Predictive soccer betting model | Soccer betting article

Soccer Betting Guide

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How to build a soccer betting model

I started betting on the 1X2 markets long ago but I never had much success. Then in 2016 I decided to start playing with available data on the top European leagues. I am a Data Scientist and I was able to apply many of the techniques I use in my day to day job.
I built a model that predicts expected points of each team in the league and I learnt a lot along the way. I applied the model to my weekly bets, had some wins and some disappointments but above all I started to enjoy the betting experience much more and was able to analyze matches much much faster.
I realized that the strength of a model is that it summarizes teams strengths and highlights opportunities in the coming fixtures. It is not an end to itself and I believe the best recipe is to use a model as a support in the match analysis. This approach gives the best results in my experience.
In the last months when there was little opportunity for betting I decided to write down the detailed steps I went through to build my model, together with the working code examples. This naturally turned into a small book. I believe that by learning a little coding anybody can create a model that predicts expected points, expected goals, corners and more, in a short time. The possibilities and applications in the betting market are huge.
You can read here the first 3 chapters of the book for Free.
Hope you enjoy it and if you want to dig a bit more the full book is here.
Best of luck and happy betting!
submitted by tropianhs to SoccerBetting [link] [comments]

How to build a soccer betting model with Python (data included)

Hi,
I run a website that is primarily focused on making advanced stats available to bettors without programming/stats knowledge.
But we also make our API freely available and I have seen quite a few posts here (and elsewhere) asking for more information on using this kind of data.
Most tutorials seem to talk in vague terms about what you could/should do. We have a built a tutorial that takes you through every single step with the actual code: how to get the data from our website (and how to find data yourself), how to transform the data, how to build a prediction model, and how to turn that model into 1x2 probabilities.
We use Python but if you want to build your own model using Excel or anything else, we use CSV files at every stage so you can just extract the data into a CSV and do whatever yourself.
And to be clear, this is all completely free. Detailed stats (far beyond anyone else) on the EPL (we also have MLS/BUN) available for nothing.
Tutorial: https://xg.football/blog/building-a-soccer-betting-model-data-included
If you have any questions about the website or have a problem with the tutorial (or any questions about creating models), I am here to help :)
EDIT: created a gist for the code - https://gist.github.com/xgFootball/ffade0115709593b111d000c08a73629
submitted by xGfootball to sportsbook [link] [comments]

How to build a soccer betting model with Python (data included) (/r/SoccerBetting)

How to build a soccer betting model with Python (data included) (/SoccerBetting) submitted by ContentForager to mistyfront [link] [comments]

Soccer betting models

Hello everyone. I was wondering if any of you use data driven models for your soccer betting. I'm a mathematician by training and temperament and spend more time than I should trying to model various sports with varying degrees of success. But I just can't seem to get a handle on soccer.
My only real insight so far has been that home field advantage is a real thing, but not all officials affected equally by the home crowd. For example, among all officials who have refereed at least 50 games in the EPL since 2008, M. Halsey gave almost no advantage to the home team where M. Clattenburg gave about 0.7 goals.
I'm using data from football-data.co.uk for these calculations.
Is anyone else into data or just me? :)
EDIT: Typo on a ref's name. I'm sure he's been called worse, but I wanted to get it right.
submitted by Hawk_Irontusk to SoccerBetting [link] [comments]

Betting Models for NBA and/or soccer

what would you recommend is the easiest/most effective model for either soccer or basketball?
also do you guys know any threads/tutorials I could start reading up on for a betting model?
submitted by aydindagun to sportsbook [link] [comments]

AI for betting - testing out our soccer match prediction model

AI for betting - testing out our soccer match prediction model
Hey all,
We built some neural network models that intake match, team, and player data and produces probabilities for win, loss, and tie and oveunder for each match in La Liga, Premier League, Bundesliga, Ligue 1, and Serie A. We've been testing the model over the last few weeks and it performed pretty well this Sunday, mainly due to predicting Cagliari's win correctly. We made 20 $2 bets, and won 9 of the 19 so far, with an ROI of 52.2% and profit of $19.84.
If you'd like to see some of our predictions feel free to head over to our website. Sign up (for free) and click on any of the soccer matches in the "betting" section. Our predictions is named "Torneo Proprietary model" under the match info. Note that we're currently only displaying win/loss probabilities and that predictions for the coming week will be available on Wed/Thurs.
https://preview.redd.it/lm3klqaqypw31.png?width=390&format=png&auto=webp&s=a237d7b53958fab8428df893555974e00d61846f
submitted by torneoSB to sportsbetting [link] [comments]

My next Project: sports statistics!

Hi,
Warning: long post, there will be a TLDR at the bottom
I am a rookie trying to learn excel, and to do so I am creating a few personal projects and the using google/YouTube/reddit to help me get the result I want. I believe this is a better way of learning instead of just looking at random guides.
Since I have an interest in both a small sport called floorball and also statistics I have decided that my next project should include both of these!
Since this will probably be my biggest project so far in my excel career I thought I’d ask for some starting help regarding the layout.
What I want to be able to do is to write the matchups in the coming weekend and based on that see the probability of total goals in the game, total goals for each team and the probability for different winning margins.
I want these calculations to be based on multiple criteria: - each teams stats for the current season and previous seasons in total - each teams current form, 5 and 10 last games played - each teams stats for both home and away fixtures - the stats for the latest meetings between those 2 teams
I’ll of course have to decide how the different criteria should be weighted in the calculation but what I am asking for ideas about is the layout of the workbook.
I am currently thinking of having : - one sheet where all the game results are (maybe I can import them somehow from a website) - One sheet for each team with all their statistics and the statistics vs each opponent - one Main sheet where I use some sort of vlookup/index match to write the team names and get the probabilities.
Would you have done it differently? Where would you start? I would love to hear your opinions!
TLDR: going to start on my biggest excel project so far with a focus of sport statistics and looking for help/ideas with the design and layout of the workbook
Edit: thanks to everybody who has answered, way more people than I thought. I’ll try to read everything and reply later today!
submitted by celtracz to excel [link] [comments]

Soccer Daily Discussion - 5/23/20 (Saturday)

Soccer Betting Chat: https://discord.gg/q9HNmNT | /sportsbook Rules | Sportsbook List | /sportsbook chat | General Discussion/Questions Biweekly | Futures Monthly | Models and Statistics Monthly | Podcasts Monthly |
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Soccer Daily Discussion - 5/19/20 (Tuesday)

Soccer Betting Chat: https://discord.gg/q9HNmNT | /sportsbook Rules | Sportsbook List | /sportsbook chat | General Discussion/Questions Biweekly | Futures Monthly | Models and Statistics Monthly | Podcasts Monthly |
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Soccer Daily Discussion - 5/21/20 (Thursday)

Soccer Betting Chat: https://discord.gg/q9HNmNT | /sportsbook Rules | Sportsbook List | /sportsbook chat | General Discussion/Questions Biweekly | Futures Monthly | Models and Statistics Monthly | Podcasts Monthly |
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Soccer Daily Discussion - 5/22/20 (Friday)

Soccer Betting Chat: https://discord.gg/q9HNmNT | /sportsbook Rules | Sportsbook List | /sportsbook chat | General Discussion/Questions Biweekly | Futures Monthly | Models and Statistics Monthly | Podcasts Monthly |
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Kevin in the army

I'm not really sure where to start as there isn't one particular story, just years of wtf all strung together. I was in the army reserves and attached to a small HHQ (smaller office that oversees a structure of larger units) so even including the full time staff, our unit still only consisted of about 100 people max on drill weekends, but often less. After basic and AIT when I was officially attached to the unit, I heard stories about the in house Kevin before I even showed up to my first drill weekend. He had that much of a reputation.
A short breakdown of army rank which will be important later: E1-E3 are Private- Private First Class, and while it's possible to start your military career as an E3 in basic, most are E1. For promotion, it's mostly based off time in service. E1-E2 is generally earned when you have been in the army for 6-12 months, same for E2-E3 and you also have to be an E2 for 6 months. It's usually a total of 2 years in service and 6 months as an E3 to get E4-Specialist/Corporal. To get your first NCO rank E5-Sergeant there's similar time in service/grade requirements, but there's dedicated Non-commissioned officer training and testing before rank is granted. I won't go any higher as it isn't required for this story. Now there can be quite a few E4 either because they aren't ready to be an NCO yet, they can't pass the NCO training, or in this case, you are Kevin. One last important thing concerning rank though, most are expected to get promotions within certain time frames or you are barred from reenlistment or straight up kicked out... Like if you are in for 8 years as a reservist and still a private... Yeah...
Anyway, when I first met Kevin here was an E4... But had been in the service for almost 12 years. I thought this was impossible, but apparently it was for Kevin. Kevin was a cook... And inept at that as the other two regular cooks wouldn't let him do anything in the kitchen aside from make the coffee and do the dishes. Kevin was in his 40s, lived with his mother, and his mannerisms were typical stoner. Always off in left field, saying random off-the-wall stuff to nobody in particular, and just being a walking face palm. Never failed drug tests, and somehow made minimum requirements to stay enlisted. We aren't sure how, but the running theory is he was one of those guys that was experimented on by the government, and was fucked up so badly that they couldn't lock him out for whatever reason.
Sorry for the long intro, but here's all the Kevin moments I can remember:
  1. Our unit was across the street from a community soccer field. That road was where we ran our 2-mile for our PT test. Before the run, Kevin needed to relieve himself. So he did... Pulled it out, started peeing on the stop sign... During a little kids soccer game... FACING THE KIDS!
  2. Successfully SMOKED a #2 pencil while on smoke break one day.
  3. Attempted to crush and snort dandelions during lunch in the field.
  4. My buddy was one of the other cooks. During a family event, his wife walks in and Kevin, not knowing who she was, told my buddy "Hehe, she's hot, I'd do her." Then ran off to the bathroom... Like WTF.
  5. He once left his rifle leaning on a table next to him. It feel over. A BIG no no. Our unit commander was. RIGHT NEXT TO HIM. Immediately told to get down and start pushing/flutter kicks/just an overall smoking. Kevin decided to ARGUE with our COMMANDER that it wasn't his fault because he didn't cause it to fall. Can't remember what was said, but Kevin argued for at least 5 minutes. He was immediately demoted to E2
  6. During a range outing, we were qualifying on M249 SAWs (machine gun). We qualified on paper targets with sideways "L" shaped silhouettes. There barrel tends to travel right and up, hence the sideways "L" targets. You are only supposed to do 3-5 round bursts for control and accuracy, and also to not damage the barrel by running it to hot. Also, every few rounds are tracers, so they burn a few seconds after being fired. Kevin unloaded the ENTIRE 100 round drum... All at once... In the same spot. Set the brush on fire behind the targets and it took us about 40 minutes to put the fire out. He was not allowed to handle firearms after this.
  7. On the same range outing, he said really off the wall shit. Actual quotes: "Better scrape the rock off the road, it's going to be a cold winter." "I bet there's good hashish under this sidewalk." And "Dandelions make the best lube."
  8. During a 2 week field training exercise, was found at 3am in the latrine butt naked bouncing his junk off the edge of the sink.
  9. Next day in the same latrine after supper, found again butt naked with a mouthful of peanuts (no idea where the hell he got them). First person to find him, he shouted, "I'm a chipmunk," while spitting out the peanuts then running into a stall.
  10. During a regular drill weekend, our Master Sergeant walked in on him masterbating into a urinal... Not in a stall... In a urinal. Told Kevin to put it away, and I shit you not, Kevin's response was, "Heh let me finish.".... And he did. Demoted back to E1
  11. My buddy and Kevin were assigned a 2 week annual training running a field kitchen. One night my buddy went to the latrine to find Kevin, once again, butt naked. This time he was jumping up and down admiring the jiggliness of his man tits. He giggled and ran into a stall.
  12. And my personal favorite. Same field training, except they were actually in the field in the middle of nowhere. By brothers in arms should love this one. For those not familiar, there's several different styles of brush guards on the Humvees. Most unpin and hinge straight down so the hood can be opened as it's hinged on the front and lifts away from the cab. There are a few models where the brush guard can be locked parallel to the ground. Most brush guards just have a series of vertical bars across the front.
Early morning Kevin decides he needs to take a shit. He locks down the brush guard parallel to the ground and intended to use it as a toilet seat and shit between the vertical bars. Actually a genius idea for Kevin. Three problems though. First he didn't dig a cat hole, so not sure where he though this turds were going. Secondly, this was a more uncommon model that also had a type of wire mesh across the front of the brush guard... You know the one I'm talking about battles. And thirdly... It was a thick diarrhea explosion that caked onto the wire mesh like tile mortar and the brush guard was locked back upright. A couple hours later in the still dark morning, my buddy hops into the Hummer to start it and warm up (chilly night) only to be welcome with the aroma of hot streaming rancid shits through the heater fan pulled in by the engine fan. Kevin was almost murdered.
There's a bunch more stuff including Kevin showing up late to drill weekend drunk, having driven himself, and entering the building still drinking from the brown bag. After losing his license, he had to be driven to military functions by his mother. I only did my 6 years of active reserve followed by 2 years of IRR. Kevin was still attached to the unit when I left and somehow back to an E3. I did hear through the grapevine that they somehow managed to finally kick him out when his time in service was 19.5 years... You have to serve 20 to draw your pension.
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Soccer Daily Discussion - 5/20/20 (Wednesday)

Soccer Betting Chat: https://discord.gg/q9HNmNT | /sportsbook Rules | Sportsbook List | /sportsbook chat | General Discussion/Questions Biweekly | Futures Monthly | Models and Statistics Monthly | Podcasts Monthly |
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Soccer Daily Discussion - 5/18/20 (Monday)

Soccer Betting Chat: https://discord.gg/q9HNmNT | /sportsbook Rules | Sportsbook List | /sportsbook chat | General Discussion/Questions Biweekly | Futures Monthly | Models and Statistics Monthly | Podcasts Monthly |
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Soccer Daily Discussion - 5/17/20 (Sunday)

Soccer Betting Chat: https://discord.gg/q9HNmNT | /sportsbook Rules | Sportsbook List | /sportsbook chat | General Discussion/Questions Biweekly | Futures Monthly | Models and Statistics Monthly | Podcasts Monthly |
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[OC] What if every world cup team had the same population? - Group C

Hello again all, trying to distract myself from the fact that it’s already May, I’ve put my matching Friday pants and socks set on to bring you another edition of the alternative World Cup. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the premise of this series why not indulge yourself in the last two groups.
Group A, Group B
Whilst yesterday featured a group with sprinkles of quality throughout, I’m afraid to say this gathering is a little one-sided. One African team dwarfs three squads of an Asian persuasion, so with more utopian island spots than full time pro’s on display, I’ll try my utmost not to drift into a Thomas Cook holiday blog, no promises though.
Group C
West Africa
Togo, Ghana, Côte d'Ivoire, Liberia, Sierra Leone, Guinea, Guinnea Bissau, Senegal, The Gambia, Mauritania, Mali, Burkina Faso, Western Sahara, Algeria, Morrocco
Population (millions): 240.19
When it comes to brainchildren it’s strongly advised not to have favourites, but between you and me this is the funnest squad of the lot.
Similarly to Eastern Europe, West Africa has often been a hive of sporting talent restrained by the labyrinth of borders within its confines. George Weah, Emmanuel Adebayor, Yaya Toure, Didier Drogba and Abedi Pele are some notable stars of the past, but the conveyor belt of sporadic world-class attacking talent over the last 30 years appears to have crescendoed into a full blown production line of stars in every outfield position.
Something that my hypothesis can’t fairly simulate is what affect an open plan Africa would have on the decision making of some of our games Euro-Africano elite. N’Golo Kante is of Malean descent whilst fellow Parisian Paul Pogba boasts his Guinean parentage. It would be a safe bet to assume at least some juggling would take place with the region's newfound affluence, but until I am able to read the minds of millionaire athletes I’m not going to touch the subject with a barge pole, besides I think I’d go for the sort codes well before I look at their national preference.
What we DO have however is a terrific squad on paper that will continue to improve as the years continue, with 17 year old Barcelona wunderkind Ansu Fati hailing from Guinea-Bissau, as long as he doesn’t succumb to a Spanish inquisition.
Goalkeepers Birthplace FM20 Value Age
Edouard Mendy SEN Rennes GK Montivilliers, France 65 €4.40 28
Yassine Bounou MAR Sevilla GK Montreal, Canada 68 €10.00 29
Defenders
Faouzi Ghoulam ALG Napoli LB Saint-Priest, France 72 €17.10 29
Dakonam Djene TOG Getafe CB Dapaong 74 €26.80 28
Kalidou Koulibaly SEN Napoli CB Saint-Die, France 84 €64.30 28
Achraf Hakimi MAR B. Dortmund RWB Madrid, Spain 72 €23.30 21
Eric Bailly CIV Man United CB Bingerville 72 €31.40 26
Salif Sane SEN Schalke 04 CB Lormont, France 69 €9.00 29
Serge Aurier CIV Tottenham RB Ouragahio 70 €19.90 27
Kwadwo Asamoah GHA Inter Milan LWB Accra 74 €21.10 31
Midfielders
Riyad Mahrez ALG Man City RW Sarcelles, France 77 €62.00 29
Hakim Ziyech MAR Ajax CAM Dronten, Netherlands 79 €42.80 27
Thomas Partey GHA Atleti CDM Krobo Odumase 76 €33.40 26
Naby Keita GUI Liverpool CM Conakry 78 €52.20 25
Ismaila Sarr SEN Watford RW Saint-Louis 67 €22.20 22
Pepe CIV Arsenal RW Mantes-la-Jolie, France 76 €45.60 24
Idrissa Gana Gueye SEN PSG CDM Dakar 75 €28.80 30
Amine Harit MOR Schalke CAM Pontoise, France 69 €10.07 22
Forwards
Sadio Mane SEN Liverpool LF Sedhiou 90 €92.40 28
Wilfried Zaha CIV Crystal Palace CF Abidjan 77 €59.60 27
Moussa Marega MLI Porto ST Les Ulis, France 70 €16.80 29
Islam Slimani ALG Monaco ST Algiers 68 €19.80 31
Average/Totals 74 €712.90 27.13636364
A difficult pick but I’ve settled on a squad that could play in numerous formations, Sadio Mané and Riyad Mahrez are two of the Premier Leagues most potent wide players whilst the midfield is a superfluity of athleticism and technique.
The likes of Feghouli, Kessie and Gervinho didn’t survive the longlist but the competition was stiff. I’m not overly happy with the inclusion of goal starved Islam Slimani but the area is surprisingly scarce of talented out and out forwards.
If this team fails to collect all nine points in this group it would be the worst thing to happen to West Africa since Di Caprio’s accent in Blood Diamond.
South India & Arabian Sea
6 Indian provinces (Karnataka, Kerala, Tamil Nadu, Andhra Pradesh, Goa), Sri Lanka, Maldives
Population (millions):239.70
Another region that practises footballing atheism, this was one of the most difficult to research. But if any documentarians want to make this into a series then I’d be happy to take some time out to fly out and research the Maldives for a while.
The two island nations donate their services to an uninspiring mess of Indian nonentity. Including the world’s sixth highest scoring active player Ali Ashfaq, never heard of him? Nah me neither.
Goalkeepers Birthplace FM20 Value Age
Kamaljit Singh IND Hyderabad GK Goa 24 €0.02 24
Chathura Ekanayake SRI Eagles Malé GK Sri Lanka 22 €0.00 27
Defenders
Anas Edathodika IND ATK CB Kerala 33 €0.03 33
Adil Khan IND Hyderabad RB Goa 32 €0.02 31
Mandar Rao Dessal IND Mumbai City LB Goa 31 €0.02 28
Lenny Ridrigues IND Goa CDM Goa 24 €0.02 32
Mohamed Imtiyas SRI Renown CB Kotahena 25 €0.01 24
Akram Abdul Ghanee MDV Valencia (MDV) CB Maafaru 28 €0.01 33
Edwin Sydney IND Chennaiyin RWB Kerala 21 €0.01 27
Asikur Alawadeen SRI Pelicans CB Kurunegala 23 €0.01 26
Midfielders
Brandon Fernandes IND Goa CAM Goa 33 €0.03 25
Rowllin Borges IND Mumbai City CDM Goa 32 €0.02 27
Sahal Abdul Samad IND Kerala Blasters CM Kerala 34 €0.04 23
Michael Soosairaj IND ATK CM Tamil Nadu 32 €0.03 25
Nikhil Poojari IND Hyderabad CM Karnataka 29 €0.02 24
Ahmed Razeek SRI Berliner AK CDM Berlin 44 €0.06 26
Mohamed Umair MDV Maziya CM Malé 27 €0.01 20
Romeo Fernandes IND Odisha RM Goa 23 €0.02 27
Forwards
Ashique Kuruniyan IND Bengaluru CF Kerala 35 €0.04 22
Jobby Justin IND ATK ST Kerala 28 €0.02 26
CK Vineeth IND Jamshedpur ST Kerala 27 €0.02 31
Ali Ashfaq MDV Club Green Streets ST Malé 27 €0.01 34
Average/Totals 29 €0.47 27.04545455
Ali Ashfaq has officially netted 463 times in his now 19 year career. Haters will say most of that was in the Maldivian league but I think I’d only be able to score half that amount so fair play to him.
The most notable islander is German born Sri Lankan Ahmed Razeek, the Berliner came through the ranks at now-Bundesliga team Union Berlin, but finds himself playing fourth tier football at the time of writing. At 25, Razeek only dedicated his services to Golden Lion in 2019, a bit of European experience may help the nation who have commanded just four wins in the last five years.
India’s most promising contribution to the side is 22 year old Ashique Kuruniyan, the young forward lacks goals but is known as something of a playmaker, Kuruniyan to Ashfaq could be the new Ozil to Ronaldo, but realistically I think this team will be lucky to find the net at all if the ratings are anything to Goa on.
Oceania and Southeast Asia
Australia, American Samoa, Cook Islands, Fiji, Kiribati, New Caledonia, New Zealand, Niue, Papua New Guinea, Samoa, Solomon Islands, Tahiti, Tonga, Tuvalu, Vanuatu, Cambodia, Singapore, Phillipines, Malaysia, 11 Indonisian Provinces (Papua, West Papua, Maluku, North Maluku, Sulawesi Island, East Nusa Tenggara, West Nusa Tenggara)
Population: 231.57
I almost broke the comma button on my laptop writing out all those islands, and it still doesn’t quite reach 240m. The pacific islands are home to some of the worst national teams out there, none more infamous than American Samoa who hold the record for the biggest ever defeat in international football, a 31-0 loss to Australia. If anyone hasn’t seen the documentary that was inspired subsequently to the loss, ‘next goal wins’ is perhaps my favourite football film and couldn’t recommend it highly enough when trying to explain the humanity of playing football in this part of the world.
The antagonists of the Samoan’s defeat, Australia have since changed confederations from lack of challenge. Joining the Asian Football Confederation in early 2006, the Socceroo’s have since won the Asian Cup on home soil and qualified for each of the previous four iterations of the World Cup. In 2006 a ‘golden generation’ fronted by Harry Kewell and Tim Cahill narrow missed out on a quarter final berth being beaten by eventual champions Italy in the 95th minute thanks to a controversial penalty.
While the likes of Kewell, Cahill and Mark Schwarzer have long since retired, the Aussies produce a modest yet constant procession of pro’s. Along with fellow anglophone New Zealand, the select Oceanic islanders often choose a path of playing in England’s football pyramid, with a few Premier League stalwarts found within the squad below.
Southeast Asia has a curious footballing culture, a strong general interest in the European game with seemingly little rewards for their appropriation, no malaysians manage to sneak into the selection whilst the Phillipines’ most famous athlete behind Manny Pacquiao only makes back up keeper.
Goalkeepers Birthplace Football manager Value Age
Matthew Ryan AUS Brighton GK Plumpton 66 €15.80 28
Neil Etheridge PH Cardiff GK London, England 64 €11.00 30
Defenders
Winston Reid NZ West Ham CB Auckland 66 €14.50 31
Milos Degenek AUS Red Star CB Knin, Croatia 62 €1.30 26
Trent Sainsbury AUS Maccabi Haifa RB Thornlie 60 €0.88 28
Bailey Wright AUS Bristol City CB Melbourne 59 €3.30 27
Wesley Lautoa NCA Dijon CB Epernay, France 62 €2.20 32
Aziz Behich AUS Basaksehir LB Melbourne 60 €2.20 29
Brad Smith AUS Bournemouth LWB Penrith 63 €9.50 26
Stephan Schrock PHI Cares RB Schweinfurt, Germany 57 €0.77 33
Midfielders
Aaron Mooy AUS Brighton CM Sydney 70 €26.70 29
Tom Rogic AUS Celtic CAM Griffith 67 €11.90 27
Mathew Leckie AUS Hertha Berlin CM Melbourne 65 €4.80 29
Robbie Kruse AUS Mebourne Victory RM Brisbane 64 €1.30 31
Awer Mabil AUS Mitdtjylland RW Kakuma, Kenya 63 €1.50 24
Craig Goodwin AUS Al-Wehda LM Adelaide 58 €4.60 28
Ryan Thomas NZ PSV CDM Te Puke 65 €6.50 25
Massimo Luongo AUS Sheffield W CDM Sydney 62 €7.80 27
Forwards
Chris Wood NZ Burnley ST Auckland 67 €23.40 28
Adam Taggart AUS Suwon Bluewings ST Perth 62 €0.84 26
Aposrolos Giannou AUS AEK Larnaka ST Nousa, Greece 63 €1.30 30
Daniel Arzani AUS Celtic CF Khorramabad, Iran 60 €8.20 21
Average/Totals 63 €160.29 29.68181818
As you can see the team is dominated by Aussie and Kiwi men, but there is some polynesian persuasion in the way of Wesley Lautoa who takes restbite trying to defend the likes of Neymar, Mbappe and Depay by bullying semi-pro strikers playing for New Caledonia.
Daniel Arzani is the best bet for a future talisman, despite really struggling to make the grade in Europe he’s still only 21 and could yet fulfil his potential. The Celtic forward has impeccable technical ability and has an eye on one day becoming a regular at his parent club Man City.
Chris Wood has a Premier League goal record that any striker would be proud of and is the archetypal Sean Dyche forward, but I would suggest that his physical play style precedes his genuine international quality. New Zealand famously exited the 2010 World Cup as the only side to leave undefeated, and part of that was due to the defensive talents of Winston Reid, who at that time was a 21 year old padawan learner to Blackburn hero Ryan Nelson. Now 31, The former West Ham captain Reid leads this sides defensive line where he’ll do his best to make the younger lads do most of the legwork.
Neil Etheridge is unlucky not to be the standout number one in this team, the keeper come underwear model caught the eyes of English fans saving three penalties in the 2018-19 season, although when on loan to Bristol Rovers he caught a free-kick and stepped backwards into his own goal, don’t think we’ve forgotten Neil.
Western China
9 Chinese Provinces (Feng Jin, Gansu, Shaanxi, Sichaun, Tibet, Xinjiang Uygur, Ningxia, Qinghai)
Population (millions): 256.25
A little over the limit for this one but you wouldn’t notice from the squad. The west of China is the least densely populated region and the one with the least investment in the club game, so it is no surprise that there is correlation to the talent, or lack thereof.
Every metric I’ve used in research points to this being the Chinese team that will struggle the most, the bulk of the players hail from Sichuan, which since we’re on reddit may give most of you PTSD of Rick and Morty fans standing on McDonalds counters.
None of the following players featured in the most recent Chinese national squad. In a sporting wilderness that hasn’t been invited to the game of Monopoly out east, you can’t blame this side for underwhelming.
Goalkeepers Birthplace FM20 Value Age
Wang QI CHI Shaanxi Athletic GK Shaanxi 35 €0.60 27
Yerjet Yerzat CHI Chongqing Lifan GK Xinjiang Uygur 36 €0.72 27
Defenders
Yang Xiaotian CHI Jiangsu Suning LB Shaanxi 40 €1.40 30
Wang Erzhuo CHI Shaanxi Athletic CB Shaanxi 28 €0.24 33
Alishat CHI Xinjiang Sport Lottery CB Xinjiang 40 €0.43 25
Zhang Ao CHI Xinjiang Sport Lottery RB Shanxi 28 €0.37 29
Liu Yu CHI Shanghai Shenxin CB Sichuan 30 €0.44 25
Zhou Xuri CHI Dalian Yifang CB Sichuan 29 €0.30 21
Otkur Hesen CHI Sichaun Jiuniu LB Xinjiang 20 €0.00 27
Bari Mamatil CHI Qiangdao Huanghai RWB Xinjiang 39 €1.50 31
Midfielders
Peng Xinli CHI Shanghai Shenhua CM Shanxi 47 €2.60 29
Mirahmetjan Muzepper CHI Shanghai SIPG CAM Xinjiang 46 €3.30 29
Zhang Xiuwei CHI Guangzhou E CM Sichuan 46 €2.70 24
Luo Senwen CHI Hebei China Fortune CDM Sichuan 44 €2.10 27
Li Yuanyi CHI Shenzhen CM SIchuan 42 €1.30 26
Zhang Chiming CHI Tianjin RW SIchuan 38 €1.10 31
Shewket Yalqun CHI Guangzhou E LW Xinjiang 33 €0.94 27
Yehya CHI Xinjiang Tianshan CM Xinjiang 24 €0.24 32
Forwards
Yan Dinghao CHI Gondomar CF Sichuan 45 €2.40 22
Li Fang CHI Chongqing Lifan ST Sichuan 34 €1.30 27
Gan Yingbo CHI Sichaun Longfor CF Sichuan 24 €0.16 35
Abduhamit Abdugheni CHI Jiangsu Suning CF Shaanxi 35 €0.75 23
Average/Totals 36 €24.89 27.59090909
Finding a 22 was a real struggle and there is an imbalance of positions to show for it. The only true striker is Chongqing’s Li Fang, who is officially listed as a striker-come-right back which is an oddly specific duology of skills.
The squad is predominantly composed of players from the nations second tier CL1, which to enlight the general reader means they probably aren’t going to win the tournament.
Another day another group, tomorrow we finally see one of the long anticipated Western European megasquads, and play a game of spot the Uzbekistani. Thanks again for reading, let me know if you think I've missed anyone from the squads or made an error and try to have a stab at the starting XI’s for today's teams.
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Soccer Daily Discussion - 5/16/20 (Saturday)

Soccer Betting Chat: https://discord.gg/q9HNmNT | /sportsbook Rules | Sportsbook List | /sportsbook chat | General Discussion/Questions Biweekly | Futures Monthly | Models and Statistics Monthly | Podcasts Monthly |
submitted by sbpotdbot to sportsbook [link] [comments]

TIFU by getting half my dick caught in my zipper on a double-date with her parents and meeting my mom's friend at the doctor's office.

This fuckup didn't happen today, it was back in 1992. But there’s a lot of stories about medical professionals and their quiet acts of often invisible heroism in the news right now. I thought that this week, I would share one of my own stories about them. Because while they are absolutely heroes in our midst, some of those life-saving stories and incredible acts come with a laugh or two along the way.
These laughs, as they often do, come at my expense. It’s a price I gladly pay to give you a much needed moment to breathe in all of the hell we are enduring together throughout the world right now.
Enjoy, Chris
Yes, I know, I’m a complete fucking idiot. Let’s just get that out of the way from the start. My only defense was that I was a teenager in the 90's at the time, and my dick was doing most of the thinking for me. On the whole, I’m a reasonably intelligent guy. My dick however, is much like one of those morons you meet who is all balls, no brains. Despite the fact that thinking with my dick got me through highschool at the top of my class, it has proven itself repeatedly to have no memory, no conscience, and what I will simply classify as “questionable moral fiber”.
An obscure, late 20th century English philosopher known for his ballistic dentition once said “Dicks have drive and clarity of vision. They’re not clever.” and he was correct. But like most people who are all balls and no brains, that kind of decision making invariably leads to collecting good stories, and occasionally being scarred for life.
This is one of those good stories, and it’s about a scar.
I was sixteen, vacuously stupid, and the world as I knew it revolved entirely around my radiant affections for one hell of an awesome girl. She was short, beautiful, built like a soccer player, and had curves in all the right places. Miraculously, she was also my steady girlfriend. We had a magnificent system that involved a standing weekly date. This almost always consisted of exactly three things: dinner, a movie, and the furious, passionate, awkward sex that only inexperienced young lovers can have in the contorsionistic confines of an automobile.
Good times.
On the right day of the week you could catch a 2nd run movie at the Alpine Twin for just a couple bucks. Urban sprawl hadn’t reached far enough yet to consume all the best spots for privacy, and we knew every one of them. It was a great time to be young and in love.
God is not without a sense of humor, however, and one particular week fate would throw me a curve. A movie had just come out that her father wanted to see. In a tormentative moment of parental schadenfreude, they decided it would be a great idea to join us on our weekly movie night for a wholesome double date.
I was trapped. I couldn’t say no, her dad was a towering giant of brooding scowls who instilled the fear of God in me. He was an incredibly kind and funny man, but he commanded my respect and there was absolutely no doubt he held the fate of my love life at his whim. I was a nerdy, country kid from the wrong side of the tracks and he made it very clear that I was dating his daughter only so long as both her and him deemed that acceptable. She adored me, he tolerated me, and it was my lowly position to be grateful for the opportunity.
I was fine with that. I was spending every Saturday night with her sowing my wild oats, and going to church every Sunday with him praying for crop failure.
So we all met at her house, the whole family piled into their car, and off we went. We didn’t go to our comfortable, low-budget, second-run theatre out on the north end of town with the thin crowds that encouraged sitting towards the back well away from anyone who could see wandering hands and notice the whispers of young lovers. We went out to the fancy first-run theatre, the gigantic cineplex and shining star of the lower west side, Studio 28, where we would be packed side by side with strangers and held to much higher standards of socially acceptable behaviour.
Studio 28 was massive. Thousands of people filled its acres of parking lots and watched the latest movies on twenty different massive screens with reclining seats in air conditioned comfort. One movie cost more than what we would spend for a month's worth of dates at Alpine - including food. But her dad was funding the entire expedition and I was happy to just be with her.
My lovely girlfriend however, was a hormone-driven, devious genius, and happened upon a simple idea that changed my life forever. She noticed that they list not only the start times of the movies, but the duration as well.
It had never for a moment crossed my mind that we didn’t all have to go to the same movie. Studio 28 was so massive that not only did they have a ton of different movies playing, many of them shared the same start times. She found a completely different show to catch, sorted out the details with her dad, and off we went on our own. She had stared into the bleakness and brilliantly wrought forth for us the greatest commodity of young lovers who live with their parents: privacy.
For such a monumental day in my life, I don’t even remember what the movie was. But I do remember spending an hour and a half in the dark getting each other as worked up as we dared. The lines of socially acceptable behaviour were a lot tighter back then, but we were enjoying them to the best of our youthful ability.
Our movie got out, and we made the long walk to the back-forty of the parking lot hand in hand and hopped in the car. We had no concrete idea when her parents' movie would get out, so we were just hanging out, waiting, and of course sharing only the most chaste and pure of good Christian thoughts.
Just her, me, and our collective sexual tension that burned with the power of a supernova. It really was only a matter of time before it all reached criticality.
Because sitting in a glass bubble in the middle of a thousand cars is totally the best possible place to be doing such things. I was a little on edge, but that didn’t stop her. It certainly did, however, limit our options.
The good news was that I at least had a clear line of sight all the way up our row, and would easily see anyone approaching from the theatre. I kept a watchful lookout, and she decided to take action.
In a matter of a few seconds, she was sucking my dick like it was filled with her father’s acceptance. Not a moment later, I saw the crowd of people start pouring out of the theatre doors. It didn’t take me long to spot her parents, hand in hand. Her dad’s bright blue shirt stuck out in the crowd, even though they were still a quarter-mile away.
And then, at that exact moment, is when I fucked up.
That’s when I did one of the dumbest things in my entire life; I made a split-second trivial decision that would leave me scarred forever.
Now, what I could have done is simply reach down, gently pull her head out of my lap, and have a mildly disappointing end to some fun, gone on with my day, and been just fine. Hell, given how far away they were, the hair-trigger of a teenage boy, and her skillful abilities we could have likely finished without pushing our luck.
The problem with wisdom is that you don’t get it until five seconds after you need it.
What I did, in a moment of youthful stupidity, was say “Your dad’s coming!” and sit up straight in my seat.
And that, my dear reader, is the exact moment that shit got real.
Please understand that what I’m about to describe is much like a car crash. It will take me far longer to describe it than it took to actually happen. All of this transpired in just a moment, but that moment is burned into my brain forever. I apologise now, that it shall be burned into yours. When you share this story with your friends, you’ll know they got to this part when you see them adjust themselves in their seat. No man is immune to this effect.
In one smooth powerful movement driven by pure reflex and fear, without a moment’s conscious thought, she snapped her head up, bolted upright in her seat, and while making that transition from laying on me to sitting next to me she stuffed my dick back into my jeans and ran that fuckin zipper all the way home with the power of an angry linebacker.
The problem is I had never unbuttoned my pants, and it was a lot smaller when it came out ten minutes ago than it was when she decided to cram it back in through, what was now, much too short of a hole. She fought it in there in half a second, it just wasn’t situated as well as it needed to be.
Then, with the delicate touch of a bricklayer she had yanked that zipper though several inches of my most delicate sensitivities and made me one with my Levi’s.
It happened in the blink of an eye.
I was absolutely convinced I was going to die.
The pain was far worse than what you imagine right now. It was radiant and consuming. She had caught roughly…very roughly...the entire front of the most sensitive skin I own and interlaced it down nearly the full length of the zipper. I could glimpse a thin line poking out the front, and there was nothing I could do about it but sit there with tears running down my face and her parents approaching.
She immediately knew what had happened, subtlety is not a skill I possess even on my best days. I think it may be when I levitated, shooting to the ceiling, howling in pain that she got her first hint that something was wrong. She was mortified, I was in agony, and the shitshow had just begun. I untucked my shirt to cover the obvious injury, and wiped my tears.
It was hard travel across the great prairies of the parking lot. I heard they lost five good men, and at one point had to start eating the horses to survive. But eventually, months later, her parents finally made it to the car.
The first battle was the parking lot. Several hundred people had all gotten out when we did and had to find their way to the exit. It took half an hour of stop and start agony while we all shuffled into place and trickled out onto 28th street - a bustling busy main thoroughfare of the lower-west side.
And the fun was just beginning.
Florida makes oranges, Idaho makes Potatoes, and Hollywood makes movies. But Michigan, we make potholes. Northbound 131 is a washboard of suspension testing craters that can knock your teeth loose. Because of the complicated interaction of freeze-thaw cycles, capillary action of water retention in asphalt, and the fact that we run snow plows for a third of the year there is a regular pattern of patched sections on the highway spaced at predictable intervals for miles on end.
And I felt every one of those sonsabitches as we launched and bounded from pock to pock, all along my dick.
It took about thirty minutes to get from Studio28 to their house. That was the longest half hour of my life. I felt every bump in the road in between my own heartbeats as I throbbed in agony sitting awkwardly in the back seat. The only saving grace was that her and her mom were making small talk about the movies they had each seen and my opinion didn’t matter. I sat there sniffling and rubbing my swollen, red eyes. When her mom asked me if I was okay I uttered the only word I could manage on the entire ride home.
“Allergies”.
We made it to her parent’s house, said our goodbyes, and she walked me across the street to my car. It took more work to get into my mom’s old boxy beige Pontiac Grand Prix than it did to get out of her parent’s SUV, but I made it, tenderly.
Mission two accomplished, her parents had no idea. So that crisis was averted.
Now, I had to choose. I was on the edge of The City. If I went East, I could fight my way through traffic to the giant gleaming state-of-the-art hospital located right downtown and wait in line in the emergency room. If I went West, I was heading towards home and in my own small country town was a little Med Center staffed with only a handful of people whose main job was helping people with minor bumps and bruises, and keeping the critical patients alive long enough for the ambulance to get there and haul them off to one of the much larger neighboring cities.
I headed towards home. It was farther, but faster. I hopped on I-96 and blasted into the night more scared of hitting a deer than being pulled over for speeding. I figured if any cop pulled me over, all I had to do was show him my situation and there wasn’t a man in the world who would fault me for being in a hurry. I had a much higher chance of getting a police escort to the Med Center than getting a ticket, so off I went as fast as Mom’s old Pontiac would carry me.
I arrived without incident and walked gingerly through the front door. I’d never been to the Med Center before. My parents were on the rescue squad of the local volunteer fire department so anything short of a sucking chest wound in my house was dealt with by someone running for the jump-bag in Dad’s truck. Any sort of injury was handled on only the best of equipment: the kitchen table.
Life’s different in a small town.
That’s why I wasn’t even slightly surprised when I walked in the front door and the triage nurse at the front counter stopped typing, looked me straight in the eye with genuine concern on her face and said “Chris, are you ok?”.
It was my mom’s friend. Not only did this woman know me, she’d known me since I had training wheels on my bike. I knew she was a Nurse. Half the women in my world were Nurses, my mom was a Nurse. She worked at a nursing home filled with other Nurses. How the hell was I supposed to remember that one of her best friends just so happened to work at the Med Center.
I should have gone East.
“No Ma’am” I said, and quickly added, wincing, “please don’t tell my Mom”
“What happened, show me what you did”
Now, I grew up around trauma and emergency medicine. Back then they were dispatched with one-way pagers the size of a brick that looked like walkie-talkies. There was only one channel for the whole county, and every department had its own unique series of musical tones that told us who the message was for. It squawked and whistled all day and night and you never even noticed it.
But when the BEEDEEBEEDEEBEEDEEBEEDEE-DOOOOOOOOO-----DEEEEEEEEEEEE sound that designated our unit came over that radio, it would take you out of a dead sleep before they got to the “COOPERSVILLE UNIT TWO-OH-FIVE” part of the message and Mom, Dad, or sometimes both, were headed out the door on a dead run before it stopped talking.
If this happens while you’re out somewhere with Dad in the truck, you’re along for the ride. It was somewhere around age twelve when “stay in the truck” just didn’t work for me anymore. I’d learned where babies came from by watching a screaming Asian woman have one on the tailgate of a Subaru in the McDonald’s parking lot. I’d seen bodies mangled and I knew first hand why they called the people who ride crotch-rocket motorcycles “Organ Donors”. I’d learned the smartest and most heroic humans alive fly in AeroMed, and I knew that rescue crews have no problem working up to their elbows in your blood and then going out for pizza half an hour later. It’s just meat.
I was also well aware that the strongest, hardest, most stoic, most unimaginably un-fucking-fazed woman you’ll ever meet, is a Triage Nurse.
So I lifted up my shirt.
And, for just a moment, I saw her humanity crack through her professional stoicism.
I pray that you go your entire life and never once hear a Triage Nurse say “Oh Dear” when she looks at whatever injury you have. It’s up there with getting a prostate exam and hearing the Doctor behind you say “Aw, fuck!”. You don’t want any part of this situation.
There was no paperwork, and my ass never touched one of the beige plastic chairs in the tiny waiting room. She stood up and walked me through the door behind the counter and ten seconds later I was sitting on the crinkly butcher paper of an examination table with my legs dangling over the edge.
A Nurse who was only ten minutes older than I was came in just a moment behind me. Thankfully, I didn’t know her at least, but I’d have liked to under different circumstances. She held a BP cuff in one hand and a clipboard in the other and asked me how I was feeling and if I had any allergies. We chatted for perhaps a whole minute before she asked me what was wrong.
I lifted my shirt.
She took it well, just a tiny gasp before she got her shields back in place. But her blush betrayed her. She held tight to her professionalism and assured me that the Doctor would be right in as she stumbled gracefully backwards out of the room. However, I did notice that she never did get my BP, temp, or anything else.
The Doctor was indeed, right in. I had been sitting there less than five minutes when he strolled into the room and said “So, I hear you’ve had an interesting evening.”
He pulled up a little rolling stool, put on a pair of gloves, and scooted up for a front row seat between my knees as I sat sideways off the edge of the table. We discussed how I had gotten myself into this situation, and he surveyed the damage. I found it ironic that the one person who had shared this experience with me and who could truly appreciate what I was going through was the one person who was completely at ease with the situation. Of course…..it wasn’t his dick.
It was also the first time I’d gotten a real look at things myself, and it was worse than I’d imagined. The skin on the bottom of my shaft was peeking out through the golden teeth of the zipper all the way from about a half inch above the bottom of the zipper to the top. There was way more blood than I had noticed at first and it had stained my pants several inches in every direction. The total zipped length was nearly five inches, and it was under tension on the inside because the standard response to pain is for your dick to shrink up like a stack of dimes.
The added effect, because my brain is an asshole, was that the pain just intensified once I got a look at it.
He pulled out a pair of trauma shears and we discussed what he was going to do about half a second before he did it with a running commentary. He planned on cutting my pants off around the zipper. I was fine with this, off is good, let’s get this off - free me from my golden restraints good Doctor!
Deftly, gently, and with surprising ease the shears sliced right through the seams and folds of my jeans. He cut the bottom through several layers of denim and seams straight up to the base of the zipper, and sheared off either side about four inches away, leaving me with two flaps joined only by the teeth of the zipper and the button on top. He spun on his wheels, reached in the third drawer behind him, pulled out a pair of cutters like I would have in my toolbox, and snipped off the bottom half-inch of zipper entirely. It fell to the floor and landed with a wet plop.
He gently unbuttoned what was now a much smaller piece of my pants, and examined it closely for a couple minutes with a flap held in either hand.
Then he said something you never, ever, want to hear any manner of medical professional say to you.
“We’re gonna go on three...”
We’re…..WHAT!? Where? Whatthefuckare...
“One”
There was no motherfucking Two. Three was an outright lie.
The way out was as blindingly fast and traumatic as the way in. The entire process was loud, a wild blur of motion, and terrifying. In what I have absolutely no doubt was a process he had experienced before, he tore apart the two halves of my zipper with the haymaker strength of a farm boy and kicked himself away from the side of my examination table with both feet to send himself rocketing backwards across the tiny room well clear of the wild reflexive punch I swung through the space his head had occupied a split second before. He landed in a heap, half fallen off his rolling stool, with a piece of my jeans in either hand and an accomplished smile from ear to ear.
That all happened in less than a second. It took exactly the amount of time it took me to say “MOTHERFUCK-....eh?”
The good side is, it didn’t actually hurt all that much when he did that. The bad side was, the blood was now rushing to my dick and it was throbbing with every heartbeat. It hurt like all hell.
We both took a moment to compose ourselves and both spoke at the same moment, saying the exact same thing.
“Are you alright?”
I looked at the sad strip of hamburger laying in my lap, surrounded by a terrifying amount of dried blood in matted black hair. It looked like Edward Scissorhands had given me an old fashioned.
“No?”
I had visions of sutures, staples, and all forms of Spanish Inquisition cock torture that I was about to endure and was blissfully thankful that all he needed to do was clean everything off and tape a strip of gause to it. After the most unpleasant experience I’ve ever had involving my dick being cleaned, complete with being hosed down with Betadine, now it I just looked like I’d fucked an Oompa Loompa.
I asked what would happen if I got a hardon, would I bleed to death or something? He assured me that the last thing I was going to get in the immediate future was an erection. After a few days it would be fine all on its own.
I thanked him for saving my manhood, secured my pants with my belt, hid the giant square hole in front under my shirt, and headed home. I tossed my shredded jeans in the trash, took a shower that involved the creative application of a baggie and a rubber band that moments before had been holding the wing on my model airplane.
He was right, I didn’t have any danger of getting a hardon for over a week. The throbbing pain became a dull ache that would hover just on the edge of being actively conscious of it. Sleeping was complicated, but I managed. After a few days it didn’t hurt at all, and a couple weeks later I was back to normal. In the third week a full operational test proved that all repairs had been completed and that all systems were operating within nominal specifications.
But it’ll be a cold day in hell before I let a woman zip me up again. I’ll take care of that on my own, thank you.
The scar is considerable, tapering to half an inch wide at the base and running front and center along the bottom of my shaft up to the tip. It’s been the topic of more conversations and won more stupid bets than I want to think about. But it’s part of me, a part of my life, and I’m just thankful that despite the relentless abuse and poor decisions my dick has endured, that all in all, things are working just as they should thanks to the compassionate care of a young country Doctor and a small team of Nurses.
Thank you to everyone in the medical profession, of any rank and stripe, for enduring all that you do to help us fumbling idiots live to see another sunrise. You are awesome.
With my kindest regards, cb
---------Addendum Edit, Because holy shit my inbox.
In the end, like all good stories, things actually worked out alright. Her and I resumed our weekly Pontiac wrestling match and eventually as we gained wisdom, experience and the seasons turned warmer, found several much more comfortable places to explore each other’s bodies. All in all we dated for a little over a year in total. Our relationship ran the natural course of typical highschool lovers, and ended just as it should have. We both ended up dating each other’s friends, such is life in a small town, and went on with our lives.
Her Dad never really did like me all that much, and that’s ok. I was a shitty teenager and certainly didn’t have the best of intentions for his daughter. That’s ok, she wasn’t nearly the good little girl he thought she was. But we were, on the whole, decent kids and we came out alright. He was a good and righteous man and was worth my respect; though I wouldn’t learn the true depths of that until I gained a lot more maturity. He died years ago, far too young, from a heart that wasn’t worthy of the love he carried for so many people.
She’s married now, with a couple kids and what I hope is a good and happy life. I haven’t talked to her in decades, but I sincerely wish her well.
I healed up just fine. This all happened back in 1992. Over the years the scar has faded to being something that’s still there, but hardly noticeable. It looks more like a shadow now, or a slight discoloration. You can still spot it, if you look, but it’s something that doesn’t get mentioned by anyone unless we’ve been together for several months and they’re really exploring my cock. I have to think it’s fine now, as I’ve been complimented many times on it’s appearance.
I’d like to thank the many people who have read this and commented on my writing. I’m just starting out on the path to being an author, and I’ve been posting my stories here on Reddit to see if anyone liked them. It turns out, you really do, far more than I imagined. With all of my heart, thank you. Your support and enjoyment of my dopey stories means far more to me than I can adequately express. I’m still learning how to find my voice, but you’ve certainly helped me along on the path.
If you enjoy my writing, there’s much more of it out there, and even more coming. Check my profile and you’ll find half a dozen other stories scattered about the Reddit universe. You're welcome to follow me or friend me on here if you wish. I would be sincerely honoured and I'm working to earn an audience, and even someday a paycheck. You’ll also find my YouTube channel (I make science and technology educational videos as my day job), and my Patreon if you’d like to support my work. I’m a full time YouTuber now, and for the past year. Though after your responses to my stories lately, I think I’ll add Author to that as well.
And for the ridiculous number of people who have begged for a goddamned pic, fine. Go to Imgur, it's /a/WbCHtEw it's VERY NSFW
Yes, that’s really me. Yes, it’s real. No, I’m straight, but thank you.
TL:DR - A bit of adventuresex at a movie theatre resulted in a blowjob and I get zipped up epicly. Had to go to the Dr and learned my mom's best friend worked there. I was scarred for life. It's a long story but worth your time, read it, you'll like it.
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Soccer Daily Discussion - 5/13/20 (Wednesday)

Soccer Betting Chat: https://discord.gg/q9HNmNT | /sportsbook Rules | Sportsbook List | /sportsbook chat | General Discussion/Questions Biweekly | Futures Monthly | Models and Statistics Monthly | Podcasts Monthly |
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Soccer Daily Discussion - 3/11/20 (Wednesday)

Soccer Betting Chat: https://discord.gg/q9HNmNT | /sportsbook Rules | Sportsbook List | /sportsbook chat | General Discussion/Questions Biweekly | Futures Monthly | Models and Statistics Monthly | Podcasts Monthly |
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Soccer Daily Discussion - 5/8/20 (Friday)

Soccer Betting Chat: https://discord.gg/q9HNmNT | /sportsbook Rules | Sportsbook List | /sportsbook chat | General Discussion/Questions Biweekly | Futures Monthly | Models and Statistics Monthly | Podcasts Monthly |
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Soccer Daily Discussion - 3/14/20 (Saturday)

Soccer Betting Chat: https://discord.gg/q9HNmNT | /sportsbook Rules | Sportsbook List | /sportsbook chat | General Discussion/Questions Biweekly | Futures Monthly | Models and Statistics Monthly | Podcasts Monthly |
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How to create a simple sports betting model and start winning? Football Betting Strategies - Using Mathematical Models for Football Betting Tips EPL Soccer Betting Model - Player Ratings Video How to Build a Sports Betting Model (Part 1) EPL Soccer Betting: Matchweek 1

What follows goes for any sports betting model, and any sport. This isn’t unique to grading systems. This isn’t unique to grading systems. For example, you may have found that 35% of the time a Grade B team beats a grade A at Home, 20% of the time it was a draw, and 45% of the time the away team won. Bookmakers have always been the ones who influenced soccer betting to greatest extent. As bettors always hoped for making great profits by investing little, the bookmakers have always tried to control what bettors can bet on. Below you may find more about to what extent the bookmakers have control over soccer betting. How do bookmakers make bettors to place a bet? For many bettors, there is a *NEW* 2018 NFL Model I’ve recorded a new video on “How to build an NFL sports betting model.” Doing my best to keep it simple (at least in the beginning), trying not to over-intellectualize all the concepts and rabbit holes, like math nerds sometimes to do. The reality is, it’s not that complicated. The aim of any serious soccer bettor is to find data or use a model (usually a combination of both) that will provide accurate predictions of future performance. This article examines whether using past odds is one such method. How to build a soccer betting model with Python (data included) SOCCER. Hi, I run a website that is primarily focused on making advanced stats available to bettors without programming/stats knowledge. But we also make our API freely available and I have seen quite a few posts here (and elsewhere) asking for more information on using this kind

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How to create a simple sports betting model and start winning?

Using a tested mathematical model for Football Betting Tips and Predictions is a route to long-term steady profit 2.) Football Betting Tips and Tricks will only get you so far, they rely on luck ... If you are interested in EPL soccer this season, Riley is back and the betting model has been upgraded! Currently studying advanced probability and statistics, Riley is advancing on what Mark has ... If you are interested in EPL soccer matchweek 1, Riley is back and the betting model has been upgraded! Currently studying advanced probability and statistics, Riley is advancing on what Mark has ... The purpose of the model is to illustrate the concepts and principles behind a linear regression model. The idea is to take this video and learn the basics and then advance your sports betting ... 🏀800 - 666 - 24, +67.06 TAKE A LOOK INSIDE MY BASKETBALL BETTING MODEL - Duration: 8:03. Underdog Chance 749 views. 8:03. Soccer Betting Tips: How to Bet on Soccer - Duration: 7:28 ...