.
In stark contrast, the UK
is the largest regulated market for online gambling in the world, and corporations are already comfortable exploiting the intersections of gambling and gaming, betting in-play, social gaming, Bitcoin, financial trading and spread betting, betting exchanges, e-sports and, most profitably, mobile gambling. 40% and 60% of online gambling in the UK took place in Gibraltar.
Europe is home to the following online gambling jurisdictions: Alderney, Gibraltar, Isle of Man, Malta
. Malta is currently the country that is most accommodating to gambling companies, and the license offers whitelisted online gambling in sports and casino games in many European territories. But takes an extreme amount of time in paperwork and background checks. Also, you pay 5% of all your gross profit to the EU.
Among countries offering gambling licensing services, the attention should be paid to Curaçao jurisdiction, which is considered to be one of the most promising for the online gaming business.
Curaçao Internet Gaming Association (also known as Curaçao eGaming) is both a regulator and a licensor, and its licensing works worldwide except Curaçao itself, USA, France and Netherlands. Using Curacao as an example, let us examine in detail the process of obtaining a license, the necessary documents and expenses. How to get a License on Curaçao
- Documents necessary for company registration:
- criminal record;
- passport scans;
- bank account confirmation;
- documents proving payments for utility services.
After the company is registered, an operator can apply for the license providing the following documents:
- a document certifying the right of domain possession;
- description of games planned to be used in the project;
- a list indicating countries of potential operation;
- illustration of server locations to be used in the project;
- a copy of the agreement with a software provider.
Gambling license cost:
- Bank account opening $1000
- Company registration $3600
- Company management per year $3600
- Application processing fee $1000
- License fee per year $4800
- Equipment/software fee starting from $1500
- Server maintenance per year $6000
Apart from that pay for technical support and maintenance every year. The entire license issuing process takes between 2-4 weeks. Curacao Internet Gaming Association (CIGA)
also has the power to review a license and, if it finds that an operator has breached a license condition, has the power to impose a range of sanctions including revocation of the license. Apple and Google Gambling Rules
You’ll be surprised at the limited number of real money gambling app options available on the AppStore and Google Play Store. Most real money casino gaming is done through gambler’s mobile web browsers and not through mobile gambling apps that you’ll find for iPhone and Android phones. Apple allows online gambling applications in a few forms, and not just in places where it is explicitly permitted. They do not allow any payments through the applications – those have to be done on the websites. Apple has far stricter developer guidelines for iOS apps than Google does for Android apps, so it’s fine to assume that whatever you choose to download from iTunes is usually safe, secure, and meets a certain standard.
Any real money casino in the iTunes app is required to have proper licensing and permissions before Apple will approve the app for use or downloads. While Google Play is technically regulated, it is much more loose in what can be hosted.
Gambling, gaming, and lotteries can be tricky to manage and tend to be one of the most-regulated offerings on the App Store. Apple has rules
for apps that support real money wagering, including sports betting and poker. Those apps and lotteries must have necessary licensing and permissions in the locations where the App is used, must be geo-restricted to those locations, and must be free on the App Store, and Apple rate even simulated gambling apps as appropriate only for users 17-years-old and up.
Google keeps the reigns tight. To be able to successfully upload apps to the Google Play store, developers need to have a valid license
for the specific countries they are targeting and comply with their regulations. The app must be free to download and must prevent under-age users from gambling in the app. As a final precaution, all gambling apps are required to display prominent information regarding responsible gambling practices. This brings its policy in line with the Apple App Store. Countries where gambling is illegal
It is also important to remember that while gambling is growing rapidly in many places, in others it is totally or partially prohibited. As well as in the majority of the US, sports betting is illegal in India, Pakistan, and China, three of the largest gambling markets in the world. Most countries have rules against gambling. Almost all Islamic countries prohibit gambling of every kind, but many turn a blind eye to online gambling or simply do not have regulations in place for this grey area.
In the United Arab Emirates
, however, any kind of gambling is prosecuted. National lotteries are the only legal forms of wagering on the Asian country’s mainland. Cambodia
, North Korea
strictly forbids online and offline gambling amongst its own citizens but allows tourists to participate in these activities. Qatar
is the strictest country of all when it comes to gambling laws. All forms of gambling activities are considered illegal, and even sports betting is not permissible. Starting your own gambling product
Numerous online casino platforms in the market offer fantastic casino games like bingo, poker, roulette, and many more.
If you have an idea, but don’t know where to start, we advise you begin with a Minimal Viable Product (MVP) to pilot your proof of concept for investors. MVP spotlights your core features and lets your investors know there are bigger and better things to come.
For MVP you do not need a large team, just a few people are enough to create a fully functioning prototype. In the case of successful numbers of your prototype, the further development of a full-fledged product will require more team, resources and time, however you will be sure that your development and your costs will pay off.
Basic foundational metrics for measuring your relative sports betting performance
Measuring Returns submitted by cleatstreet to sportsbook [link] [comments]
Understanding how to measure your performance is a crucial element of being a successful sports bettor. With varying odds and bet allocations, it’s not as simple as just counting your wins and losses. You can win 80% of your wagers, but if those bets were made at poor odds or you had poor bankroll management, you could still have disastrous results.
What you need to measure is your return on investment (“ROI”). In the finance world, ROI is defined as a measurement of the gain or loss generated on investment, relative to the amount of money invested.
For example, if you bought Amazon stock at $1,000 per share and it’s currently trading at $1,900 per share, you would say that investment has an ROI of 90% (($1900 - $1,000) / $1,000). Pretty straightforward calculation.
In sports betting, however, there is often confusion regarding how to measure ROI. Wager ROI
In the 2019 MLB season, Aaron and I wagered around $1.39 million across approximately 800 games. When it was all said and done, we had made approximately $113 thousand. If you divide $113 thousand by $1.39 million, you get 8.1%. Is this our ROI?
If you ask the average sports bettor, they would say yes. If you ask the average finance professional, they would probably ask you “well, how much money did you start with?”
We’re going to define that 8.1% (Net Win / Wagered Amount) as our Wager ROI. For every dollar that we wagered, we made around 8.1 cents. Wager ROI = [Net Win / Wagered Amount] Portfolio ROI
We didn't start the 2019 season with a bankroll of $1.39 million, however.
We started with $130 thousand. And we ended with $243 thousand.
Yes, we wagered significantly more than our bankroll. But we started this endeavor with an investment of $130,000. Thus, by the financial definition of ROI, we had an ROI of approximately 87%. To avoid confusion with Wager ROI (and an unnecessary argument from sports bettors), we will define this as our Portfolio ROI. Calculations as follows: Portfolio ROI = [Ending Investment / Starting Investment – 1] Cash Turnover Ratio
So how did we wager $1.39 million when we only started with $130,000? Well one of the beauties of sports betting (besides futures) is that the outcome of a wager is determined quickly (~24hrs for MLB, a week for NFL). When you win a game, your sports betting account is credited, and you can then use those proceeds to bet on something else.
How efficiently we use our bankroll is something we’re going to call Cash Turnover Ratio. The Cash Turnover Ratio is the amount of wagers placed, divided by the average portfolio balance over the measurement period.
For simplicity, it’s best to calculate your average portfolio balance as the average between your starting and ending bankroll. Cash Turnover Ratio = [Wagered Amount / ((Starting Portfolio + Ending Portfolio) / 2)]
Our Cash Turnover Ratio for the 2019 baseball season was 7.4x as calculated below:
7.4x = $1.39 million / [($130k + $243k) / 2]
The Cash Turnover Ratio is a measurement of how efficiently we are using our capital. If we had an average portfolio balance of $10 million and only wagered $1.39 million, that would be a very inefficient use of our capital. The only way to increase our Cash Turnover Ratio is to 1) increase our wager size or 2) place more wagers. Of course, increasing our wager size increases our risk and methods such as at Kelly Criterion give us the framework to optimize our bet allocation. Performance Objective
So what should be our objective? To maximize our Wager ROI? To maximize our Portfolio ROI? Each person is different, but we prioritize Portfolio ROI over Wager ROI.
There’s always going to be a tradeoff between Wager ROI and the number of wagers you play (and therefore your Cash Turnover Ratio). Let’s say you only bet the most select wagers and are able to hit 60% against -110 lines. You would be sporting a very impressive 14.5% Wager ROI, but you could likely improve your Portfolio ROI by being less selective and betting the games that you may only win at a 55% clip.
Your Wager ROI would decrease, but the increased volume would increase your Portfolio ROI.
So maximizing Portfolio ROI is a better strategy than maximizing Wager ROI, but is it our performance objective? Risk Adjusted Returns
Simply, no. What we haven’t addressed yet is the riskiness of a betting strategy.
For example – Bettor 1 has $10,000 and decides to make five $2,000 wagers at -110 over the course of a week. Bettor 1 wins three and lose two, winning a net $1,455, which is good for a Wager ROI of 14.5% and a Portfolio ROI of 14.5%.
Alternatively – Bettor 2 also has $10,000 and makes 50 wagers of $200 instead, winning 30 and losing 20 over the same one-week period. Bettor 2 also has a Wager ROI of 14.5% and a Portfolio ROI of 14.5%. Do Bettor 1 and Bettor 2 do have equally strong betting strategies? Absolutely not.
Bettor 2 was able to achieve the same returns as Bettor 1 but assumed a lot less risk in the process. We can borrow another concept from the financial realm to assess risk-adjusted performance. The Sharpe Ratio
I’ll save you the boring history and definition of the Sharpe Ratio, but it is essentially a measurement of investment performance compared to a risk-free asset, after adjusting for risk. The Sharpe Ratio represents the additional return generated for an incremental unit of risk.
Risk is generally measured as the standard deviation of returns.
For our purposes, we will assume the risk-free asset to have a return of 0.0% given that these bets are short-term securities (and Treasuries are yielding next to nothing).
We can use the Sharpe Ratio to assess the performance of each Bettor. In the table below, we’ve compared Bettor 1 with Bettor 2. Comparison of Strategies
The big difference between the two bettors is that Bettor 1 assumed a lot more risk with 1) larger bets and therefore a higher standard deviation. As a result, Bettor 2 has a much higher Sharpe ratio than Bettor 1.
You can download a workbook with the above calculations along with a more realistic example of differing betting strategies. Simply replace the shaded cells with your own data to calculate your own Sharpe Ratio. PM me if you want the workbook, or we can migrate it to a google sheet if enough people are interested.
[Ultimate Guide] Keto Diet For Beginners 2020
submitted by im-rockstar to ketogenic_diet [link] [comments]
A SHORT INTRODUCTION :
It’s all the rage. The internet is filled with stories of how everyone from movie stars to ordinary people have shed stubborn pounds with the ketogenic diet. Some suggest that this eating pattern also may be helpful for managing diabetes and warding off Alzheimer’s disease. So, is it a miracle diet or just the latest fad?
WHAT IS A KETOGENIC DIET :
A “typical” ketogenic diet consists of at least 70 percent of calories derived from fat, less than 10 percent from carbs and less than 20 percent from protein. The ketogenic diet, long used to treat epilepsy in children, calls for 90 percent of daily calories to come from fat, with the amount of protein or carbs varying as long as it’s 4 grams of fat for every combined 1 gram of carb and protein, according to the American Epilepsy Society. That can mean chowing down on a lot of cheese, butter, eggs, nuts, salmon, bacon, olive oil and non-starchy vegetables such as broccoli, cauliflower, greens and spinach. For the arithmetic-challenged, apps and online programs can do the math for you. (No matter what, the keto diet is vastly different than the USDA dietary recommendations of 45 to 65 percent of one’s total calories to be carbohydrates, 20 to 35 percent from fat and 10 to 35 percent from protein.)
The goal of the ketogenic diet is to enter a state of ketosis through fat metabolism. In a ketogenic state, the body uses primarily fat for energy instead of carbohydrates; with low levels of carbohydrate, fats can be converted into ketones to fuel the body.
For ketosis, a typical adult must stay below 20 to 50 grams of net carbohydrates — measured as total carbs minus fiber — each day. Crossing that threshold is easy: a thick slice of bread adds 21 carbohydrates, a medium apple 25 and a cup of milk 12. “It’s very restrictive,” said Carla Prado, an associate professor and director of the University of Alberta’s Human Nutrition Research Unit. It’s not just bread and soda that are on the outs but high-sugar fruit and starchy veggies like potatoes, as well as too much protein. Also, dieters have to be on high alert for hidden carbs, often invisible to the eye, yet coating that seemingly keto-friendly fried cheese.
How the Keto Diet Works
The ketogenic diet is a high fat, moderate protein, low carbohydrate eating pattern, which differs from general, healthful eating recommendations. Many nutrient-rich foods are sources of carbohydrates, including fruits, vegetables, whole grains, milk and yogurt. On a keto diet, carbs from all sources are severely restricted. With the goal of keeping carbs below 50 grams per day, keto dieters often consume no breads, grains or cereals. And, even fruits and vegetables are limited because they, too, contain carbs. For most people, the keto diet requires making big shifts in how they usually eat.
Can I lose weight on the keto diet?
Yes. Certainly in the short-term, it appears that way. For the first two to six months, there’s evidence that a very low-carbohydrate diet can help you lose more weight than the standard high-carbohydrate, low-fat diet, according to a new literature review of low-carb diets by the National Lipid Association.
“By 12 months, that advantage is essentially gone,” said Carol F. Kirkpatrick, director of Idaho State University’s Wellness Center, and lead author of the new literature review.
After that, weight loss seems to equalize between those two popular diet regimens. She said keto was best used to kick-start a diet, before transitioning to a carb intake that you can adhere to for the longer term.
How long does it take to see results on the keto diet?
For some, it’s the promised land of diets. Instead of cringing through carrot sticks, they can fill up guilt-free on chorizo with scrambled eggs. Indeed, some evidence suggests that people feel less hungry while in ketosis, and have fewer cravings.
“That’s why it’s become so popular for the general population,” said Dr. Mackenzie C. Cervenka, medical director of Johns Hopkins Hospital’s Adult Epilepsy Diet Center. “Because once you are in ketosis, it’s easy to follow.” Usually, it takes between one to four days to enter the state, doctors say, but it depends on many factors like activity level: a runner, for example, may sprint there faster than a couch potato.
The keto diet appears to deliver fast results: The first pounds may seem to slip off. That can be seductive but it’s likely water weight. Then, dietitians say, it’s back to energy in minus energy out. You can absolutely gain weight on any diet if you’re consuming 5,000 calories a day, according to Dr. Linsenmeyer, who is also director of Saint Louis University’s Didactic Program in Dietetics.
“It’s not like it is going to magically alter your metabolism to where calories don’t matter anymore,” she said. And when resuming the carbs, that water weight returns.
WHAT TO EAT ON A KETOGENIC DIET :
A ketogenic diet typically limits carbs to 20–50 grams per day. While this may seem challenging, many nutritious foods can easily fit into this way of eating.
Here are 16 healthy foods to eat on a ketogenic diet. 1. Seafood
Fish and shellfish are very keto-friendly foods. Salmon and other fish are rich in B vitamins, potassium and selenium, yet virtually carb-free).
However, the carbs in different types of shellfish vary. For instance, while shrimp and most crabs contain no carbs, other types of shellfish do.
While these shellfish can still be included on a ketogenic diet, it's important to account for these carbs when you're trying to stay within a narrow range.
Here are the carb counts for 3.5-ounce (100-gram) servings of some popular types of shellfish.
● Clams: 5 grams
● Mussels: 7 grams
● Octopus: 4 grams
● Oysters: 4 grams
● Squid: 3 grams
Salmon, sardines, mackerel and other fatty fish are very high in omega-3 fats, which have been found to lower insulin levels and increase insulin sensitivity in overweight and obese people.
In addition, frequent fish intake has been linked to a decreased risk of disease and improved mental health.
Aim to consume at least two servings of seafood weekly. 2. Low-Carb Vegetables
Non-starchy vegetables are low in calories and carbs, but high in many nutrients, including vitamin C and several minerals.
Vegetables and other plants contain fiber, which your body doesn't digest and absorb like other carbs.
Therefore, look at their digestible (or net) carb count, which is total carbs minus fiber.
Most vegetables contain very few net carbs. However, consuming one serving of "starchy" vegetables like potatoes, yams or beets could put you over your entire carb limit for the day.
The net carb count for non-starchy vegetables ranges from less than 1 gram for 1 cup of raw spinach to 8 grams for 1 cup of cooked Brussels sprouts.
Vegetables also contain antioxidants that help protect against free radicals, which are unstable molecules that can cause cell damage.
What's more, cruciferous vegetables like kale, broccoli and cauliflower have been linked to decreased cancer and heart disease risk.
Low-carb veggies make great substitutes for higher-carb foods. For instance, cauliflower can be used to mimic rice or mashed potatoes, "zoodles" can be created from zucchini and spaghetti squash is a natural substitute for spaghetti. 3. Cheese
Cheese is both nutritious and delicious.
There are hundreds of types of cheese. Fortunately, all of them are very low in carbs and high in fat, which makes them a great fit for a ketogenic diet.
One ounce (28 grams) of cheddar cheese provides 1 gram of carbs, 7 grams of protein and 20% of the RDI for calcium.
Cheese is high in saturated fat, but it hasn't been shown to increase the risk of heart disease. In fact, some studies suggest that cheese may help protect against heart disease.
Cheese also contains conjugated linoleic acid, which is a fat that has been linked to fat loss and improvements in body composition.
In addition, eating cheese regularly may help reduce the loss of muscle mass and strength that occurs with aging.
A 12-week study in older adults found that those who consumed 7 ounces (210 grams) of ricotta cheese per day experienced increases in muscle mass and muscle strength over the course of the study 4. Avocados
Avocados are incredibly healthy.
3.5 ounces (100 grams), or about one-half of a medium avocado, contain 9 grams of carbs.
However, 7 of these are fiber, so its net carb count is only 2 grams.
Avocados are high in several vitamins and minerals, including potassium, an important mineral many people may not get enough of. What's more, a higher potassium intake may help make the transition to a ketogenic diet easier.
In addition, avocados may help improve cholesterol and triglyceride levels.
In one study, when people consumed a diet high in avocados, they experienced a 22% decrease in "bad" LDL cholesterol and triglycerides and an 11% increase in "good" HDL cholesterol. 5. Meat and Poultry
Meat and poultry are considered staple foods on a ketogenic diet.
Fresh meat and poultry contain no carbs and are rich in B vitamins and several minerals, including potassium, selenium and zinc .
They're also a great source of high-quality protein, which has been shown to help preserve muscle mass during a very low-carb diet.
One study in older women found that consuming a diet high in fatty meat led to HDL cholesterol levels that were 8% higher than on a low-fat, high-carb diet.
It's best to choose grass-fed meat, if possible. That's because animals that eat grass produce meat with higher amounts of omega-3 fats, conjugated linoleic acid and antioxidants than meat from grain-fed animals 6. Eggs
Eggs are one of the healthiest and most versatile foods on the planet.
One large egg contains less than 1 gram of carbs and fewer than 6 grams of protein, making eggs an ideal food for a ketogenic lifestyle.
In addition, eggs have been shown to trigger hormones that increase feelings of fullness and keep blood sugar levels stable, leading to lower calorie intakes for up to 24 hours.
It's important to eat the entire egg, as most of an egg's nutrients are found in the yolk. This includes the antioxidants lutein and zeaxanthin, which help protect eye health.
Although egg yolks are high in cholesterol, consuming them doesn't raise blood cholesterol levels in most people. In fact, eggs appear to modify the shape of LDL in a way that reduces the risk of heart disease. 7. Coconut Oil
Coconut oil has unique properties that make it well suited for a ketogenic diet.
To begin with, it contains medium-chain triglycerides (MCTs). Unlike long-chain fats, MCTs are taken up directly by the liver and converted into ketones or used as a rapid source of energy.
In fact, coconut oil has been used to increase ketone levels in people with Alzheimer's disease and other disorders of the brain and nervous system.
The main fatty acid in coconut oil is lauric acid, a slightly longer-chain fat. It has been suggested that coconut oil's mix of MCTs and lauric acid may promote a sustained level of ketosis.
What's more, coconut oil may help obese adults lose weight and belly fat. In one study, men who ate 2 tablespoons (30 ml) of coconut oil per day lost 1 inch (2.5 cm), on average, from their waistlines without making any other dietary changes. 8. Plain Greek Yogurt and Cottage Cheese
Plain Greek yogurt and cottage cheese are healthy, high-protein foods.
While they contain some carbs, they can still be included in a ketogenic lifestyle.
5 ounces (150 grams) of plain Greek yogurt provides 5 grams of carbs and 11 grams of protein. That amount of cottage cheese provides 5 grams of carbs and 18 grams of protein.
Both yogurt and cottage cheese have been shown to help decrease appetite and promote feelings of fullness.
Either one makes a tasty snack on its own.
However, both can also be combined with chopped nuts, cinnamon and optional sugar-free sweetener for a quick and easy keto treat. 9. Olive Oil
Olive oil provides impressive benefits for your heart.
It's high in oleic acid, a monounsaturated fat that has been found to decrease heart disease risk factors in many studies.
In addition, extra-virgin olive oil is high in antioxidants known as phenols. These compounds further protect heart health by decreasing inflammation and improving artery function.
As a pure fat source, olive oil contains no carbs. It's an ideal base for salad dressings and healthy mayonnaise.
Because it isn't as stable as saturated fats at high temperatures, it's best to use olive oil for low-heat cooking or add it to foods after they have been cooked. 10. Nuts and Seeds
Nuts and seeds are healthy, high-fat and low-carb foods.
Frequent nut consumption has been linked to a reduced risk of heart disease, certain cancers, depression and other chronic diseases.
Furthermore, nuts and seeds are high in fiber, which can help you feel full and absorb fewer calories overall.
Although all nuts and seeds are low in net carbs, the amount varies quite a bit among the different types.
Here are the carb counts for 1 ounce (28 grams) of some popular nuts and seeds:
● Almonds: 3 grams net carbs (6 grams total carbs)
● Brazil nuts: 1 gram net carbs (3 grams total carbs)
● Cashews: 8 grams net carbs (9 grams total carbs)
● Macadamia nuts: 2 grams net carbs (4 grams total carbs)
● Pecans: 1 gram net carbs (4 grams total carbs)
● Pistachios: 5 grams net carbs (8 grams total carbs)
● Walnuts: 2 grams net carbs (4 grams total carbs)
● Chia seeds: 1 gram net carbs (12 grams total carbs)
● Flaxseeds: 0 grams net carbs (8 grams total carbs)
● Pumpkin seeds: 4 grams net carbs (5 grams total carbs)
● Sesame seeds: 3 grams net carbs (7 grams total carbs) 11. Berries
Most fruits are too high in carbs to include on a ketogenic diet, but berries are an exception.
Berries are low in carbs and high in fiber.
In fact, raspberries and blackberries contain as much fiber as digestible carbs.
These tiny fruits are loaded with antioxidants that have been credited with reducing inflammation and protecting against disease.
Here are the carb counts for 3.5 ounces (100 grams) of some berries:
● Blackberries: 5 grams net carbs (10 grams total carbs)
● Blueberries: 12 grams net carbs (14 grams total carbs)
● Raspberries: 6 grams net carbs (12 grams total carbs)
● Strawberries: 6 grams net carbs (8 grams total carbs) 12. Butter and Cream
Butter and cream are good fats to include on a ketogenic diet. Each contains only trace amounts of carbs per serving.
For many years, butter and cream were believed to cause or contribute to heart disease due to their high saturated fat contents. However, several large studies have shown that, for most people, saturated fat isn't linked to heart disease.
In fact, some studies suggest that a moderate consumption of high-fat dairy may possibly reduce the risk of heart attack and stroke.
Like other fatty dairy products, butter and cream are rich in conjugated linoleic acid, the fatty acid that may promote fat loss. 13. Shirataki Noodles
Shirataki noodles are a fantastic addition to a ketogenic diet.
They contain less than 1 gram of carbs and 5 calories per serving because they are mainly water.
In fact, these noodles are made from a viscous fiber called glucomannan, which can absorb up to 50 times its weight in water.
Viscous fiber forms a gel that slows down food's movement through your digestive tract. This can help decrease hunger and blood sugar spikes, making it beneficial for weight loss and diabetes management.
Shirataki noodles come in a variety of shapes, including rice, fettuccine and linguine. They can be substituted for regular noodles in all types of recipes. 14. Olives
Olives provide the same health benefits as olive oil, only in solid form.
Oleuropein, the main antioxidant found in olives, has anti-inflammatory properties and may protect your cells from damage.
In addition, studies suggest that consuming olives may help prevent bone loss and decrease blood pressure.
Olives vary in carb content due to their size. However, half of their carbs come from fiber, so their digestible carb content is very low.
A one-ounce (28-gram) serving of olives contains 2 grams of total carbs and 1 gram of fiber. This works out to a net carb count of 1 gram for 7–10 olives, depending on their size. 15. Unsweetened Coffee and Tea
Coffee and tea are incredibly healthy, carb-free drinks.
They contain caffeine, which increases your metabolism and may improve your physical performance, alertness and mood.
What's more, coffee and tea drinkers have been shown to have a significantly reduced risk of diabetes. In fact, those with the highest coffee and tea intakes have the lowest risk of developing diabetes.
Adding heavy cream to coffee or tea is fine, but stay away from "light" coffee and tea lattes. These are typically made with non-fat milk and contain high-carb flavorings. 16. Dark Chocolate and Cocoa Powder
Dark chocolate and cocoa are delicious sources of antioxidants.
In fact, cocoa has been called a "super fruit," because it provides at least as much antioxidant activity as any other fruit, including blueberries and acai berries.
Dark chocolate contains flavanols, which may reduce the risk of heart disease by lowering blood pressure and keeping arteries healthy.
Somewhat surprisingly, chocolate can be part of a ketogenic diet. However, it's important to choose dark chocolate that contains a minimum of 70% cocoa solids, preferably more.
One ounce (28 grams) of unsweetened chocolate (100% cocoa) has 3 grams of net carbs. The same amount of 70–85% dark chocolate contains up to 10 grams of net carbs.
FOOD TO AVOID ON A KETOGENIC DIET : Grains
The key to a successful keto diet is simple—limit your carb intake and get the majority of your calories from fat. The problem with grains is that they are filled with carbohydrates, which can hurt your keto progress. It’s best to avoid grains altogether if possible, especially these:
● Flour & corn tortillas
● Sandwich wraps
Pro tip: It’s important to remember that bread, pasta, cookies, crackers, or pizza crusts made from any of these types of grains will also result in high carb counts
While it may seem a bit surprising to see fruits appear on a “foods to avoid on keto” list, several fruits are high in sugar and carbs. Your best bet is to reach for low glycemic fruits such as blackberries, blueberries, raspberries, strawberries, and tomatoes. Olives and avocados are also excellent sources of healthy fat. It is best avoid fruits such as:
● Fruit Juices
● Dried fruits such as raisins, dates, and dried mango
● Fruit smoothies (carb count will vary by fruits used)
● All fruit juices (excluding lemon and lime juice)
Pro Tip: Avoid frozen fruits that may have been sweetened as they tend to have higher carb counts. Vegetables
When it comes to vegetables, the keto rule of thumb is to avoid any veggies that grow beneath the ground. Avoid vegetables with a high starch content, as they contain the most carbs. It is best if you aim to consume around 12-15g net carbs from vegetables per day, and here are the keto diet foods to avoid:
● Sweet potatoes
● Baked potatoes
● Cassava (Yuca)
Pro tip: Watch out for casseroles and other types of pre-made foods that contain these vegetables, increasing the carb count. Legumes
Leguminous plants such as beans and peas are typically high in protein and other vital nutrients. But because they are high in carbs, they are another type of ketogenic diet food to avoid:
● Baked beans
● Lima beans
● Pinto beans
● Black beans
● Black-eyed peas
● Green peas
● Kidney beans
● Cannellini beans
● Great Northern beans
● Lima beans
● Navy beans
Dairy is typically a low carb food group when eaten in moderation. However, it is important to remember that dairy does contain carbs, so try to limit your intake to no more than 3-4 ounces per day. Here are some dairy foods to avoid on keto:
● Most milks
● Condensed milk
● Creamed cottage cheese
● Fat-free or low-fat yogurt
Having adequate protein intake on a keto diet is critical for maintaining muscle mass. Fish and poultry are two great sources of protein that are low in carbs. Typically on a keto diet, you want to opt for fattier cuts of meat like ribeye steaks, chicken thighs, and fatty fish like salmon. Our recommendation would be to avoid or limit processed meats, specifically:
● Bacon with added sugar
● Breaded meats
● Other processed meats that may contain hidden carbs
Oils and other unhealthy fats
Consuming a healthy amount of fat is an integral part of Atkins and any keto diet. Although these oils may be carb free, the recommended intake for added fats is 2-4 tablespoons daily. Pro tip: Do not allow any oils to reach overly high temperatures when cooking, and only use walnut or sesame oil to dress cooked veggies or salad (but not for cooking). Beverages
Pay close attention to what you drink, as drinks are often a significant source of hidden sugars and carbs. A majority of your liquid consumption should come from water, as you should be drinking 6 to 8 glasses of water daily. The following beverages should be avoided while following Atkins keto:
● Hot Chocolate
● Ginger Ale
● Grape Soda
● Root Beer
● Tonic Water (Not sugar-free)
● Energy Drinks (Not sugar-free)
● Sports Drinks
● Vitamin Water
● Fruit juices
● Sweetened iced tea
● Non-light beers
● Cocktails such as margaritas, screwdrivers, and piña coladas
1. The "keto flu"
“Some people report that when they start ketosis, they just feel sick,” says Kristen Kizer, RD, a nutritionist at Houston Methodist Medical Center. “There can sometimes be vomit, gastrointestinal distress, a lot of fatigue, and lethargy.” This so-called keto flu
usually passes after a few days, she adds.
Josh Axe, a doctor of natural medicine and clinical nutritionist, estimates that about 25% of people who try a keto diet experience these symptoms, with fatigue being the most common. “That happens because your body runs out of sugar to burn for energy, and it has to start using fat,” he says. “That transition alone is enough to make your body feel tired for a few days.”
You may be able to minimize the effects of keto flu by drinking plenty of water and getting plenty of sleep. Axe, who sells keto-related supplements on his website, also recommends incorporating natural energy sources to battle fatigue, like matcha green tea, organic coffee, or adaptogenic herbs.
If you find yourself running to the bathroom more often while on a ketogenic diet, a quick internet search will show you that you’re not alone. (Yes, people are tweeting about keto diarrhea.) This may be due to the gallbladder—the organ that produces bile to help break down fat in the diet—feeling “overwhelmed,” says Axe.
Diarrhea can also be due to a lack of fiber in the keto diet, says Kizer, which can happen when someone cuts way back on carbs (like whole-grain bread and pasta) and doesn’t supplement with other fiber-rich foods, like vegetables. It can also be caused by an intolerance to dairy or artificial sweeteners—things you might be eating more of since switching to a high-fat, low-carb lifestyle.
3. Reduced athletic performance
Some athletes swear by the ketogenic diet, not just for weight loss but for improved performance in their sport, as well. But Edward Weiss, PhD, associate professor of nutrition and dietetics at Saint Louis University, doesn’t buy it. “I hear cyclists say all the time that they’re faster and better now that they’re on the keto diet, and my first question is, 'Well, how much weight did you lose?'” he says.
In a recent study in the Journal of Sports Medicine and Physical Fitness
, Weiss and his colleagues found that participants performed worse on high-intensity cycling and running tasks after four days on a ketogenic diet, compared to those who’d spent four days on a high-carb diet. Weiss says that the body is in a more acidic state when it’s in ketosis, which may limit its ability to perform at peak levels.
“Just losing a few pounds is enough to give you a huge advantage on the bike, but I’m very concerned that people are attributing the benefits of weight loss to something specific in the ketogenic diet,” Weiss continues. “In reality, the benefits of weight loss could be at least partially canceled out by reductions in performance.”
If you have type 1 or type 2 diabetes, you shouldn’t follow the keto diet unless you have your doctor’s permission and close supervision, says Kizer. “Ketosis can actually be helpful for people who have hyperglycemia issues, but you have to be very mindful of your blood sugar and check your glucose levels several times a day,” she says.
That’s because, for people with diabetes, ketosis can trigger a dangerous condition called ketoacidosis. This occurs when the body stores up too many ketones—acids produced as a byproduct of burning fat—and the blood becomes too acidic, which can damage the liver, kidneys, and brain. Left untreated, it can be fatal.
Ketoacidosis has also been reported in people without
diabetes who were following low-carb diets, although this complication is quite rare. Symptoms of ketoacidosis include a dry mouth, frequent urination, nausea, bad breath, and breathing difficulties; if you experience these while following the keto diet, check in with a doctor right away.
5. Weight regain
Because the keto diet is so restrictive, health experts say it’s not an appropriate plan to follow long-term. (Even Axe says it’s best done for 30 to 90 days, followed by a more sustainable diet plan.) But the problem with that, says Kizer, is that most people will regain a lot of the weight they lost as soon as they go back on carbs.
“It’s an issue with any fad diet, but it seems to be extra common with ketosis,” says Kizer. “When people tell me they want to try it because their friends lost weight, I always tell them, 'Just watch, I almost guarantee that they’ll gain it all back.’”
These types of back-and-forth weight fluctuations can contribute to disordered eating, Kizer says, or can worsen an already unhealthy relationship with food. “I think the keto diet appeals to people who have issues with portion control and with binge eating,” she says. "And in many cases, what they really need is a lifestyle coach or a professional counselor to help them get to the bottom of those issues."
6. Less muscle mass, decreased metabolism
Another consequence of keto-related weight changes can be a loss of muscle mass, says Kizer—especially if you’re eating much more fat than protein. “You’ll lose weight, but it might actually be a lot of muscle,” she says, “and because muscle burns more calories than fat, that will affect your metabolism.”
When a person goes off the ketogenic diet and regains much of their original weight, it’s often not in the same proportions, says Kizer: Instead of regaining lean muscle, you’re likely to regain fat. “Now you’re back to your starting weight, but you no longer have the muscle mass to burn the calories that you did before,” she says. “That can have lasting effects on your resting metabolic rate, and on your weight long-term.”
BENEFITS OF A KETOGENIC DIET :
1. Low-Carb Diets Reduce Your Appetite
Hunger tends to be the worst side effect of dieting.
It is one of the main reasons why many people feel miserable and eventually give up.
However, low-carb eating leads to an automatic reduction in appetite.
Studies consistently show that when people cut carbs and eat more protein and fat, they end up eating far fewer calories.
2. Low-Carb Diets Lead to More Weight Loss at First
Cutting carbs is one of the simplest and most effective ways to lose weight.
Studies illustrate that people on low-carb diets lose more weight, faster, than those on low-fat diets — even when the latter are actively restricting calories.
This is because low-carb diets act to rid excess water from your body, lowering insulin levels and leading to rapid weight loss in the first week or two.
In studies comparing low-carb and low-fat diets, people restricting their carbs sometimes lose 2–3 times as much weight — without being hungry.
One study in obese adults found a low-carb diet particularly effective for up to six months, compared to a conventional weight loss diet. After that, the difference in weight loss between diets was insignificant.
In a year-long study in 609 overweight adults on low-fat or low-carb diets, both groups lost similar amounts of weight.
3. A Greater Proportion of Fat Loss Comes From Your Abdominal Cavity
Not all fat in your body is the same.
Where fat is stored determines how it affects your health and risk of disease.
The two main types are subcutaneous fat, which is under your skin, and visceral fat, which accumulates in your abdominal cavity and is typical for most overweight men.
Visceral fat tends to lodge around your organs. Excess visceral fat is associated with inflammation and insulin resistance — and may drive the metabolic dysfunction so common in the West today.
Low-carb diets are very effective at reducing this harmful abdominal fat. In fact, a greater proportion of the fat people lose on low-carb diets seems to come from the abdominal cavity.
Over time, this should lead to a drastically reduced risk of heart disease and type 2 diabetes.
4. Triglycerides Tend to Drop Drastically
Triglycerides are fat molecules that circulate in your bloodstream.
It is well known that high fasting triglycerides — levels in the blood after an overnight fast — are a strong heart disease risk factor.
One of the main drivers of elevated triglycerides in sedentary people is carb consumption — especially the simple sugar.
When people cut carbs, they tend to experience a very dramatic reduction in blood triglycerides.
On the other hand, low-fat diets often cause triglycerides to increase.
5. Increased Levels of 'Good' HDL Cholesterol
High-density lipoprotein (HDL) is often called the “good” cholesterol.
The higher your levels of HDL relative to “bad” LDL, the lower your risk of heart disease.
One of the best ways to increase “good” HDL levels is to eat fat — and low-carb diets include a lot of fat.
Therefore, it is unsurprising that HDL levels increase dramatically on healthy, low-carb diets, while they tend to increase only moderately or even decline on low-fat diets.
6. Reduced Blood Sugar and Insulin Levels
Low-carb and ketogenic diets can also be particularly helpful for people with diabetes and insulin resistance, which affect millions of people worldwide.
Studies prove that cutting carbs lowers both blood sugar and insulin levels drastically.
Some people with diabetes who begin a low-carb diet may need to reduce their insulin dosage by 50% almost immediately.
In one study in people with type 2 diabetes, 95% had reduced or eliminated their glucose-lowering medication within six months.
If you take blood sugar medication, talk to your doctor before making changes to your carb intake, as your dosage may need to be adjusted to prevent hypoglycemia.
7. May Lower Blood Pressure
Elevated blood pressure, or hypertension, is a significant risk factor for many diseases, including heart disease, stroke and kidney failure.
Low-carb diets are an effective way to lower blood pressure, which should reduce your risk of these diseases and help you live longer.
8. Effective Against Metabolic Syndrome
Metabolic syndrome is a condition highly associated with your risk of diabetes and heart disease.
In fact, metabolic syndrome is a collection of symptoms, which include:
● Abdominal obesity
● Elevated blood pressure
● Elevated fasting blood sugar levels
● High triglycerides
● Low “good” HDL cholesterol levels
However, a low-carb diet is incredibly effective in treating all five of these symptoms.
Under such a diet, these conditions are nearly eliminated.
9. Improved 'Bad' LDL Cholesterol Levels
People who have high “bad” LDL are much more likely to have heart attacks.
However, the size of the particles is important. Smaller particles are linked to a higher risk of heart disease, while larger particles are linked to a lower risk.
It turns out that low-carb diets increase the size of “bad” LDL particles while reducing the number of total LDL particles in your bloodstream.
As such, lowering your carb intake can boost your heart health.
10. Therapeutic for Several Brain Disorders
Your brain needs glucose, as some parts of it can only burn this type of sugar. That's why your liver produces glucose from protein if you don't eat any carbs.
Yet, a large part of your brain can also burn ketones, which are formed during starvation or when carb intake is very low.
This is the mechanism behind the ketogenic diet, which has been used for decades to treat epilepsy in children who don't respond to drug treatment.
In many cases, this diet can cure children of epilepsy. In one study, over half of the children on a ketogenic diet experienced a greater than 50% reduction in their number of seizures, while 16% became seizure-free.
Very low-carb and ketogenic diets are now being studied for other brain conditions as well, including Alzheimer's and Parkinson's disease.
GETTING STARTED :
To find success on the ketogenic diet, planning is key, because without a Great meal plan you will fail, to get a keto meal plan there is only two options : create the meal plan yourself :
you can Design a Ketogenic Diet meal Plan by Calculating macros, Making a Food List, finding recipes. But if you don't have the time or you don't want to deal with meal planning, you can use online services
to create a custom meal plan based on your food preferences, daily activity levels, height, weight and target weight goals.
I searched a lot and i finded the best custom meal planning service online and Here’s what you will get :
● An eight-week meal plan created based on the expertise of certified nutritionists, personal trainers, and chefs.
● Meals that have calorie and macronutrient content tailored to your specific situation and goals.
● A nutrition plan with food variety to ensure you will get a wide range of nutrients and boost the likelihood of sticking to your diet.
● Meals that are based on personal food preferences to make your diet enjoyable and help you stay on track with your plan.
● Detailed recipes with step-by-step instructions to make meal preparation super simple (no prior cooking experience needed).
● A downloadable shopping list each week that details every needed ingredient you will need in the upcoming seven days.
● Options on how you can customize every meal even more to suit your taste buds.
● they'll show you what to eat everyday to reach your goals in the fastest and most enjoyable way.
>>> Click here to create your custom 8-Week keto meal plan
I made high-quality iOS App Icons in Dark Mode so that you can create shortcuts for them!
submitted by Drone_Better to shortcuts [link] [comments]
Reply to this comment to receive notifications when I update it.
You may have seen u/Wilson_Boi_101
with many Dark Mode versions of built-in iOS apps. You may be wondering, why do we need more of these, when we already have some? Well, his icons differ in resolution and quality and consistency, as well as all being shared via Imgur, which turns them into JPEGs, and I wanted to clean them up a bit. My icons all lossless 10242
PNGs, against a consistent pure black background, sourced from SVGs (unless stated otherwise). At the bottom is a table explaining each one.
For those of you still skeptical about app redirect shortcuts because they open two different apps before the one you want, Apple reduced it to one in iOS 13.
Also, to the Moderators, please don't remove this, I used Dropbox because it's free and lets you share downloadable folders, which Imgur, Gfycat and Reddit (from the sidebar) don't do, and I shared this as a Shortcut because it seemed the most fitting of the flairs available, despite not having any Shortcuts in the post. If this breaks the Rules or would better fit in a different subreddit, you can remove it.
Edit: I think we're safe now, because the Moderators wouldn't dream of removing something with over 100 upvotes and reddit gold. I have become more powerful than any Jedi has ever dreamed of.
- 17 more icons (as opposed to the previous 11), beginning with Safari. I hope to continue expanding the range of apps, though. If anyone knows where Apple publicly stores their iOS app icons as SVGs, please tell me, because I can’t find it.
- 16 new icons, starting at Weather, notably all of Microsoft Office. It’s very good.
- 15 new icons, starting at Contacts. I also remade the Light and Dark Wikipedia icons without strange, coloured outlines. This also seemed to half their file size, hooray.
- 3 new icons, starting at Crystal.
- 12 new icons, starting at VLC. Notably 4 new iOS icons, or 5, depending on what you consider Shazam to be.
- This is where the fun begins. (Not an expansion, but exciting news.)
- The biggest expansion so far. 21 new icons, starting at IMDb. Thank you to u/bricknight for many suggestions, and me for less suggestions. Also, they requested Notability, so if you can find an SVG of Notability, I'd be very happy.
- u/bricknight wanted some more, so I made made 4 more. Starting from PayPal.
- 4 new icons, starting from The Weather Channel, notably Pages and Keynote (finally). Also made Notes better and added additional iTunes option.
- 13 new icons, starting from a Dark Mode version of the macOS Safari Technology Preview (as well as some other alternative Dark Mode Safari icons). Notably some more browsers, an extra-dark version of Spotify, and extra-dark Compass and Measure apps.
- 2 new icons for the TypeWise app, which is, from me, a 100% unbiased impartial observer, an extremely good app. Sorry for the delay, I've got all of my files in an encrypted backup for my main computer, but a problem with the display led to a long back-and-forth between the repairer and retailer, with many other issues from an apparently incorrect repair previously. I've got some more ideas submitted to me, and big plans, and, if it isn't resolved for much longer, am willing to take them to court.
- 7 new icons. Telegram, Khan Academy (with a light and dark flower-book-man), YouTube Studio (with a light and dark play button), GarageBand and fixed RadioPlayer (made the aspect ratio much closer to the actual app). All of the issues with my MacBook are now resolved.
- 8 new icons, Fantastical, Things 3, Firefox (2019 version), Music Bot, Best Brokers, App Store updates.
Now, here's the table:
|App ||Source Image ||Method for Darkening |
|Books ||From Apple's official reference image 'Open In' button (for those websites with the button that says 'Open In Apple Books'), which stores the logos of Apple's apps in SVGs, to look good at any resolution. This will be referred to as Open In. ||I changed the background to be pure black, and nothing else. This will be referred to as the Books Trick. |
|Music ||Open In. ||Changed the background to black (Music Trick). |
|News ||Open In. ||Music Trick. |
|Apple TV ||Open In. ||Changed background to pure black instead of dark grey. |
|iMessages ||From a Wikimedia Commons PNG image. ||I retraced it using shapes in Affinity Photo, and used the Books trick. The ellipse is good. The arm may be off slightly, but I don't think it's crucial. Using the Books Trick represents the colour of messages within the apps better. I also made a blue one, but the contrast isn't as good. |
|iTunes ||Open In. ||I made two. Either keep the star as it is or use the Books Trick. (Also, on request of u/kindredcashew98, made one with a gradient background and non-gradient interior.) |
|Notes ||An Apple webpage with many app icons as PNGs. ||Reconstructed manually. Inverted the paper, lines and dots. Then doubled the brightness of lines and dots, because inverting them apparently made them harder to see.. |
|Podcasts ||Open In. ||Books Trick. |
|Wikipedia ||The 'W' in the SVG version of the Wikipedia logo. ||I couldn't find the official app icon, so I made my own. It's slightly larger than the W in the official app, because when choosing the size I decided that if you measured the total width of the W divided by the width of the icon, and assumed that the height was the same as the width, it would be exactly three quarters of the size. I don't know what I was thinking, but the end result is clearer and, dare I say it, nicer than the official icon (which doesn't even use the same font as the original logo), so I put a light mode one in as well. |
|Safari ||Wikimedia Commons, which only had the macOS icon. ||Recentered and recoloured to match the iOS colour gradient (lighter going up to the top, instead of into the centre). The blue in the compass may, therefore, be slightly off, but I don't think it matters. The background is black, as are the markers around the edge of the compass. There's also one with the previously white south pointer being black, in case you want even less whiteness. There are Dark Mode versions of the macOS Safari icons (including the Technology Preview), but for those you need to go into 'Get Info' and replace the icon in the top-left corner of the pop-up, but that changes it throughout the system (and with no loss, because it's converted to a .icns sourced from a 10242 .png sourced from a .svg). |
|App Store ||Wikimedia Commons. ||Books Trick. This does, however, make it look like the App Store Connect icon, but I didn't want to change it to make everything inconsistent, so I made the App Store Connect as well, in black-on-blue. |
|Mail ||Wikimedia Commons. ||Books Trick. |
|Maps. ||Wikimedia Commons. ||I recoloured all of the different parts to match what it looks like inside Maps with Dark Mode in iOS 13. |
|FaceTime ||Wikimedia Commons. ||Books Trick. It's not based on the latest version of the icon, which I couldn't find, so if you can't bear looking at a less rounded video recorder outline with a lens and a button, you've been warned. |
|Numbers ||Wikimedia Commons. ||Books Trick. |
|Camera ||I got this icon via what I think is a piracy website, so I'm not sharing it, but I think Apple would be okay with users editting app icons and giving credit to Apple for creating the original ones. ||I made the camera light-grey for more contrast with the black background, but then the bright yellow flash had less contrast, so I made it dark yellow. |
|Photos ||Piracy. ||I made a simple formula for each primary colour that removes the white tint and adds a black tint (assuming each colour blob is 50% opacity). I think it looks too transparent, but is definitely an improvement. |
|Phone ||Piracy. ||Books trick. |
|Health ||Piracy. ||Books trick. |
|Stocks ||Piracy. ||I made the background black instead of dark grey. It seems to be the older icon, though, where the bars are slightly more stretched horizontally. Does anyone have a newer icon? |
|Twitter ||Piracy. ||Books trick. |
|What'sApp ||Piracy. ||Books trick. |
|Settings ||Piracy. ||Changed the background to black, removed the case around the outside and kept the gears as they were (with the small one apparently darker, which it isn't for me on the iOS 13 beta). This one looks extremely nice. |
|Weather ||Piracy. ||I kept the transparency of the sun and cloud, but changed the background to pure black. I know u/Wilson_Boi_101's post had more creative icons, but this saves more battery life on OLED displays, as well as reducing eye strain and making it look clearer and less noisy. |
|Wallet ||Piracy. ||Changed the background to pure black and inverted and doubled the brightness of the wallet case to make it dark grey, but still standing out. |
|Reminders ||Piracy (iOS 12 icon) ||I reconstructed the iOS 13 icon from this and a screenshot from my beta iPhone, and inverted the colours of the lines and made the background black. |
|Home ||Piracy. ||Music Trick. |
|Pushover ||Their website, but then below it, they said that you're not allowed to modify it. I hope they don't sue me, and instead see that I'm giving them free publicity and more user engagement. ||Books Trick. |
|Google Earth ||Wikimedia Commons. ||Music Trick. |
|TestFlight ||A low-quality 1282 PNG. Does anyone have an SVG? ||I badly reconstructed it, but it's difficult to tell from the size in the Home Screen. |
|Word, Excel, PowerPoint, Outlook, OneNote, Publisher, Access, Teams and Skype. ||Wikimedia Commons. ||I got the desktop icons, because the mobile ones are just those inside big, white app-boxes. I reconstructed these white boxes, but black. I didn't know the exact proportions, so I used 3/4ths of the width and height of the box. It looks very nice, like everything else. |
|Contacts ||Screenshot from iOS 13 iPhone. ||I reconstructed this one very well, I think. The only difference is that the top-right tab and the big bit on the left are now inverted colours, but the shadows on them still exist. There's also a Pure Black Dark Mode, for those of you who are secretly Craig Federighi and would like a Black Celebration. |
|Reddit ||Wikimedia Commons. ||Music Trick. |
|Opera ||Their Website. ||Unfortunately, the only vector format provided was an EPS, which is this crazy format that Affinity Photo turns to greyscale. So, you can have your Dark Mode Opera icon, if you're okay with it being greyscale. |
|Assembly Line (AssemblyLineGame) ||The low-quality, intensely antialiased image on the Google Play Store. ||I remade the icon perfectly, to the last pixel, using Affinity Photo Rectangles. It's apparently an odd number of pixels wide, so I centred it by upscaling the image to four times the size, then shifting it one pixel. I also provided the original icon, as well as using the Music Trick. Ironically, it's 2KB, 1/16th of the 32KB of the antialiased one. I don't know how many people still have the app after it was taken off the App Store, but you Android users could probably make a skin with this. |
|Google, it's Authenticator and Translate ||Wikimedia Commons. ||Music Method. The 'G' is now larger, according to my 75% width model, the Authenticator icon is approximately the same, and Translate, being close to a square, is much larger, almost touching the edges. Translate's light-grey paper is now dark-grey. |
|Adblock Plus ||Their Press Kit. ||Books Method, icon seems approximately the same size. |
|1Password ||Their Press Kit. ||Inverted everything uncoloured. I only got the round icon, though, not the app's icon, so the background is pure black until they reply to my eMail, then I'll make another one. |
|MiniWiki ||The Wikipedia icon, but with the app's blue. ||Books Method. It's now the official Wikipedia font, instead of the font before, which was like the Wikipedia one but more boring, with three arms instead of four. |
|Audible ||Wikimedia Commons. ||I used the Books method, but couldn't find the gradient they used in their app icon, so I used their SVG logo. |
|Crystal Adblocker ||A screenshot of the icon, then remaking it in Affinity Photo. ||The colour is from Mail, it's a perfect square with two right-angled triangles above and below it, so that the square takes half of the height. |
|SleepWatch ||My genius intellect. ||It's a perfect white moon on a black background. And it's now a realistic crescent instead of an eclipse. |
|Slack ||Their Press Kit and a nice eMail conversation with a representative. ||They have a logo sourced from a 1515 grid and one sourced from 1919. I made these in Affinity Photo and made icons from those. |
|VLC ||Their very detailed desktop logo. ||I reduced it to a silhouette and added an outline. |
|Remote ||A screenshot of the iOS icon. ||I made an SVG based on the screenshot, recoloured it and scaled it up. |
|Calculator ||Looking at the iOS icon. ||It turns out you can make it from the Remote icon extremely easily. |
|WatchPlayer ||Looking at the iOS icon. ||It's slightly thicker than the actual icon, but I like it. It's got bigger breaks in the circle, as well as a rounded, hollow play button. |
|Files ||An Apple PNG of the iOS icon. ||I reconstructed it. It isn't quite perfect, and uses a distorted rounded square instead of whatever Apple did to get the smooth gradient to diagonal and back for the tab at the top of the folder, but other than that, it's pretty much an exact copy. The paper's still white, being paper, but the white background was the thing that burnt our eyes. |
|Shazam ||Their logo on Wikimedia Commons. ||I removed the text and made the background and white 'S' thing black. |
|Google Home, OneDrive, Dropbox ||Their logo on Wikimedia Commons. ||Music Trick. |
|Find My ||A screenshot of the app icon. ||Music Trick, but also reconstructing it (probably very lossfully), making the white outline to the blue thing black and making a second sonar radius line around the outside to increase the contrast against the black background. |
|RadioPlayer, Life Cycle ||Screenshots of their icons. ||I reconstructed them and used the Books Trick for both of them. |
|IMDb ||Wikimedia Commons ||Books Trick. |
|YouTube ||Wikimedia Commons ||Books Trick for the outside, then I made one with a black and a white play button inside, depending on how much of a black celebration you'd like to have. (We've gotten to the point where the only people still reading understand that Craig Federighi reference.) |
|Tube Map - London Underground ||The icon in the web App Store. ||I changed all white to black and vice versa, but also reconstructed it. LONDON. |
|Santander ||Their website. ||I hope to expand to all banks, but this is a good place to start. Books Trick. |
|EE ||Wikimedia Commons. ||I hope to expand to all cellular apps, but this is a good place to start. Music Trick. |
|Google Calendar ||Wikimedia Commons. ||Music method, but blackened the holes in the top and changed the text so it still has some greyness at the bottom to show the brightness, but at the top, it's completely black. |
|Google Keep ||Wikimedia Commons. ||Music Method, also made the lightbulb black. |
|Google Maps ||Wikimedia Commons. ||I apologise if it's not exact, I reconstructed it from a non-iOS shaped one. (Maps apps always try to show off, and accidentally make them difficult to reconstruct when they get them wrong.) I made the grass and tarmac darker and changed all white parts to black. |
|Instagram ||Wikimedia Commons. ||Sorry for making the app for normies, please blame u/Bricknight for the idea. Fortunately, Affinity Photo lets you scale gradients' areas of effect without scaling their internal gradient colours via the Node tool, so I didn't get any distortion in the internal colours, I just extended it to have square corners (because iOS icon shapes vary per-device, and this makes it easier). I highly encourage you to look at the top-left corner, because it's much bluer than you'd think. Anyway, you can either use the regular icon with white switched for black, or the better, more AMOLED-power-saving one, with colour where the white outline would be and blackness where the colour would be. Affinity Photo's Subtract tool is very nice for things like this. |
|Facebook and Facebook Messenger ||Wikimedia Commons. ||Sorry for making the app for normie boomers, blame u/Bricknight again. For Facebook Messenger, I changed all white to black, for Facebook, I used the Android icon (because Wikimedia Commons didn't have the iOS one), extended the bottom from the previous peasant circle (which is an off-brand iOS squircle, just like Android is an off-brand iOS), removed the exterior (which is a useless solid-fill) and copied over the Facebook Messenger gradient. |
|Roku ||Wikimedia Commons. ||Made background black, multiplied brightness by 1.5. |
|Target ||Wikimedia Commons. ||Made background and interior ring black. Respect to whoever had the brilliant idea and mad skills to make the icon an SVG doughnut with a red outline of the exact correct thickness instead of making three concentric doughnuts. |
|Amazon ||Wikimedia Commons. ||I couldn't find the app's icon, so I used their logo and put the 'a' above the arrow thing. I couldn't find an SVG of the shopping cart, but that's okay, because it's probably subliminal messaging to make you shop more at Amazon, and the 'a' might be too small, but that's okay, because the original size ratio was probably subliminal messaging to not question Jeff Bezos' participation in the Illuminati. |
|Sprint ||Wikimedia Commons. ||Music Method. |
|Snapchat ||Wikimedia Commons. ||Remember when Snapchat made their icon's outline thicker, and then everyone got upset, because it made the logo more ugly? Well, you can be less upset because I changed the outline to be more of the ghost and the background to be black. But I disapprove of Snapchat, because it seems to be for vain, generic white girls to post and message photos of themselves with cringey effects, delete messages to hide evidence and get spoon-fed misandrist garbage that barely passes as news. |
|ESPN ||Wikimedia Commons. ||Music Method. (Also, some of your ESPN subscription goes towards maintaining Disney's monopoly*, and betting on sports is a bad idea. Here are some free alternatives which are more intellectual than watching people playing sports.) |
|Google Chrome ||Wikimedia Commons. ||It wouldn't load properly in Affinity Photo (with a square appearing around it), so I used my massive intellect to subtract a circle from a rectangle to make it look like it loaded properly. Music Method, but then I also made an alternative one where I inverted the central small circle to make it dark grey. |
|PayPal ||Wikimedia Commons. ||Music Method. I made the central part the sum of the two P's, then scaled it down to fit in our puny human spectrum. It's pretty realistic, though, and looks like the P's are transparent. No longer shall we have huge swaths of whiteness in our home screens when trying to access online payment, what an age we live in. |
|Twitch ||Wikimedia Commons. ||Music Method, I couldn't find the speech bubble, so I changed it to the 'T' in 'Twitch'. There's a white-filled and black-filled 'T'. |
|Pinterest ||Wikimedia Commons. ||Music Method. White-and-black-filled 'P's. |
|The Weather Channel ||Wikimedia Commons. ||Made text blue and background black. |
|BBC iPlayer ||Wikimedia Commons. ||Music Method. (It was already pretty dark, but there was an ugly gradient, so it's now pure black.) It's slightly different, because I used the logo with 'BBC' and 'iPlayer' horizontally across from each other, but I made them both centre-aligned and moved 'iPlayer' down so that it's the same distance from the squares as they are from each other, then made it 75% of the total width. This seemed to work very well, but it's slightly bigger, especially 'BBC'. |
|App in the Air ||App Store. ||Music Method. (The background wasn't quite black enough before.) Also, I deducted the background colour from the lines. |
|Pages & Keynote ||Some Apple.com webpage. ||Reconstructed by hand. The circles may be slightly off, from upscaling and overlapping while antialiasing, but it's extremely subtle and you're not going to notice it in a tiny little icon. |
|Firefox & Firefox Focus ||Wikimedia Commons. ||Music Method. Also made one with the Earth dimmed (to make it look like it's night), but that one doesn't look as good as I thought. Firefox Focus also had this crazy file format that made Affinity Photo decide to remove the shading on the fox and turn it into a completely white monster that engulfs the Earth, burning humanity's eyeballs. 2019 update as well, for regular Firefox. |
|Brave, Microsoft Edge ||Wikimedia Commons. ||Music Method. |
|BBC Sounds ||Their website, but I used a Firefox extension instead of the built-in Safari Resources Viewer, which doesn't get HTML tracings. ||Music Method. |
|Spotify ||Wikimedia Commons. ||It already has a black background (as far as I can see, I haven't checked), so I made the green circle the largest that could possibly fit into the square, then made it black and made the three bars green. |
|Compass and Measure ||Their App Store pages. ||The backgrounds were dark-grey instead of black, so I reconstructed them and then made the backgrounds black, decreasing all other colours by to keep the contrast as it was. The Measure app's spacing may not be perfect, but it's probably more accurate than a human eye can see, and for the Compass. I couldn't find out how to make a rounded triangle, so I used a regular one. It approximately fits what it should have been, but I couldn't get it to exactly fit, so I put it upright and on top of the app's square and then rotated it 45º around the square's centre. |
|TypeWise (TypeWise.app) ||e-Mailing the developers (I don't think I'm allowed to share it here, but it's probably okay with them, since my defacing of their icon is free publicity. ||Made background pure black instead of white, and made a 'darker' version which does the same to the text. |
|Telegram ||Wikimedia Commons. ||It's now the paper-aeroplane upscaled and against a black background. |
|Khan Academy ||Wikimedia Commons.svg). ||Music Trick, made the flower-book-man optionally black. |
|YouTube Studio ||Their App Store page, then reconstructing it in Affinity Photo. ||Music Trick, made the Play button optionally black. I used an Affinity Photo gear, which isn't quite the same. I got it extremely close, and centered it. The only difference you can see is that the outer and inner parts are now rounded, as opposed to straight lines. However, it's a tiny app icon, and is a small price to pay for salvation. |
|GarageBand ||The App Store page, then reconstructing it in Affinity Photo. ||Books Trick. |
|Fantastical ||The App Store page, then reconstructing it in Affinity Photo. || |
|Things 3 ||The App Store page, then reconstructing it in Affinity Photo. || |
|Music Bot ||Apple Music icon. ||Inverted. |
|Best Brokers ||Their App Store page, then reconstructing it in Affinity Photo. ||Made suit completely black, halved brightness of shirt, kept tie the same. |
|App Store Updates ||Found the Save icon in SF Symbols, which is like the Updates one but not filled. ||I put it at 3/4ths of the icon height, then gave it the same gradient as the App Store. I would make this for all App Store sections, but this is the only one we use on a regular basis, and this lets you skip the advertising on the 'Today' page. |
*The Kenobi series, however, is a perfectly justifiable reason to maintain Disney's monopoly, because Ewan McGregor.
I've just completed the Hershel Layton Hexology. Here are my thoughts on each game.
submitted by JunpeiHarry to ProfessorLayton [link] [comments]
Last year, I decided that I was going to replay all the Professor Layton games in order to fully appreciate the story and narrative. I'd played CV close to launch, as with DB - but then I didn't pick up another one for years. I'd watched LPs of the few other games but never managed to finish them. So I went out and completed my collection and decided to replay them. I intend to play PLvAA - I watched an LP of that years ago, and I loved the AA franchise like a son when they were releasing too. I also intend to play the Katrielle (daughter) game after that, which I'm going into blind - so please, no spoilers on Katrielle
*. And no, I didn't save scum for max picarats. I just used a guide. Sad truth is, I'm an adult now and I don't have the free time to play story games without assistance because I don't have hours of time to spare anymore. I solved most of them on my own then checked the answer to see if I was right - judge as you want.*
Anyway, a good gentlemen doesn't keep Reddit waiting. and also, spoilers for the series
Professor Layton and the Curious Village
I first played this game around its launch - maybe a bit later. 2009? And it absolutely blew me away. The story was great, the puzzles were great (for the most part. Those block sliding ones and the "Calculate this math" ones I'm not keen on.
And the mystery was great too. The plot twisted and turned at every point, yet it all still made sense and was easy to follow. And it was very unlikely you would figure out the mysteries until Layton did too - which is something I've noticed the later games struggled with.
It might have seemed a little left field to have a town filled with robots, and for Layton to leave the town to it's own devices - but you have to remember this comes straight off the heels of Azran Legacy, timeline-wise. And if you're familiar with how that ends, then it makes perfect sense for Layton's character. Things that are great about CV in particular:
The music - I'm willing to bet good money you can still hum this games puzzles' theme. I imagine the xylophone-chiming is still stuck in your head.
The minigames - sorting furniture out for Layton and Luke was a fun, if easy puzzle. The painting was likewise fun, especially when you've assembled most of it and you realize it's upside down. Gizmo the dog was fine, too. More of a "collection" that the later games would focus on. Final verdict:
CV is a great game. And I don't think it's fair many people put it on the bottom, or near-bottom, of their ranking lists. I think this game suffers heavily from first game syndrome - just because it's vanilla doesn't mean it's bad. Vanilla is tasty.
Professor Layton and the Diabolical Pandora's Box
In the UK, it's called Pandora's Box, but I'm calling it DB for clarity and ease. Also, why not just the Elysian Box? That's the name of the bloody thing.
Another great Layton game I played around its launch. It's exactly what fans wanted - more of the same, elsewhere. I don't enjoy this game as much, as I feel the first half wants to both rush you out of Dropstone to Folsense yet drag along so you don't miss the important story foreshadowing. It's an awkward pace - like when you're trying to overtake someone.
And again, you couldn't predict the main mystery too early - even though it made sense once it was explained. Although some of the smaller mysteries (if they deserve to be called that) are pathetic, in my opinion. That "missing little baby"? I knew it was a dog the minute I saw the woman - you could just tell the game was setting up a bait-and-switch. Layton immediately assuming it was a boy was not only fallacious (considering his previous experience - he's solved four mysteries at this point) but entirely out of character.
And so was him missing Flora's Team Rocket Disguise, yet calling her out on it later on. The only reason I can think these mysteries are as simple as they are is so they didn't exclude the people who heard Layton was good and picked up Game 2 before Game 1. I get it - but I don't like it.
Anton was great though. That whole final bit escaping the castle was just as tense as the first time, and I knew what was coming. Bloody brilliant character - and it's a shame he only got so much screentime. More could have been done with his character and relationship with Sophia. Things that are great about DB in particular:
The tea minigame - I like the Danny DeVito hamster. His minigame isn't fun but he is. The camera minigame is... fine. But the tea minigame was great. Figuring out which teas are worth a damn, figuring out who wanted what drink. It was great. The only thing this needed was a way to offer people tea without having to wait 'til they were thirsty. Otherwise, it's perfect.
The setting - Folsense, in particular, is fantastic. While it feels a bit awkwardly paced as most of the story seems to take place over one night, it nevertheless feels great to explore. I remember where most everything is in Folsense all these months after beating it. Final verdict:
I like DB. I like DB more than I like CV, if I'm honest. But I don't think it's better
. I think a lot of people rank this above CV only because it does more with the setting. Some of the puzzles are harder, more taxing - which is great for returning players, but the newbies who might have joined the bandwagon wrong will likely get frustrated with some of them. Yet, if they should be playing CV first then this one, why have the easy bloody mysteries at the beginning? It just seems weird to me. Of course, that's just my opinion, and you might have a different opinion, well then:
Professor Layton and the Lost Unwound Future
In the UK, it's called Lost Future, but I'm calling it UF for clarity and ease. Lost Future makes more sense, but Unwound Future just sounds better.
I missed this one at launch. I watched an LP of it around 2013 and yes, this game is exactly as good as people make it out to be. Layton gets a letter from a Future Luke Triton, who invites him to the London of tomorrow where Hershel Layton has become the Crime Boss, the MVP, the man to fear, of London.
It's a great story that deserves to be experienced blind. It really is. Every character completes their character arc in this game - some I didn't realise had arcs set up. The game a a bit of a letdown in the minigame department this time round - I didn't like the car game much - just a reskin of the hamster one. The picture book one, I enjoyed a little. Don't like the parrot one, though. But the game made up for those with strides in regards to the story. I think it speaks for itself, and there's nothing I can add that hasn't already been set. Things that are great about UF in particular:
\"You don't have to say anything at all.\"
The setting - Future London is nifty, but navigating it is a bit odd. It's nice to be able to explore London, though, for once. Layton games take place in a weird futuristic Victorian era bubble where everyone drives around in Model T's but they've landed on the moon? That's one puzzle I've never figured out. But it's nice that they expanded it as I imagine many players were waiting to see it in game - and the fast travel options are a lot nicer for end-game puzzle-hunting, too. Not needed, but welcome none-the-less. Final verdict:
I can see why people think of this as the best game in the series. I'm inclined to agree, but there's something in my heart telling me that some of the goodwill I feel to this game is peer-pressure from everyone else. It's longer, meatier and better than both the previous games. I think it does deserve the title of Best Layton game, honestly, even if I can't put my finger on why
Professor Layton and the Last Spectre's Call.
In the UK, it's called Spectre's Call, but I'm calling it LS for clarity and ease. I don't care either way in terms of the names.
I imagine someone here has taken umbrage with my opinion that Diabolical Box is worse than Curious Village. Those people should stop reading.
In my own, personal, absolutely infallable opinion which if you disagree with well then that's anti-soviet behavior and the courts find you guilty and sentence you to be shot - I like Professor Layton and the Last Spectre's Call more than Unwound Future.
[Actual screencap of my inbox right now.](https://i.redd.it/p1tacqtwuce31.png
Maybe that's not objectively true. The story in LS is far weaker than UF. But I don't love this game for the story, if I'm honest. No, what UF is to plot, LS is to characterisation, in my humble, irrefutable opinion. It's nice to see how Luke met Layton. It's nice to meet a cast of new characters. I like Aldus more than Stachenscarfen - he's funnier and it's nice to see a tutorial character break the fourth wall by essentially pulling a Tuxedo Mask "My job here is done," "But I already knew that.". It fits the series humour. Emmy is great. She's probably my favourite character of the series at this point - she's essentially a mix of Layton and Don Paolo's best traits. And her humour is damn near spot on for the series. Layton has his moments but being a gentleman he won't do anything beneath a gentleman. Luke also has his moments, but they're only so many times a child squaring up like he's ten fucking men only to hastily back out on the raise is funny.
Emmy, on the other hand, is exactly what the Layton duo needed. She sees herself as Layton Lite but is more than willing to stoop to Luke's level.
Emmy: Professor, this reminds me of a puzzle... from an insane asylum.
Layton: Emmy, please don't do that. I don't want to explain to Clark that we broke down his son's door because we couldn't solve a puzzle.
Emmy: Put the back of the back back so that the back's back is facing back. Professor, I think my brain just exploded.
She's the breath of fresh air this game needed, considering it's now the same gameplay four times in a row. I honestly think gameplay fatigue weighs heavily on people's minds here, as the incremental improvements to the game begin to slow down quite a bit. What the writers did to her in Azran Legacy should be considered a war crime - they had two games to write her out of the corner they knew they were in, and what they went with was awful. A heroic sacrifice, to explain why she was retconned. Or maybe she was injured in the finale of AL, so she had to sit out the original CVDBUF trilogy. Something that didn't irredeemably betray her character, seeing as she spent two and a half games built up as a pseudo-sister to Luke and pseudo-daughter to Layton. It just saddens me, honestly.
Also fantastic is Descolé - I realize it's not accented, but it should be, really. Anyway, Descolé. What a magnificent bastard he is. He's mysterious, charming, suave - he's a foil to Don Paolo, who was quite hot-blooded and impulsive. Descolé is cold, calculating, and although he does have some "heart-of-gold" moments, he's very clearly on the side of Descolé. Sometimes that opposes Layton, sometimes it doesn't - it just depends on what Targent are up to. More on them in a bit.
The story's a lot more bog-standard this time round - it's weaker than Curious Village, and that's the game where they were just finding their feet with plots. That Loosha whale thing was an ass-pull that existed only for a teary moment at the end I couldn't help but laugh at. Seamus actually being a young man in costume, like the dog in DB, was a twist so blatantly sodding obvious I sincerely hope no one was expected to take it seriously. Also, what was up with his fucking accent? I promise you now, not one human being alive on this earth talks like that, and certainly not in England. And again, some of the story beats don't really seem to go anywhere. The witch storyline, the corrupt cops, I don't know. There's a lack in the payoff, that's for sure.
The minigames are also lackluster, again. Which is a shame. The train one was good, but the puppet show one was boring, and I ended up giving up with it until the very end. when I had the words. Fish one was again, just... there. And the mice game. What was up with that? Is it a little bit of fun? Yeah. But awarding 100 points per mouse max, and wanting me to get 1,000,000 points by grinding again and again? fuck off, mate. Things that are great about LS in particular: The music. Misthallery's Many Canals. Puzzle Theme. A Strange Story. The Black Market. Foggy Misthallery. The Train Theme. Descole's Theme. The Final Battle. The Golden Garden.
https://i.redd.it/p6sbo16htce31.png OH MY GOD. SO MANY GOOD THEMES. Final verdict:
Layton has always had some stellar songs, but LS certainly has the highest density of absolute bangers. This game's music, as well as it's characters, absolutely rise above the story. Not to the heights of UF, no. But that was a tough act to follow - be a new UF, AND set up a new trilogy? You try it.
I honestly don't think the game deserves the rap it gets. Alright, no one says they hate it - but I really do think things like fatigue and UF weigh on people's judgement of the game, especially if you're shotgunning through the series like I did.
Professor Layton and the Eternal Diva
This is the bit of the trilogy where you get to watch Eternal Diva, spoiler free. It's fantastic, although I didn't this time round because I wasn't able to find the DVD I bought. I have seen it, and it's great. All the VA's return, and it really does capture the spirit of the games while also throwing in all sorts of references for the fans. I don't remember much of the story, as I thought it was a little confusing, but that's not really the film's fault. Video game films can be good - Eternal Diva proves it. Get it cheap on eBay or Amazon or somewhere. I wouldn't pay more than a few bucks/quid for it, though. $10/£10 seems fair. If you're a fan of the cutscene bits in Layton, you'll love this. And also, it helps flesh out Descolé, which is a nice plus.
Professor Layton and the Miracle Mask
The series moves to 3DS for it's fifth installment. I own a DS but not a 3DS. Is it worth picking one up for these two games?
Yes, it is. Get a 2DS, because the 3D effect is nice, but only really adds a bit of depth in the cutscenes. Also, 2DS is cheaper. They're essentially the same console, except you can fold one of them. And many games never ended up doing anything with the 3D after 2012 anyway.
The jump to 3D improves the series substantially - no longer is movement awkward and fiddly (did you know you can drag the shoe and suitcase across the screen, if you're lefthanded? I didn't. But I kept bloody doing it in DB, UF and LS.) but instead you click the spot on the map you want to travel to. The graphics improve, with Layton, Luke and Emmy as well as the other characters sporting 3DS models. They look great, and would be improved on again in AL, even though I thought they were good in MM. I think there's something charming about MM's models - but AL's do look nicer.
Anyway, this time around the Masked Gentleman is running around and destroying the city of Monte D'Or, where we get to learn more about Professor Layton's backstory. We meet characters like Angela and Henry LeDore, who both knew Layton as a teen with best buddy Randall Ascot, who tragically disappeared in the Akbadain Ruins when he and Layton explored them years ago.
Series veterans, at this point, will likely be able to see some of the big reveals coming, which only gets more and more subtle (spelled with sledgehammers) as the climax approaches. I enjoyed the story, and some of the mysteries were intriguing. The shop minigame was interesting, and the robot one was fine. I didn't much like the rabbit play one, though - it was too much trial and error if you chose the wrong move, and considering how some of the hints are worded, that was infuriating. The horse one, likewise, was good but infuriating when going after all the flags. Don't bother - I didn't.
Once again, the characters are funny and likeable - Aldus makes his return, and Emmy continues to bring much needed levity to the darkening plot begining to unfold. Like the bit where she sees the comment cards in the town hall:
Emmy: I'm tempted to write silly things on them!
Layton: I would advise agai— Oh, she's already started. [pulls hat over his eyes]
Or the bit when they go to the theme park.
Luke: Look, Professor! Families get thirty percent off all the rides!
Layton: Yes, Luke. Emmy. I know what you're thinking.
And she's more than willing to kick down the fourth wall for us fans to have a good laugh.
Luke: A ferris wheel chasing people around? That's just silly, Emmy! Things that are great about MM in particular:
The puzzle design really improves in this game - the 3DS gives it much more in way of options for the puzzles. That trek through Akbadain was great for someone who never got to play LS's London Life. Who the fuck thought getting rid of that for Multiple language support was a good idea? You've already released the game in six languages, just have one language per game you shitheads, I bought the English version of the game for fuck's sake so I'm not exactly looking to play it in hablo Espanol
The daily puzzles were great, too, and I definitely prefer these batch to AL's, even though half of them end up in that game anyway. Final Verdict:
The story's far better than LS. It's a bit predictable, it's a bit Friendship is Magic, but it's also exactly what you'd expect from Professor Layton. It ends on a happy note, which might not fit with the events that unfold in the climax, or the tragedy of the story before the ending, but I'm okay with that. I'm reminded of the last lines in Harry Potter Six, where it goes something along the lines of:
Tomorrow, Harry will have to begin his search in earnest. He will have to confront his fears, his past, Voldemort. He will have to leave everything he loves behind. But that was for tomorrow. Today, was for Harry to enjoy. The tears would come tomorrow.
I may have butchered that. It's been a long time since I read that book. All in all, I don't really have a lot to say about MM since most of my time was spent with the Daily Puzzles - it's all sort of blurred together, like an artist mixing paints until it all goes a bit grey.
Also, am I the only one who thought it was odd the ending credits had steel drums solos and other island-themed music for a game set solely in a desert? Not complaining - the song is cheery and good to listen to if you need to perk up. Just seems a bit out of place.
Professor Layton and the Azran Legacy
And here we are - the end of the hexology. Azran Legacy does for the world of Professor Layton what UF did for London - expands the world and the lore and makes it feel a more complete universe. Many new characters are introduced, but many are forgettable as a result. There's this one guy, Mackintosh, who I only remembered because I thought he looks a bit like Where's Waldo:
Which made it all the more funnier later on when he goes fucking missing.
Aurora was fine, but again, we've all seen the monotone, dead-eyed little girl tropes before. Her arc was an unexpectedly expected reveal, and her story ties back into the plot of Curious Village in a nice way (that bookend of the drive to St. Mystere was brilliant and I loved it). Bronev, and Targent on a whole, however, was quite a bit of a letdown for me - Bronev shows up out of nowhere at the climax of MM, and he's nowhere to be seen or heard about in LS (as far as I know). He's foreshadowed very poorly through the trilogy and while I like the idea of Layton-Descole-Bronev all sharing a past, it certainly isn't built up enough. Again, like with UF, I don't want to spoil the story as I feel you really deserve to see it for yourself if you haven't.
The only thing I'll fault the ending on is, as I said, what they did to Emmy's character. Her being a double agent feels like an ass-pull the series writers of HIMYM came up with. All her characterisation, undone in an instant. I really hope they write a repention arc in for her in the Katrielle game but don't tell me if they do - no spoilers
. Things that are great about AL in particular: Desmond Sycamore! My god, and I thought Emmy was a breath of fresh air!
If you paid attention to the ending of MM then the big twist regarding Sycamore should be apparent. And yet, unlike the other predictable twists, it doesn't feel forced. In fact, noticing that Descolé's pal Raymond is the same guy as Sycamore's servant feels more a reward for paying attention, especially when you imagine the year gap between releases. Sycamore is just a great character - he's essentially Descolé but in the Layton party. Some of his moments are absolutely fantastic, but I really wish they let his snarky comments land with the NPCs if not the party. Also the name is great - Desmond Sycamore. Des Sycamore. Des-ca...more. Descolé. That's what tipped me off the first time I watched an LP of this game. Also the fact they're both voiced by Walter Rego.
Also, the Daily Puzzles are back! And they're great. Almost perfect! Apart from this one little achievement they've got where you have to do at least one daily puzzle every day for fifty days which can fuck off from wherever the people who ruined Emmy and thought London Life would flop in Europe fucked off to. I did it. It took me four fucking hours to reset my 2DS time every five minutes, more if you count the time I forgot to save on a 29-day streak so essentially did 80 days of constant puzzle solving for a shitty little flute.
Also, the minigames in particular were a let down this time around. The flower one was interesting at first, but the squirrel one was just a rehash of the same car one I've beaten three, maybe four times now. Final verdict:
Azran Legacy was great, as were all of these games. Getting to see different locales was brilliant, seeing as I often got cabin fever towards the end of the other five games seeing the same areas over and over again. It was also nice you could visit them out of order, although why would you want to, honestly? That of course meant the puzzle difficulty levels off for a long time, but for younger or more casual fans thats fine. Someone below has made the argument that AL doesn't build towards a grander theme because of scattered locales, but I think for one game it's a nice change of pace. Layton ain't an exploration game by design so getting to explore felt like a reward for sticking with the series. I'm glad I did this. Edit:
I forgot to mention this in the original review, but I also immensely enjoyed the idea of daily puzzles in the last two games. Often, when I wasn't in a story mood, it was nice to fall back on getting the last few trophies for my collections in MM and AZ. I liked the idea of weekly puzzles in the first four games, and did most of the ones I had downloaded way back when, but these were like an Italian chef kissing his fingers for me. Simply sublime. Edit as of 01/08/2020: I will not be reviewing Katrielle and the Millionaire's Conspiracy as first planned. I have finished three cases of that game and my initial impressions soon fell apart as I realized the game was simply... not for me, to put it diplomatically. My thoughts on Katrielle are as follows:
Play this Layton game first, but absolutely do not play it last. I played the 3DS version, maybe the switch is better, but I found it incredibly fiddly when writing in answers because a tap on the screen did a "pond-ripple" effect rather than writing, and I had to double-tap just to write.
I just... I just didn't like it, and I honestly don't expect it to get better. I figured the bird ate the camera roll... but the fact it SHIT ON THE ROLL, and Sheldon Cuntflaps was too proud to run the tape through the machine and cut it away shouldn't be lauded... it shouldn't even be laughed at. He should be fired for a) destruction of property and b) bringing an animal into work even though it was already against the rules.
That was when I said "fuck this, I'm out", which was a shame. Also, the names were all over the place this time. Lowonida, the Celtic word for London and also "Law and Order"? Contrived but damn clever. But Sherl O. C. Kholmes
No. First time I heard that I think I actually, audibly retched. He even stumbles saying it in his puzzle victory speech. "They don't call me Sherl O. C. Kholmes for nothing.
" Maybe the O. C. stands for OC, like "My Sonic the Hedgehog OC DO NOT STEAL".
What was wrong with "Watson"? Or, like Earnest says, "Shirley"? Sherlock Basset, Shirley Basset for short. There you go - that's a name everyone can fucking enjoy.
Translating the script so much that it makes sense
According to the air laws, the bee can fly. Flyilos leaves the country, a member of the court. The best airline because bees enjoy what people think is impossible. Yellow, black yellow, black yellow, black yellow, black ah, Nava yellow game! Don't be shy Barry! Breakfast is ready! Hey! Please wait. Hi Barry? A man? Our credit, ten happen? The tax can't. I'll take you. Aspects of bone building. Use the way your dad paid a lot of money for this. Excuse me from this emotional adult. Nine glories to us, billion levels. Ravord County, Biog. Three shows though! I have something wrong with that. - He steals the soup from the ground. - Oh! Chi! - We waited! Nine of 118,000. See you soon! Barry, we all like you, fly and get down! Hello friend Hello Barry. Will it be a solid gel? - A little. Special labels, grad. I never thought I could do it. Three days of primary school, three days of high school. They were uncomfortable. Three days after the conference. I’m glad I took a day off and talked about the cell. The men have brought us back. Hi Barry. - Aarti, did you grow a bart? Aspects of bone building. Are we okay with Frankie? Yes, are we going to the funeral? - No no no no. Yeah, somebody got stabbed, we die. Don't waste it on the squirrel. What a burning head. I think he can come out. I love the combination of this recreational park and neuf bass. So we don't need a vacation. Boy, enough glory ... in those circumstances. - Now, man, there's nothing to do. - No! - Dad - Artist! God is great! Attorneys, teachers and bees respect Brigadier General Boswell. Welcome to the Oive Nova Hive 9h15 lesson. This is the end of our parties. And start your career at Honex Industries! Should We Choose Our Work Today? I felt it was just a reference point. Beware! Let's go. Always place your hands and antennae on the tram. We have questions, how will this happen? About hours. Welcome to Huns, share the Honsco floor along the Hexagon. There! We know that like bees, you have worked all your life so you can spend your entire life. Honey begins when our search for bold dust brings nectar to the hive. Our three secret formulas respect color, smell, shape, time, time, time, time, time ... honey! That girl was hot. It's peace to me! - Answer yes - Yes, we are all cousins. - Ability. Let's see - Hanks, nine people in the cattle market. These bees have tested a new helmet technology to release it. - What do we think you're doing? - Not enough here we have our latest discoveries, Carlman. What to do - Take a small piece of honey that gets stuck as you pour it. Save millions. Can anyone work on Carlman? Most of the bees ’features are certainly small. Because bees know that every little job, if done correctly, matters a lot. After electrocution, we operate laboratories differently in life. Do you trust the same lab in life? I didn't know anything about that. What is the difference? We have ideas, keywords, specifications, liberal signs, $ 27 million a year. Did you kill us? A new provocation. Stop it! You have surprised me! "What is the difference?" How can you say that? Do you work forever? Be a wise choice. I am relieved. Just choose in life. How can they reach us from Adam? Why do you ask? We solve. Nine is the world's most successful company. Ever thought it could work a little bit there? Data? Give me an example I don't know, but we know what I'm talking about. Remove the door to the Royal Navy. - Wait a minute - Hey, it feels good! Come on, I haven't seen them that close. They know it's outside the cell. Yes, but some won't come back - come on! - Hello jokes! The nose was wonderful! We are monsters! We are Arab monsters! I love it! I love it! I asked, cucumber. My restaurant is not the same as our plan. Who knows where, where knows what? We don't just decide to be crushed. Nos Deva is high for this dick. Look at Dexter. Be the dust once a week for life. It's just a status icon. The bees were in their mouths. The ornate chrome apples bore women and did not let them carry them. These women? Well, our cousins too? And distance. And distance. Look at those of you - Twisted Harry Cell. Let's have fun with them. It can be dangerous to be a dust coating. Some time ago, a bear pushed my innate contradictions! We are a bit surprised by the weather! - God! I never thought to turn it off. Can we move on? We are trying to warn the authorities. Necessity I can. A little embarrassing today, no, buddy? The nine campaigns of Jess Gusti when we see the sunflowers fly tomorrow. See Mel, right? Barry! Help us because we are not ready. Maybe I am. - We are not! Nine hours on JTG 0900. Can we think, you bad boy? Did we pay? Can be. Dependio Dependio Dix, 0900 means hello Hunks! Dad, we were surprised. Noce decides what interests you? Now there are many options. Because we are now. Are we tired of him? Son, let me talk to you about the shock. We realized that moving the crane is the platform that drives it. We met the wine rhythm. To be something beautiful. Sciatica, Dad, when I think about it, the honeycomb may not be suitable for me. Ever thought of animals in a balloon? Being a bad job for a man who has an angel. Janet, your son is sure he will use honey! - Barry, he went everywhere. We're not trying. We do not enjoy! Let's go honey. Our son, work! - Are we excited? - No more adults! Wait until you see the sticks. The two can say anything that doesn't matter. Want to tattoo ants! Let's open and celebrate honey! Maybe my chest is my chest. Take care of my antenna. Just drive on the road. Get golden teeth and call everyone "Vertigo"! We have arrived a lot. - Let's start today! - Today is today. Come on! All the good work flows. Yes, it calculates dust, hook, hook, hook, hook, hook ... - Blister in the garden? Wait a minute, you rest! One of these is yours! Good luck moving. Can we take sea ice? Go and get the sentences. Unbelievable! Stop it! Suppress months? Yes sir our first day! We are done! Want to start your electronic life? No, we are 10 years old. God is good! Vase from the garden what? Open toilet assistant, don't do the same thing we try - how to get rid of caramel? Of course, it was your turn. Sorry, the doorman is well closed. The monkey is always open. The driver opened again. What happened to me is dead. To make the first one. Do you see? Another dead man died. Death Death You have several deaths. Death of the throat. The throat of death. Live! Oh, it's hard! Heating, cooling, bi-examination, ejaculation, agitation, noise, seven numbers for the supervisors, flight coordinator, stripper, wrestler. Barry, what do you think of me ... Barry? Barry! You don't have sunflowers on the treasure ... what happened to us? We buy these - I travel. - Go away? Outgoing Calls? - External. - No! I have to settle for my business for the rest of my life. We are dead! Crazy nuts! Hey, another phone call is coming. Look, someone is brave. A Korean grocery store in the 1980s gets roses today. Hi - Isn't that the one we saw yesterday? Hey, the boats are limited. That's okay, Lou. New recorder arrives. Real pencils? Are you lucky Sign up for the catalog. - Thanks - disabled. We recommend rain to runners today, we choose who knows, bees cannot fly in the rain. Don't worry about women, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats, as always. We are able to provide information radically in the future. Murphy at home, I miss you like a cigar! It's horror. - Keep my notes in the book, all letters, no more words! Well, start positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hi, are we ready for this spicy image? Yes, come on. Wind, check. Antennas, controllers. - Nectar bag, check. - Ali, check. - Stinger, check. Afraid of his pants, check. Sir, let's go! Hit those kisses, your lips outline! All of us, let these flowers fly! Stop it! I am far away! To my account, my friend would say! It looks blue. The tax is very quick and free! Cages of cats! Stop it! Flowers! It's a blue stove. Nine people know this. Make it up to approx. 30 degrees, and hold it. Roses! 30 years old, Roger. Take a cloth. Get away, boy. It's a kick. Become a nectar collector! Have you seen the last powder? - No, sir. But you have the opportunity to join polo and spray here. Equality can be a line, equality. Do you see it? It's like magic. It was wonderful, why do we do it? It's a rod. Polish ceiling, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oh, my shots then cut my entire throat. It can be fun. Don't we need it? Personality, you are optical. Wait for the flower to move. Tell me again? How can you report a motionless outbreak? Yes, it's cork! This is the last time I don't know, but I like this color. I hate smell. I don't like a flower, but I love it. Yes loved first oemia. Be careful, you guys. Being a little hurtful. Dear Bee! Mindy, go out! Problem! - Youth! It can be bad, yes three in prose. I get offended. Mother. We are looking for external locks and hang up! See you rocket! My mother helped me to believe that there are no flowers. Don't you say he does? I think he knows. What is this ?! Meeting point! Can pack nose, baby, nose adventure eat it! Yowser! There's one in the car! Do something! I travel! - Hello already. - He is back! You're stopping me! No one is moving. See that we do not move, deprivation will not pass near you. For free! He blinked! Breathe, Grandma! What are we at risk? Unfortunately ... the pressure is incredible. I have to go home, there is no fly in the rain. There is no fly in the rain. There is no fly in the rain. Monday! Monday! Down! Ken, do we have a Windows company? Ken, do we have a Windows company? Listen to my new resume. I made a foldable booklet. See you skirts oh no more people. The two don't need it. What was it? There were maybe some moments. This time this time once! Once upon a time! You cock ... curtains! To be demonic. To be great, I have some of my special skills, click pour en savoir plus on the movie. What is number one? The military regime? No, I'm not looking for that ... No wonder you don't have to talk to them. They are crazy. Go in leaving the clerk, I'm afraid I don't believe what I'm saying. It's sunny and downloadable. My memories of the sun are simply wonderful. I expect global warming. I felt cold and stronger. At first I thought it was me. Wait! Stop it! Reply to Seulement These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! We don't know my allergies! That's the only thing I can kill! Why is life worth less than your life? What is your life cheaper than my life? Is this your explanation? Only you in life have value. You don't know how you feel. My brochure! You're close, kid. I'm not afraid of him. Be sensitive. Enter this and your resume. All my faces can browse. Make it one of your own skills. To hurt someone is also a special skill. Turn right onto Dexter, Vanessa. Thanks - Vanessa, this week? Yogurt? Yes, Ken. No no you know what? - No can put pieces of locust. Goodbye. - Probably less calories. Goodbye. I have to say something, healing saved my life. I have to say some ace, never go. G. What do I say? I can be really angry. This is the bi-law. We don't have to talk to anyone. I can't believe I'm doing it. I must. Oh, I can't come! Can't you do that? How do I start? "How do we love jazz?" No, that's not fair. There! Talk, you fool! Hey, sorry, we're in copy. I know. We are about to clear! My fears are not good. It was good I know I dream. But I don't remember going to bed. Now maybe not three squares. Then I think to myself. We are just, we are bi! I didn’t think change meant a situation that killed me. Thanks for the wine so I grew up. That was weird. I'm just talking about a bee. Yeah, I'm just talking about a bee. Bee wants to talk to me! My only live, please. Forum now. - Wait! How did you learn it? - What? That which speaks. You kill the pounds, I think. "Mom, Dada, dad." No, take her. These are the three conversions. Yes, bees enjoy. If we laughed, we would cry for what we did. Anyway ... Do you see it ... I'm taking something? As far as I know, I mean ... I don't know. A baker? I don't want to disable you. Ten years ago, it was a problem for a moment. It's just coffee. - Mont Trudy de Malma. - You fucking! - Actually, I'd like a cup. Hey, how are we in love? - Change duty - Take something. - No no no. Come on! Jay was trying to lose some micrograms. - Where? - These tapes don't help. We are looking for bones! I don't know the life we know in fashion. How do you do it? No, he's out of the league and Miss goes to Madison. He came. He goes to church. The marriage has begun. He said, "Watermelon, I think you said Guatemala, why should I marry watermelon?" Are you this ten year old bee? Nine do these things. Yeah yeah, what do we do, Barry? Work? I know I want to be a part of the crow dance, which is a variation of my abilities that I want. I know how we feel about you. - Let's stay? Sure. Click here to see all the answers from all lawyers, everything you need, buy flowers and download flowers. A feather? - We are interested in the flower garden. Our new queen is chosen for the logo campaign. However, the aspects of Noi-Wons ... are my cell. Do you see it? We look after the sheep! Yes! We're already checking this out! I really don't have that! I know this area. I lost a tree. - Why do girls put rings on their fingers? Why not - Be like putting a hat on your knee. - Not provocative. How can we get off the bones, Sangorino? Hi everyone, just two cups of coffee is perfect! Otherwise, it was wonderful and wonderful. Thanks for the coffee. Yes, this is not a problem. Sorry, no money. Look, I want to understand, I'll be the rest of my life. We ... Do you have a piece? Quite! She is my mother. - Thanks! Yeah, yeah, so ... I think I'll see you again. Oh no, Barry. And again, thank you. Is it not? There was nothing. Now I don't know, I ... Anyway ... I'm not working. She's ready to go. We could also try. Okay, Dave, pull the parachute. - Sony Sunni beans. - Fantastic! This is the moment here. You! To my account, it will be said that we are just happy! Huge scary, happy! What they were, they were huge and crazy. Talking about madness. They eat great breakfast packages. They're going crazy. Are they trying to kill you, lines and TV? - How much because some don't. - Do we have revenge? - Poor. We are too far in our dock. We know, we know. We've already seen Durban. Now we can choose the usual task. - Now? Now, tomorrow's bill is the EU. True? Is it like Simi Abel? - Whoops ?! Your parents are killing you! - No no no no no. - The spider? - Treasure attracts spiders. I know if it's hot for you, just those legs and all your legs. I can't reach that face. It's you ... man. This is not a bee direction. We do not compete for subscription. My name is Vanessa. - Hello boy. Be gentle and be flowers! No no! We're just going out for human flowers! We're not going away. Nives Somes Hive Talk only to people who attack our house with washing machines and M-80! Good stick with dynamite! Healing saved my life! It has filled me. Done! Management. Don't over! What was it? They call mother dance. It was so beautiful! Deduction does not eat. Here's what they fall in love with Dex, what they eat! - Do you know what Ainab is? No, this does not happen at the cinema. Look at the fun ... Sit down! ... three walls! Dear! We are! Hope Aucune will be f! Yes, but who can bear the heart, who asks? There is no desire. Stop wishing. Forgive me! You have to think, my friend. Think of the bees! - I'm thinking of bees. - I'm thinking of bees. Think of the bees! Think of the bees! Think of the bees! Think of the bees! He is here. He's in the pond, so you know what your problem is, Barry? Need to think? How long will it last? That was three days ago! Why not work I have to make many good decisions in life. What kind of life? We are not alive! There is no work hardly bi-numbers! Will he kill you because you made honey? Barry, come out. Your father only speaks to us. Martin, do you just want to talk? Barry, my parents all! Are we coming? Do we have anything? Ready! Come and watch. Don't be a big believer. Look at this! Vanessa! We're still here - we're looking for you, we don't understand. Do not Cry! - Are we traitors? - If we're not hidden! I'm listening to it. Sorry, I have to go. Where are we going? - My contact icon. Girl, why can't decide? We just separate the hidden aspects of the file from Esperanto. Do they have a big flower festival every year in Pasadena? Join the Roses Championship is a florist! On a stroller, surrounded by flowers, happy crowds. Turquoise Missiles Fighting for Sporting Events? No, I have one. Why don't you fly somewhere? Tired, why not work anywhere? Be faster. Yes, of course, I see her, I see her. We are your turn TiVo. How to get a frosted TV? Get crazy! Do not we have? We have HIV, we have diseases. Being a terrible disease. God is good! Stupid beers! Nos wants to stop all this breakthrough. You never tried a shot. Faith is often deadly to us. Yes, we need to pay attention to your mood. We regret the wall, three signs, we constantly write letters and reject this feeling: anger, jealousy, desire. Boy! How do you do it? Yes, what happens to all of us? It's a mistake. Don't do any. Get away, cat! What was it? Should the image be 'N' in a circle? Yes it was. How I knew lasts approx. 10 days. Seventy women are our limit. Science Practice. - My horse is popular in Italy. Am I sure what the powerful Hercules call? How did you get there? Just me, flower now, Ray Utah soldier check? - Do you like this action? I've never heard of that. - Link Why Tae? - For people. Is the person not suffering? Yes Yes - How can we achieve this? - The bees do. - I know who does it! Huge racers! There is heating, cooling and acceleration. We need everything from Carlman! It's organic. This is our story! It's just my love, Barry. What? Bee don't know! Flying Games! Fly the mule! We only have nine weeks and more! This is all we have! And is it blue or untouched ?! My problems are solved. I ask for it! Hi Hector. - Are there fines? About .. My prayers are: naked, my thoughts, my dreams, our dreams, our dreams, our dreams, our dreams, our dreams, our friends. I got wine, boy boxing! You know I heard something. Let's talk I can talk now let's talk! Choosing sweet things? Who is your supplier? My contract, pension, my net worth. Last minute, cheaper and more! We are never late! No crossed the wrong sword, sir! Sir, I'm a model for my Aegean, Ignacio! Dear, have you reached gravity? Tell me that too! Farm honey! Color comes from honey movements! Come on! What happened in a tie? These faces never knew what was happening to them. And now they won't go anywhere! How about comfort. Why don't you die? Do you look dead? They sweep everything that moves. Do we know we went to Milo Farm? My interest is for my niece. I'm going to Alaska. Alec blood, crazy stuff. Lower your head! I'm going to Tacoma. - Let's stay? He really died. Come on! - What is this - No! - Enjoy! Triple knife! Triple knife? Jumping is your only bet with it! Why should you be so clean? How much do you need to see? Open your eyes! Take your head out the window! Cities NPR News Washington or Ural Castle. But don't kill other insects! - Only! - Tomorrow I say blood! Have you heard anything? How to cry Turn off the radio. Lucky, dear? Oh blood. Only a thousand of you can see the eye. Stop it! My hypothesis, my association in the kitchen, is a tie. We won't lose anything. - Bee strike. - We're all wrong. Arrival of three girls. Never, never. We are alone. It's just mosquitoes. - Cholesterol? We are mosquitoes, we have problems. No one was at all. They just turn. Look mosquito, fast, closed! At least you are in the world. We have to cancel the girls' accounts. The Moscow girls exchange tries to catch Dragonfly, Dragonfly. Mosquitoes do not want mosquitoes. We drive! Mossblood was lost due to construction! See you soon! Hi guys! submitted by NOMASAN163 to BeeMovieScript [link] [comments]
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