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Skyblock: Potato War 3 (FINALE) Entire Script

"There is no instance of a nation benefitting from prolonged warfare." -Sun Tzu, The Art of War
DISCLAIMER
The following events were done by deranged individuals with complete disregard for their own physical and mental well-being.
Please do not attempt this at home.
My name is Technoblade and I'm the fastest skyblock player alive.
To the outside world I'm an ordinary Minecraft youtuber, but secretly I've spent the last year fighting to maintain my spot as the number 1 potato farmer in Skyblock.
Opposing me is Squid Kid, the former rank number 1. A man whose obsession with potatoes is rivalled only by my own.
In my last video I talked about how the newly added rabbit pet could at its highest level could increase the amount of potatoes my minions made by 30% but I knew Squid would watch my video to find out my tactics so I left out a few of the finer details.
See the boost from rabbit pets isn't the same as flycatchers or catalysts, you have to be there.. on the island for the boost to take effect. Once you log off or go to somewhere else on skyblock that boost is gone until you come back.
But while I was experimenting with the rabbit pet I uncovered a few interesting facts about how the boost works for instance:
Rabbit pets can boost other people's minions if you're visiting their island as a guest, but minions can only get boosted by one rabbit at a time so you cant just get 20 accounts with rabbit pets for infinite potatoes. The third thing I found was the most interesting and this is what Squid Kid didn't know. If there's multiple rabbit pets on the same island which one boosts the minions? You'd think it'd be the strongest one but it's not!
If there's multiple rabbits the minions will be boosted by the one belonging to whoever's been on the island the longest. So hypothetically speaking if someone went to their island with their level 100 rabbit when someone was already there with the level 1 one, they wouldn't get their rabbit's 30% boost, they'd get the level 1's 0.3% boost.
Unrelated fun fact, did you know that squid kid's island is still open to visitors? Yeah that's right we're doing this again...
So I bought a new Minecraft account, slapped a level 1 legendary rabbit pet onto it and shipped it off to Squid Kid's AFK pool! I knew I had to maintain absolute secrecy- I didn't even tell my goons about this because I knew once Squid got wind of this it would be trivially easy for him to prevent it.
I waited until the day I released the second Potato War video to start, after that video tourists flocked to Squid Kid's island to see it for themselves, my alt blended right in.
Everday my alt would sit there in Squid Kid's afk pool to maintain rabbit priority in fact it usually had the rabbit pet deactivated during the day since you don't need to have the pet out to keep priority and since the rabbit was deactivated if squid checked his minions during the day he'd find nothing wrong with them.
But every night around 2am Squid would leave his account AFK and go to bed and that's when I'd strike overriding his rabbit pet boost for the rest of the night and yes I memorized Squid's sleeping schedule, I mean at this point how is that even a question of course I did but unfortunately complications soon arose.
Squid and I had both been rushing to get our rabbit pets to level 100 and I had a pretty heavy lead and I figured it'd take Squid several more weeks to get his there, but unfortunately and unknwon third party got there first and sold his level 100 legendary rabbit directly to Squid.
Of course he didn't forget to brag about this victory on stream.
Squid: "Oh my oh my, you know who doesn't have a level 100 pet, yikes he has a level 99 rabbit pet, he's poor, it's only level 99 I'm screaming ahhhhhhhhh."
Little did he know that while he was flexing on stream, my alt was right there on his island overriding his level 100 bonus.
But my problems didn't stop there you see, Squid got an alt account to AFK with his rabbit pet on his island while he was doing other things and since the alt account had no reason to ever leave his island it became much harder to keep control of pet priority and sometimes when I had priority he'd end up kicking everyone from his island because it was too full for his alt account meaning I had lost priority for the rest of the day.
I was going to counter this by spending $30 to buy his alt MVP++ since that rank can bypass guesting limits #ad but unfortunately on March 20th my alt was kicked and Squid's island was closed forever.
The jig was up but by that point I'd already achieved my objective. The two weeks it took to realize what was going on cost him about 2 million potatoes.
Bit of a tangent but I'm pretty sure I lost a few fans over the rabbit pet because everyone would just be hanging out, they'd just be chilling on my island with their level 30 rabbits activated and I'd come see that and I don't care if it's intentional or not but they're sabotaging my potatoes! So I'd kick them out of my island to get priority back and they they'd come back 10 seconds later like:
"Why did you kick me Technoblade? I just wanted to meet my favourite youtuber :("
And I'd be like woah woah relax dude relax it's not a big deal, I have a really good reason I just can't tell you because it is a secret and then you're like:
"It's okay Technoblade I know the reason.. It's because you hate ME SPECIFICALLY I'll just go leave forever now."
And I'm just like WAIT come back noooo so Squid closed his island which meant I couldn't sabotage him anymore, but what if I told you that was also part of my master plan?
You ever noticed how my island has been open to visitors during the potato war? In the last video I explained:
"I made an AFK machine on my island so planted potatoes would keep growing even why I wasn't online."
I was actually using an advanced technique there called LYING, this clip of the AFK pool was from November, I didn't even make the manual farm until January!
You might recall from the first Potato War video depending on whether there's people on the island or not. Because if no one is on the island, Hypixel's not gonna waste resources keeping that server online so they are going to close the server and then when you come back they're gonna go oh well it's been 7 hours and it's gonna run a calculation and give you 7 hours worth of stuff.
But as we've seen before that calculation isn't perfect, so I ran an experiment and I found that when someone's on my island I get 10% more potatoes! And there was only one thing boosting my minions by 10%.. the Farm Crystal.
The farm crystal is an external buff so it's not included in the offline calculation so if there's at least one person on my island and Squid's island is empty I'd get 10% more potatoes! Now it was easy to get people to AFK on my island, what was difficult was getting people off of Squid's island.
You see even months after the first potato war video came out when the initial hype was starting to die down a bit there would be at least one of my own viewers AFK on Squid's island every night. You know.. as a joke! Sometimes I would be on Squid's island on an alt account and I'd see someone in the chat:
"I'm gonna go AFK to help Technoblade win the potato war!"
And I'd beg them, I'd be like "no dude please, please he fixed that months ago, that doesn't hurt him anymore and they'd be like:
"I'M HELPING"
and AFK all, Squid Kid was getting boosted by my own viewers and there was nothing I could do to stop them because what was I going to do, announce that AFKing helped him? Then even MORE people would AFK! I realised that the only way to stop this from happening would be to get Squid to close his own island to visitors without him realising that that's what I wanted all along.
It took four long months but it finally happened, but anyways back to this tweet, so Squid says he closed his island because someone filled his potion system with rookie axes.
A common trolling method in SkyBlock is to fill people's inventories with useless items like boats, but the rookie axe is even worse for players like Squid Kid who use the skyblock add-ons mod which has a feature which makes it very difficult to drop tools out of your inventory.
The point is to stop people from accidentally dropping weapons worth millions of gold, but it also applies to the rookie axe sold in shops for 12 coins, so basically someone dumping a ton of rookie axes into your hopper system is the worst thing someone can do to you in skyblock.
Now I've always been interested in psychology, in fact I almost majored in it so after 6 months of stalking Squid, I had developed a bit of a psychological profile of this man.
I know how he TALKS, I know how he THINKS and when I saw this tweet I instantly knew that thiis man was LYING. Now don't get me wrong I completely believe that somebody dropped rookie axes into his hoppers because it was me but that's not the real reason he closed his island after all I'd been dropping rookie axes into his hoppers for weeks, but he sent that tweet eight minutes after he kicked my alt.
So I get to thinking, why would Squid lie about that? And I realize Squid knows I monitor his tweets, but what he doesn't know is that that was my alt account from his perspective that could have been some random guy with a rabbit and if that was the case I'd have no idea rabbits could be used that way.
As such him lying in that tweet could only mean one thing, he's about to sabotage ME! So i held a stakeout on my island and guess what I found a few hours later, a brand new skyblock account AFKing with a level 1 legendary rabbit. Truthfully I could have stopped squid before he even joined my island but I wanted to catch him in the act because I'm always getting comments saying:
"OMG Technoblade why are you so mean to Squid?"
They don't understand, this is WAR there's no holding back! I know that and Squid knows that, the only difference is that I'm 20 steps ahead, he's playing skyblock while I'm playing Deathnote.
He thinks he can outsmart me with my own strategies because he is yet to realise that he is but a puppet and I the puppeteer DANCE POTATO BOY! DANCE!
So anyways I got on my secret alt account and sent his secret alt account a party invitation and then I DMed him on discord Yo dude accept my invite!
Squid: "Well this is awkward.."
He actually did accept my invite and we had a lovely conversation and then I BANNED him from my island get OUT of here you trued again with another account a few days later, I don't have any proof that this account is him but look at that username "Stinky Bozo" That's a pretty unusual word in fact I've only heard one person say it:
Squid: "Bozo, Bozo, you are Bozo Bozo, nice one Bozo, you're a freaking Bozo Bozo"
Yeah that's right get out of here, I did eventually close my island, but not before I made sure I wouldn't lose potatoes.
After that I moved on to the next phase of my master plan if I wanted to farm more potatoes I'd have to start farming pumpkins, but wait a minute Technoblade, that's the wrong vegetable! Wait.. what do you mean it's a fruit?
Whatever at this point we pretty much maxed out the output of our minions the only thing left to work on was the speed we could farm potatoes by hand! The farming skill gives more crops as you level up so I decided to grind it to the highest level.
I did the math and found that farming potatoes is so incredibly inefficient at levelling up farming that it was actually more worthwhile to build a whole pumpkin farm.
I began the construction of a pumpkin farm large enough that by the time I finished farming it in full, the pumpkins at the beginning would have already regrown. I don't even want to tell you how long it took to build this.
And so I began farming day after day at times I'd farmed for so long without break that the people watching thought that I was botting, word of my pumpkin farming soon reached Squid who began farming pumpkins himself, but he only saw the surface level of what I was doing.
You see I wasn't just levelling up my farming skills I was also levelling up multiple legendary rabbits. There's a reason I wanted to stop people from AFKing on Squid's island even after he started AFKing himself and it's because it's almost IMPOSSIBLE for one man to AFK every hour of the day because servers restart, the game can update, your internet can go out and if you're asleep or doing something else you'll be missing out on those bonuses until you get back.
Even the most dedicated individual might only average 20 hours of AFK coverage per day and those 4 hours alone without the rabbit pet and farming crystal cost you 100 thousand potatoes and over time, that adds up.
To fix this flaw, I got multiple level 100 rabbits some leveled myself and others purchased for tens of millions of coins and then distributed to goons in diverse timezones. I set my island so only guild members could visit and I had my head goon code a discord bot that automatically pinged them within five seconds of the rabbit account leaving my island at which point one of them could log into the island themselves and boost my minions until I got back.
After a few weeks we both reached farming level 50. On May 4th there was a pet update which added among other things the elephant pet which at its highest level could increase crop yield by 25%. Ordinarily a buff to manual farming would be bad for me since it allows squid to catch up that much more quickly, but I had a plan.
The reason farming potatoes by hand is so inefficient is because when you break potatoes they don't grow back so 2/3 of the time you spend farming is spent replanting the potatoes you just harvested. Squid Kid and his viewers spent many hours trying to find a workaround to this even building an elaborate redstone machine in an attempt to somewhat automate replanting, but in the end they failed to find a better method and continued farming normally:
Squid: "I should be able to plant five (potatoes) at the same time, why is it so dang slow it takes forever"
What if I told you I found a way, you see back in January I had an idea, what if I had the minions plant for me. At the time this was impractical for two reasons,
One, I didnt have enough farming bonuses for it to be worth sacrificing the minions normal output, but this was solved when i got farming level 50 secondly potato minions were simply too slow, but since then they've buffed fly catchers, added the rabbit pet and added foul flesh, a new fuel source which buffs minion speeds by 90% even then the potato minions weren't quite fast enough to keep up, but I thought to myself if they're only going to be planting they don't need to waste an upgrade slot on a super compactor, so I spent another 250 million coins to get 48 total flycatchers.
Squid and I both started farming potatoes but his method could get at most 200 thousand potatoes per hour whereas my method with double flycatchers even after subtracting the amount the minions would have made themselves could get 410 thousand potatoes per hour. For the next three weeks Squid farmed hours every day but I was farming at the same time.
Squid: "What are the odds he's farming right now, five bits I bet techno is doing the same thing just has like a 130% faster way to do it"
In this time I expanded my lead by another 5 million potatoes, but at this point Squid and I had been farming potatoes for almost a year and we were still farming hours every day with no end in sight neither of us wanted this to continue so we came to an agreement.
Whoever got to 500 million potatoes first would win the potato war. Hypixel even pitched in saying he'd give a surprise to the winner. Now I was only at 300 million potatoes at this point, but I figured I had this in the bag I mean I've been tracking Squid's potato count, I accounted for his afk coverage by having the discord bot track his alt accounts logins and I knew how much he was farming by hand because I was monitoring his farming experience.
With a 45 million potato lead and a farming method twice as fast as his own, what could possibly go wrong?
JUNE 6
Things go very wrong, it was just a small update with a few quality of life changes, you know like an enchantment which replants crops after you farm them and an item which automatically compacts items in your inventory so you don't have to spend time on that. You know, two minor changes which just so happened to buff Squid's farming method from 200 thousand potatoes to 1.2 million potatoes (per hour) and my farming method becomes WORTHLESS.
Suddenly my 45 million potato lead goes from insurmountable to yes Squid could farm that in a couple days, Squid starts putting in crazy hours:
Squid: "If I do 12 hours a day can he keep up absolutely not, people say Technoblade never dies but I'm putting him in the grave."
Meanwhile I'm sitting here in shambles, I was out here with my lab coat on doing the science coming up with new never before seen potato farming techniques and this man just goes admins please replanting is too hard and they buff his farming method six-fold!
Was that it? Eight months of plotting and scheming just to fail in the final stretch? NO i couldn't except that, I was going to win this war whatever the cost. I immediately drank three months of mystical mushroom soup and got to work expanding my old potato farm. A project which would take 25 hours over the next couple days.
I knew I was playing the game as intended when I realised that the only reason I ever put on one of the strongest armour sets in the game was to use its 3% speed bonus to optimize tilling dirt. For the next two weeks I did nothing except eat, sleep and farm potatoes, there were only three interuptions each of which cost me millions of potatoes. The first was a dentist appointment and the second was when I had to play in Minecraft Championships.
Squid: "What do I message him? Was it worth your time losing MCC? ehehehheheehhe" "It took me 2 hours to lose MCC but it'll cost you 9 months to lose the potato war, kayyyyyy RELAX, RELAX, hello?"
Besides that there was only one other time:
"I had to go to the store the other day, I had to interrupt my potato farming because my dad was like hey can you go to the store and pick up my medicine and I was like, can I really tell him that I'm not getting his medicine because I need to farm potatoes? Can I really? Look I'm an atheist, but when God sends me to hell I want him to hesitate, okay? I want him to hesitate for a few seconds.
But Squid was also farming several hours a day and he had evem found a way to maxmize his afk coverage. He started sleeping with his headphones on and had his goons wake him up via discord call whenever his alt left his island.
As someone with a discord bot tracking his online activity I can tell you right now that that man is telling the truth. He was waking up multiple times per night, I don't know why he didn't just use backups like me, he actually revealed to me later on that one of my original goons betrayed me and gave him one of our internal documents and the list of backup pet users is literally RIGHT there at the top of the first page I have no idea how he missed it.
But anywas squid logged off an hour and a half ago, he should be entering REM sleep just about now it would be a real shame if someone woke him. I didn't actually wake him up because I wasn't sure if intentional sleep deprivation was legally considered torture or not so I decided to shelf that strategy for the time being.
And after sacrificing two weeks of my life I finally reached 500 million potatoes.
"WE WIN THEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESE"
Squid was shocked:
Squid: "He's at 499? No he's not, dude there is actually like, it's not possible! NOOOOO it's not, this can't be reaaal!"
Squid had been certain that he was right on my tail.
Squid: "I don't know how fr behind I am, 100% less than 30 million"
And yet when I won the war I had a lead of over 88 million potatoes. How did i do it? It's just as Sun Tzu says:
"All war is deception." -Sun Tzu
You see I knew after the second potato war video things were gonna get more difficult from here on out, because at this point Squid had a full on organization backing him he had goons, a cabal of billionaires funding his every move, 100s of stream viewers on how to farm potatoes more quickly and reporting on my every move so in that video I prepared my final trick. I hid my true potato count.
The number shown in my video wasn't edited, but it didnt include the millions of potatoes left uncollected in my minions. I also said that my minions now produce 1.58 million potatoes, but they're actually producing 1.75 million because the rabbit pet doesn't actually boost your minions by 30%, it boosts them by 43% why? I don't know it's probably bugged and Squid couldn't realise the real number when he got a level 100 rabbit of his own because he was being sabotaged!
But the biggest reason my lead expanded by that much was because over those two weeks, while Squid averaged 8 hours of farming per day, I averaged 11!
Squid: "I just can't believe how much he's farming."
MenacingBanana: "The admins were legit saying that Techno is just like so focused, it baffled them at how like just insane he was he had no breaks!"
Squid: "I swear to god this Technoblade dude is focused on another level"
Towards the very end Squid had one of his goons write a program to chart how much I was farming by tracking how much experience my elephant pet had, but by then it was too late. Once I won the war there was nothing left to do except celebrate my victory with grace and humility.
Squid: "OHHH MY GOOOOSH he's doing a little emote on me ooohh my not like this come onnnn, was was this necessary?"
"Watch me dance Squid Kid you looose! You lose the WAR!"
After the war the admins added a temporary NPC to the skyblock hub, the potato king it gave out a new talisman which boosted potato minions by 5%, a basket for the top 1000 potato farmers and to me, the POTATO CROWN engraved upon it:
"All men can see the tactics whereby I conquer, but what none can see is the strategy out of which victory is evolved." -Sun Tzu, The Art of War
That NPC is gone now, I took too long to edit this video! I gained a lot from the Potato War; patience, discipline, carpal tunnel. I guess my main regret is that I bribed Squid's discord admin to give my alt permission to see into his secret text channels and then HE NEVER USED THEM ALL YEAR!
With the war over Squid took down his potato minions and my fields have gone unfarmed while we were enemies I still respect Squid Kid, I understand now that it is only with a worthy rival that once can reach their fullest potential, while he may have lost the war, he's gone from 70 subscribers to having tens of thousands of fans so it can't be said that he's lost completely. For my part I've realized now that rank number isn't an achievement, it's a prison which forces you to dedicate your life to defending a temporary title, but now with the war finally over... I'm free
*Wandering Nomad plays whilst Techno begs for subs*
Well I guess we are done here :) If you got down this far I wouldn't mind an upvote, I spent too long doing this.
submitted by ethwoo to Technoblade [link] [comments]

Potato war 3 transcript

"There is no instance of a nation benefitting from prolonged warfare." -Sun Tzu, The Art of War
DISCLAIMER
The following events were done by deranged individuals with complete disregard for their own physical and mental well-being.
Please do not attempt this at home.
My name is Technoblade and I'm the fastest skyblock player alive.
To the outside world I'm an ordinary Minecraft youtuber, but secretly I've spent the last year fighting to maintain my spot as the number 1 potato farmer in Skyblock.
Opposing me is Squid Kid, the former rank number 1. A man whose obsession with potatoes is rivalled only by my own.
In my last video I talked about how the newly added rabbit pet could at its highest level could increase the amount of potatoes my minions made by 30% but I knew Squid would watch my video to find out my tactics so I left out a few of the finer details.
See the boost from rabbit pets isn't the same as flycatchers or catalysts, you have to be there.. on the island for the boost to take effect. Once you log off or go to somewhere else on skyblock that boost is gone until you come back.
But while I was experimenting with the rabbit pet I uncovered a few interesting facts about how the boost works for instance:
Rabbit pets can boost other people's minions if you're visiting their island as a guest, but minions can only get boosted by one rabbit at a time so you cant just get 20 accounts with rabbit pets for infinite potatoes. The third thing I found was the most interesting and this is what Squid Kid didn't know. If there's multiple rabbit pets on the same island which one boosts the minions? You'd think it'd be the strongest one but it's not!
If there's multiple rabbits the minions will be boosted by the one belonging to whoever's been on the island the longest. So hypothetically speaking if someone went to their island with their level 100 rabbit when someone was already there with the level 1 one, they wouldn't get their rabbit's 30% boost, they'd get the level 1's 0.3% boost.
Unrelated fun fact, did you know that squid kid's island is still open to visitors? Yeah that's right we're doing this again...
So I bought a new Minecraft account, slapped a level 1 legendary rabbit pet onto it and shipped it off to Squid Kid's AFK pool! I knew I had to maintain absolute secrecy- I didn't even tell my goons about this because I knew once Squid got wind of this it would be trivially easy for him to prevent it.
I waited until the day I released the second Potato War video to start, after that video tourists flocked to Squid Kid's island to see it for themselves, my alt blended right in.
Everday my alt would sit there in Squid Kid's afk pool to maintain rabbit priority in fact it usually had the rabbit pet deactivated during the day since you don't need to have the pet out to keep priority and since the rabbit was deactivated if squid checked his minions during the day he'd find nothing wrong with them.
But every night around 2am Squid would leave his account AFK and go to bed and that's when I'd strike overriding his rabbit pet boost for the rest of the night and yes I memorized Squid's sleeping schedule, I mean at this point how is that even a question of course I did but unfortunately complications soon arose.
Squid and I had both been rushing to get our rabbit pets to level 100 and I had a pretty heavy lead and I figured it'd take Squid several more weeks to get his there, but unfortunately and unknwon third party got there first and sold his level 100 legendary rabbit directly to Squid.
Of course he didn't forget to brag about this victory on stream.
Squid: "Oh my oh my, you know who doesn't have a level 100 pet, yikes he has a level 99 rabbit pet, he's poor, it's only level 99 I'm screaming ahhhhhhhhh."
Little did he know that while he was flexing on stream, my alt was right there on his island overriding his level 100 bonus.
But my problems didn't stop there you see, Squid got an alt account to AFK with his rabbit pet on his island while he was doing other things and since the alt account had no reason to ever leave his island it became much harder to keep control of pet priority and sometimes when I had priority he'd end up kicking everyone from his island because it was too full for his alt account meaning I had lost priority for the rest of the day.
I was going to counter this by spending $30 to buy his alt MVP++ since that rank can bypass guesting limits #ad but unfortunately on March 20th my alt was kicked and Squid's island was closed forever.
The jig was up but by that point I'd already achieved my objective. The two weeks it took to realize what was going on cost him about 2 million potatoes.
Bit of a tangent but I'm pretty sure I lost a few fans over the rabbit pet because everyone would just be hanging out, they'd just be chilling on my island with their level 30 rabbits activated and I'd come see that and I don't care if it's intentional or not but they're sabotaging my potatoes! So I'd kick them out of my island to get priority back and they they'd come back 10 seconds later like:
"Why did you kick me Technoblade? I just wanted to meet my favourite youtuber :("
And I'd be like woah woah relax dude relax it's not a big deal, I have a really good reason I just can't tell you because it is a secret and then you're like:
"It's okay Technoblade I know the reason.. It's because you hate ME SPECIFICALLY I'll just go leave forever now."
And I'm just like WAIT come back noooo so Squid closed his island which meant I couldn't sabotage him anymore, but what if I told you that was also part of my master plan?
You ever noticed how my island has been open to visitors during the potato war? In the last video I explained:
"I made an AFK machine on my island so planted potatoes would keep growing even why I wasn't online."
I was actually using an advanced technique there called LYING, this clip of the AFK pool was from November, I didn't even make the manual farm until January!
You might recall from the first Potato War video depending on whether there's people on the island or not. Because if no one is on the island, Hypixel's not gonna waste resources keeping that server online so they are going to close the server and then when you come back they're gonna go oh well it's been 7 hours and it's gonna run a calculation and give you 7 hours worth of stuff.
But as we've seen before that calculation isn't perfect, so I ran an experiment and I found that when someone's on my island I get 10% more potatoes! And there was only one thing boosting my minions by 10%.. the Farm Crystal.
The farm crystal is an external buff so it's not included in the offline calculation so if there's at least one person on my island and Squid's island is empty I'd get 10% more potatoes! Now it was easy to get people to AFK on my island, what was difficult was getting people off of Squid's island.
You see even months after the first potato war video came out when the initial hype was starting to die down a bit there would be at least one of my own viewers AFK on Squid's island every night. You know.. as a joke! Sometimes I would be on Squid's island on an alt account and I'd see someone in the chat:
"I'm gonna go AFK to help Technoblade win the potato war!"
And I'd beg them, I'd be like "no dude please, please he fixed that months ago, that doesn't hurt him anymore and they'd be like:
"I'M HELPING"
and AFK all, Squid Kid was getting boosted by my own viewers and there was nothing I could do to stop them because what was I going to do, announce that AFKing helped him? Then even MORE people would AFK! I realised that the only way to stop this from happening would be to get Squid to close his own island to visitors without him realising that that's what I wanted all along.
It took four long months but it finally happened, but anyways back to this tweet, so Squid says he closed his island because someone filled his potion system with rookie axes.
A common trolling method in SkyBlock is to fill people's inventories with useless items like boats, but the rookie axe is even worse for players like Squid Kid who use the skyblock add-ons mod which has a feature which makes it very difficult to drop tools out of your inventory.
The point is to stop people from accidentally dropping weapons worth millions of gold, but it also applies to the rookie axe sold in shops for 12 coins, so basically someone dumping a ton of rookie axes into your hopper system is the worst thing someone can do to you in skyblock.
Now I've always been interested in psychology, in fact I almost majored in it so after 6 months of stalking Squid, I had developed a bit of a psychological profile of this man.
I know how he TALKS, I know how he THINKS and when I saw this tweet I instantly knew that thiis man was LYING. Now don't get me wrong I completely believe that somebody dropped rookie axes into his hoppers because it was me but that's not the real reason he closed his island after all I'd been dropping rookie axes into his hoppers for weeks, but he sent that tweet eight minutes after he kicked my alt.
So I get to thinking, why would Squid lie about that? And I realize Squid knows I monitor his tweets, but what he doesn't know is that that was my alt account from his perspective that could have been some random guy with a rabbit and if that was the case I'd have no idea rabbits could be used that way.
As such him lying in that tweet could only mean one thing, he's about to sabotage ME! So i held a stakeout on my island and guess what I found a few hours later, a brand new skyblock account AFKing with a level 1 legendary rabbit. Truthfully I could have stopped squid before he even joined my island but I wanted to catch him in the act because I'm always getting comments saying:
"OMG Technoblade why are you so mean to Squid?"
They don't understand, this is WAR there's no holding back! I know that and Squid knows that, the only difference is that I'm 20 steps ahead, he's playing skyblock while I'm playing Deathnote.
He thinks he can outsmart me with my own strategies because he is yet to realise that he is but a puppet and I the puppeteer DANCE POTATO BOY! DANCE!
So anyways I got on my secret alt account and sent his secret alt account a party invitation and then I DMed him on discord Yo dude accept my invite!
Squid: "Well this is awkward.."
He actually did accept my invite and we had a lovely conversation and then I BANNED him from my island get OUT of here you trued again with another account a few days later, I don't have any proof that this account is him but look at that username "Stinky Bozo" That's a pretty unusual word in fact I've only heard one person say it:
Squid: "Bozo, Bozo, you are Bozo Bozo, nice one Bozo, you're a freaking Bozo Bozo"
Yeah that's right get out of here, I did eventually close my island, but not before I made sure I wouldn't lose potatoes.
After that I moved on to the next phase of my master plan if I wanted to farm more potatoes I'd have to start farming pumpkins, but wait a minute Technoblade, that's the wrong vegetable! Wait.. what do you mean it's a fruit?
Whatever at this point we pretty much maxed out the output of our minions the only thing left to work on was the speed we could farm potatoes by hand! The farming skill gives more crops as you level up so I decided to grind it to the highest level.
I did the math and found that farming potatoes is so incredibly inefficient at levelling up farming that it was actually more worthwhile to build a whole pumpkin farm.
I began the construction of a pumpkin farm large enough that by the time I finished farming it in full, the pumpkins at the beginning would have already regrown. I don't even want to tell you how long it took to build this.
And so I began farming day after day at times I'd farmed for so long without break that the people watching thought that I was botting, word of my pumpkin farming soon reached Squid who began farming pumpkins himself, but he only saw the surface level of what I was doing.
You see I wasn't just levelling up my farming skills I was also levelling up multiple legendary rabbits. There's a reason I wanted to stop people from AFKing on Squid's island even after he started AFKing himself and it's because it's almost IMPOSSIBLE for one man to AFK every hour of the day because servers restart, the game can update, your internet can go out and if you're asleep or doing something else you'll be missing out on those bonuses until you get back.
Even the most dedicated individual might only average 20 hours of AFK coverage per day and those 4 hours alone without the rabbit pet and farming crystal cost you 100 thousand potatoes and over time, that adds up.
To fix this flaw, I got multiple level 100 rabbits some leveled myself and others purchased for tens of millions of coins and then distributed to goons in diverse timezones. I set my island so only guild members could visit and I had my head goon code a discord bot that automatically pinged them within five seconds of the rabbit account leaving my island at which point one of them could log into the island themselves and boost my minions until I got back.
After a few weeks we both reached farming level 50. On May 4th there was a pet update which added among other things the elephant pet which at its highest level could increase crop yield by 25%. Ordinarily a buff to manual farming would be bad for me since it allows squid to catch up that much more quickly, but I had a plan.
The reason farming potatoes by hand is so inefficient is because when you break potatoes they don't grow back so 2/3 of the time you spend farming is spent replanting the potatoes you just harvested. Squid Kid and his viewers spent many hours trying to find a workaround to this even building an elaborate redstone machine in an attempt to somewhat automate replanting, but in the end they failed to find a better method and continued farming normally:
Squid: "I should be able to plant five (potatoes) at the same time, why is it so dang slow it takes forever"
What if I told you I found a way, you see back in January I had an idea, what if I had the minions plant for me. At the time this was impractical for two reasons,
One, I didnt have enough farming bonuses for it to be worth sacrificing the minions normal output, but this was solved when i got farming level 50 secondly potato minions were simply too slow, but since then they've buffed fly catchers, added the rabbit pet and added foul flesh, a new fuel source which buffs minion speeds by 90% even then the potato minions weren't quite fast enough to keep up, but I thought to myself if they're only going to be planting they don't need to waste an upgrade slot on a super compactor, so I spent another 250 million coins to get 48 total flycatchers.
Squid and I both started farming potatoes but his method could get at most 200 thousand potatoes per hour whereas my method with double flycatchers even after subtracting the amount the minions would have made themselves could get 410 thousand potatoes per hour. For the next three weeks Squid farmed hours every day but I was farming at the same time.
Squid: "What are the odds he's farming right now, five bits I bet techno is doing the same thing just has like a 130% faster way to do it"
In this time I expanded my lead by another 5 million potatoes, but at this point Squid and I had been farming potatoes for almost a year and we were still farming hours every day with no end in sight neither of us wanted this to continue so we came to an agreement.
Whoever got to 500 million potatoes first would win the potato war. Hypixel even pitched in saying he'd give a surprise to the winner. Now I was only at 300 million potatoes at this point, but I figured I had this in the bag I mean I've been tracking Squid's potato count, I accounted for his afk coverage by having the discord bot track his alt accounts logins and I knew how much he was farming by hand because I was monitoring his farming experience.
With a 45 million potato lead and a farming method twice as fast as his own, what could possibly go wrong?
JUNE 6
Things go very wrong, it was just a small update with a few quality of life changes, you know like an enchantment which replants crops after you farm them and an item which automatically compacts items in your inventory so you don't have to spend time on that. You know, two minor changes which just so happened to buff Squid's farming method from 200 thousand potatoes to 1.2 million potatoes (per hour) and my farming method becomes WORTHLESS.
Suddenly my 45 million potato lead goes from insurmountable to yes Squid could farm that in a couple days, Squid starts putting in crazy hours:
Squid: "If I do 12 hours a day can he keep up absolutely not, people say Technoblade never dies but I'm putting him in the grave."
Meanwhile I'm sitting here in shambles, I was out here with my lab coat on doing the science coming up with new never before seen potato farming techniques and this man just goes admins please replanting is too hard and they buff his farming method six-fold!
Was that it? Eight months of plotting and scheming just to fail in the final stretch? NO i couldn't except that, I was going to win this war whatever the cost. I immediately drank three months of mystical mushroom soup and got to work expanding my old potato farm. A project which would take 25 hours over the next couple days.
I knew I was playing the game as intended when I realised that the only reason I ever put on one of the strongest armour sets in the game was to use its 3% speed bonus to optimize tilling dirt. For the next two weeks I did nothing except eat, sleep and farm potatoes, there were only three interuptions each of which cost me millions of potatoes. The first was a dentist appointment and the second was when I had to play in Minecraft Championships.
Squid: "What do I message him? Was it worth your time losing MCC? ehehehheheehhe" "It took me 2 hours to lose MCC but it'll cost you 9 months to lose the potato war, kayyyyyy RELAX, RELAX, hello?"
Besides that there was only one other time:
"I had to go to the store the other day, I had to interrupt my potato farming because my dad was like hey can you go to the store and pick up my medicine and I was like, can I really tell him that I'm not getting his medicine because I need to farm potatoes? Can I really? Look I'm an atheist, but when God sends me to hell I want him to hesitate, okay? I want him to hesitate for a few seconds.
But Squid was also farming several hours a day and he had evem found a way to maxmize his afk coverage. He started sleeping with his headphones on and had his goons wake him up via discord call whenever his alt left his island.
As someone with a discord bot tracking his online activity I can tell you right now that that man is telling the truth. He was waking up multiple times per night, I don't know why he didn't just use backups like me, he actually revealed to me later on that one of my original goons betrayed me and gave him one of our internal documents and the list of backup pet users is literally RIGHT there at the top of the first page I have no idea how he missed it.
But anywas squid logged off an hour and a half ago, he should be entering REM sleep just about now it would be a real shame if someone woke him. I didn't actually wake him up because I wasn't sure if intentional sleep deprivation was legally considered torture or not so I decided to shelf that strategy for the time being.
And after sacrificing two weeks of my life I finally reached 500 million potatoes.
"WE WIN THEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESE"
Squid was shocked:
Squid: "He's at 499? No he's not, dude there is actually like, it's not possible! NOOOOO it's not, this can't be reaaal!"
Squid had been certain that he was right on my tail.
Squid: "I don't know how fr behind I am, 100% less than 30 million"
And yet when I won the war I had a lead of over 88 million potatoes. How did i do it? It's just as Sun Tzu says:
"All war is deception." -Sun Tzu
You see I knew after the second potato war video things were gonna get more difficult from here on out, because at this point Squid had a full on organization backing him he had goons, a cabal of billionaires funding his every move, 100s of stream viewers on how to farm potatoes more quickly and reporting on my every move so in that video I prepared my final trick. I hid my true potato count.
The number shown in my video wasn't edited, but it didnt include the millions of potatoes left uncollected in my minions. I also said that my minions now produce 1.58 million potatoes, but they're actually producing 1.75 million because the rabbit pet doesn't actually boost your minions by 30%, it boosts them by 43% why? I don't know it's probably bugged and Squid couldn't realise the real number when he got a level 100 rabbit of his own because he was being sabotaged!
But the biggest reason my lead expanded by that much was because over those two weeks, while Squid averaged 8 hours of farming per day, I averaged 11!
Squid: "I just can't believe how much he's farming."
MenacingBanana: "The admins were legit saying that Techno is just like so focused, it baffled them at how like just insane he was he had no breaks!"
Squid: "I swear to god this Technoblade dude is focused on another level"
Towards the very end Squid had one of his goons write a program to chart how much I was farming by tracking how much experience my elephant pet had, but by then it was too late. Once I won the war there was nothing left to do except celebrate my victory with grace and humility.
Squid: "OHHH MY GOOOOSH he's doing a little emote on me ooohh my not like this come onnnn, was was this necessary?"
"Watch me dance Squid Kid you looose! You lose the WAR!"
After the war the admins added a temporary NPC to the skyblock hub, the potato king it gave out a new talisman which boosted potato minions by 5%, a basket for the top 1000 potato farmers and to me, the POTATO CROWN engraved upon it:
"All men can see the tactics whereby I conquer, but what none can see is the strategy out of which victory is evolved." -Sun Tzu, The Art of War
That NPC is gone now, I took too long to edit this video! I gained a lot from the Potato War; patience, discipline, carpal tunnel. I guess my main regret is that I bribed Squid's discord admin to give my alt permission to see into his secret text channels and then HE NEVER USED THEM ALL YEAR!
With the war over Squid took down his potato minions and my fields have gone unfarmed while we were enemies I still respect Squid Kid, I understand now that it is only with a worthy rival that once can reach their fullest potential, while he may have lost the war, he's gone from 70 subscribers to having tens of thousands of fans so it can't be said that he's lost completely. For my part I've realized now that rank number isn't an achievement, it's a prison which forces you to dedicate your life to defending a temporary title, but now with the war finally over... I'm free
Wandering Nomad plays whilst Techno begs for subs
Transcript by u/ethwoo
submitted by ThePeaceKeeper1 to OneWordBan [link] [comments]

Karma on Minecraft

Here's a Minecraft story yeah I know Minecraft listen my life isn't that exciting screw you
Here is the story
CCM:Cool Coalition Member CO: coalition owner M:me Sl: server leader TP: trade partner
I used to play on a Minecraft server and I'm not playing on it anymore because of this whole debacle I used to have an underground base it got destroyed and I left came back later and I started building a base somewhere else deep in the forests north of our villages and I was enjoying it. I eventually found skeleton horses killed their riders but I got a healthy horse and found another team if riders got way more skeleton horses and I messaged people basically like this "yo I got skeleton horses want any?" and than TP responded said "ya I would like one." I told her my coords and she came up and got her a skeleton horse and we breeded our dogs and as payment for some reason gave me her netherite armor and tools. (Ya I know I'm that cool) anyway so I asked TP to help me do a couple of achievements to get the clothes they give you for doing them. I went down there and TP arrived with CO I don't know what happened but the two started fighting I was confused TP explain CO was a renowned griefer I took a couple screenshots and showed SL she reset the server to before the fight I down the rail system they came from the CO knew that we were gonna take a couple things because he is a dick. I got shot a couple times by him and ran into another base and saw a destroyed base I took a screenshot of the destroyed base I walked deeper into there and the jackass started acting innocent I snuck off to grab horse armor you know reperations. When I got the horse armor he attacked me after a fight in the mine infront if the base I died and lost it all. We called up SL and she reset the server and I got back my armor. After a week and I had gotten fed up with the server until I got the message. CO told me that he stole my house I simply said "ok do what you want to see ya" and I left the chat. Here starts the revenge late at night I came back online and rolled off their base and looked around seeing signs with their real names so I thought maybe they have left forever or maybe they are gone for the day? So I put a sign saying "may I join?"- gamertag (I changed gamertag) the next morning they were gone so I smiled and I started to take shit and burn down buildings I killed horses but they had Skelton horses they had stolen mine and murdered them so I took those horses and rode them off. I wanted them to be free and I started to burn shit down and I loved it I killed the villagers they owned accept the ones that don't do anything and I took a screenshot and published it on the server feed I went offline. When I came back everything was back to normal I was furious. Later on this fight went on and I left I came back later and Im in visitor mode I don't care but I just feel pride I got revenge. SL told me I was banned but I frequently come back just can't do shit. Me and TP are still friends.
Bad ending but I bet you get the idea of revenge
submitted by tf2furry to StoriesGoneWild [link] [comments]

Let's talk about predatory practices in the videogame industry and what we can do as consumers.

Videogames hold a very dear place in my heart. They allow me a reprieve from the daily problems of my life. They give me a space to share with friends I wouldn’t have otherwise. Every so often, a videogame will say something that touches me deeply. I’ve cried at least a couple times at the end of Metal Gear Solid 4. Maybe your experience with videogames is not quite the same, but I bet what I say rings somewhat true for anyone who’s picked up the hobby.
I’d argue that, as a piece of media, they’re works of art. They connect us and allow us to express ourselves. I’ve met some very special people to me, just by playing games online. And I’ve been able to play with them, in sandboxes and zombie infested lands and truly bonded over the time we’ve shared.
But games are also the product of hard work. They still are a piece of media to be distributed. At the end of the day, a game must be sold to keep the lights on: there’s developers to be paid, assets to be invested in, and stakeholders to answer to. So game companies adopt DRM policies, to thwart piracy and defend their product. They research new ways to reach broader audiences, and to hold their attention over the competition.
But I fear that, throughout the years, we’ve gotten it twisted. Game companies don’t talk in terms of “fun” but engagement nowadays. They don’t even call games as such anymore: platforms, live services – games as a service. But a service to who? I brought this question to a buddy who goes by the nickname EndlesNights, he replied with this:

“It's clear they only care about their bottom lines… For instance, how can we be in a time with simultaneously both record setting high profits and yet people are being let go from these corporations?”
“You can go into further details about the negative implications and implementations of always online DRM. For instance on launch day & during big events, the severs are almost always overstrained which prevents everyone from accessing the server. It creates an arbitrary expiry date for the game, where the severs will no longer be cost effective to maintain and no one will be able to launch the game anymore. It provides no benefits to the end users, and the general ficklety of the services has only turned potential customers away to acquire pirated & cracked copies.”

A lot of these AAA companies CEOs don’t really care for the games they make. To them, it’s just another product. Bobby Kotick is infamous for many things. Among these, one that has stuck to the back of my mind was his belief that videogames should be sold like detergent. Back in 2005 he hired a couple of Proctor & Gambler ex-employees for his publishing division. When interviewed, this was his reply:

"Processes that have worked well in packaged goods industry -- bringing goods to market, the process of market research and internalizing the business -- have all added the most value to our company…"Source: https://www.marketwatch.com/story/activision-adds-publishing-execs-with-pg-experience

Fast-forward a bit: it’s 2009, and Activison just merged with Blizzard. A bunch of their IPs were dropped, and amongst these was Brutal Legend, which seemed like it would never be published under Activision. So Double Fine negotiated with EA, who would end up publishing the game. So, of course, Activison sues EA trying to block the release of the game.Source: https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-2009-jun-05-fi-ct-lawsuit5-story.html
This is what Tim Schafer (Founder of Double Fine Productions) had to say regarding Mr. Kotick, after Double Fine got sued by Activision over the release of Brutal Legend by EA, back in 2010:

"His obligation is to his shareholders… Well, he doesn't have to be as much of a dick about it, does he? I think there is a way he can do it without being a total prick… He [Kotick] makes a big deal about not liking games, and I just don't think that attitude is good for games in general. I just don't think we're an industry of widgets...”
"We can approach it like we approach bars of soap, where you're just trying to make the cheapest bar of soap. He definitely has that that kind of widget-maker attitude. I don't think he's great for the industry, overall. You can't just latch onto something when it's popular and then squeeze the life out of it and then move on to the next one. You have to at some point create something, build something… Hopefully he'll go back to another industry soon.”Source: https://www.eurogamer.net/articles/schafer-calls-bobby-kotick-a-total-prick

The lawsuit was settled outside of court, btw. But the judge said he was “… strongly inclined to rule against Activision’s motion to stop the game’s release.” You draw your own conclusions.Source: https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-2009-aug-07-fi-activision7-story.html
So, it’s pretty clear that, at least for Activision’s CEO, games don’t hold value beyond the revenue they can bring into the company. The outcome? After the success of CoD 4, Modern Warfare, CoD became a franchise that released games yearly. The games weren’t that different from each other, and each came with it’s own new monetization scheme: microtransactions, map-packs, lootboxes, etc. This is bad. And what’s worse, the quality of the games isn’t always up to par. It can’t be, if you’re expected to pump out a product year after year, using a cookie cutter formula. And CoD isn’t the worst example of this kind of thing, it’s just the most popular and polished.
The lead up question is, are we getting the short end of the stick as consumers? And I’m hoping to build a solid case of proof and evidence to say “Yes, we are!” This attitude is not localized to Activision, but widespread across the industry. It’s not the exception, is the rule. And, somehow throughout the years, we’ve just accepted this as the way things are.
I feel that we, as gamers, make tons of excuses for game companies when they mess up in the pursuit of money, out of misplaced loyalty. Because the games they put out mean more to us than just entertainment. But AAA game companies abuse our demand for games. They wring us for all our worth with a smile and then heckle us in subtle, and not so subtle ways (Yes, I have a phone Blizzard, your game is still a free PoS for the Chinese market.)
So, the real question is, what can we do about it?
All we can do is try to rally together and vote with our wallets: the only language they understand.
I'm here to tell you the current state of the market isn't fine. We’ve gotten to this point, not because games started out as 60 dollar products with a real cost of upwards 100 dollars and spendings on the side - we let it get to this point. I’m here to put forward the motion that, sometimes, we just have to let games we love die and move on. Another one will come to take it's place. It won't be the same, but it always does anyways. It is something regrettable, but when game companies predate on consumers this hard.
Below, I’ve put together a list of companies I'm personally boycotting, along with videos and articles that back up the reasons I have for this boycott. IDK if anyone will care to go through this, I certainly hope at least one other person takes me seriously and at least reads through it, just to be informed. That’s all I can ask for.

EA

  1. Lays off 350 people, while hiring a new CEO and giving him multimillion dollar bonus
    1. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3RZ1zfEe0W8
    2. Article: https://www.businessinsider.com/electronic-arts-laying-off-350-employees-2019-3
  2. FIFA 2020 was basically a copy paste of FIFA 2019 with no Quality Assurance. This is the best example of what yearly franchises actually are. You can tell here since it's unpolished: they just forces gamers to reset their progress to 0 and spend more money trying to play catch up with their last year's progress, all the while including very minor updates to the game itself.
    1. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9duLp9PZtWM
    2. Article: https://www.imore.com/why-you-shouldnt-buy-fifa-20-nintendo-switch
  3. List of dead studios at the hands of EA (They ran the companies and their IPs to the ground)
    1. Maxis Studios
    2. Westwood Studios
    3. Visceral Games
    4. Many more (List)... https://heavy.com/games/2017/10/studios-ea-has-killed-visceral-games/
  4. They introduced microtransactions into a single player game, allowing you to prepurchase this, along with some day 1 dlc. Maybe it's to be expected now, and they’d done it before with Mass Effect 3 (And Ubisoft did it with Assassin’s Creed), but they did it with reckless abandon.
  5. Dead Space 3 will have microtransactions, to massive public uproar:
    1. Video: https://youtu.be/6Myy5Khm12A?t=161
    2. Article: https://www.eurogamer.net/articles/2013-01-22-dead-space-3-includes-micro-transactions-for-buying-better-weapons
  6. Oh and then they used that as a platform to shove microtransactions into EVERY GAME
    1. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ra113_O9R4E
  7. Always online DRM for a Single Player game! (Simcity 2013) This was one of the building blocks for games as a service, as this form of DRM is widely tolerated nowadays. They argued it was needed back then. They wouldn’t really say why.
    1. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=maU7vPrNRDI
    2. Article: https://kotaku.com/simcity-is-online-only-but-it-promises-not-to-repeat-d-5915377
  8. Then they backed down on that once it flopped, because they couldn’t sustain it:
    1. Article: https://www.theregister.co.uk/2014/01/13/simcity_offline_turnaround/
  9. Did I talk about the Sims online and how they only care about PR? Here's a BOOK on MMOs (just read the abstract), Second Life, and how messed up Sims online was: they never policed it, banned users if they gave them negative PR, not if they were hacking scumbags.
    1. Book: https://mitpress.mit.edu/books/second-life-herald
  10. How can we forget Battlefront 2 lootboxes, gating characters and skills behind "randomized", definitely overpriced, booster packs.
    1. Lootboxes, a rundown of the issue Article: https://mashable.com/2017/11/13/star-wars-battlefront-2-loot-box-controversy/
    2. Lootboxes get noticed (Yongyea): Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ndi8D2eRu4
    3. Lootboxes get noticed (Jim Sterling) Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XUfkGSbabSo
    4. EA's reply Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1qfo1Bv91ws
    5. The turning point (Belgium defines lootboxes as gambling): Video:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=28K6GkkaTik
    6. Some dood flexing his lootboxes online. This is what it all amounts to Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bj9xrUolKb4
  11. NEVER FORGET FIFA LOOTBOXES AND HOW EA REFUSES TO TAKE RESPONSIBLITY
    1. Kid empties parent's bank account trying to get a FIFA player card Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHy7XueW6dc
    2. Article: https://www.thesun.co.uk/sport/football/9475199/kids-parents-bank-messi-fifa-19/
    3. The addictive cost of Predatory Videogame Monetization (The Jimquisition) Video: https://youtu.be/7S-DGTBZU14
    4. Full UK parliament hearing Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jPkyERMbKU8

Bioware

  1. Bioware devs getting overworked to the point of breaking down (Stress Casualities!). This came out in an article by Kotaku’s Jason Schreier about Anthem.
    1. Bioware working staff to tears and calling it "Magic" Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GN1uV57hE_w
    2. What went wrong with anthem? (Story by Kotaku's Jason Schreier) Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYDJNf4LyBsArticle: https://kotaku.com/how-biowares-anthem-went-wrong-1833731964
  2. Mass Effect Andromeda was a rushed piece of crap, just riding the popularity of Mass Effect 3
    1. Mass Effect Andromeda Troubled development history Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYDJNf4LyBs
  3. Bug makes Anthem more FUN. Bioware fixes regardless of playerbase's protests
    1. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYDJNf4LyBs
    2. Article: https://www.polygon.com/2019/3/11/18260057/anthem-loot-update-bug-boycott

Activision-Blizzard

  1. Record revenue of the quarter after massive layoffs (770 people)
    1. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tmK43DV_wVY
    2. Article: https://kotaku.com/activision-blizzard-begins-massive-layoffs-1832571288
  2. Made Diablo 3 online only, added auction house while reducing drop rates to non-existence. On a loot-based dungeon crawler. They didn't even prepare for the amount of players who wanted to play their game at launch! They also backpedalled the AH by the expansion, upping the drop rates, prohibiting trading "because it's not in the spirit" (BTW they just wanted to stop players selling items on the side), but THE PROFIT by then. And we praised 'em for "fixing” the game after years. Ugh.
    1. Error 37, couldn't login at launch: A light read: https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/error-37
    2. Article about Action house: https://blog.hoard.exchange/diablo-iiis-failed-auction-house-why-true-ownership-won-t-save-your-game-c6d692b9de1
  3. Bans player for freedom of speech. Players are on uproar. Congress gets in on the action. Blizzard backpedals publicly with the most NOTHING apology I've ever seen. Player (Blitzchung) is still banned.
    1. Article Talking about issue and the ensued apology: https://www.businessinsider.com/blizzard-apology-blizzcon-blitzchung-hong-kong-china-2019-11
    2. Video explaining issue: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OdCNGszoP0U
    3. Blizzard CEO emits “nothing” apology at Blizzcon, play by play Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-T2_PU8rHtk
    4. Break down, of nothing apology, if you had doubts:Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDAcrhfQDqI
  4. COD opening lootboxes in front of other players gives watcher rewards to pressure them into buying lootboxes
    1. Short 1-minute video showing this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Nra1UG4_1c
    2. Video explaining (By Yongyea): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hkkpHVjVyFQ
  5. COD Modern Warfare Remastered did not include map-pack, then resold as dlc at a HIGHER price than the original game
    1. Article: https://kotaku.com/for-some-reason-modern-warfare-remastereds-map-pack-is-1794563753
    2. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gY9vBu0z8NQNotice how the guy, almost by reflex, makes a disclaimer to defend his PoV after pointing out this clearly predatory practice (which it is, if you think of what a remaster should be and the actual cost in production compared to the OG release, but I digress). This is what we do to each other by defending the companies. We attack each other to see who’s right and wrong, instead of just letting people voice their opinion freely (likewise you could voice support in the company’s social media “keep doing you” and the such, but it takes all kinds. Again, I digress).
  6. COD Black Ops 4 sneaks lootboxes into the game
    1. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJYjvFsF-U8
    2. Article: https://www.destructoid.com/loot-boxes-sneak-into-call-of-duty-black-ops-4-under-a-new-name-543584.phtml

EPIC Games

  1. Cornering the Market via Exclusivity Deals, instead of making a good storefront. Here's some games that signed an exclusivity deal with EPIC Games:
    1. Metro Exodus
    2. Borderlands 3
    3. Outer Worlds
    4. Detroit: Become Human
    5. Many more! Full List: https://www.gamewatcher.com/news/Epic-games-store-exclusives
  2. Spyware, stealing your Steam Data
    1. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O8xi69sBbwo
    2. Apologist Article (So you can read both Sides): https://www.usgamer.net/articles/the-epic-games-store-is-spyware-how-a-toxic-accusation-was-started-by-anti-chinese-sentiment
    3. Reddit Thread that fired the controversy: https://www.reddit.com/PhoenixPoint/comments/b0rxdq/epic_game_store_spyware_tracking_and_you/
  3. Introduced Battle Passes cuz, who cares as long as "cosmetics only"
    1. Forbes Article – The Psychology of Fortnite’s Battle Pass: Explains how Battle Passes hook players by making them work for their reward. The sucky bit is that they also charge an entry fee, so to speak, to unlock your hard earned rewards. https://www.forbes.com/sites/jamiemadigan/2019/07/06/the-psychology-of-fortnites-battle-pass/#7f7f45015e61
    2. Cosmetics matter: Video by Jim Sterling exemplifying why, and how games as a service are killing videogames. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyUutk1xDew
    3. Here’s an example of a good game with cosmetic customization.Code Vein Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BUtLrzHctKU
    4. Honestly, maybe I'm a dinasour that's been around for a while but I remember when cosmetics were unlockables and not DLC (as late as 2009, just look at Resident Evil 5, and that game GOT chopped up into DLC). Remember the uproar surrounding Oblivion Horse armor?Video about Horse Armor: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uopSzlYo7sg

Bethesda

  1. Fallout 76 promising "No game-affecting dlc" and "no Season pass"
    1. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kR28-3lPcZA
  2. Breaks promise repeatedly
    1. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otT6w0-jGI0
    2. Article: Added Repair Kits https://www.criticalhit.net/gaming/bethesda-breaks-promise-on-cosmetics-only-atom-store-adds-repair-kits/
    3. News Post: Bethesda justifies adding non-cosmetics to store by saying, “We’ve looked at all the data” - platforms off that to break promise further https://fallout.bethesda.net/en/article/6eNqXDms6VbtrHubE26y4new-wastelanders-release-date-private-worlds-the-atomic-shop-and-more?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app
  3. Fallout 1st and private server bugs (Stash disappearing, private worlds not private)
    1. Announcement Video: https://youtu.be/CMF5wSmQkDY
    2. Service is broken (SURPRISE) Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMF5wSmQkDY
    3. Article: https://arstechnica.com/gaming/2019/10/bethesda-pledges-to-fix-early-fallout-1st-bugs-and-complaints/
  4. Reportedly Banning a user for reporting a bug
    1. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PPabZ3vcqmc
    2. Article: https://boundingintocomics.com/2019/11/12/bethesda-reportedly-bans-creator-of-fallout-76-interactive-map-for-finding-and-reporting-an-exploit/
  5. Canvas bag debacle (buyers got a crappy nylon one, then after months of complains, actually got promised bags)
    1. Video with a nice parody song intro: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TvGdhzDMy4I
    2. Article: https://www.pcgamer.com/bethesda-is-finally-gonna-ship-those-damn-fallout-76-canvas-bags/
  6. One of the special edition helmets turned MOULDY and became a health hazard
    1. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhA1NmRJPDQ
    2. Article: https://www.pcgamer.com/fallout-76-collectable-helmets-are-being-recalled-due-to-mould-risk/
  7. Nuka Rum (Terrible rum, horrible material for bottle, overpriced as all hell)
    1. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9naBulH2e9s
    2. Article: https://theradlands.com/2018/09/10/nuka-dark-rum-is-insulting/
  8. Stupid overpriced jacket for game they are not fixing
    1. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cReHb8xwmsI
    2. Article: https://www.pcgamer.com/twitter-reacts-to-dollar276-fallout-76-jacket-with-a-bunch-of-bag-jokes/
  9. Refuses to refund 76, forced by Australian government, but even that had caveats.
    1. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yw3fl3wsyJ4
    2. Forum thread discussing refunds: https://www.giantbomb.com/fallout-76/3030-68742/forums/bethesda-refusing-refunds-for-fallout-76-1859009/ (This is bad. The consumer itself is going “you can’t demand a refund just because the end-product is bad) MY DUDE.
  10. Elder Scrolls Blades being a piece of crap.
    1. (Chest unlock timers in my RPG are awful)Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJHjtFx_STI
  11. Horse armor! (First time cosmetic DLCs were introduced by anyone! It was Bethesda and it was Horse Armor! We laughed at this back in the day.)
    1. It’s even a meme!: https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/events/horse-armor
  12. Rereleased Doom on the Switch with new DRM for the 20 year old titles!
    1. Article: https://www.theverge.com/2019/7/26/8932026/doom-library-switch-drm-log-in-online-connection-bethesda-quakecon
    2. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dh7nZ9t2eJA (DISCLAIMER) They removed the DRM after uproar. They even fixed the buggy music.

Ubisoft

  1. Most egregious example of greedy microtransactions, with their "Time savers"
    1. Ghost Reckon Breakpoint time savers include skill points and more: Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IM9JLr5KZJs
    2. Article: https://www.polygon.com/2019/10/4/20899162/ghost-recon-breakpoint-microtransactions-ubisoft-time-savers-ps4-xbox-one-pc
  2. Then they backpedalled on it and acted like those getting into the storefront in the first place Was a mistake
    1. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qIPUILFl0eo
    2. Article: https://www.pcgamer.com/ubisoft-removes-ghost-recon-breakpoints-booster-and-skill-point-microtransactions/

Warner Brothers

  1. Lootboxes in Shadow of War (which has some multiplayer, and is mostly single player, making it P2W on top of scummy. Double Scummy.)
    1. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2TXWdyrqFP8
  2. Removes Shadow of War lootboxes over half a year later. Backpedals like it's their sudden realization. What about all the players that already paid for lootboxes? What about the people that were upset about this for months?
    1. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_XEMAVTxqE
    2. Article: https://www.pcgamer.com/middle-earth-shadow-of-war-is-ditching-loot-boxes/
  3. MKX Devs Burnout after getting worked up to 100 hours a week.
    1. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V_f_qe1-75w
    2. Article: https://www.pcgamer.com/former-devs-speak-out-about-severe-crunch-at-mortal-kombat-studio/

Telltale (It's dead now, but it's getting "revived" so worth remembering)

  1. Massive layoffs, got sued even after closing down.
    1. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vq6iX1htl28
    2. Article: https://www.polygon.com/2018/9/25/17901106/telltale-layoffs-lawsuit-warn-act
  2. Getting bought out by another company and "revived"
    1. Article: https://www.polygon.com/2019/8/28/20835854/telltale-games-return-walking-dead-lcg-entertainment

2K

  1. NBA 2K20 promoting gambling to children LIKE IT'S FINE
    1. Article: https://www.pcgamesn.com/nba-2k20/microtransactions (Video in Article has been taken down, here’s some more vids).
    2. MyTeam actual trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FwN4VYzD02g
    3. Yongyea analyzes trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-junD46e9Iw
    4. PEGI defends NBA2k Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=roddqD3Xqs0

Gearbox

  1. Randy Pitchford assaults employees and denies due revenue.
    1. Article: https://www.pcgamer.com/former-claptrap-voice-actor-details-randy-pitchford-assault-allegations/
    2. Video by Yongyea: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7bEjCG_D8s
    3. Video by Jim Sterling: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RhXXpGFU2-s
  2. Alien Colonial Marines was a lie. The Demo didn't match the final product.
    1. NSFW Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eG1q3X3HxeA
    2. Photos for Comparison in this Article: https://www.ign.com/articles/2013/02/14/did-aliens-colonial-marines-screenshots-lie-to-you
    3. Article: Sega outs Gearbox for lying: https://www.destructoid.com/sega-outs-gearbox-for-lying-in-aliens-colonial-marines-case-280655.phtml

Capcom

  1. BIG day 1 dlc offender. They chopped up some characters OFF their fighting game, then added them later as DLC. The reason how we know the characters were ready at launch is because the character's data CAME WITH THE DISC and the DLC just unlocked them. They sold you a full 60 dollar game and then wanted some more, by hiding the actual cost of the FULL game through sketchy means.
    1. Article: https://www.cinemablend.com/games/Capcom-Gets-Busted-Disc-DLC-Discovered-Street-Fighter-X-Tekken-40114.html

Konami

  1. Killed P.T.
    1. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iRTwUShPFN0
  2. Full disclosure, personal grudge: Messed up MGS5. Had a fallout with Kojima, fired him, tried to remove him from the credits like he never was a part of it.
    1. Article: https://www.polygon.com/2015/3/19/8257283/metal-gear-solid-konami-branding
    2. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VYLC0rLBCtI
  3. Most messed up, internal, corporate policies I've EVER seen or heard of.
    1. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=okNtRgMGNmc
  4. Konami blacklisting ex-employee, messing with their health insurance and future employment opportunities
    1. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pJawlLSkj7E
  5. Game franchise PACHINKO (Turning beloved franchises into gambling machines)
    1. Silent hill pachinko trailer https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ht4dbyPIcM
    2. Metal gear Pachinko trailer (LOOK AT THOSE GRAPHICS GODDAMNIT) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WVSRjJL1bv8
    3. Castlevania Pachinko trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UN0Te7uTi7o

Nintendo’s Mobile Division

  1. Pads out Mario Kart Mobile with bots, WHILE not being upfront about it.
    1. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jiOCyTsg-yoIt makes you believe you’re playing with real players
  2. Animal Crossing Pocket Camp has 2 subscription models
    1. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDaGQ-vQC8k
    2. Article: https://www.polygon.com/2019/11/20/20974027/animal-crossing-pocket-camp-subscription-plans-price-features-nintendoAnd of course the game gets crippled to incentivize you to pay for a sub.
Conclusion:
If it wasn't clear by now, the companies that come out with the game's ratings, like ESRB and PEGI, that should be watching out for consumers, just cover corporate interests! Parent’s get the short end of the stick and companies just reply with empty PR statements, like “You can check the Parental Controls for your system,” which is corporate lingo for “you’re not getting your money back, we don’t care, sorry not sorry.”
Most of the money doesn't even go to the devs, if that wasn't obvious by now. They get overworked (sometimes forced to do up to 100 hours a week!), then they get laid off anyways. The money goes to executives and stakeholders, who give each other multi-million dollar bonuses and shares. These execs act like they are nice and care about the consumer, and they even do self-deprecating jokes like they are self-aware. It's just a facade to placate us, to stay on our good side while they suck more money away from us.
Game companies don’t validate their users’ grievances. They act like nothing is wrong, shut up complainers until the noise gets too loud (which not always happens) and then just do the thing they’ve been told to do for months while pretending they came up with on their own, or act like it’s some sudden realization and they’ve always had our best interests in mind...
If that isn't obvious scumbag behavior IDK what is.
I believe it is time that we as consumers put our foot down. Not because everyone else is gonna do it too and we’re gonna enforce some major change, but just because we, as individuals, refuse to be abused so. It’s up to each of us. And if enough people follow suit the market WILL change. Even if it doesn’t, that’s not a good enough reason to keep meekly paying the abusive corporations.
So, this is a list of practices I believe should be stopped, by not supporting games that enforce them:

  1. Always online DRM.
  2. Microtransactions on full 60 dollar games.
  3. Microtransactions on exclusively Singleplayer games.
  4. Time saving microtransactions. (If you have to save my time on a game I played for entertainment, then you’re crippling it by design, instead of focusing on making it fun… just so I have to spend money to MAKE it fun. Just give me back cheat codes.)
  5. Pre-ordering (stop throwing your money at incomplete products and empty promises out of hype and misplaced loyalty).
  6. Season passes
  7. Justifying gating all good cosmetics behind microtransactions “because they don’t affect gameplay anyway”.I want to touch on this one.Cosmetics affect my gameplay experience. Growing up, a favorite part of a bunch of games was customizing my character, making it feel my own. It matters, that’s why game companies charge 10 dollars for a bunch of pixels; because enough players pay for those. Just look to Minecraft and Terraria and all those sandboxes, for crying out loud, and tell me it would be the same without the creative freedom to mod in your own skins. Why are we defending them taking that away and gating it behind MORE money? I’m not saying “DLC that comes afterwards should be free”. I’m saying, when I pay for a full priced game, I expect the full content they got, not a maimed version of it. I’m not buying a game in installments, that’s what episodic games are for.Seriously, there’s even a sense of elitism between paying players and “base skin” players in many games (Fortnite comes to mind prominently). Here, check out this talk that explains the psychology behind it in brutally honest terms by the very corporate execs that don’t really care about their consumers. Infamous Video - Let’s go whaling: Tricks for monetizing mobile game players with free-to-play: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xNjI03CGkb4
  8. With that said, Battle Passes also get on the list. On top of wanting you to spend money on cosmetics, they make you grind for them. You’re no longer buying the cosmetic, you’re buying the option to get the cosmetic by investing ungodly amount of hours on their product, on top of whatever price the Battle Pass has. This is just psychological manipulation on top of unfair content gating.
  9. Gambling in video games: from lootboxes, to NBA’s predatory attempt on children. All of it. Gambling in videogames should receive an “Adult Only” rating, but if you can’t trust the ratings companies, why would you even risk being exposed to this BS?
Why support any of this anymore?
Disclaimer:
This is my take on the matter. I’ve tried to be impartial and back-up my arguments and provide as much info as I can. Truth be told, I’m quite bitter, and I’m aware. This list hurts me. I'd rather not support companies that make their living off the blood and sweat of hardworking people, and then spit in their faces. Who abuse the consumer and e-sport players and then try to take it back with lies. Who apologize like a manipulator trying to keep you nice and subdued, but do nothing about it.
We get a choice of which business practices we support and which we don't. It's up to each of us. I don’t fully expect many people to actively boycott these companies: they do provide us with valued entertainment. But I urge anyone who reads this to not be so quick to forgive, and to never forget what it used to be like, how we got here today, and what it’s cost us.
I leave you with this: These videos are a more in-depth look behind these scummy practices, and break it down pretty neatly, top to bottom.
CAAApitalism: The Successful Failure of Videogames (The Jimquisition).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HmW0GhdDOvw
The Trouble with the Video Game Industry | Philosphy Tube
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYkLVU5UGM8
submitted by IMightHaveBeenHacked to Games [link] [comments]

Let's Create a list of Good Action RPGs and Action Adventures (like Zelda)

Users had many doubts about great Android Action RPGs. I see a thread called "Recommend me an Action RPG" everytime I enter here (not "everytime",but you know what I'm saying).
So,here I came with this idea : let's create a list of well made Action RPGs? The list will be separated in: , Recommended and Not tested yet or not tested enough. Simple as that.But I can add another categories later.
People here can discuss and recommend games,just like me. However, I ask you to post impressions on the game, even if they are short reviews or thoughts. Informations like "Internet Connection" (Required or not) or "Game size" would be very useful too.
But if you really can't write.even short reviews,just share the game with us - I will include it on the list.
Let's Begin.
Recommended
Stage Type/Dungeon Crawl
Infos: Paid - OFFLINE - Controller Supported
Remake of the first Seiken Densetsu,Adventures of Mana is a pricey,pretty straightforward,but really polished game.It have thousands of dungeons,weapon types,and other gameplay elements that adds to the experience.Graphics are now 3D,somehow limited but with great performance and nice backgrounds.Sounds and music were revamped to this new version,and that brings us with loud and clear arrangements. Square Enix did a great job on this one.
Infos: Paid - OFFLINE
Real time, party based. Lots of meta game on terms of party composition and half and build options. Fairly short, but a great game.
Infos: Paid - OFFLINE
"Sequel to the previous. Single character rather than party, but still a huge amount of meta game. Like the previous game, kind of short, but a great game."
"ARPG Intuitive gameplay (brief tutorial) Decent, if cartoony graphics Funny script Your choices affect you character development (which special moves you can learn). Choose skills from the following classes: Barbarian.Bard,Battlemage,Knight,Monk,Necromancer,Ninja,Paladin,Ranger,Rogue,Witch,Wizard
Boss battles, endless arenas. It's basically everything you want from an ARPG - plus no IAPS. There's also quite a large resource of info, guides and walkthroughs on the Battleheart Legacy Wiki. Some replay value, as some of the skill sets are mutually exclusive."
Infos : Free (cosmetic IAPs) - OFFLINE - Controller Supported
"Simple cartoonish isometric arpg. 3 classes, lots of build options, very fair monetization. Levels repeat quickly despite randomization. Still, a good game."
Infos : Free till floor 5 - OFFLINE - Controller Supported
Infos: Free - NEEDS INTERNET CONNECTION - Single Player Campaign - Co-op - PVP - and Other Modes - Controller Supported (In Game)
I mentioned it on my review: https://www.reddit.com/AndroidGaming/comments/5mstydid_you_played_ire_blood_memory_my_impressions/ For me,it is a surprisingly good and one of the fairest F2P games I've ever seen.
Infos: Paid - OFFLINE
Comment by flapingnapstich
A Zelda- like game with a sarcastic, self-referential sense of humor. For example, you have a winged fox advisor who is constantly drunk on health potions and won't let you have any because you're too young.
Infos : Free - OFFLINE - Controller Supported
Infos: FREE - OFFLINE
A fair and beautiful Diablo like Action RPG. Sadly it is based on stages,but the gameplay is good. This game uses only gesture controls,and really,it was well thought. You don't need to "click click click" and "tap tap tap" like other games in the genre. Just do the gestures to attack. Many treasures and cash can be found on the stages,but somehow this is discouraged by the fact that they are way too easy to be found. So you don't need to buy,sell,or trade items like in Diablo 2 for example. It is fair? Yes,no question about it ; but they are way too unbalanced.
HOWEVER I still recommend this if you like more calm gameplay.The graphics are awesome for the size (you can adjust zoom,texture quality,etc.) and the music provides a great atmosphere.
Infos : Paid - OFFLINE - Controller Supported (2 skills missing button mapping)
Infos : Free - OFFLINE - Controller Supported
Infos : Free - OFFLINE - Controller Supported (in game)
Side-scrolling Platformer RPGs
  • Lemegeton
Infos: Free (with minor ADS when you are connected) - OFFLINE - Controller Supported (in game)
  • Magic Rampage
Infos: Free (with minor ADS when you are connected) - OFFLINE - Controller Supported
  • Mines of Mars
Infos: FREE (I think it have Ads when playing with Network) - OFFLINE - Controller Supported
  • Reaper
Infos: FREE till you reach level 10 (after that you will have to PAY to unlock the full game) - OFFLINE - Single Player Campaign - Controller Supported
Good Sidescroller Action RPG,with interesting use of touch screens (with gesture based gameplay) and neon visuals (like every HEXAGE game). The difference here is that,even with simplified controls and limited space,you will have to be more tactical when approaching enemies. Basically,when your character stands still,it will attack the enemy automatically and accumulate a bar (represented by skulls).This attack is weak but... When you use the pound or upward attack,it will deal much more damage. This can be boring at times,but it's a nice concept that can be expanded on a sequel.
Also... There are multiple choices,wich give you more or less cash to buy equipements on the shop.
It's not a big and badass game,but it does it job very well.
  • Terraria
Infos : Free and Paid Version - OFFLINE - Controller Supported
"Crashlands as a platformer? 2D survival mode minecraft. Same pros and cons as above- my boys love it, it never quite grabbed me."
  • The Deer God
Infos: Free and Paid version - OFFLINE - Controller Supported
Action ROGUELIKES:
  • bitDungeon II
Infos : Paid - OFFLINE - Controller Supported
  • Heroes of Loot
Infos : Paid - OFFLINE - Controller Supported
  • Leap of Fate
Infos : Paid - OFFLINE
"This game doesn't even load, release was a giant buggy mess and then the dev went mia. Might be okay if it ran but I can't say."
  • Soul Knight
Infos : Free - OFFLINE - Controller Supported
  • Pocket Rogues
Infos : Free - OFFLINE - Controller Supported
  • Wazhack
Infos : Paid - OFFLINE - Controller Supported
  • Talllowmere
Infos : Paid - OFFLINE - Controller Supported
  • Tiny Keep
Infos : Paid - OFFLINE - Controller Supported
  • Wayward Souls
Infos : Paid - OFFLINE - Controller Supported
What other choice do I have? This game is great in every aspect. Patience and working around with the limitations give the combat system another surface,with characters that differ so much that you'll need to learn all again when you switch between them.Upgrades and power ups give you some more help,but will not be everything,because the enemies aren't "zombies".They offer unique challenges.
Dungeons are randomly generated,but the number of rooms to reach the bosses is the same for every section (Bronze,Silver,Gold,and Diamond).I will confess,I didn't understood the story.But this game have so great tracks and colorful visuals that I don't even bothered.Wayward have it problems too,like some cheap deaths and controls that can be annoying for some people (I don't know why they removed the Fixed Analogue Stick,presented in Mage Gauntlet).
But anyway,it is an awesome game,one of the best I've ever played on Mobile.
Retro
  • Anodyne
Infos: Paid - OFFLINE - Controller Supported
It's also a really odd game. I played through it on the PC but it was enjoyable at some times and not at others. Definitely a game you should watch some gameplay for before playing or buying it. Many might find the music to be a bit grating. The sound effects in the game are pretty harsh on the ears.
  • Fairune
Infos : Paid - OFFLINE
is actually a but like Zelda. It's totally free but has more of a focus on puzzle solving. But the art and gameplay are really inspired by older Zelda games.
  • Inotia 4
Infos : Free - OFFLINE - Controller Supported
"It is very similar to the original Secret of Mana games. If you want games that are almost exactly like Zelda then Ittle Dew, Anodyne and Oceanhorn are your best bets, they are more or less copies of Zelda."
  • Legend of the Skyfish
Infos : Paid - OFFLINE - Controller Supported
  • Oceanhorn
Infos : Free with IAP to unlock the FULL GAME - OFFLINE - Controller Supported
"I do recommend Oceanhorn btw in the non-tested part. Classic Zelda in every way, though it does have it's own unique charm as well, and doesn't feel like a ripoff despite basically being a Zelda clone."
"This is the closest you can get to an actual Zelda game on Android short of emulation. Amazing game took forever to get an Android port and was worth the wait."
  • Evoland
Infos : Paid - OFFLINE - Controller Supported
  • Mage Gauntlet
Infos : Paid - OFFLINE - DOESN'T work with Controller
Same as above,but more straightforward,and you control a mage that can cast magic. Although some elements are outdated (the game will be repetitive towards the end),this is a very nice addition if you want an Action RPG with more focused character than Wayward Souls. For me,it is the 2nd best Action RPG for this platform.
  • Titan Soul
Infos : Paid (NVIDIA SHIELD ONLY) - OFFLINE - Controller Supported
Open World and Others:
  • Assassins Creed Identity
Infos : Paid - OFFLINE - Controller Supported
  • Battleheart
Infos : Free - OFFLINE
"Real time, party based. Lots of meta game on terms of party composition and half and build options. Fairly short, but a great game."
  • Crashlands
"This is kind of an isometric exploration action rpg with crafting and base building elements. If you like Terraria, this will likely be up your alley, but a lot of people aren't as into the crafting aspect."
  • Exiled Kingdoms
Infos : Paid - OFFLINE - Controller NOT fully working in game, analogue stick only.
"I've been playing Exiled Kingdoms a lot lately. It's free to try, pay to unlock the full version game. No adds or additional IAP. It's currently in beta. According to what I gather from the dev on the forums the next release will be version 1.0, officially out of beta. It will include (better?) controller support, localization to a bunch of new languages, new content, etc.
It's currently not possible to complete some quests which can be slightly frustrating. That will be addressed in 1.0.
So far I'm really enjoying the game. It's fully open world, and offers a ton of content. I've put about 20 hours into it and have pretty much ignored the main quest line. It's very non-linear. The "normal" difficulty setting offers a real challenge. I had to roll three characters before I found a build that worked for me. The game definitely doesn't hold your hand the way so many RPGs do."
  • Horn
Infos : Paid - OFFLINE - Controller Supported
"Pretty solid game if you can get it to run. The Android port is buggy as hell and straight won't run on many devices. If it does, it's a solid 3D arpg with a good story and solid combat."
  • Jade Empire : Special Edition
Infos : Paid - OFFLINE - Controller Supported
  • Tainted Keep
Infos : Paid - OFFLINE - Controller Supported
  • The Dark Book
Infos : Paid - OFFLINE - NOT Controller Support
  • The Shadow Sun
Infos : Paid - OFFLINE - NO Controller Support
"The Shadow Sun is actually great, specially mapped to a controller with tincore."
  • Titan Quest
Infos : Paid - OFFLINE - NO Controller Support
"Compatible with both my Google Pixel and my Xiaomi Redmi Note 3 Pro, the game does need a higher-end phone to be really smooth (worked on my LG G4 nicely as well), but an absolute gem of an ARPG. The control system is classic [phone] dungeon crawler, you move an on-screen analog stick to manuver your character. The game feels quite nice on handheld and has easily enough content to hold you over for weeks. Note that though the base game exists on Android, the expansion (Immortal Throne) does not, so anyone used to the extra content it provides (caravan anyone..) might feel a bit barren. Overall, 8.5/10. Game runs good if you have a recent-ish phone, immense replay value, great port overall!"
Not tested yet or not tested enough
  • Bit Dungeon I
  • Iesabel - Performance is poor on my phone so I'm not playing it right now.
  • Isle of Bxnes - I played for some minutes and quit.Was attracted by the soundtrack though (you can check out on Youtube).
  • Pylon - I have played it for quite some time,but I don't remember exactly,so I can't seem to write a review.
  • The Bard's Tale
  • The Fable of Ruby
Implosion
Infos : Free to Play Trial (Full game is a single IAP) - OFFLINE - Controller Supported
"This is an actually fair arpg. Buy once, no additional iaps, solid gameplay, good story, great graphics. Robot with a sword fights zombie mutants. Good game, would recommend."
Extra :
MANY thanks to all people who are helping us to create this list. Give the credits to them. :)
submitted by GFOLDSCHOOL to AndroidGaming [link] [comments]

Why I do believe in scripting - from a marketing eye

EA Sports Scripting – It is in the game, and the reason is simple - marketing.
I know, only a few guys here in the sub work in the same sector as I do - a advertising company.
Let me just tell you how a common project works.
You have an idea - you´re gonna start the concept of the idea. You´re looking at your target group. FIFA is a game for everyone. The same way my little 11 year old brother plays it, my bigger 29 year old brother with wife and two children plays this game.
While in the concept, you create personas. Typical users from your target group. Stay with my family, you have my 11 year old brother. He is a casual player, playing Minecraft, FIFA and many other games. As he is 11 and going to school he´s not able to spent that much money on the game. Sometimes a few FIFA points when getting a XBOX Live Card for having good grades. Skill level on a range from 1-10, 5. Used to play between Division 2 and 3 with a decent BBVA team including Griezmann, James and Jackson. Saving up his coins for a "big player" like Neymar.
Than you have me, 26, playing FIFA over and over. Having a decent income I´m able to spend a shit tone of money in FIFA points. Skill level 7-8, 86 rated top squad including Ronaldo, SIF Bale and others.
And you have my older brother, 29, married, two children. Also a strong income, spare time player but with a really high skill level (current fut record 612-45-71), very good team with Ibra, IF Agüero, Yaya and others. Skill level 9 (yes, I admit it, he is better than me! Out of 10 games against him I´m sometimes able to win 4 out of 10, but overall he is better).
Keep those personas in mind, when thinking about the matchmaking and how you would make a game fair when you match up my 11 year old brother with my 29 year old brother.
So you say "You don´t have to match them against" - Well, believe me, sooner or later you have to match them up ...
Thinking about the "Scripting" with an eye on marketing it is just brilliant.
On the first side you have the problem with the Matchmaking. You can see the problem in PES. Searching for an opponent in the myclub modus while there are 250.000 players online at the same time takes ages.
Why?
Because PES has a very good matchmaking system:
Have you ever thought about how long it would take to find an opponent if the matchmaking would be better.
How often do we come up against opponents that aren´t even in the same league as we are. We can easily research while using sites like futscope or the EA database. I once wrote a thread about some guy texting me after the game (who beat me 1:0) "WOW, you have an awesome squad, how the hell do you play in division 6...." while I was playing in division 1. So I came up against someone from Division 6- Yes, great matchmaking system here
So another story, one of the funniest moments I´ve came up against, was one of those evening, with my friends sitting in my flat, everyone on his console and his tv, playing fut only, the whole weekend. So we had that one friend, just started fut, throw in some money to start over with a solid BBVA site. One of my friends and myself where chilling on the couch when two others were playing. One with the pretty solid BBVA squad, hanging around division 6, against Luca, pretty good player, won div 1 a few times. Both were searching for an opponent at the same time. Luca was aiming for the division 1 title, was the newbie (Carlo) was aiming to get promoted to Division 5. We had to laugh, they were matched up against each other. The new guy haven´t played any FIFA before, on a skill level I would say he was a 4, playing against a 8-9. We saw the moment and watched the better player, Luca. He was really focused, trying to play on his best. But his team just wasn´t performing. He lost to a newbie. Someone he bet in the same night over and over. I still have spot on my pearl white wall from his controller when he threw it against the wall...
That brings us to the matchmaking ...
So EA has two problems at the same time:
So now tell me, how can you make a game fun for everyone? Some for people that are bad at the game. Fun for bad players while facing better players with better teams?
Yes, you´ll find a way to equalize a match without fixing the matchmaking. People would wait too long to find an opponent, so they would stop to play the game.
Searching in an usual offline match ... you can find the exact sliders of the content people rage about in "scripting"
So wouldn´t it be more easy for the programmer to implement an algorithm that matches the ELOs of the two players and the team rating and than just adjusts the values of the "sliders" (that are already in the game).
It is a common feature for people playing career mod to grow faster.
When a Division 6 player with an overall record of 121-40-106 and a Team Rating of 81 faces an Division 1 player with 310-40-106 and a Team Rating of 86.
How could you make this game fair? Only by adjusting the sliders. You can clearly see the "error rate" when your player constantly run in each other.
So you are a big company like EA and, as said, you need to find a way to make sure everyone finds an opponent as fast as possible and everyone, no matter if you are skilled or bad at the game, to have fun at the game.
Would the game be fun for skilled players if they would win all the time? Look at all the Threads in the sub from people asking "Won Division 1, what now?" - If you achived the highest point in the game you will lose the fun.
Raging is a part of the game they keeps us to playing. You know that feel when you are on a bad streak, you´re losing and losing. But you don´t want to shut down your console, you play on until you win again. Because you know you are skilled and should win your games.
Now imagine the same scenario for people who are bad at the game and losing all their games. They would just stop to play the game.
People that stop to play the game don´t get a company the earnings they want. So they have to keep you playing.
So think about it. What would you do? Find an impossible solution to fix the matchmaking or would you just adjust the sliders a little bit to make a game equal?
It is just brilliant from a marketing eye. You´ve build a system that allows bad players to play against good players. You´be build a system that makes people think about "is my team good enough" to make them buy more packs. You´ve build a system that makes sure people can find an opponent very fast. And you´ve build a system that makes sure that everyone continues to play the game - More people playing, more earnings.
That is just brilliant - Just by adjusting a few sliders that ARE ALREADY IN THE GAME
Of course, this just assumptions, the same way saying "it is not in the game" is just assumptions
If you want to comment "Scripting is an excuse for bad players", please close this tab ...
Yes, a few very very very good players can overcome scripting or however you wanna call it. But why does even the best players like Gorilla, JukeZ, krasi, ovvy, dawnsson or dr. erhano believe in it? Why does the best players who are able to play anything on manual settings and can hit a pass over 70 yards manually admit that it is there? Answer this question ...
submitted by xtoonator to FIFA [link] [comments]

Crash Reports 101: Crash Course on Crash Reports

Note: I do not take credit for this, this was all made by Nerd_Boy. I only take credit for making it more readable since the formatting is broken. I have also updated a few things in the post, but it is incomplete, please tell me if something is wrong and I will fix it. Anyways, onto the post!
Crash Reports 101
Table of Contents:
Part 1:Introduction
Why does Minecraft crash? Minecraft didn't crash, it only blackscreened. What Do I do? The META-INF folder
Part 2: Getting a crash report
Minecraft output Crash txt files Command line McPatcher Bat script
Part 3: Reading the crash report
Crash report structure Header Stack Trace
Part 4: Common crashes
java.lang.NoClassDefFoundError: ... java.lang.NullPointerException Block ID conflict
Part 5: Posting Guidelines
Checklist Posting
Part 1: Introduction
This topic is not for you to post your crash reports. This is for you to understand and hopefully fix your crashes yourself. As a final options you should always post the crash to the mod responsible for the crash (the final section of the topic suggests what should be included). I will not be fixing your crashes Why are you doing this?
When playing minecraft, occasionally it will close unexpectedly and crash. The most common cause of this behaviour is due to mods (bugs in the game can also cause crashes). Many people will encounter a crash then instantly post on the last recent mod installed topic "This made my game crash". As a modder I cannot stress how annoying this behaviour is, especially when an answer can be obtained by this person by reading and understanding why it happened. Now I know that a great majority of people are not very technically minded, that's ok. It is for these people I have made this post for.
I will try and keep technical jargon at a minimum and explain any that is unavoidable. Hopefully this post may take the burden of some modders who get bogged down with crash report posts so they can get back to doing what they love, creating mods for the community. Furthermore I will try and keep things a bit more light hearted as well as providing random "Brotips"
Why does Minecraft crash? 
In my experience there are a couple of main reasons minecraft crashes Improper installation of a mod or API Incompatibilities between mods Some sort of bug in a mod Pre-existing bug in minecraft
There can be other "fringe" cases of crashes (eg faulty hardware or not enough RAM) but the above will cover 99% of crashes encountered.
Now I just want to say, please don't "blame" anyone for a crash. If it is due to an error in the modder coding (eg 2 or 3) cut them some slack. Most modders are not professional coders, they make mods for fun. If it is due to 1 (i.e. you made a mistake) just take a breath and re-read the installation instructions for both the mod and any APIs (as well as the rest of this guide).
Minecraft didn't crash, it only blackscreened. What Do I do? 
I want to start with the TL;DR version.
Sometimes rather than coming up with a nice little crash report, Minecraft will just show a black screen (Possibly flashing up "Saving Chunks" first). This is also a crash, and you should follow Part 2 of this guide. Crashes are generally caused by either exceptions or errors. These may or may not be caught by Minecraft's internal error logger. If the error logger does catch it, you will be displayed with the minecraft crash screen, if not just a black screen. There are ways to obtain the crash report as detailed in Part 2 below.
The META-INF folder 
I just want to digress a bit to discuss what the META-INF folder is. Essentially all you need to know is this needs to be deleted if you want to mod minecraft. If you don't really care why then feel free to move to the next section. If you are curious, read on.
A java jar file is just a zip file with an optional META-INF folder. Because jars are not just a collection of .class files and resources, extra information is sometimes required (or desired) by application developers. The META-INF folder is a place to store package and extension configuration data, including security, versioning, extension and services. In Minecraft the security is the reason it must be deleted. The META-INF contains a file called "MAJONG_C.SF". This file contains a little code for each file within the jar which can be used to check if any file has been modified or corrupted. Therefore this file must be deleted to prevent the security check if you want to edit any of the files within the jar.
Now this is a very basic description of the META-INF folder as I was trying to make it as easy to understand as possible. If you are still interested look up the.jar file documentation on the java website. ( http://docs.oracle.com/javase/1.4.2/docs/guide/jajar.html )
Part 2: Getting a Crash Report
Help! I don't know what to do 
Ok so you have identified that minecraft has crashed. How do we get the crash report?
Minecraft output 
If you are lucky a nice screen would have popped up with the crash report right in front, if this is the case move on to.
The output should look something like this http://www.img-share.net/uploads/47106minecraft_crash.png The part you need is in the white box.
If no crash is displayed on screen there are ways of obtaining the crash report, so use one of the methods detailed below.
Crash .txt files 
Both Modloader and Minecraft Forge try and output any crash reports into folders. This should be the 1st place to check. Now you do have to be carefully because occasionally I get people posting the contents of one of these files that doesn't actually contain the crash log (i.e. not helpful). Don't worry if this is the case, I will detail in Part 3 how to read the crash report meaning you will know if you have the wrong file. If this is the case, try another method described below.
Note: When I refer to directories in this section, everything is relative to the .minecraft directory. I will assume if you are installing mods you already know how to find it (It is dependent on your operating system)
BroTip: In windows the directory can be easily found by pressing the windows key + 'R' and typing "%AppData" (without the "'s) in the run dialog and pressing Enter. This should bring up an explorer window withe the .minecraft directory somewhere near the top.
Modloader: Modloader generally tries to output it's crash reports in a file called "Modloader.txt". The file should be located in the ".minecraft" directory. This will only be from the last run of minecraft (i.e overwritten on each run). This obviously will only be present if you have modloader installed (Minecraft Forge has a different way of reporting crashes).
BroTip: If posting from the Modloader.txt file make sure it actually contains a crash, I couldn't tell you how many times people post me the contents of their Modloader.txt file when there is no crash in there.
Minecraft Forge: There is a folder that Minecraft Forge creates devoted to crash logs. The folder is located in the .minecraft directory and is called "crash-reports". Each crash will display the date/time of the crash as well as the describing if the crash was in the client or server. Another thing that should be mentioned about this file is that it is set out differently to other crash logs. The Forge crash logs will have the stack trace at the top and the header information below it (they also contain a "witty" comment).
BroTip: Try to avoid opening the forge crash logs with notepad on windows. Notepad does not recognise the newline character used (because it is quite crappy). Try opening it with wordpad instead (right click, go to open with and selected wordpad or "other programs" and find it).
Command Line 
Now because you are hear I am going to assume you are not very technically minded, therefore using the command line may scare you a little. I want to start with, don't be scared, the command line is a very powerful tool. Of course there are more "user friendly" ways, but the command line is quick and does not require downloading on any extra files. Now these do depend on your operating system so only read the relevant one below
Windows: Open the command prompt by pressing windows key + 'R' and typing cmd in the run dialog (and press enter) Type "cd %AppData%" and press enter Type "cd .minecraft" and press enter Enter the following command java -Xms1G -Xmx1G -cp Minecraft.exe net.minecraft.LauncherFrame BroTip This can be pasted by right clicking on the command line window and pressing paste Login, start minecraft & re-create the crash. The crash should be displayed in the command line window. Highlight the crash report in the window, right click and press copy.
Note: for this to work you must have java as an environment variable. Read more here: http://docs.oracle.com/javase/tutorial/essential/environment/paths.html
OSX: Warning: I do not have an Mac computer so I have not tested this and do not know how user friendly the method is. These instructions are from the Minecraft wiki page Go to Macintosh HD/Applications/Utilities and open Console.app Run minecraft and when it crashes the java log will be added to the console, which you can then select and copy.
Linux: Open a terminal (on distributions such as Ubuntu/Linux Mint, this is done with Ctrl + Alt + T) Run java -Xms512m -Xmx1024m -jar minecraft.jar Watch the console output. You can select and copy it after making the game crash.
Note: Your current directory MUST be wherever the minecraft.jar file is. If you are using linux I am going to assume you know at least basic command line functions.
MC Patcher 
MC Patcher can be a great tool for obtaining crash reports (personally I don't like it for it's HD patching capabilities because i don't like it's methods but that's just me). Start by downloading mcpatcher from here: http://www.minecraftforum.net/topic/1496369-12w39b-132-125-etcupdate-930-mcpatcher-hd-fix-243-01/
This is what the default interface should look like.
http://i.imgur.com/Lz1rO.png
For this purpose I recommend unticking all boxes before proceeding and DO NOT hit patch. Hitting patch will make MCPatcher run through it's patching routine, problem is this has been known to interfere with the proper running of some mods including Minecraft Forge. Pressing "Test Minecraft" (Red Arrow) will launch minecraft in offline mode. Recreate the crash. The output will be displayed in the "log" tab (Red arrow in the picture below)
http://i.imgur.com/Lz1rO.png
Now the great thing about mcpatcher is that it actually tries to give you the deobscurificated class/method/field names in the crash report. This can be an unbelievable help to the author of the mod if you have found a new bug or incompatibility.
Bat script
Windows Only
I have also developed a bat script to assist in the gathering of crash logs. Unfortunately I found a bug in it. I will correct the bug and upload it at a later date.
Part 3: Reading the Crash Report Ok so you have successfully retrieved your crash report so now we blindly post it on the last mod's forum page right?
Wrong
Doing this could result in the modder (or others) politely telling you the problem, the modder not responding (they may be away or busy) or a very grumpy response (modder may have had a hard day and you are the 10th person posting the exact same report). In any case, most of the time by simply reading and understanding the error report you can solve the problem yourself much quicker and easier then posting and waiting for a response. Sometimes posting is unavoidable (maybe you found a new bug) but it really should be the last resort, not the first.
Now this section actually has a duel purpose, I am writing this both for users who receive crash reports to at least try and diagnose their problems but also for mod makes or just general good guys who are trying to help others with their crashes.
A crash report generally contains 2 main elements. Now these don't really have formal names, but I generally refer to them as either the header or the stack trace. Also depending how you got the crash log there may also be other information that has been output that was likely left over mod debugging code, this can generally be ignored (although may be useful for the mod author).
Please note in this section I may interchange the word error and exception. There are important differences between these but I don't think we really need to get bogged down by that right now.
Header
The header generally appears at the top of the crash report, it will generally contain things like your version of minecraft as well as the mods you have installed. Just a quick note on this, if you got your crash report from the forge "crash-reports" directory, the header will appear at the bottom and be set out slightly different. It will generally contain the same information just set out differently.
Here is an example of a header from someone who posted a crash report on my mod topic that uses Minecraft Forge.

Minecraft has crashed!

Minecraft has stopped running because it encountered a problem; Unexpected error This error has been saved to /Users/********/Library/Application Support/minecraft/crash-reports/crash-2012-09-24_10.39.53-client.txt for your convenience. Please include a copy of this file if you report this crash to anyone.
--- BEGIN ERROR REPORT e8848218 -------- Generated 9/24/12 10:39 AM
Now right away from this we can see that this user is using the 1.3.2 version of minecraft, has minecraft forge installed, is using Mac OS X (64 bit) is using java 1.6, has 2 mods other than Minecraft Forge/FML both of which were loaded successfully (in this case they are both 2 parts of the same mod). Furthermore because the author (me) is so awesome and put the version of minecraft required in the zip name, we can tell that he is using a mod that is designed for the minecraft version he is using. So far everything looks great.
Brotip: If you are super worried about privacy and do not want to post your username, remove that section of the crash report or start it out like I did above.
The Modloader styled headers are slightly different, However I do not have access to one on hand right now (I only mod with forge) but they also generally show similar information. Crashes may occur without either modloader or forge (jar mods only or bugs in the vanilla game), again these should show the minecraft version/java version/os etc but for obvious reasons will not show loaded mods.
Stack Trace
The stacktrace is the main technical part of the crash log.
Here is an example (in this case it is the other half of the header posted in the above section)
java.lang.NoClassDefFoundError: paulscode/sound/SoundSystem at ayq.a(SoundManager.java:235) at net.minecraft.client.Minecraft.a(Minecraft.java:1937) at net.minecraft.client.Minecraft.a(Minecraft.java:1885) at net.minecraft.client.Minecraft.a(Minecraft.java:1821) at apq.e(SourceFile:142) at apq.a(SourceFile:116) at apn.a(SourceFile:64) at apn.d(SourceFile:112) at apn.m(SourceFile:100) at net.minecraft.client.Minecraft.l(Minecraft.java:1482) at net.minecraft.client.Minecraft.J(Minecraft.java:834) at net.minecraft.client.Minecraft.run(Minecraft.java:764) at java.lang.Thread.run(Thread.java:680) Caused by: java.lang.ClassNotFoundException: paulscode.sound.SoundSystem at cpw.mods.fml.relauncher.RelaunchClassLoader.findClass(RelaunchClassLoader.java:125) at java.lang.ClassLoader.loadClass(ClassLoader.java:306) at java.lang.ClassLoader.loadClass(ClassLoader.java:247) ... 13 more Caused by: java.lang.NullPointerException at org.objectweb.asm.ClassReader.(Unknown Source) at cpw.mods.fml.common.asm.transformers.SideTransformer.transform(SideTransformer.java:27) at cpw.mods.fml.relauncher.RelaunchClassLoader.runTransformers(RelaunchClassLoader.java:167) at cpw.mods.fml.relauncher.RelaunchClassLoader.findClass(RelaunchClassLoader.java:118) ... 15 more --- END ERROR REPORT 99c3d4f5 ----------
Stack traces are always printed from most recent to the least recent step in the trace (kind of like your browser history is ordered from most recently visited sight to the site you viseted a long time ago). The first line will describe the type of error. Take note of this, it can help you diagnose most of the problems. In the example above this is java.lang.NoClassDefFoundError: paulscode/sound/SoundSystem
I will go into more detail about this error in the next section as it can be a common crash.
Brotip: When dealing with this remember "Google is your friend" googling the 1st part of the error "java.lang.NoClassDefFoundError" can help you diagnose the general cause quite easily. Going to the 4th result (which is the java documentation tells us that this means "Thrown if the Java Virtual Machine or a ClassLoader instance tries to load in the definition of a class (as part of a normal method call or as part of creating a new instance using the new expression) and no definition of the class could be found.". In other words something that minecraft or the mod thinks is there is not actually there. This could be improper installation or a corrupted file, but right away we know quite a bit about the error.
Under the error name is a whole heap of at (classname).(method).... These can also be quite important to modders as it gives us a way to backtrack through the error to hopefully find the root of it. Again the most recent is at the top and least recent is at the bottom. This can be handy for those even without a background in programing. Sometimes you can find the culprit quite easily by scanning through the trace. For example if you see "mine_and_blade" in any part section, it is a good chance that the Mine & Blade mod is likely the source (In one way or another) of the crash.
For those who have a bit of programing experience what the above trace tells us is that the method a in ayq class had an error, it was called by the a method in the Minecraft class which was called by the next one down and so forth.
Now when we see a "Caused by" that means what we have is a "Chained Exception". This is important because it is often the case that one of the fundamental exceptions underlying the last encountered exception is the real culprit that must be appropriately addressed. So in other words, these secondary exceptions may be just as important. I can not tell you when they are and when they are not because it really depends on the particular error report.
Part 4: Causes of Common Crashes So now we have the crash report and we have a very basic understanding of it, what now?
I thought I would start with a few common crashes that we might encounter. Again, if this can diagnose your problem we have saved you some time (you don't have to wait for a response) and we are allowing modders to continue modding rather than diagnose and solve Evey error.
java.lang.NoClassDefFoundError: ...
I wanted to start with the error I have been using in the examples above. Here is the full crash report
--- BEGIN ERROR REPORT e8848218 -------- Generated 9/24/12 10:39 AM
java.lang.NoClassDefFoundError: paulscode/sound/SoundSystem at ayq.a(SoundManager.java:235) at net.minecraft.client.Minecraft.a(Minecraft.java:1937) at net.minecraft.client.Minecraft.a(Minecraft.java:1885) at net.minecraft.client.Minecraft.a(Minecraft.java:1821) at apq.e(SourceFile:142) at apq.a(SourceFile:116) at apn.a(SourceFile:64) at apn.d(SourceFile:112) at apn.m(SourceFile:100) at net.minecraft.client.Minecraft.l(Minecraft.java:1482) at net.minecraft.client.Minecraft.J(Minecraft.java:834) at net.minecraft.client.Minecraft.run(Minecraft.java:764) at java.lang.Thread.run(Thread.java:680) Caused by: java.lang.ClassNotFoundException: paulscode.sound.SoundSystem at cpw.mods.fml.relauncher.RelaunchClassLoader.findClass(RelaunchClassLoader.java:125) at java.lang.ClassLoader.loadClass(ClassLoader.java:306) at java.lang.ClassLoader.loadClass(ClassLoader.java:247) ... 13 more Caused by: java.lang.NullPointerException at org.objectweb.asm.ClassReader.(Unknown Source) at cpw.mods.fml.common.asm.transformers.SideTransformer.transform(SideTransformer.java:27) at cpw.mods.fml.relauncher.RelaunchClassLoader.runTransformers(RelaunchClassLoader.java:167) at cpw.mods.fml.relauncher.RelaunchClassLoader.findClass(RelaunchClassLoader.java:118) ... 15 more --- END ERROR REPORT 99c3d4f5 ----------
A NoClassDefFoundError is thrown whenever a java program can't find a particular class that it thinks should be there. The class will be displayed after the ':' as well as the package/folder it is contained in. In the example above that means that the class that cannot be found is called SoundSystem and it is located in the paulscode/sound package.
There are 3 main reasons this can occur listed below
You have not installed a required dependency. This is probably the most common cause of this error. Most of the time you can guess the missed dependency by looking at the classname/package. One common one I have encountered is when people forget to install PlayerAPI. In this case the crash will display java.lang.NoClassDefFoundError: PlayerBase. Always go back and make sure you have installed all dependencies for a mod The next most common reason I have seen for this error is due to a corrupted file. This happens occasionally while downloading mods. Just try and re-download the mod or API and try again. The mod auther has not packaged a particular class file. This will generally mean that part of name/package will have something to do with the mod. Now this is more rare than the other 2 above because if a modder does make a mistake such as this they will generally address it quite quickly. Also remember that your 1st assumption should be a corrupt download (2 above) so try to re-download the mod 1st.
Now the error posted above was actually due to a corrupted download of Minecraft Forge. After the user re-downloaded Forge everything worked again.
java.lang.NullPointerException: ...
The dreaded null pointer exception. The most common cause of this doosy is due to modder error. It can also be caused by incompatible mods or knock on effects from other errors but generally its because of dodgy code. Null pointer exceptions occur when java tried to access an empty object. Because the object doesn't actually exist, java will have a cry and break down. Mostly this can't be fixed by anyone other than the author of the mod(s) in question.
The only recommendations I can say for this is to Try and work out the mod causing the error by looking at the stack trace. Make sure you don't have mods that are known to be incompatible installed Check the forum page to see if anyone else has already posted this error, if so there may already be a solution in the works and there is little point in re-posting the same error (maybe just a "I got the same error as x") but there is really no point in posting the exact same error log
Sorry I don't have an example right now, but these errors can be quite varied. If anyone really wants one I will find one later (or generate one myself) and post it.
Block ID conflict
This happens when you install a mod that is trying to use the same block ID as another mod. They can be identified by the first error being java.lang.IllegalArgumentException: Slot xxx, where xxx is a number.
Here is an example:
5 mods loaded Minecraft Forge 3.2.5.120 FML v2.2.17.117 Forge Mod Loader version 2.2.17.117 for Minecraft 1.2.5 mod_MinecraftForge : Initialized (minecraft.jar) mod_JammyFurniture : Initialized (1.2.5_Jammy_Furniture_Mod_Client_V3.6.zip) Mine & Blade: Battlegear - 2.7.7.1 : Pre-initialized ([1.2.5] Mine & Blade Battlegear - 2.7.7.1.zip) mod_UpdateManager : Pre-initialized ([1.2.5] Mine & Blade Battlegear - 2.7.7.1.zip) mod_Armor : Pre-initialized (ArmorStand.zip)

Minecraft has crashed!

Minecraft has stopped running because it encountered a problem.
--- BEGIN ERROR REPORT 96fc7838 -------- Generated 12/06/12 1:46 AM Minecraft: Minecraft 1.2.5 OS: Windows 7 (amd64) version 6.1 Java: 1.7.0_04, Oracle Corporation VM: Java HotSpot™ 64-Bit Server VM (mixed mode), Oracle Corporation LWJGL: 2.4.2 OpenGL: ATI Radeon HD 5570 version 4.2.11631 Compatibility Profile Context, ATI Technologies Inc. java.lang.IllegalArgumentException: Slot 211 is already occupied by [email protected] when adding [email protected] at pb.(Block.java:249) at pb.(Block.java:281) at agy.(BlockContainer.java:13) at mine_and_blade.heraldry.BlockBanner.(BlockBanner.java:29) at mine_and_blade.heraldry.BlockBanner_Forge.(BlockBanner_Forge.java:9) at mine_and_blade.heraldry.HeraldryForgeInitialiser.initlaliseBanner(HeraldryForgeInitialiser.java:16) at mod_MineAndBlade.load(mod_MineAndBlade.java:356) at cpw.mods.fml.common.modloader.ModLoaderModContainer.init(ModLoaderModContainer.java:319) at cpw.mods.fml.common.Loader.modInit(Loader.java:262) at cpw.mods.fml.common.Loader.initializeMods(Loader.java:591) at cpw.mods.fml.client.FMLClientHandler.onLoadComplete(FMLClientHandler.java:229) at net.minecraft.client.Minecraft.a(Minecraft.java:426) at net.minecraft.client.Minecraft.run(Minecraft.java:735) at java.lang.Thread.run(Unknown Source) --- END ERROR REPORT 4721735d ----------
These are generally easy to fix, most mods have some sort of config file (generally in the config directory of the .minecraft folder) that is generated the first time a mod is loaded. A mod can customise the block/item ids used in this file. So your best bet is to find the offending block id and change it in one of the mods and try again. You may have to try a number of times to find free block ids. Also minecraft does have a limited number of block IDs available for vanilla/modloader the limit is 255 (the 1st ~ 150 or so are taken up by normal blocks) while Forge has increased this to a bit over 4000. I believe vanilla will increase this to 4000 but I don't think it is currently implemented.
Just a note, conflicting Item ids will not cause a crash, but these can be identified by items randomly changing to another item on startup/crafting.
Brotip 1: A tool such as TMI can be used to help identify free block ids. The TMI side bar interface displays the block id used by whichever block you are overing over. Brotip 2: If you can help it, always change the block ID of the most recently installed mod. Blocks in your world will also change.
Part 5: Posting Guidelines So I have a crash report, done basic diagnostics and I am ready to post, how should I post it?
Checklist
I thought I would start with a basic checklist about posting crash reports.
Obtain the crash report Make sure it is actually a crash report (i.e. has a java stack trace) Do basic diagnostics yourself (read the thread) Make sure it is not one of the common crashes seen here Identify the mod causing the error Try the mod on a fresh jar with only the required APIs, this will help determine if the problem is caused by an incompatability. Read the Troubleshooting/FAQ section of the Mod page to make sure it is not a common problem that can be fixed Read the known bugs on the Mod page to make sure your are not-reposting a known bug Read the Incompatible mods section to make sure that you are not using incompatible mods Read the last page or two to make sure someone hasn't recently posted the same report (no point in reposting unless you have more information to add) Do a quick search on the forum topic using the most recent error (eg java.lang.NoClassDefFoundError: paulscode/sound/SoundSystem) as someone else may have already posted the same error a while ago and it has since been solved. Post your error using the guidelines below.
Always remember that posting the error should generally be your last resort. You will generally solve the problem quicker yourself as a modder is not always online to answer questions. You may not get a response for a few days and you can't blame the modder for this. It is therefore in your best interest to at least try and solve it yourself.
Posting Guidelines
Now before I start, if a modder has another way they like to describe an error report follow theirs. This is just a suggestion.
When posting an crash report having as much detail as possible is the key. If you write stuff that's not needed, who cares? But not having enough detail can be very annoying for those trying to help.
At minimum you want The crash report (the most important part) A detailed description of your problem (when did it crash, what were you doing in game etc). Again the more details the better, even if you don't think they are relevant. Better to be safe then missing an important detail. A list of mods APIs and patches used, sometimes this may not be needed as the might be displayed in the crash log, however sometimes not all are displayed. This includes APIs such as Minecraft Forge & PlayerAPI as well as patches like McPatcher or jarmods like Optifine. Generally the OS that you use is not needed, java is generally cross platform. Although some mods may not like some OS because of the way certain features are written. Use your best judgement on this (especially considering it may already be in the crash report). Any other mod specific information that might be required. This one really depends on the mod you are using and will mainly apply to very special cases\ Be Polite, as a modder I am much more likely to be more helpful to someone who has both been polite and actually tried to do a little homework (i.e stuff on this post) then to someone who as not. Your console logs, if available.
Brotip: Crash logs can be quite long. It is a good idea to go to a website like http://www.pastebin.com for the crashreport and https://www.gist.github.com for the log files.
If you do do this it might also be a good idea to also write what the crash was somewhere outside of the spoiler so it can be search for by other users easily.
An example post might look something like this
Hi ,
My minecraft crashed on startup with a java.lang.NoClassDefFoundError: paulscode/sound/SoundSystem.
I was using no other mods or APIs (other than those required by this mod) at the time. When I installed the APIs I used a fresh jar.
here is the crash report
--- BEGIN ERROR REPORT e8848218 -------- Generated 9/24/12 10:39 AM
  • Minecraft Version: 1.3.2
  • Operating System: Mac OS X (x86_64) version 10.7.4
  • Java Version: 1.6.0_33, Apple Inc.
  • Java VM Version: Java HotSpot™ 64-Bit Server VM (mixed mode), Apple Inc.
  • Memory: 496632856 bytes (473 MB) / 534708224 bytes (509 MB) up to 1065025536 bytes (1015 MB)
  • JVM Flags: 3 total; -Xbootclasspath/a:/System/Library/PrivateFrameworks/JavaApplicationLauncher.framework/Resources/LauncherSupport.jar -Xms512M -Xmx1024M
  • FML: FML v3.0.196.366 Minecraft Forge 4.1.1.251 4 mods loaded, 4 mods active FML [Forge Mod Loader] (coremods) Unloaded->Constructed->Pre-initialized->Initialized->Post-initialized->Available Forge [Minecraft Forge] (coremods) Unloaded->Constructed->Pre-initialized->Initialized->Post-initialized->Available MB_Core [Mine & Blade: Core] ([1.3.2] Mine & Blade - Core - Preview 1.zip) Unloaded->Constructed->Pre-initialized->Initialized->Post-initialized->Available MB_Armoury [Mine & Blade: Armoury] ([1.3.2] Mine & Blade - Armoury - Preview 1.zip) Unloaded->Constructed->Pre-initialized->Initialized->Post-initialized->Available
  • LWJGL: 2.4.2
  • OpenGL: ATI Radeon HD 4670 OpenGL Engine GL version 2.1 ATI-7.18.18, ATI Technologies Inc.
  • Is Modded: Definitely; 'forge,fml'
  • Type: Client
  • Texture Pack: Default
  • Profiler Position: N/A (disabled)
java.lang.NoClassDefFoundError: paulscode/sound/SoundSystem at ayq.a(SoundManager.java:235) at net.minecraft.client.Minecraft.a(Minecraft.java:1937) at net.minecraft.client.Minecraft.a(Minecraft.java:1885) at net.minecraft.client.Minecraft.a(Minecraft.java:1821) at apq.e(SourceFile:142) at apq.a(SourceFile:116) at apn.a(SourceFile:64) at apn.d(SourceFile:112) at apn.m(SourceFile:100) at net.minecraft.client.Minecraft.l(Minecraft.java:1482) at net.minecraft.client.Minecraft.J(Minecraft.java:834) at net.minecraft.client.Minecraft.run(Minecraft.java:764) at java.lang.Thread.run(Thread.java:680) Caused by: java.lang.ClassNotFoundException: paulscode.sound.SoundSystem at cpw.mods.fml.relauncher.RelaunchClassLoader.findClass(RelaunchClassLoader.java:125) at java.lang.ClassLoader.loadClass(ClassLoader.java:306) at java.lang.ClassLoader.loadClass(ClassLoader.java:247) ... 13 more Caused by: java.lang.NullPointerException at org.objectweb.asm.ClassReader.(Unknown Source) at cpw.mods.fml.common.asm.transformers.SideTransformer.transform(SideTransformer.java:27) at cpw.mods.fml.relauncher.RelaunchClassLoader.runTransformers(RelaunchClassLoader.java:167) at cpw.mods.fml.relauncher.RelaunchClassLoader.findClass(RelaunchClassLoader.java:118) ... 15 more --- END ERROR REPORT 99c3d4f5 ----------
The above is clear and concise and provides all required information.
Thank-you for reading this post. I hope this will help out anyone with crashes in the future. Also feel free to post links to this topic to anyone who requires it.
If you have any suggestions to add to it or to clean up anything please let me know.
submitted by lovemaxwell to FeedTheBeastCrashes [link] [comments]

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