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submitted by freispiele to u/freispiele [link] [comments]

[10 years too late Effort Post] Pinpointing exactly how hard David Stern and the league screwed the 2007 Suns in the WCSF. (x-post from /r/suns)

Original post on /suns
We all know the story. Horry hipchecks Nash. STAT and Diaw get up. Horry, STAT, Diaw get suspended. We lose.
Here's how we got fucking screwed.
(Shout out to perhizzle for the sources)

TL; DR: The rules are strict, except when they're not, conveniently. Stern's a baby back bitch. Read the damn post.

TD: I write in the book that there's no doubt I feel the Phoenix Suns were the best team in in the league in 2007. And that whole series was officiated poorly, and I give the reasons in the book as to why I feel it was officiated poorly. And one of the reasons is that Tommy Nunez was the supervisor of officials in that series. And he had a dislike for the (Suns) owner Robert Sarver, and he enjoyed the lifestyle in San Antonio, and liked to get back in the next round of the playoffs and continue to go to San Antonio. So it was a situation that he was steering the series to San Antonio in tape sessions.
People don't realize that at that time we weren't even betting any more because the guy who was involved in the scheme ended up going into rehab, so we were done betting at that time for about a month. So that was just a poorly officiated series from game one all the way until the last game.
But NBA executive vice president of basketball operations Stu Jackson told reporters in a conference call after announcing the suspensions that the league's longstanding policy of invoking its leave-the-bench rule without considering additional factors made the Suns' suspensions automatic.
"A precedent wasn't necessary here," Jackson said. "The rule with respect to leaving the bench area during an altercation is very clear."
"Historically, if you break it, you will get suspended, regardless of what the circumstances are."
Jackson added that Stoudemire and Diaw, in the league's estimation, were "about 20 to 25 feet away from their seats" and headed "towards the altercation" before Suns assistant coaches scrambled them back to the bench.
Jackson said the league would consider re-evaluating the policy for next season "if a change is warranted" but insisted that "right now that line is very clear."
"The rule is the rule," Jackson said.
"It's not a matter of fairness. It's a matter of correctness."
Here we see that the rules are black and white for an altercation. Simple. You step off the bench in the event of an altercation, you get suspended. Okay. Except, the Suns saw a way that they could not get screwed by this.
The Suns countered by saying that Duncan and Bruce Bowen were guilty of a similar leaving-the-bench offense in Game 4's first half when San Antonio's Francisco Elson fell on the Suns' James Jones after a dunk. That play was also reviewed, but Jackson -- while conceding that Duncan "should not have been on the playing court" -- said that the league determined there was "no cause for the suspension rule" to be applied because the Elson-Jones tangle was not deemed to be an altercation.
So the way to strongly shift the series in favor of the Spurs is to pin and decide which is an altercation and which isn't, and the Spurs get to do whatever they want.
That will likely only fuel Phoenix's series-long contention that the Spurs have been receiving favorable treatment from the league. Bowen was accused of intentionally kicking Stoudemire in Game 2 and intentionally kneeing Nash in the groin in Game 3. Apart from the foul on Nash being upgraded to a flagrant foul, Bowen went unpunished in both instances.
Yes it will, yes it will. I put this particular snippet here because I wanted to document exactly how many times the Spurs were getting away with unfair treatment.

Here's where things get really fucked up.

When David Stern examined the gambling habits of referees within the association after the Tim Donaghy scandal, he took massive leniency on their punishment despite the rules being clear.
While it's no crime for players, coaches, GMs or owners to hit the poker tables in the high-stakes VIP rooms of Las Vegas, refs are forbidden from frequenting casinos or engaging in any gambling, even if it's legal. The six refs' infractions in no way came close to resembling the crimes Donaghy committed, sources said.
"Nobody's getting suspended," said a source. "They were reprimanded and punished, but nobody lost their job."
The NBA was not specific about the infractions or the punishments.
So it's clear that the rules are black-and-white when it harms the Suns, but they are grey as fuck when it comes to dealing with your own men.
Think what you think about Tim Donaghy, about him being a criminal and trying to strike back at the league and creating lies to do that. Whatever you may think of him, the fact of the matter is, he's the only person with a voice who has ties to the inner workings of the NBA. He may be a criminal but I don't think he's lying at all because so much of what he says checks out (Referees controlling games with calls; Dick Bavetta controlling 2002 Lakers-Kings series in game 6, Scott Foster consistently calling superstar deciding calls).
Our owner, who while unpopular, had a few important thoughts about this whole ordeal (ESPN article):
Speaking specifically about the Horry-Nash incident, Suns owner Robert Sarver told reporters in Phoenix on Tuesday night: "The way this worked out for us, it was, I believe, extremely unfair. . . . The team that plays dirty should not be rewarded and the team that plays fair should not be penalized."
THE TEAM THAT PLAYS DIRTY SHOULD NOT BE REWARDED AND THE TEAM THAT PLAYS FAIR SHOULD NOT BE PENALIZED.
Finally, here we can confirm that David Stern was indeed a baby back bitch:
Sarver also said that NBA commissioner David Stern has canceled a schedule appearance in Phoenix for Wednesday night's Game 5.
Why would Stern cancel his appearance in Phoenix after a controversial ruling? Probably because he would have to face the fact that he was screwing an entire franchise and their fanbase over, and he wasn't man enough to look any of those heartbroken fans in the eyes.

TL; DR: The rules are strict, except when they're not, conveniently. Stern's a baby back bitch. Read the damn post.

One more thing. In Adam Silver's first two months as commissioner, he decided against suspending Paul George in a crucial game 7 against the Hawks in the 2014 Eastern Conference First Round playoffs.
The lack of a suspension will outrage many, after the 2007 fracas over Robert Horry's hip check of Suns guard Steve Nash resulted in suspensions for Amar'e Stoudemire and Boris Diaw for standing up casually and moseying towards the altercation without engaging.
So now George is clear for Game 7 and we have a better interpretation of the sprit of the rule. The rule is designed to punish players for leaving "the immediate vicinity of the bench" in the event of altercations. It's meant to prevent players from rushing off the bench to fight. George didn't do that, neither did Stoudemire or Diaw in 2007.
This isn't about changing the rule; it's about how it's interpreted in this instance.
So the question begs: Did Adam Silver's interpretation of the rule become more realistic, or was it just beneficial for an even game 7?
Going back to a Tim Donaghy interview, we can see that in the event of a game 7, nobody would have been suspended because it would have acted in the league's interests to have both teams at full strength:
TD: Certainly that was mishandled with the subjectivity of the league office as to whether to suspend somebody for doing what they did. Look at what happened with the Miami-Dallas game. Do you think they would have suspended all those players for a game 7? Had there been a game 7, with all those players leaving the bench area the way they did. The rule clearly states you can't leave the bench area to get involved in an altercation, whether the time out exists or not. In all reality, I doubt they would have suspended all of those players for a game 7. and I don't think it was handled properly with Phoenix in 2007.
submitted by rice_bledsoe to nba [link] [comments]

Opening up old wounds: pinpointing exactly how hard David Stern and the League fucked us in the 2007 Western Conference Semifinals

We all know the story. Horry hipchecks Nash. STAT and Diaw get up. Horry, STAT, Diaw get suspended. We lose.
Here's how we got fucking screwed.
(Shout out to perhizzle for the sources)

TL; DR: The rules are strict, except when they're not, conveniently. Stern's a baby back bitch. Read the damn post.

TD: I write in the book that there's no doubt I feel the Phoenix Suns were the best team in in the league in 2007. And that whole series was officiated poorly, and I give the reasons in the book as to why I feel it was officiated poorly. And one of the reasons is that Tommy Nunez was the supervisor of officials in that series. And he had a dislike for the (Suns) owner Robert Sarver, and he enjoyed the lifestyle in San Antonio, and liked to get back in the next round of the playoffs and continue to go to San Antonio. So it was a situation that he was steering the series to San Antonio in tape sessions.
People don't realize that at that time we weren't even betting any more because the guy who was involved in the scheme ended up going into rehab, so we were done betting at that time for about a month. So that was just a poorly officiated series from game one all the way until the last game.
But NBA executive vice president of basketball operations Stu Jackson told reporters in a conference call after announcing the suspensions that the league's longstanding policy of invoking its leave-the-bench rule without considering additional factors made the Suns' suspensions automatic.
"A precedent wasn't necessary here," Jackson said. "The rule with respect to leaving the bench area during an altercation is very clear."
"Historically, if you break it, you will get suspended, regardless of what the circumstances are."
Jackson added that Stoudemire and Diaw, in the league's estimation, were "about 20 to 25 feet away from their seats" and headed "towards the altercation" before Suns assistant coaches scrambled them back to the bench.
Jackson said the league would consider re-evaluating the policy for next season "if a change is warranted" but insisted that "right now that line is very clear."
"The rule is the rule," Jackson said.
"It's not a matter of fairness. It's a matter of correctness."
Here we see that the rules are black and white for an altercation. Simple. You step off the bench in the event of an altercation, you get suspended. Okay. Except, the Suns saw a way that they could not get screwed by this.
The Suns countered by saying that Duncan and Bruce Bowen were guilty of a similar leaving-the-bench offense in Game 4's first half when San Antonio's Francisco Elson fell on the Suns' James Jones after a dunk. That play was also reviewed, but Jackson -- while conceding that Duncan "should not have been on the playing court" -- said that the league determined there was "no cause for the suspension rule" to be applied because the Elson-Jones tangle was not deemed to be an altercation.
So the way to strongly shift the series in favor of the Spurs is to pin and decide which is an altercation and which isn't, and the Spurs get to do whatever they want.
That will likely only fuel Phoenix's series-long contention that the Spurs have been receiving favorable treatment from the league. Bowen was accused of intentionally kicking Stoudemire in Game 2 and intentionally kneeing Nash in the groin in Game 3. Apart from the foul on Nash being upgraded to a flagrant foul, Bowen went unpunished in both instances.
Yes it will, yes it will. I put this particular snippet here because I wanted to document exactly how many times the Spurs were getting away with unfair treatment.

Here's where things get really fucked up.

When David Stern examined the gambling habits of referees within the association after the Tim Donaghy scandal, he took massive leniency on their punishment despite the rules being clear.
While it's no crime for players, coaches, GMs or owners to hit the poker tables in the high-stakes VIP rooms of Las Vegas, refs are forbidden from frequenting casinos or engaging in any gambling, even if it's legal. The six refs' infractions in no way came close to resembling the crimes Donaghy committed, sources said.
"Nobody's getting suspended," said a source. "They were reprimanded and punished, but nobody lost their job."
The NBA was not specific about the infractions or the punishments.
So it's clear that the rules are black-and-white when it harms the Suns, but they are grey as fuck when it comes to dealing with your own men.
Think what you think about Tim Donaghy, about him being a criminal and trying to strike back at the league and creating lies to do that. Whatever you may think of him, the fact of the matter is, he's the only person with a voice who has ties to the inner workings of the NBA. He may be a criminal but I don't think he's lying at all because so much of what he says checks out (Referees controlling games with calls; Dick Bavetta controlling 2002 Lakers-Kings series in game 6, Scott Foster consistently calling superstar deciding calls).
Our owner, who while unpopular, had a few important thoughts about this whole ordeal (ESPN article):
Speaking specifically about the Horry-Nash incident, Suns owner Robert Sarver told reporters in Phoenix on Tuesday night: "The way this worked out for us, it was, I believe, extremely unfair. . . . The team that plays dirty should not be rewarded and the team that plays fair should not be penalized."
THE TEAM THAT PLAYS DIRTY SHOULD NOT BE REWARDED AND THE TEAM THAT PLAYS FAIR SHOULD NOT BE PENALIZED.
Finally, here we can confirm that David Stern was indeed a baby back bitch:
Sarver also said that NBA commissioner David Stern has canceled a schedule appearance in Phoenix for Wednesday night's Game 5.
Why would Stern cancel his appearance in Phoenix after a controversial ruling? Probably because he would have to face the fact that he was screwing an entire franchise and their fanbase over, and he wasn't man enough to look any of those heartbroken fans in the eyes.

TL; DR: The rules are strict, except when they're not, conveniently. Stern's a baby back bitch. Read the damn post.

One more thing. In Adam Silver's first two months as commissioner, he decided against suspending Paul George in a crucial game 7 against the Hawks in the 2014 Eastern Conference First Round playoffs.
The lack of a suspension will outrage many, after the 2007 fracas over Robert Horry's hip check of Suns guard Steve Nash resulted in suspensions for Amar'e Stoudemire and Boris Diaw for standing up casually and moseying towards the altercation without engaging.
So now George is clear for Game 7 and we have a better interpretation of the sprit of the rule. The rule is designed to punish players for leaving "the immediate vicinity of the bench" in the event of altercations. It's meant to prevent players from rushing off the bench to fight. George didn't do that, neither did Stoudemire or Diaw in 2007.
This isn't about changing the rule; it's about how it's interpreted in this instance.
So the question begs: Did Adam Silver's interpretation of the rule become more realistic, or was it just beneficial for an even game 7?
Going back to a Tim Donaghy interview, we can see that in the event of a game 7, nobody would have been suspended because it would have acted in the league's interests to have both teams at full strength:
TD: Certainly that was mishandled with the subjectivity of the league office as to whether to suspend somebody for doing what they did. Look at what happened with the Miami-Dallas game. Do you think they would have suspended all those players for a game 7? Had there been a game 7, with all those players leaving the bench area the way they did. The rule clearly states you can't leave the bench area to get involved in an altercation, whether the time out exists or not. In all reality, I doubt they would have suspended all of those players for a game 7. and I don't think it was handled properly with Phoenix in 2007.
submitted by rice_bledsoe to suns [link] [comments]

House Party 10/23/17 - Part One

Streaming LIVE! On WiR.com

We open the stream, as we see Russell Sharp in his office, just doing paperwork, before we hear a knock at the door.
Sharp: Come in!
We then see the door creak open, as we see two figures standing at it, Stephen Romero and Robert Warlock, Romero holding what seems to be laptop in his hands.
Romero: Sir, we’ve got something to show you, it’s something we think it’ll be important for you to see.
Romero and Warlock walk to the desk, as Romero opens the laptop. After we hear Romero type a bit, as he talks again.
Romero: It’s a short little video, it concerns the IPPV location, something I presume you thought you decided yeah? Back at Night One of AMUDOV? Well I think you’ll find how it was really decided interesting.
The three all crowd around and watch the laptop screen, as Romero clicks play, and we hear sound begin to come in, as we fade away to the arena. We see the feed of the jam-packed crowd in the Tynsboro Sports Center, as they are pumped for another WiR show! We see crowd signs that say things like “Dr. De La Sangre failed Medical School”, “Santiago’s Crippled, let’s laugh at him” and “Dutch=Golden State Warriors”.
Crowd: WiR! WiR! WiR!
Paisner: Hello fans, and welcome to HOUSE PARTY!
Woodbridge: We’ve got quite a show planned for you today inclu-
Roundtable Rival begins to play to a thunderous cheer from the crowd, as red mist begins to cover the entrance ramp, the four card suits projected by spotlights onto the ramp leading to the ring.
Woodbridge: Hey! I wasn’t done goddamnit! Turn that shit off!
The music continues to play, and the mist continues to fill up the venue.
Woodbridge: Ah fuck it, here’s our first match, folks.
Javier: From Las Vegas, Nevada, accompanied to the ring by Alexis Breathnach, standing 5’11, she would like to be announced as ‘The Queen of Sin City’, YASMIN HYYYYYYYLAND!!
The crowd roars as Yasmin steps out from the thick red mist in her black evening gown, Alexis Breathnach baseball sliding through Yasmin’s legs before springing up in front of her, pointing at her girlfriend and waving her hands, encouraging the crowd to cheer and chant louder.
Paisner: An enthusiastic entrance almost moreso than the actual competitor tonight from Alexis Breathnach.
Woodbridge: Doesn’t matter whether it’s to accompany someone else to the ring or to throwdown herself, Alexis just loves the rush of coming out here in front of a crowd and now that she’s got someone she loves by her side? Anyone would be bouncing around like she is.
Alexis stands to the side for Yasmin to step into the spotlight, grab the front of her dress and tear it in two to loud cheers, especially from the male members of the crowd, throwing it off to show her ring gear and beginning her graceful strut to the ring, all while Alexis bounces and side steps with her, continuing to hype up the crowd.
Javier: And her opponent, already in the ring, AKI MAN!!
Yasmin steps up to the ring apron and walks up the steel steps, sashaying along to the middle of the apron before, slowly, performing a splits on the apron, sliding under the bottom rope and blowing a kiss to Alexis.
Paisner: … I don’t think I’m allowed to commentate what I’m thinking right now…
Yasmin backs up to her corner, throwing a playful glare back as Alexis reaches through the ropes as if to grope her for a moment before pulling back and pretending not to have noticed.
Woodbridge:* Pretty sure Alexis is thinking the same anyway.
DING DING DING
Yasmin and AKI Man progress to the center, quickly locking up; AKI Man briefly overpowers Yasmin and throws her back toward her corner, flexing and posing in the center of the ring.
Paisner: AKI Man seems very confident here for somebody whose track record is rather less than ste-
Paisner’s commentary is cut off as Yasmin lets out a roar and charges from her corner, dropping AKI Man to the floor with a vicious Big Boot from out of the corner.
Paisner: -llar… well, there’s one lesson learned.
Woodbridge: Don’t turn your back in the middle of a match?
Paisner: Well that but also never piss off a redhead.
Yasmin throws AKI Man into the corner, rushing at him with a forearm only to be met by an elbow to the face, sending her staggering back. AKI Man straightens up and attempts to lock a headlock on Yasmin only to be met with a headbutt that connects with such impact that several audience members visibly gasp, though Yasmin seems unfazed even as AKI Man is thrown backwards into the corner.
Woodbridge: Yeowch, pretty sure even the people in the cheap seats felt that one. Tell you what Paisner, this girl might like her games but she obviously isn’t playing around here.
Paisner: You reached a bit for that one didn’t you?
Woodbridge: Made a career out of it.
Yasmin hauls AKI Man out of the corner and irish whips him towards the ropes, waiting on the rebound to catch AKI Man, seemingly effortlessly, into a brutally fast Alabama Slam to the mat, the collision making an impressively loud thud throughout the arena.
Woodbridge: Well, that could’ve gone better for him.
Paisner: Ya think?
Yasmin turns to the crowd, who give a loud cheer as Yasmin holds her arms out and twirls gracefully on the spot to the crowd’s, and Alexis’, enthusiastic approval. Once she’s done with that she grabs the ankles of AKI Man and begins to rotate, beginning a fairly speedy Giant Swing with the opponent.
Paisner: Please tell me I’m not the only one who thinks she’s just toying with him right now?
Yasmin releases AKI Man to send him skidding into the corner.
Woodbridge: Indeed, rookie or not, Yasmin is utterly dominant in her debut here.
Paisner: Crowd can’t get enough of this, and I know I can’t....
Woodbridge: Somehow I don’t think you’re talking about the match.
In the ring Yasmin stomps on AKI and holds him in the corner by her foot. She turns and blows another kiss to Alexis standing at ringside, who pretends to swoon at the sight; Yasmin and Alexis both laugh along with the crowd as Yasmin hauls AKI Man out of the corner and hooks his arm over her shoulder.
Paisner: I think Yasmin’s looking to end it early, ALWAYS BET ON RED!
Yasmin’s Small Package Driver is executed to perfection as she pins AKI Man after the devastating move is hit.
1
2
3
DING DING DING
Javier: Here is your winner at a time of 1:47: YASMIN HYLAND!
Paisner: Well you’d be hard pressed to call it an upset but I don’t think most of us expected this match to be quite that one sided.
Woodbridge: It seemed like Yasmin barely had to break a sweat, AKI Man couldn’t even lay a hand on her.
Paisner: No kidding Woody, I think Yasmin is definitely going to put some of that locker room on notice with that performance, she said it herself she wants the championships and if I was holding a title belt right now I’d be looking over my shoulder.
Alexis rolls into the ring and embraces Yasmin, the two of them sharing a long kiss in the ring to loud cheers, and some wolf whistling, from the audience. Once they split apart Alexis whispers something to Yasmin, who looks at Alexis with a concerned look but nods, giving her another quick kiss on the cheek before they separate; Yasmin rolls out of the ring to walk up the ramp, while Alexis instead climbs over the barricade and walks into the crowd, high fiving and fist bumping the occasional eager fan as she goes.
Paisner: Huh, lover’s spat maybe?
Woodbridge: I doubt it, although I do have to wonder exactly why Alexis isn’t going backstage, looks to me like she intends to linger in the crowd.
Paisner: Indeed, still, a hell of a singles debut for Yasmin Hyland and we’re just getting started here tonight on House Party! In fact we have more action coming up next!
AKI is pulled out the ring, and to the back, as the lights get dimmed for a moment, before coming back up, as we see Javier slide into the ring.
Babaganoush: The following contest is a singles match scheduled for one fall! Officiating is Ivan Itchicock!
Crowd: IVAN! IVAN! IVAN! IVAN!
Paisner: Two of WiR’s masters of the lariat about to clash - one of them a fun guy and the other deadly serious!
Woodbridge: Yes indeed - I’d love to hang out with Funkatron… Alex Perilmorde not so much.
“Party All the Time” hits and the multicolored disco lights fill the arena to loud cheers as Funkatron makes his entrance, turning his back toward the ring and moonwalking, even going for a couple of spins on his toe, but his heart isn’t in it as he stops dancing by the time he gets down to the ring and simply walks up to it and climbs in.
Crowd: FUNKY! FUNKY! FUNKY! FUNKY!
Babaganoush: Introducing first - from Planet Funk, weighing in at 185 pounds - FUNK!A!TRON!
Crowd: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Paisner: Funkatron’s entrance dance a bit less elaborate than it sometimes is, but he’s definitely going to want to conserve his energy for this man…
“Death to the Hypocrite” begins to play and the coded messages are displayed on the video screen as Alex Perilmorde emerges onto the ramp, ripping up rosary beads and running down to the ring when his entrance music hits the fast part.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! / PERILMORDE! PERILMORDE! PERILMORDE!
Babaganoush: And his opponent - from Pittsburgh, PA, weighing in at 213 pounds - ALEX! PERILMORDE!
Crowd: FUCK YOU ALEX! clap clap clapclapclap FUCK YOU ALEX! clap clap clapclapclap
Woodbridge: These people hope Funkatron takes this creep out, and I have to agree!
Paisner: But Funkatron will have to really be on his game up against Perilmorde - one mistake when you’re fighting him and it could all be over…
Ivan confirms readiness with both wrestlers, Perilmorde responding instantly and Funkatron a little delayed, then calls for the bell.
DING DING DING!
Funkatron and Perilmorde begin circling, and Perilmorde steps quickly in and behind Funkatron in an attempt to get him in a hammerlock, but His Funkiness shimmies out of reach, too quickly for Perilmorde to get any sort of hold on him. Funkatron spins around mid-dance move, trying to catch Perilmorde with a punch by surprise, but Perilmorde is ready, putting a forearm up to block it, and then tries to stop Funkatron’s movement with a wrist lock on the arm he punched with, but Funkatron just as quickly withdraws it, wiggling his fingers.
Crowd: laughter FUNKY! FUNKY! FUNKY!
Paisner: Perilmorde is probably right to try to close off Funkatron’s mobility here - but he just can’t, the dancing alien from Planet Funk just too limber.
Woodbridge: All those years Funkatron spent on the dance floor while Perilmorde was wasting his time learning martial arts and submission wrestling paid off!
Still perfectly calm, Perilmorde follows Funkatron closely, knees bent slightly and ready to spring a trap. He tries to get Funkatron’s left arm into a wristlock with his right hand, which Funkatron evades by pivoting… directly into a shoulder block to his chest as Perilmorde lunges at him, wrapping him up in a waistlock! Funkatron wriggles and punches Perilmorde in the upper arms repeatedly to get out, and the two seem ready to face down in a striking duel as Perilmorde puts his open hands up to prepare to chop, but something behind Perilmorde makes Funkatron give a start as he glances over his opponent’s shoulder and the funky dancer drops his hands and sharply turns his head to one side, looking for something unseen. Perilmorde sees his spot and quickly dodges behind Funkatron, putting him in a waistlock from behind and throwing him up and back, slamming him into the ground with a decisive bridging German suplex!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOO! / WHOAAAAAAAAA!
Ivan counts the pin, as Perilmorde has a high and steady bridge…
1!
2!
NO!
Funkatron kicks out desperately at 2!
Paisner: Funkatron surviving there, barely, as Perilmorde gets him in a beautiful German - although it looks like Funkatron’s head was elsewhere. If he had more presence of mind, he may have escaped entirely.
Funkatron has kipped up and the two circle once again, although quite a bit faster and more urgently; Funkatron tries to create distance with back- and side-steps but Perilmorde easily closes in, hitting Funkatron with a backhand chop to the chest and then, when Funkatron hesitates to either respond in kind or defend himself with raised arms to deflect more hits, follows up with a leopard fist to the same spot, then goes back to chopping the same area. He hits another leopard fist after another series of chops, followed by a European uppercut, but Funky still doesn’t go down, although he’s swaying.
Crowd: LET’S GO FUNKY LET’S GO! clap clap clapclapclap LET’S GO FUNKY LET’S GO! clap clap clapclapclap
Paisner: Into striking now - both men’s forte - and Funkatron is barely responding as Perilmorde wears away at a single spot with his chops and leopard fist blows, aiming to bruise and cause gradually increasing pain!
Woodbridge: Might not be so gradual now!
Seeing Funkatron not putting up a fight, Perilmorde frowns and shakes his head - he runs back to the ropes and then charges Funkatron again, hitting him in the area he has been striking with a clothesline! Funkatron is knocked back, but windmills his arms, does a bridging evasion, and smoothly rises back to his feet…
Crowd: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
...but falls suddenly and precipitously forward, landing hard when Perilmorde forearm clubs him in the back!
Crowd: AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW…
Paisner: Funkatron recovering wonderfully, but Perilmorde taking even that away!
Woodbridge: Aww, dammit, can’t he let us have anything fun?
As Funkatron is laying face-down, Perilmorde quickly stamps on his midback, bends down to grab one arm and one leg, pulls them up towards him, and exchanges the hands - stretching Funkatron sadistically with From Arctic! He looks disapprovingly down at Funkatron and scowls.
Perilmorde: Fight this, Funkatron! STRUGGLE AGAINST ME!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Paisner: Alex Perilmorde has caught Funkatron with his signature submission in the middle of the ring! There may not be many good escapes for From Arctic…
Desperately scrabbling at the ground with his hand and his leg, Funkatron flexes and tenses his back in an effort to get Perilmorde’s foot off, but to little avail, until he manages to twist the held wrist enough to loosen it and get both arms on the ground, and begins to perform the worm, the sheer force of the dance enough to allow him to power his leg out of Perilmorde’s grip and get out from under the hold!
Crowd: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Paisner: ...but leave it to Funkatron to find one! Good lord!
Funkatron kips up from the worm and, although he’s standing unsteadily, is instantly able to go on the attack, striking a surprised Perilmorde with a series of chops in rapid succession! Although Perilmorde is able to get his arms up, he can’t attack back under the sheer speed of Funkatron’s barrage, and Funkatron dances to one side of him and hits him in the back of the head with a brain chop, then electric-slides to the other side of him and dazes him with a bell clap to both his ears! He clasps his hands together, spins, and hits Perilmorde square in the center of the chest with a discus double axe handle, knocking him clear over!
Crowd: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! FUNKATRON! FUNKATRON! FUNKATRON! FUNKATRON! FUNKATRON!
Paisner: Funkatron at last rallying! A masterclass of old-school striking, putting Perilmorde on his back! Funkatron has to hit something big!
Funkatron hesitates as he glances to both sides of him again, bounces on his feet, and seems to tremble before turning away from Perilmorde, leaping into the air…
Crowd: WHOOOAAAAAAAA!
…and backflipping for a standing moonsault… which he misses as Perilmorde turns over slightly!
Paisner: Funkatron risks it, but he can’t connect! His form was amazing there but he just couldn’t get it…
Still laid on the ground, body smarting from Funkatron’s earlier strikes, Perilmorde now rolls towards Funkatron and slips his legs around the Funky One’s from the side, grabbing hold of Funkatron’s foot and torquing it for a grapevined ankle lock!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Woodbridge: Oh, God, and that’s the leg he stretched before!
Paisner: Correct, Mark, and Perilmorde taking glee in working it further!
Woodbridge: I don’t even want to think about that kind of pain…
Paisner: And now everybody at home watching is, Mark. White bear problem.
Woodbridge: Say what?
Paisner: Ironic process theory. Look it up.
Desperately, Funkatron uses his deceptively powerful upper body to drag the two of them near the ropes, reaches out, and touches the bottom rope with his long little fingers, which is enough for Ivan Itchicock to call for a rope break.
1!
2!
3!
4!
Perilmorde releases the hold and rolls off Funkatron at the last legal moment, dusting himself off and wincing as he gets up while Funkatron grips the ring ropes tight to pull himself to a standing position. As Perilmorde rushes at him again, however, Funkatron dodges to the side, hobbling but getting out of the way in time, causing Perilmorde to hit nothing but ropes, and then, out of instinct and impulse, superkicks Perilmorde in the back, sending him careening over the ropes!
Crowd: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Paisner: Funkatron showing an indomitable heart as he strikes Perilmorde with his hurting leg, the same one that was in an ankle lock moments ago!
As Funkatron turns his back to the ropes, grabbing his leg and crying out after aggravating his pain with the superkick, Perilmorde skins the cat and hangs onto the ropes, still with not quite enough energy to get back in the ring, but summons up the will to slip his legs over the second rope, grab onto it hard, lean back, and use the recoil of his ankles hitting the top rope to propel him back into the ring just as Funkatron turns back around! He smashes into Funkatron with his extended arm!
Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Woodbridge: AIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Paisner: A gigantic pendulum lariat from Perilmorde!
Funkatron stumbles back and screams in pain as he awkwardly lands multiple times on his hurting leg, but defiantly remains standing, although he doubles over in pain and has to force himself back up multiple times. Alex Perilmorde, however, gets back-to-back with him, hooks him under the armpits…
Woodbridge: Oh, God! I know what’s coming! I’m really scared, Big Al!
Paisner: Crucifix position, Perilmorde is going to set up…
Perilmorde raises a leg, then pushes it down and bends at the stomach and waist to roll forward and smoothly send Funkatron sliding off his back and onto the mat, completing his roll with his legs around Funkatron’s neck, and then deftly twisting both of their positions to get first a leg triangle choke and then an arm vise!
Paisner: Pentagram choke! HYPOCRITE’S CRUSADE!
Crowd: PLEASE DON’T TAP! PLEASE DON’T TAP! PLEASE DON’T TAP! / TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP!
Woodbridge: I can’t look!
As Funkatron’s air is quickly cut off, he knows he’s done for and taps emphatically when Ivan Itchicock checks for a submission!
DING DING DING!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Babaganoush: Here is your winner, by submission, at a time of 9 minutes 3 seconds… ALEX! PERILMORDE!
As “Death to the Hypocrite” plays again, Funkatron remains slumped in a heap on the ground, while Perilmorde gets up, his gaze still fixed on Funkatron. He steps over to his fallen opponent and squats next to him, regarding him and addressing him calmly.
Perilmorde: I’m disappointed, Funkatron. You didn’t give me the fight I was looking for. I must remind you to do better.
Suddenly Perilmorde starts laying into Funkatron’s head with leopard fist strikes, pushing the alien’s arms away as he tries to shield himself!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Paisner: What a grim scene! Perilmorde assaulting Funkatron for not living up to his potential!
As Ivan Itchicock pulls Perilmorde off Funkatron and angrily reprimands him, threatening to get security involved, Perilmorde calmly taps him on the shoulder, looks him levelly in the eye, and says, “He needs this,” then shoves Ivan out of the way and gets back to his violent work on Funkatron!
Woodbridge: Don’t look now, Big Al, but I think someone’s had enough of it!
Alexis Breathnach steps up to the barricade to the cheers of the crowd, slinging a leg over and carefully stepping over the barricade rather than simply jumping it, similarly running up the ring steps to step through the ropes instead of sliding under the bottom, her injuries clearly still affecting her.
Crowd: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! ALEXIS! ALEXIS! ALEXIS!
Woodbridge: Is this really the best idea after what happened to her last week?
Paisner: You saying she should sit back and let it happen?
Alexis snarls in anger and stomps up to Perilmorde, getting practically nose to nose with the black knight and backing him away from Funkatron. Perilmorde, meanwhile, is making no attempt to continue attacking the Funky one and just smiles widely at Alexis despite her aggression. He signals Javier to give him his mic and addresses his current antagonist.
Perilmorde: So. At last. You and I. The next step in your road to heroism. Welcome, Alexis. Welcome deeper into the night.
Alexis silently mimes for Javier to get her a mic too, never taking her eyes off of Perilmorde even as she holds her hand out to receive the mic.
Alexis: Cut the cryptic bullshit Perilmorde… you’ve been hounding me for weeks now and all you ever do is give this long winded question dodging whenever anyone tries to figure you out. Well, I got nothing but time, so out with it; what the hell is your problem?
Perilmorde: Strange. I thought with you, my dear, I’d been nothing but clear. I have no issue with you. In fact, I have nothing but admiration.
Alexis: You got a damn funny way of showing it, or is cracking someone’s head open on concrete a friendly greeting wherever the hell you crawled out of? You and Matthews haven’t got a spine between you.
Perilmorde: Matthews? You would compare me to - ah, I believe I see your mistake, dear Alexis. Matthews, in his craven weakness, attacked you from behind. You seem to think I aided him. Quite the opposite - it was I who stopped him. No, Matthews has now proven himself to be a pathetic fool, covering his inadequacy with limp and aimless violence, and the likes of Byrne and Maverick will punish him soon enough.
Alexis: Limp is one way I’d describe Matthews, I’ll give you that.
Alexis backs up as she talks, keeping her eyes on Perilmorde while kneeling down next to Funkatron to quickly check that he is okay.
Alexis: But you’re dodging it again Perilmorde; what the hell do you want with me? Did I screw you over on a bar tab or something? Why the hell are you so focused on taking me out?
Perilmorde: ...Out? Do you really think I want you gone from this organization? Do you think my purpose is to drive you away from WiR?
Alexis: See, that tends to be what it looks like when you stalk someone and every time I have anything to do with you ends up with me worse off than I started. Just a tip. So what is it you’re trying for if you don’t want me out of here, because I hate to tell you I’m taken if that’s your angle.
Perilmorde: You really have no idea how deep this goes, do you? I hope that doesn’t mean you’re truly small-minded, and that you just fail to see the big picture this once. Well, I suppose you are still uninitiated. Here is the thing, Alexis. I’m here as the herald of a new age. Sent by God on a holy mission. I’m here to make heroes, my sweet, and you will be the first and greatest of them - tempered by battle, trained under my severe and just hand, and, ultimately, felling the Archdemon - that’s me - you are going to lead WiR into a brighter day. One where human potential is entirely unleashed and every match is a merciless, sacred war - an era worthy of the epics!
Alexis: I swear to Christ if you call me my sweet one more time whatever Bible you’re reading out of is going right where the sun don’t shine…
Alexis paces back and forth in front of Perilmorde, eyes boring into him as she continues to talk.
Alexis: So that’s what this is then is it? You think you’re some rite of passage for people who want to become great big heroes and save the day and bring smiles to everyone? Hate to break it to you, but you’ve got the wrong girl nutcase; I ain’t no hero and I ain’t no warrior, I’m just Alexis, what you see is what you get.
Perilmorde: You have made several grave mistakes thus far, Alexis - in a way, that’s for the best. All the better for you to be corrected of them harshly. Learn. Grow stronger. Allow me to enumerate them for you. One, thinking you’re not worthy to be a hero. You are, and you will be no matter who else must be purged. Two, thinking you had a choice in this matter. Your role’s been predestined.
At this moment, Perilmorde’s calm or poise not breaking in the slightest, he lunges forward and knees her in the chest, and as she nearly falls over, catches her in a standing headscissors, putting her at his mercy!
Crowd: gasps/BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Perilmorde: Three… thinking you should provoke me before you were ready.
He releases the headscissors, and as she rises, spins around clockwise in a discus setup and smashes his elbow into the back of her head, flattening her and knocking her senseless.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! YOU SICK FUCK! YOU SICK FUCK! YOU SICK FUCK! YOU SICK FUCK!
Perilmorde: You cannot deny the night is here, Alexis! You have no choice but to journey through it with me at your side! AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
Woodbridge: HOLY FUCK!
Paisner: JESUS! JESUS JESUS JESUS! Alexis Breathnach may be unconscious from that rolling back elbow! Alex Perilmorde has brutally attacked two of WiR’s wrestlers in a row!
In the midst of all the havoc and the chorus of boos, Perilmorde serenely leaves the ring and walks to the back. We cut away from the ring, and see none other than ERIC MATTHEWS standing backstage, alongside WiR interviewer Chad Hammocks.
Hammocks: Hello WiR fans, please welcome my guest at this time, Eric Matthews.
The camera pans to Matthew’s smug, shit eating grin as the crowd voices their disapproval.
Crowd: BBBOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Hammocks: Matthews, Maverick has DEMANDED that you bring Rosco back to his ASAP, or else. What are your thoughts about this?
Matthews: Well…..to be quite honest, Chad, I regret stealing Rosco from Maverick.
Paisner:....what?.....
Matthews: It’s true, I made a dumb decision. I acted purely on rage, and didn’t stop to think how my actions would affect Maverick. I regret what I did last week, so hopefully I can make it better this week.
Hammocks: How do you plan on ‘making it better”?
Matthews: Well, I’ve actually brought Rosco back to the arena with me.
Crowd: YYYEEEAAAAHHHH!!!
Matthews: Maverick, if you’re watching this, he’s in a kennel in the locker room waiting for you. I know you haven’t arrived to the arena just yet, but he’s here, and he’s safe.
Hammocks: Well…..well I’ll be damned. That’s…..not at all what I was expected.
Matthews: I just…..I feel really bad about all this. I really do. Look, I’m gonna go warm up for my match later tonight, but when you see Maverick, tell him Rosco’s in the locker room.
Hammocks: Will do. Thank you for your time, Eric.
Paisner: I don’t know about this, Mark. Seems awfully fishy to me…..
Matthews walks off to prepare for his match, as the scene fades away. We fade away from the feed of the arena, as we then see Dalidus Nova and James Ivory are seen in their opposite cells in the Overbrook Asylum. The two sit on the cold, stone floor, talking quietly to one another as to not alert Julius, Juggernaut, or Doctor De La Sangre. The three, although not in sight, lurk around the asylum, making sure to keep tabs on their two prisoners.
James: Dammit, Dali, you've got to help me out of here.
Dalidus: I'm thinking James, I'm thinking... have you tried before? To escape?
James: I've tried twice, but both times they brought me back to this hellhole... to a room, one I'd never seen before. They strapped me into some chair, tied down my wrists and everything. They did everything... shocked me, sliced me, beat me. And then? they threw me right back into this god damn cell. I can't take it anymore... I just can't.
Nova ponders on James' desperation, trying to come up with something he can do to help. As Ivory looks at him pleadingly, he gets an idea.
Dalidus: Your watch.
He points to James' wrist, and we see that Ivory is wearing a now-smashed Watch. Ivory is quizzical, confused as to what Nova's trying to get at.
Dalidus: Slide me your watch, alright? I've got an idea, just... just trust me.
Ivory, glad to hear that Nova has a plan, willingly unstraps his Watch and slides it along the stone floor between the two cells. Nova takes it in his hand, and shakes it hard, causing the shares of glass to fall out from its frame. One particularly large chunk falls, and he grabs it off the floor, holding it between his thumb and index finger.
Dalidus: Alright, James: I need you to lay down, pretend you're asleep or something, alright? Even if something goes wrong, just stay asleep.
James obliges, crawling onto the rusty metal bench that has served as his bed for all these months. Dalidus takes the glass, and digs it deep into his head above his eyebrow, blood immediately gushing out from the gash. He throws the glass into a corner of the room, and turns towards the metal bars.
Dalidus: AAARGGHH!
Nova slams himself into the bars, creating an astonishingly loud noise that echoes throughout the corridor. Nova then falls to the cement floor, making sure that his bloody head is visible to those in the hallway. He closes his eyes and holds his breath.
Julius: What in the hells was that?
We hear door hinges squeak, as Julius Sacraw becomes visible on the other side of the bars.
Julius: Oh, Dammit!
Sacraw reaches to his necklace, and pulls it upwards, revealing a Key that was attached to it, hidden underneath his shirt. He quickly unlocks the cell door, and it creaks loudly as Sacraw enters the cell. He bends down carefully, keeping an eye on Dalidus. He extends one hand out to the pool of blood, touching the viscous pool to make sure it is legitimate. However, his arm is suddenly grabbed by Nova, and is pulled downwards, giving Dalidus the upper hand!
Julius: JUGGE -
But Nova covers Sacraw's mouth with his hand, stifling Julius' voice. He gets to his feet, his belly to the back of the much older, weaker Julius, and grabs him underneath his armpit with his free hand. Nova then slides out of the way, pulling Julius into the back wall hard, and he falls to the ground in pain as Nova releases him!
Dalidus: James, get up!
Nova runs out of his cell, and closes the door behind him. He takes the key out of the locking mechanism, securing Sacraw inside, before turning to Ivory. He unlocks James' cell, and as he exits, the two take off down the hallway, in the same direction Sacraw came from earlier.
Julius: Argh... Juggernaut! JUGGERNAUT!
James: Fuck, fuck! He'll be here any second!
The two rush through a doorway, and hurry down a damp staircase leading to the bottom floor of the building. Sure enough, standing at the bottom of the stairwell is none other than Juggernaut. Without a moment of hesitation, Dalidus rushes at him, tackling him into the wall.
Dalidus: James, run!
Immediately, James follows Nova's instructions, making a beeline for the entrance of the building. He is soon out of vision, but we are able to hear a door open and shut, leading us to assume that Ivory has made it out safely.
Juggernaut pushes Nova backwards to free himself, and swings a massive punch that connects across his jaw. Dalidus is staggered by the hook, but stays on his feet in resilience. Juggernaut tries to grab him, but Nova is able to parry to the left, narrowly avoiding Juggernaut's grasp.
Juggernaut: You can't leave! You will NEVER leave!
Again, he lunges at Dalidus. This time, however, Nova pulls up a knee and lunges himself, driving it straight into Juggernaut's abdomen. Keeled over, Nova wraps his hand in Juggernaut's hair, and yanks his head towards the metallic staircase, before pulling down and driving his skull right into them!
Nova looks towards the door of the asylum, seeing his opportunity to escape alongside James. But, as he looks, he sees a large shadow approaching the door from around the corner. Slowly, Doctor De La Sangre himself comes into view, blocking the door and staring down Nova.
Dalidus: Shit.
The Beast Of Cedar Grove charges at Dalidus, who slams the stairwell door and quickly starts to retreat back up the stairs, sprinting away from Sangre. He reaches the top of the stairs and looks down, as we see Sangre slam right through the steel door! He pays no attention to Juggernaut, who sits against the wall, delirious.
Dalidus continues to sprint away, shutting the door at the top of the staircase as well, in a futile attempt to slow Sangre down. Instead of going back down the hallway where his old cell was, he instead turns right, and goes into a completely dark corridor. He runs through the darkness as quietly as possible, before entering a room that appears to be empty. He listens for Sangre's footsteps, and luckily, hears them walking straight to the cells.
Dalidus: Thank god. At least James made it out.
Nova sinks down to the ground, trying to slow his breathing. The wound on his head has stopped bleeding, but he is still somewhat dizzy from the stress, blood loss, and adrenaline. He looks around him in the darkness, and sees a switch on the wall above him. He reaches up and flicks it, revealing his surroundings.
Blood stains cover the white, tiled floor. There is a counter-top to his left, with a sink that is turned on, but not producing any water. The counter is lined with different tubes, vials, and beakers, some of which are filled with various colored liquids. However, what catches his eye is in the center of the room. Here, there is a large chair, with both wrist and ankle straps attached. spots of the green material of the chair are visible, but the rest is a red, bloody mess. And worst of all: the blood is fresh, still trickling down the chair.
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Born and raised in Las Vegas, Steve Stevens is the #1 documented sports betting consultant on the business financial network. He began working as a professional sports handicapper in 2001, and is the founder of VIP Sports, a company that provides its clients with advice on who to bet on. Absolute blowout $100k weekend winner! Steve decided to share this clip of his real life behind the scenes in Las Vegas. VIP Sports Las Vegas is all business. Stop listening to the haters and fakers. Contact Steve Stevens at VIP Sports to win big in sports betting. … VIP Sports Las Vegas Review (Steve Stevens) This is an in-depth review of vip sports. As a former client of theirs I feel I should inform others considering their services of what these guys are Information on Las Vegas sportsbooks throughout the valley, compiled through questionnaire responses from operating companies and/or sportsbook directors, casino websites and reporter’s observation. Among Las Vegas gamblers, golf is considered one of the two fastest-growing sports to bet on (auto racing is the other). The most basic form of golf betting involves picking the winner of a tournament.

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